Chapter 5
LILY
Whatever the vibes were, Lily chalked it all up to the power of the treehouse in fall.
The smell of the wood, the blankets, and soft lighting had the power to make any moment cozy.
Somehow Lily had found herself alone in her treehouse with not one, but two beautiful women.
And it was clear Maya thought she was attractive, which Lily was on board with, and while she always thought she’d never have a chance with Hanna, it felt like Hanna had a plot twist to share.
There was something else happening here too, and there was no part of Lily’s prowess that wasn’t going to explore it.
“What is this, a sleepover?” Maya said at Lily’s suggestion of Truth or Dare. “Are we twelve?”
Hanna grinned and opened a fresh cider.
“I think it’s clear we aren’t twelve, but this could be a sleepover if you want it to be.
Maya, you’re already staying here–Hanna?
No one in this room can drive you home,” Lily replied.
The cider had her slipping a bit of flirtation into her retort, testing the waters.
She thought of the many times in high school she had brought girls up here who were only looking for a “private place to study” to seal the deal.
“Are you…” Maya’s voice went up an octave playfully, “seducing us?”
Hanna choked on her cider. “What?” she was able to stammer out, looking between the two women.
Lily lifted a blonde brow. “Oh come on, it's just a game,”
“Oh no, no you don’t. If you’re going to fuckboy, lean into it,” Maya said, chuckling.
“Excuse me?” Lily said incredulously, but she liked Maya’s energy. Maybe they’d be getting there a lot faster in the end. “You think I’m laying the groundwork to seduce you both? Hanna over there is probably still broken up over Jeff.”
Hanna rolled her eyes. “I’ll text my mom.”
“Really? I’ve been picking up on, at minimum, curious vibes,” Maya said, looking over at Hanna. Hanna blushed, and then took a long swig of her cider.
With a resolute look in her eyes she looked up at Lily and then turned her gaze to Maya. “I’m a baby bi,” Hanna said.
Lily looked at Hanna as her mind tried to process what Hanna had said.
Not because it couldn’t be true, but because Hanna said it so confidently, like she knew that it was true.
Lily expected her to be blushing, but instead her shoulders were back, and she looked between her and Maya with confidence.
Lily felt the back of her neck heat slightly in excitement and then at the unnerving revelation that if Hanna knew this, someone might have shown her.
Someone who hadn’t been Lily in that very treehouse in high school.
Missed opportunities.
Lily didn’t like that one bit.
“Right on,” Maya said, clinking her cider bottle with Hanna’s.
“Oh no, here we go,” Lily started.
Hanna pursed her lips and set her jaw.“What?” she asked, sounding irritated, and this only ratcheted up Lily’s growing jealousy.
“Did you have an ‘experience’ in college? Some Renee Rapp girl intrigued you?” Lily said, all but rolling her eyes, trying to play off her intensifying emotion.
Hanna's face flushed. “Fuck you, you know bisexuality is a real thing, not just an ‘experience’.”
“I'm not saying it isn’t a real thing, just that—”
“Just that what? I can’t be bi?”
“Well how do you know?” Lily was growing impatient waiting for the answer she really wanted. She knew how she was coming off, but it was like she was possessed by the jealous ghost of her old high school crush.
“I mean she said it, she knows,” Maya said defensively.
Lily knew she sounded like an ass, but how a person knows whether or not they’re bi wasn’t really what she was after.
What she wanted to know was the who, what, and most importantly, when, of it all.
So help her if Hanna discovered things with someone else back in high school.
But she had been with Jeff, Lily tried to soothe herself with reason.
“Lily, are you saying I can’t be bi? Because I have had enough bullshit from people trying to tell me I am not,” Hanna said, her annoyance (rightful, Lily was aware) picking up steam.
Lily took a deep breath and briefly reflected on how this was the second time today she had found herself in a conversation with Hanna where she was for sure in the wrong.
“I am not saying that you can’t be bi, of course you can be bi, I’m just curious how you figured it out and when,” Lily said carefully.
Please don’t say with some other girl in high school.
“Like what her journey was like?” Maya asked.
“Yes, like I always knew since I was a kid, but I guess things were always going to be more visible for me because I’m only attracted to those who identify as women.”
Maya nodded and said, “Phew, I really thought we were going to have to have a ‘bi and pan people exist’ conversation.”
“Same,” Hanna said, but her voice was still cool. “I have had enough people ask me if I am sure or how I know? I mean, I have never hooked up with a woman, but not for lack of trying.” Her eyes dropped and she looked embarrassed.
“What?” Lily asked, first grossly relieved that another woman hadn’t gotten there first and then surprised because Hanna was a snack.
“I know what you mean,” Maya started, “it is really hard to date women if you are not 100% a lesbian.”
“Yeah! Like aside from this lingo everyone seems to know, or be practiced in, the few times I have clicked with a woman she’s weary of me using her for some kind of experience to satiate my curiosity or I’ve simply just been told, ‘I don’t do bi.’”
“Yeah, I’ve been there. And once guys know they think you’re automatically down for a threesome or some shit,” Maya said, turning to pull and hand out another round of ciders from the cooler.
