8. Chapter 8
Chapter 8
LANE
Wednesday comes far sooner than I’d like, and after getting acquainted with the employee day care on campus I now have privileges to, I meet my friend Gabby at the student coffee shop, The Buzzy Bean. It’s crowded, teeming with students heading to and from class, so while we wait to place our orders I fill her in on my weekend and everything she missed.
Once we finally have our coffees and croissants in hand, I take a large sip of mine as we step outside into the mid-morning sun, hoping the caffeine will help perk me up, or at least clear the fog hovering in my brain. Sophie woke this morning at five a.m. after I stayed up far too late reading, which was entirely my fault. Either way, both have me exhausted and regretting my life choices as I try to fight the brain fog dulling my thoughts.
“So, let me get this straight,” Gabby says, waving her paper takeout bag around. “You met a hot guy at the park who was charming and didn’t mind that you had your daughter with you, but you’re going to completely ghost him now just because you discovered he plays football?”
Gabby eyes me like I’m crazy, one dark brow arched like a black cat on Halloween, but that’s one of the things I love about her. I never have to guess what she’s thinking; she wears all her emotions plainly on her face. It reminds me of when I was pregnant and she went around giving half the school the stink-eye for being judgmental about it.
When got knocked up, most of my friends acted as though they’d stick by me while simultaneously turning around and stabbing me in the back. Rumors about the alleged father spread around the school, mostly fueled by these “so-called friends.” Some of the things people said were so outlandish, I would have laughed if I hadn’t spent the entire nine months punishing myself for making the mistake in the first place and scared out of my mind to become a mother at such a young age. They called me terrible names, flinging insults like frisbees, all while being nice to my face.
At least the boys openly stared and snickered. I preferred that to the two-faced girls who hid their condemnation behind empty platitudes and plastic smiles. Gabby was the only one who truly had my back. Our friendship grew closer as the weeks and months passed, and by the time I gave birth to Sophie, we both had someone in our corner I knew I could never replace no matter how crazy life got.
Now, she lives on campus with her new roommate, who would’ve been me if circumstances had been different.
The thought sends a stab of jealousy through my chest, but I push it down. It’s not fair to begrudge her a normal college life, and I can no longer regret my choices either because they brought me Sophie.
And Sophie is everything.
Now I spend most of my energy on ensuring I’m the perfect mother and daughter. No more mistakes. No more decisions based on emotion that might put me in a bad place.
“You know I don’t date football players,” I say, eyeing her.
Never again.
“Besides, he seemed okay with me having Sophie. I don’t really know anything. The idea of dating someone with a child and actually dating them and being cool with it are two entirely different things.”
“Okay, you might have a point, and under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t argue with the semantics behind football players being off-limits. I mean, your dad is the coach. That could potentially get messy, but you’re never going to know if it would work if you don’t try, right?”
I sigh. “I don’t need to try to know it won’t work. There are a million reasons why I won’t give him a shot. Him being a football player is merely one of a dozen.”
“But you did give him your number. There had to be a reason. I don’t think you’ve done that, like, ever.”
We take the curve in the sidewalk leading to her lecture hall.
She has a point.
“Temporary insanity?”
She snorts and I grimace.
Gabby’s been pestering me to start dating for a while, and I know she means well, but I don’t have time for anyone else in my life. Hell, I barely have time for her. We only ever hang out in-between classes and on the occasions she stops by the house to visit with me and Soph.
She pauses in front of Smithe Hall and scrunches her nose. “This is my stop.”
I chuckle. “Don’t look so excited.”
“I know some people dig astronomy, but it’s so freaking boring. Ugh. I fall asleep every single time.” She shifts the book bag on her shoulder. “What do you have going on the rest of the day?”
“After this class, I have anthropology, and then I’ll probably get an hour of homework in before practice starts and I show up for my first day as student manager for the team.” I snap my mouth shut, eyes wide when I realize what I said. I’d yet to tell her about the student manager gig, mostly because I know she’ll have feelings about me working in such close proximity to Chance. Even before I got pregnant, she disliked him, but after? I can’t so much as say his name without her lip curling.
I press my fingers over my mouth. Maybe she didn’t hear me?
“Say what now about being a student manager?”
I wince. “The estimate on the roof of the lake house is much higher than I’d hoped, and if I want to move in anytime soon, I need the money to fix it, and I refuse to accept financial help from my parents, so . . . ”
“So you took your father up on the offer to get you that spot?” she asks, and I nod. Gabby squeals and reaches out, yanking me into a hug.
