21. Zeke
DAY TWO OF THE 2024 OLYMPICS
Zeke had been in the game long enough to know how to play it. Of all the kids of corporate executives and heirs of billion-dollar companies, Lars Lindberg was far from the worst. Yes, he was a bit rude to service workers and he posted photos with everyone he met with overfamiliar captions to make it seem like they were friends. But compared to the other superrich kids Zeke knew, Lars wasn’t that bad. And he was definitely going to take over the company when his father retired. So, Zeke made small talk and shook hands with Lars, the son of the CEO whose hefty sponsorship money funded Zeke’s athletics career.
“We’re so glad to have you here with us today, aren’t we?” said Lars, once the two of them were onstage for the press launch of Zeke’s latest collaboration with Zeus Athletics. The whole room erupted into applause. Zeke flashed them a smile and sat up straighter in his seat.
Zeke hadn’t done as well as he usually did in morning training because he’d woken up with a familiar, unplaceable sense of anxiety. Running usually made him feel better; the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other was the easiest way to distract himself from his thoughts. But that day, he’d left the gym feeling worse than he’d felt when he’d walked in. His anxiety only got worse that evening when his Zeus Athletics interview began.
“First of all, Zeke, tell me, what’s your favorite thing about Zeus Athletics?” Lars asked.
Zeke was drinking water out of a Zeus Athletics cup while wearing a Zeus Athletics tracksuit in front of a Zeus Athletics backdrop on a Zeus Athletics stage in the middle of a Zeus Athletics venue filled with Zeus Athletics executives. It felt like overkill to talk about how much he loved working with his brand sponsor… Zeus Athletics. But that’s what he was there for.
Walking out onto the stage wearing the logo-covered outfit that the PR team had given him made Zeke feel like a bit of a sellout. Especially since, thanks to his extremely socially conscious cousin Rumbi, he knew there were whole decades of Zeus Athletics’ history conveniently removed from their “about” page. But sponsorships like this funded his career, so he answered Lars’s questions and watched as the audience applauded every single thing he said.
“You’ve got to tell me about that moment in Tokyo, Zeke. How did it feel?” Lars asked as several people in the audience nodded.
“Honestly, it was an out-of-body experience,” said Zeke, smiling as he remembered the day he’d won his silver Olympic medal. But then he felt his smile falter as he remembered the night he’d endured afterward.
In Tokyo, he’d got off to a bad start at the 100m final. He’d started running a few milliseconds later than he should have and began the race way behind his competitors. But something happened in the third second. It was like a part of him he didn’t even know existed kicked in. He’d taken a stride much larger than he usually did, and then another, and then another, at a faster pace than he’d ever run before. It happened so quickly that he didn’t have time to doubt himself. So seamlessly, that it felt like he was flying. He’d zoomed ahead of his competitors and crossed the finish line in second place, in shock as his teammates crowded around him cheering, screaming, and holding him tight. It was the best moment of his life. But as soon as he’d gone back to his room after celebrating the whole evening… the anxiety had begun. A wave of nervousness, a rush of restlessness, and the unshakable sense of impending doom. It had got so bad that he’d begun to worry he was having a heart attack. That his body was about to fail him as a consequence of pushing it too far. After a panicked call, Coach Adam found him in the middle of a full-blown anxiety attack. Deep in a pit of despair just hours after winning his first Olympic medal. But he didn’t tell that part of the story onstage.
“And next week’s race? Back home, people have already started calling you the golden boy. How are you feeling ahead of it?” Lars asked.
While people online and in the sports world thought he was going to win gold in the 100m final and run faster than ever before, Zeke wasn’t quite as sure. He’d come in first place in the last World Athletics sprint, making him the fastest man in the world. But Hasely, Team Trinidad and Tobago’s legendary sprinter, outran him within a couple of months. The Jamaican athletics team dominated at pretty much every Olympics. And Jesse, from Team USA, had already broken the world record that year. The competition was tougher than ever, and the last Team GB sprinter to bring a 100m gold home was Linford Christie all the way back in 1992, eight years before Zeke was born. If he was honest with himself, the pressure of all that expectation was beginning to weigh down on him. But everyone was here to see an interview with Zeke Moyo, the fastest man in Britain. The “(almost) golden boy” who was his country’s surest hope for an Olympic gold medal. Nobody wanted to hear about his self-doubt, so he didn’t let his facade slip.
“I feel confident,” he lied. “I think you have to when you’re competing at this level. But I guess we’ll see on the track.” He was trying to move the conversation along.
“And what does it feel like to represent Britain?” Lars asked.