“So fucked up! And so yeah, then you end up only dating guys and then every woman is like ‘Aha! I knew it, you were always going to go back to men,’” Hanna said.
“As if you ever left them,” Maya was nodding, the two women animated by their shared frustration, “as if there’s this competition of what you like better. I like it all, you know? It depends on the person it’s all attached to.”
“People haven’t accepted bisexuality like ever, so I imagine being pan is just as hard.” Hanna and Maya both opened their new ciders and clinked their bottles together.
“Well,” Lily started, “that was certainly illuminating.”
Maya raised an eyebrow as she drank.
“Care to elaborate?” The bite was back in Hanna’s tone.
“No I mean, everything you both said was valid. I didn’t mean what I said in general but more so, like about you, Hanna.” As soon as Lily said it, she knew she’d said the wrong thing.
“And why me? I can know I like women without having been with one,” Hanna said.
“Yeah I mean but if you’ve always known,” Lily realized nothing was coming out of her mouth correctly. She could blame the cider, but it really was likely due to the reviving ghost of her unsatiated crush.
“Yes…” Hanna urged her on, as if daring her to say what she had to say next.
“I just wouldn’t have guessed it is all,” Lily said, trying to organize her thoughts and figure out a way to get the conversation back on a fun track and not one where she was a complete ass.
She decided she was going to have to give some more context here.
“I mean, maybe I had a little crush on you in high school.” Hanna seemed momentarily stunned and then frustrated.
“Why? Because I didn’t let you fuck me in high school, even though you hooked up with every other ‘curious’ girl?
Just because you like girls and I like girls doesn’t mean we were going to hookup, Lily.
” The sting in Hanna’s voice was unmistakable and shocked the room into a brief silence.
“Damn, I feel a bit out of place here,” Maya said cautiously, but with a smirk on her face.
Hanna again was speaking straight facts, and to avoid digging herself into a deeper hole, Lily asked the question she really wanted to know. “Did you want me to fuck you?” Lily asked with a frankness she mastered long ago, but found herself nervous for Hanna’s answer.
“Maybe,” Hanna said quietly, and Lily felt the room tilt slightly under the weight of the revelation.
Lily’s former crush was now a fully revived crush.
“I mean to be fair, I picked up on that three ciders ago, there is def something between you two,” Maya said, shrugging her shoulders.
There was another beat of silence before Hanna said, “I thought…I mean, you clearly have been flirting with Maya.”
“It’s true, you have been,” Maya nodded in agreement, “but for what it’s worth, Hanna girl, you are beautiful.”
What the fuck was happening here? Did Maya have more game than her?
“What is happening here?” Lily said out loud.
“Oh, come on, you were laying it on so thick before,” Maya said.
“I didn’t think, well, I thought maybe—” Lily started.
“That I’d get uncomfortable and you’d get to have Maya in your cabin of ‘love’?” Hanna said, her voice still laced with annoyance, and Lily thought, jealousy?
“I was planning on just seeing where this all went. I don’t know,” Lily muttered and shrugged, trying to not let on that her mind was still trying to process and catch up.
There was another beat of silence before Maya spoke again. “Where do we want it to go?”
“What do you mean?” Hanna said, her voice losing its edge and coming out breathy.
“I mean, let’s just put the cards on the table here. We’ve been pussyfooting around for like two hours in this obvious sex pad,” Maya said.
Lily felt herself nod slightly before saying, “And we have been presented here with an opportunity where we are all into each other.”
“We are?” Hanna asked incredulously.
“We are,” Maya said back.
Lily’s heart hammered in her chest. She had been sure Hanna would eventually leave and she would be able to kiss sweet Maya. But both?
Holy shit.
Maya set her cider aside and then leaned forward onto her knees so she could get closer to Lily and Hanna.
“I’d like to make out with both of you. Is that ok?”
“God, yes,” Lily breathed out before she could really think about it.
“Make out? That’s it?” Hanna said, her face flushing.
“Good point, anyone have any hard boundaries?” Lily said, her mouth beginning to water. Her body responding to what her mind was still trying to process.
“None,” Maya said, “Honestly this break is already going way better than I thought.”
“I want to try everything and anything,” Hanna blurted. When Maya smiled at her she added, “It’s why I broke up with Jeff.”
“Ah,” Lily heard herself say.
“So what do we do, um, how do we…” Hanna trailed off.
“Get on my lap,” Lily said to Hanna. God she had been dying to get this girl in her lap for some time.
Hanna moved to straddle Lily, and Maya sat behind her. She placed her brown hands on Hanna’s shoulders, hooking her thumbs under the straps of her tank top.
“So first time with a—with women, we should take care of you,” Maya said, and she lightly kissed Hanna’s bare shoulder.
Lily heard Hanna’s sharp intake of breath and her eyes focused on the spot where Maya’s lips met Hanna’s skin, and then her gaze lifted in sync with Hanna’s till they were looking at each other.
The next thing Lily knew, Hanna’s lips were on hers fully, her generous breasts taking up the space between them as Hanna bent down and took her mouth like she had been waiting to do so all this time.
Lily had kissed many, many girls, but Hanna was the first to kiss her like she was starving.
She heard Maya utter a soft, “Fuck,” and Lily was lost.