Her enthusiasm surprises me.
“That’s amazing! And good for you for taking what you want.” She squeezes my arms as she draws back. “You deserve it, and screw Chance Lockhart. You shouldn’t be put out because he’s an asshole. If you didn’t take it, someone else with connections would. We both know how that goes, so it might as well be you. Don’t go feeling all guilty. Everything you have, you’ve earned through hard work. You’re the furthest thing from being a nepo baby.”
My cheeks flush and I give a little shrug. Gabby knows me too well. “Well, we agree about Chance, but like it or not, taking the job in and of itself is nepotism, but it doesn’t matter. I promised myself I’d have a place of my own and get out of their hair by graduation, and that’ll be here before you know it.”
“Wait.” Gabby’s brows knit. “If you’re taking the student manager position, that also means . . .” She trails off as her eyes brighten. “You’ll be forced to see Teagan nearly every single day.”
“Don’t remind me.” I groan. “Though I’m sure it’s a non-issue after ignoring his texts and telling him to lose my number.”
He might’ve given the impression of being persistent but in my experience, guys our age lose interest, fast. No one wants to put in the amount of effort dating me would take.
Besides, it’s not like we really know each other. We met one time prior to practice on Monday.
My gaze shifts, and it’s as though our conversation conjured him when I see him rounding the corner of the student affairs building.
“Shit,” I hiss and jerk my gaze away, dropping my head and praying he didn’t see me.
“Lane, hey!” he calls out.
I wince, then proceed to cower behind Gabby’s petite frame like I can hide from him, even though he’s obviously already spotted me.
“Is it the insanely good-looking blond we’re avoiding?” Gabby asks, her tone awed.
I nod, unwilling to glance up at him to confirm his proximity.
Gabby, however, has no problem staring. Her mouth curls as she checks him out.
“Stop that,” I hiss-whisper. “Don’t let him see me.”
“For the love of all that is holy, that man is fire. Please tell me this is Teagan.”
“Lane,” the voice calls out again, only this time he’s closer and slightly out of breath from his jaunt across campus to reach us.
I swallow. Hiding is useless, and when I lift my head, it’s to the sight of his beautiful face.
He’s even more handsome than I remembered, and it’s as if my mind blocked out the memory as a means of self-preservation.
His blond hair is a mess of waves, trimmed neatly on the sides and back. I only saw him two days ago, yet it looks like he’s gotten a haircut since then, and I hate that my first thought is how good it looks. How good he looks.
Ugh. What is it with men and freshly cut hair? Why is a well-groomed and put together man so sexy? I can’t even remember the last time I had a haircut. Maybe a year ago?
When you have more responsibilities than time, you tend to let yourself slip. I’m not even sure I know the meaning of the term self-care.
Manicure? Pfft. My four-year-old does my nails now, which has the added benefit of painting the entire fingertip.
Pedicure? Ha! Haven’t had one since my sixteenth birthday when Dad booked a spa day for me and Mom as a gift.
Don’t even get me started on facials. I’m lucky to muster the time and energy to wash my face at night.
I run a hand self-consciously through my locks.
I bet he smells good, too.
I barely resist the urge to sniff him when I ask, “What are you doing here?”
“Uh, I go to school here, remember?” He stares down at me, a grin curving his mouth while he squints, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
“Right. I knew that.” I shake my head, slightly flustered.
Of course I knew he went to school here. What a dumb question.
“What I meant to ask is why you’re flagging me down after my father gave a clear warning to stay away from me and I told you to lose my number?”
Beside me, Gabby chokes on a sip of coffee.
Teagan turns toward her while I shoot her a glare and sticks a hand out. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Teagan Nichols.”
Gabby beams at him as she shakes his hand a little too enthusiastically. “Gabby Gonzolez. Lane’s best friend.” She grins. “You’re hot.”
“Gabby!” I croak.
Teagan chuckles and his dimples take that moment to make their appearance.
I want to smooth them out with my fingers, make them disappear. They’re too fucking cute for their own good.
“Hey, Teagan!” Two long-legged brunettes call out as they pass.
He offers them a head nod while I fight a spike of irritation.
Of course. He probably has a million girls he strings along, just like the rest of them.
“Those your groupies?” I purr.