This, Zeke answered truthfully. “It’s such an honor. I don’t think there’s any greater privilege than knowing you’re going to help inspire the next generation of athletes. When I was a kid, I used to stare up at the TV screen and watch the greats like Linford Christie, Mo Farah, and Kelly Holmes. So, I hope there’s some kid out there who watches my races and thinks that, with hard work and determination, they’ll break my records.”
“You think someone is going to break your record?” asked Lars.
“Not before I do it first!” Zeke said to laughter from around the room. “But it’s only a matter of time before someone does break my record. Eventually someone’s going to break all of our records.” He knew that he was going off script, but he couldn’t seem to stop. “Everyone gets triumphed over and replaced eventually… and that’s what makes each race so exciting.”
It wasn’t the idea of being replaced that worried Zeke, it was the question of legacy. While he could name a dozen achievements his sporting heroes had made off the track, he couldn’t name anything he’d done outside of running that would leave a lasting impact on the world. When his records were inevitably broken and he became one of the former best runners in the world, he didn’t know what would be left of him. Whether he’d have any real legacy beyond the medals that hung above his mother’s fireplace.
There wasn’t a single day since his dad died when he hadn’t questioned whether or not he was doing the right thing. His mind always wandered back to their car-time conversations when he was growing up. To his dad’s dream of Zeke using his success to help other kids with funding and scholarships. How he could give back to the community and create opportunities for the kids who hadn’t grown up with the same running tracks, coaches, and resources as him. But Zeke had got so caught up in climbing up the ranks and winning medals that he was yet to see any of those promises through. The more he thought about it, the more uneasy he began to feel.
“This is your third Olympics, not everybody gets this far,” said Lars. Zeke knew he meant it as a compliment, but Zeke’s body responded to it like a threat. And each question Lars asked made it worse. Zeke was beginning to feel the way he did that night in Tokyo. How he’d felt after the World Championships, the Commonwealth Games, and the Diamond League. The anxiety always started in his shoulders—it was a tension that he couldn’t train himself out of, no matter how much he rolled his shoulders or stretched out his legs. He was starting to feel hot under his shirt. The material of his trousers was itchy. The lighting was too bright.
“Can you imagine yourself back in this seat competing for Team GB in four years?” Lars asked.
“Athletics is the only job where people start to ask you about retirement before you’ve even turned twenty-five,” Zeke said.
“No, I didn’t mean—” said Lars, looking nervous.
“It’s okay,” said Zeke, reassuring him. “I like to take it one run at a time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ridiculously ambitious. I don’t know a single athlete who doesn’t want to be the very best in the world at what they do… and luckily, right now, I am.” The audience laughed long enough for him to catch his now-shallow breath. “But at the moment, my head is completely focused on my race next week.”
He wanted it to be true; he wanted to feel like his head was completely focused on next week’s race. But, in reality, it was taking everything in him not to get up, walk off the stage and out of the tent, and hide in bed for the rest of the day. He stretched his neck from side to side and tapped his foot to try to help himself focus on the interview instead of the thoughts that were swirling around his mind. But he just couldn’t make them stop. As he sat onstage, hearing the quiet click of a camera, he felt himself fading into history. The guilt of unfulfilled promises mingled with the familiar anxiety that crept back into his life every couple of days. He could feel the tension in his muscles, feel the ache in his neck, and feel his heart beating a little faster. So, as soon as the Zeus Athletics event was over, he made a beeline for the door and stepped back out into the fresh air. He needed to go back to the apartment, go for a run, or just do anything to get him out of his head before he got too deep into his thoughts.
As he walked toward GB House, he realized that he’d left his keys in his room that morning. His housemates were both out training, and Coach Adam was probably busy on the track. But he needed to get back into the apartment. The only way to get into his room would be to try the Hub. They must have spare keys, right? So, Zeke walked across the square, down the path, and through the door of the Athletes’ Hub. Behind the desk, a tall, cheerful-looking guy wearing a blue-and-yellow volunteers’ uniform was talking emphatically to a girl who was facing away from the desk, obscuring Zeke’s view of her.
“Hey,” said Zeke as he reached the desk. The guy behind the desk gave him a warm, friendly smile, and then Olivia turned around, raising her eyebrow as she caught his gaze. Her dark, deep-brown eyes seemed to glimmer in the evening sunlight pouring through the window. Her hair was loose, her braids down her back, and she was wearing delicate gold earrings that brought out the warmth in her face. Zeke knew that he was supposed to be focusing all of his attention on training, and avoiding anything that could take his mind off the goal. But he couldn’t help but get distracted whenever he looked into Olivia’s eyes. He was in trouble, and he was already too far gone to change his mind.