12. Chapter 12
Chapter 12
TEAGAN
Lane climbs inside her car while I stand there, frozen.
Her words replay in my head as I try to make sense of them but for some reason, they won’t compute.
“Lane, wait,” I yell, scrambling for the car, but it’s too late. She’s already pulling away as I run after her and reach out.
I miss the back of her car, my hands finding nothing but air as she drives out of the parking lot and onto the road.
I’m too late. Took too long to process.
I’m a fucking idiot.
“Shit!” I shove my hands in my hair, the red glow of her taillights disappearing from view.
She’s not my sister . . .
Teagan, Sophie is my daughter . . .
Bet you’re glad we’re just friends now, huh?
I close my eyes as the truth sinks in.
I’m a damn fool, a complete and utter fucking moron.
The evidence was all there. Lane never once led me to believe Sophie was anything but hers, and yet I just assumed, saw what I wanted to see.
The memory of the hurt flaring in her eyes stabs me in the chest.
Any chance I might have had of convincing her we should be more than friends has died with my blunder, I’m sure of it.
If you still want her . . .
Do you?
I do. Of course I fucking do.
My answer comes quickly, like a punch to the gut, along with the knowledge it’s no longer as simple as wanting her.
She has a daughter. A four-year-old daughter. It changes things, whether I want it to or not, because it’s not just Lane and me. There’s another person to consider.
Suddenly, everything makes sense.
This is why she said her life was complicated. Why she insisted she has no time to date. The reason she’s so guarded. The person who hurt her? I can almost guarantee it’s Sophie’s father, whoever he is—wherever he is.
The thought hits me like a Mack truck.
Somewhere out there Sophie has a father, and I know exactly zero about the situation.
Is Lane still in love with him? Is he involved in Sophie’s life? What about Lane’s? Does he share custody? Are there hard feelings, or did it end amicably? Hell, maybe it hasn’t ended at all.
I scrub my hands over my face as my thoughts churn until they’re one congealed mass of unknowns.
I reach into my pocket for my phone and pull it out. I want to text her, but I have no idea what the hell to say.
An apology feels awfully inadequate, considering the situation and my reaction to the news she’s a mother.
On a scale from one to ten, I wonder how pissed she is.
Probably a ten, I decide. After all, she warned me I didn’t want her, and my deer-in-headlights reaction to the news that she’s a mother gave her zero reason to believe otherwise.
I slip my phone back into my pocket, deciding to wait until I have a clear head, then turn toward my car.
I need to think, to let the dust settle and figure out my next move. The situation is more delicate than I originally thought and reacting without forethought won’t serve me well.
By the time I get back to the dorms, I’m no better off than I was standing in the parking lot of Slice. When I enter and find no sign of Tommy, I’m more than a little relieved. He knows I met someone in the park over the weekend, but I haven’t updated him on the situation yet, so he has no idea that girl is Coach’s daughter. I’m not about to tell him tonight when the situation just got a hell of a lot more complicated.
I make a beeline for my bedroom, needing the privacy in case he comes home.
Closing the door behind me, I walk over to my bed and settle down before I slide out my phone. I navigate to the FaceTime app where I start a group call to the boys, praying they’re around.
Atlas answers first, followed by Graham and Jace, and I breathe a sigh of relief before I focus on Jace who, from the looks of it, is lying in bed with no shirt.
“What’s up, man?” he drawls a second before I see a hand with bright pink fingernails slide over his chest, and I groan.
“Brynn is with you, isn’t she?”
He offers me a sheepish grin as Brynn scoots further into the frame, her bare shoulders peeking out from beneath the sheets. “Hey, bro!”
I grunt and pinch the bridge of my nose as I fight for composure I don’t have.
Knowing my little sister is with my best friend like that and seeing the evidence for myself are two very different things. “Seriously, man?”
“What?” Jace shrugs. “I tried to hide her.”
Graham bursts out laughing, while Mackenzie pokes her head onto Atlas’s phone, settling in beside him.
Do all my friends have to be so in love? Usually, I’m happy for them but right now, it’s fucking infuriating.
“You could’ve gotten dressed or, I don’t know, just not answered your phone. Now I have an image playing in my head that makes me want to blow chunks, and there’s no erasing that.”
Brynn rolls her eyes. “That’s a bit dramatic.”
Maybe. But I’m feeling a little raw right now.
With a sigh, I roll my head on my neck and take a deep breath. “Actually, it’s good you’re here. I could use your opinion.”
“Oh my gosh! My big brother needs my advice?” Brynn jolts upright, taking the sheet with her and flashing all of us a healthy glimpse of Jace’s pecker.
“Whoa!” Graham yells while I shield my eyes.
“I’ve gone blind,” I choke out.
“I feel violated,” Atlas mumbles beneath the throw pillow he’s currently clutching to his face.
“That big, huh?” Jace wiggles his brows before he slides out of bed, giving us a glimpse of his bare ass this time as he tugs on a pair of boxer briefs.
“Seriously, man! What the hell?” I throw a hand up.