“Depends.” He grins. “You jealous?”
I choke on a laugh when Gabby slaps a hand over my chest to stop whatever word vomit is about to spew from my mouth. “Do you like kids, Teagan?” she asks him.
I want to die.
Seriously.
Dig a hole and throw me in.
My entire face catches fire, but the worst part is that I find myself waiting for his answer.
But Teagan just chuckles like this is a question he’s asked all the time and is not completely humiliating. “I love kids. Tiny humans are cool.”
“See?” Gabby turns to me, eyes wide. “Tiny humans are cool.”
“Anyway . . .” I drawl, trying to quickly change the subject. Not that I want to be discussing anything with him. “Didn’t I tell you to lose my number?” I ask him again.
“Lane!” Gabby gasps, but Teagan remains unfettered.
He hooks his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans, the picture of easy confidence as his lips quirk. “I don’t scare easily.”
Beside me Gabby snickers, and I shoot her a glare that says, Don’t you have class?
I toy with my coffee cup, flustered. “There has to be something that would turn you off.”
“Just liars.”
“Well, great. I’ll make it a point to lie through my teeth from now on.” Frustrated, I sigh and rake a hand through my hair. “Listen, I’m busy, and I’m not looking to date right now.”
“So, if that’s a lie, then you are looking to date?”
“What?” I shake my head. “No. I was just—”
Teagan laughs, and I roll my eyes.
“Relax, Lane. Who said anything about wanting to date you?”
You know a minute ago when I thought I might die of embarrassment? Yeah, I was wrong. Now is the time of my death.
My cheeks catch fire, and I want to crawl in a hole and die. How could I be so presumptuous? Of course he doesn’t want to date me. I’m a college student and a single mom. I flat out told him my life is complicated. I’m basically a walking, talking disclaimer. Most guys don’t want to touch me with a ten-foot pole when they find out I’ve got a child at twenty-one.
“Oh. I . . .” I snap my mouth closed. What the hell do I say?
If he’s not interested in me, then what does he want from me?
“Right, sorry. My bad,” I mumble.
He chuckles and bumps my arm with his. “Lane, I’m kidding.” Then he rolls his eyes. “Of course I was interested. Have you looked in a mirror lately?” He reaches out and brushes a thumb over the heat in my cheeks, and I suck in a breath at the electric jolt of his touch. “You’re so freaking cute when you’re flustered.”
“But . . .” I stumble over my words. “My father . . .”
Teagan grimaces at the reminder. “I know. Kind of put a hitch in my step, not to mention the fact that you’re clearly uninterested. You and I probably aren’t the best idea.”
All the air leaves my lungs as if someone popped me like a balloon, and I feel a pang of disappointment deep inside my chest. Which is ridiculous. I don’t want a relationship, but I can’t deny that his interest feels nice.
“I couldn’t agree more,” I say, chewing on my lip.
Gabby’s forehead crinkles, her eyes narrowing as she crosses her arms over her chest and asks, “So, what do you want from her, then?”
“Wait,” I say as a thought occurs to me. “Do you want me to put in a good word for you with my father? Is that what this is about?”
After all, he had gotten in trouble with him, hadn't he?
“What? No!” Teagan flinches before shaking his head. “Listen, I know we barely know each other, so I won’t take your question personally, but let me just tell you now, I am not that guy. I’m not a user. I wouldn’t ask you to do that, and something tells me you wouldn’t even if I did.”
He’s not wrong.
“But I don’t give up easily. And you seem pretty cool.” He bumps my shoulder like we’re buddies. “I just thought we could be friends.”
“Friends,” I say, like I don’t understand the meaning of the word.
“Yeah.” He grins, and when his dimples pop, I want to stick a finger in one. “You know, a person who someone talks to and maybe even admires in a non-sexual way? Someone you hang out with for fun?”
“I know what friends are,” I snap, even though I might not have much time for them. “What I don’t understand is why you’d want to be friends with me.”
Wow. What a winning endorsement, Lane. Way to sell yourself.
Teagan’s brows rise. “Well, after I realized you’re clearly uninterested in me, I decided it was probably best to heed your father’s warning. But it’s hard to meet cool people outside of football, and I just figured, why not? I like you. You’re funny and cute and I could do worse.”
“Wow. Sign me up,” I say, my tone dry while Gabby chokes on a laugh again.