“Isn’t he lovely?” Brynn murmurs dreamily.
“Not my choice of words,” Graham chimes in.
“Eyes on the camera, Brynn!” I snap to which she tips her head back and laughs.
I groan and let my head fall back against the headboard with a thunk.
“Had I known we were gonna get a peep show, I would’ve grabbed some popcorn.” Mackenzie snickers.
I scrub a hand over my face at the same time Atlas jerks in her direction. “Wait. You saw that? Don’t look at that idiot.”
Mackenzie laughs. “Jealous?”
Atlas frowns, which only makes her laugh harder as she says, “Call us even for the chick that flashed you at the game yesterday.”
Atlas rolls his eyes with a grunt, then returns his attention to the camera.
“A chick flashed you her tits?” Jace asks, sounding impressed.
Mackenzie rolls her eyes. “Yesterday, at Georgia Tech. We were leaving the field, and some chick with a sign and Atlas’s number, called his name, then just”—Mackenzie mimes lifting her shirt—“flashed him her entire mammary gland.”
Jace winces. “Ew. That sounds . . .”
“Gross?” Atlas nods. “Yeah, that’s why she’s saying it that way. Makes it sound so fucking unappealing.”
“I think it’s the word gland,” Graham muses.
“Definitely,” Jace agrees. “Though the word mammary doesn’t exactly tickle my dick.”
I call them for advice and this is what I get. A long look at Jace’s dick and a discussion about mammary glands. These guys are seriously unhinged.
“I keep getting flack for looking but what was I supposed to do?” Atlas shrugs. “Someone calls your name, it’s instinct to glance their way. But as soon as I realized her ti—”
“Mammary glands,” Mackenzie interrupts.
Atlas shudders. “Right. As soon as I realized those were out, I glanced away.”
Graham laughs at the same time his girlfriend, Sky, pokes her head on the screen. “Did I miss something? What’s so funny?”
Sky is technically deaf and only hears with cochlear implants so I have no doubt, if she wasn’t focused on our conversation, she has no idea what’s going on.
“Not much,” Graham says. “Just Jace’s flaccid dick and Atas ogling a random chick’s mammary glands.”
“Ew.”
“Precisely.” He grins.
“For the record”?Atlas holds a finger up?“there was no ogling.”
“And flaccid or not, my dick is fucking fantastic,” Jace says. “Admit it, boys. Between the high school locker rooms and college, we’ve seen a lot of wang, and mine tops them all.”
A smug grin spreads his lips, and I shake my head.
“Why?” I slap a hand over my face. “Why did I call you guys in my time of need?”
“Good question,” Graham says, his expression thoughtful.
There’s a knocking somewhere over the line before a foreign voice calls out, “You decent?”
I frown, wondering who the hell that is when we’re all here, when Jace turns his head toward the door and calls back, “I’m good.”
I hear the creaking of a door and then: “Hey, man, did you see—” The voice dies suddenly before another face completely fills Jace’s screen.
Chris, Jace’s roommate.
His eyes widen, and he points an accusatory finger. “Are you guys FaceTiming without me?”
“Teagan needs advice,” Brynn says beside him.
“Ooh. What about? I’m great with advice. Scootch in.” He holds the phone out, glancing down at Brynn and Jace as he pushes his way onto the bed, flopping right down between them while Brynn clutches the sheet against her and Jace cusses him out.
Once he’s settled, Jace glares at him. “Your eyes better stay fucking north,” he warns.
“Chill, man,” Chris says, his tone indignant. “I would never. Brynn is like a sister to me. Right, Brynn?” He turns and she nods.
The three of them are crammed into a queen bed like sardines. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever fucking seen, but also, kind of funny.
At least, it would be, if I weren’t in a pissy mood.
I need new friends that aren’t jackasses.
“And since when are you good at advice?” Jace grumbles. “I don’t remember any stellar advice when I needed it.”
“Are you kidding me?” Chris spears him with a glare. “First, I told you to stay away from Brynn, that she was going to complicate shit and cause you problems. Sorry, babe.” He glances over at her.
“Don’t fucking call her babe,” Jace snaps, but Chris just turns back to him and grins.
“Then, after it was clear you couldn’t stay away from her, I told you to go for it because you were acting like a pussy. And when you expressed your concerns about messing up your friendship with Teagan, I told you to keep it a secret because he was in another state. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. You’re welcome.”
“Keeping it a secret was bad advice,” Jace says.
“Looks like it worked out pretty well to me.” Chris motions between them.
“Whatever,” I grumble. “If you two assholes are done arguing, can I talk now? Or would anyone else like to chime in with any completely irrelevant information? Maybe what you had for lunch, the last time you took a shit . . .?”
Chris purses his lips. “My last—”
“I was kidding,” I grind out. “No one wants to know.” Chris shrugs.
“This about that chick, the coach’s daughter you friend zoned?” Graham asks.
Jace rolls his eyes. “Of course it’s about her. We told him that plan was a disaster waiting to happen.”
“Yep, definitely about her,” Atlas agrees.