Teagan rolls his eyes. “I don’t mean it like that. I’m a freshman, remember? The new guy on campus.” He shrugs. “You seem like a pretty cool chick, and I could use a friend.”
I stare at him like he’s a new breed of animal.
“And there’s only so much testosterone I can take before I need a break from it, you know?” He screws up his face. “It would be nice to have a chick around whom I can talk to and hang out with when I have time. So, what do you say?”
All I can think is, he used ‘whom’ properly. If anything, that’s reason alone to be friends.
“What do I say?” I stare at him for a moment, at a loss for words.
“Yeah. You can never have too many friends, right? So, is it a deal?”
Beside me, Gabby hip bumps me. “Yeah, bestie, what do you say?”
I frown over at her before I return to the intense cerulean blue of Teagan’s eyes, unsure of what game he’s playing. “I don’t know. I barely have time for the friends I do have.”
“You’re talking to a division one football athlete, remember? And I’m currently in-season. Time is not an asset I have either, so you’re not alone.”
I hesitate, mostly because I can’t think of one good reason to say no.
What does one more friend hurt? It’s not like I’m making him any promises, and he seems completely genuine. My gut tells me Teagan Nichols is a good guy, despite whatever went down with my father and the team.
“Come on, Lane,” he says when I don’t answer right away. “I’m not asking for a proposal here. I’m just asking to chat here and there when we see each other on campus. Maybe we could study together. Talk before practice or grab a coffee occasionally . . .”
Gabby shoots me a pleading look. “Damnit, I have to go or I’m going to be late.” She steps forward and wraps me up in a hug, whispering, “If you’re crazy enough to not want to jump this boy, you better at least be friends with the poor guy.” She pulls away, and I hate her a little when she winks and says, “If you don’t, I will.” She offers Teagan a little wave goodbye before she disappears into the building.
When I focus back on Teagan, I purse my lips. “And what if I say no?”
“I’ll ask again tomorrow.” He grins.
I huff. “Are you always this persistent?”
“When it comes to things I want.” His eyes glitter, and my stomach clenches.
“Aside from school and work, I hardly ever leave the house,” I warn.
“I get it.” He shrugs. “If I’m free, I can come to you.”
I open and close my mouth in one last-ditch effort to come up with an excuse to avoid him, but I’m all out of excuses. This boy has an answer for everything, and the truth is, I have no real reasons for why we can’t be friends. So, I offer him a feeble, “But we hardly know each other.”
He snorts and reaches out, giving my ponytail a playful tug. “Looks like we’ll have to get to know each other. That’s what friends do, right?”
I take a deep breath, eyeing him closely. “If you think this will lead to something more, I should tell you now, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. I don’t have the capacity for more.”
“Worried about me?” He cocks his head, his gaze warm as my heart leaps in my chest.
This is a bad idea.
I swallow. “No. Just stating facts.”
He stares at me for a moment, some emotion I can’t read flickering in his eyes. “Who hurt you?”
My eyes widen, and I take a step back. “What?”
“Someone did,” he says so plainly, I want to ask him how he knows.
“No one hurt . . .” I trail off and scoff, evading his observation. “Guys can’t just be friends with women. At least not when they’re attracted to each other,” I say, hating that I’m repeating back the words Chance said to me after practice. “You’ll either come to want something or expect something in return. That’s how it always goes.”
“So you admit you’re attracted to me?” he teases.
My lips part, aghast, before he steps closer and slings one of his muscular arms over my shoulder. “Oh, I can be friends, Lane Turner. I’m a giver, not a taker.”
My heart seizes as my mind rolls completely into the gutter. I’m a giver, not a taker. My gaze drifts over his square jaw to the gentle curves of his mouth. His lips are full and pink and—what the hell?
I swallow when I realize he’s waiting for me to respond, to say something. “As long as we’re on the same page,” I manage and barely refrain from patting myself on the back for forming words.
He gives my shoulders a little squeeze like we’re already best buds. “Trust me when I say I won’t expect anything from you. At least not anything you’re unwilling to give.”
“Teagan, if this is a game—”
“Damn,” he gives his head a little shake. “You don’t trust easily, do you?”
“No.” There’s no point in denying the truth.
“Well then, I’ll just have to earn it, won’t I?”
He drops his arm and takes a step back as he smiles down at me, an adorable crinkle forming at the corners of his eyes. “I’m a good friend, Lane. The fucking best. Just you wait and see.”