I grit my teeth. “The friend plan isn’t the problem, it’s . . .” I trail off, suddenly unsure how to say it to these clowns in a way which will force them to be fucking serious for a minute. “I found out tonight that the little girl I’ve seen her with isn’t her sister. It’s her daughter.”
There. I said it. Out loud.
And it turns out, I didn’t need to say it any which way because I glance at the faces of my friends and there’s not a single one of them who doesn’t appear either completely sober at the news or shocked.
“Wait a minute. Hold up.” Jace blinks. “She has a daughter? Like, a little human that came from her vagina and now relies on her for every-fucking-thing?”
Graham arches a brow. “Glad you didn’t skip health class.”
“Does she look like her?” Jace asks.
“What the fuck does that matter?” I snap.
“It matters,” Jace insists.
I sigh, trying hard to keep my composure. “I tell you that my dream girl, the one I’ve created an entire, long game plan for, has a daughter, and that’s your first question?”
Jace shrugs. “I’m just saying. It would be fucking weird if the kid looked like the father.”
I reach back and massage my neck. “I don’t even know who the father is, but other than Sophie’s hair color, yeah, she looks like Lane.”
“Lane,” Chris drawls. “That’s the chick’s name?”
“Yeah,” I answer with a nod.
“Sounds fucking hot.”
For some reason, this makes me smile. “She is hot. We’ve established this, remember?”
“But she’s also a mom,” Graham chimes in like I need reminding. “Are you sure you want to be involved in all of that?”
“That’s a lot of responsibility,” Jace adds, his tone serious now. “And it wouldn’t ever just be you and her. It’ll always be you, her, and her daughter; the three of you. With football and everything else, it’s more than most could handle.”
“Then if it doesn’t work out, and the kid gets attached . . .” Graham shakes his head.
“That’s tough.” Chris frowns. “College football is insanely demanding. Making time for a relationship is hard enough, let alone trying to make a go of it with someone who has a kid.”
Fuck. This conversation isn’t going how I hoped.
My stomach sinks with every new reason they give me for why it’s a bad idea.
But what did I expect? They’re not saying anything I haven’t thought of myself during the drive back to the dorms.
“I know it’s bad timing. Hell, there have been days this first month where I’ve had no idea how I’m going to keep my grades up, excel on the field, and somehow find a sliver of time to spare for a social life so I don’t go fucking crazy. Add a girl with a child into the situation, and, yeah, it complicates things significantly. Especially when she’s every bit as busy as I am and armed to the hilt. Not to mention the fact that she’s Coach’s daughter.
“But she’s also fucking amazing,” I say. More so now that I know Sophie is hers. “I mean, she’s managing to hold down a job, while going to school full time. She bought a house which she’s currently in the process of flipping, and she’s drop dead gorgeous. Though she’s soft on the inside, she doesn’t take anyone’s shit either, and from what little I’ve seen, she’s a fucking amazing mother. She’s . . .” I shake my head and rub a palm over the subtle pressure unfurling in my chest. “She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Incredible doesn’t even begin to describe her.”
“Ho-ly shit,” Jace stares wide-eyed at the screen.
“What?” I ask, shoving my free hand into my hair.
“He’s got it bad,” Graham says.
“You barely know her, and you’re totally smitten.” Brynn beams, and I roll my eyes.
“Struck by the love bug.” Chris shakes his head, a dopey look on his face.
Jace smacks him in the arm.
“Ow!” Chris yelps and rubs it. “What the hell, man?”
“If you’re going to join in our conversation, don’t be a fucking cheeseball.” He stares at him another beat and points to his own chest. “That’s my job.”
I snort at the same time my gaze focuses on Atlas, who’s unusually quiet. Out of the four of us, he’s always a little less vocal, a little more serious, but the tight set of his jaw and intense look in his eyes tells me he has something he’s not saying.
“Atlas, you’re quiet. What are you thinking, man?”
“I mean . . .” His jaw works as he stares off into space. Then as if choosing his words carefully, he says, “Out of the four of us, you’re the only one with parents who aren’t fucked up. I don’t know, so it kind of makes sense to me that out of all of us, you’d be the one who could handle the complexities that come with dating a chick with a kid.”
His answer draws me up short, and I can tell by the silence of the others, it surprises them, too.
“I mean, you come from a home where you’re completely loved by two parents who were always there for you,” he continues. “Which means you have a great example of what it is to be a role model and what healthy relationships look like.” He glances next to him on the couch and reaches out to Mackenzie, who appears to be intently listening while staring at him, her expression soft. It makes me wonder if Atlas doesn’t worry about having a family of his own one day, and how he’ll do as a father since his own upbringing was so fucked up.
He glances back at the screen and shrugs. “If anyone can make this work, it’s you. The question is, do you want to? Do you still want her, knowing all it entails?”
I feel the intensity of everyone’s attention boring a hole through the screen.
Do I still want Lane knowing she has a daughter?
I feel like my answer should be no. I’m too busy, and I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. If you ask me if I’m ready to be a father yet, the answer is no. But Lane isn’t asking me to be anything. Hell, I had to convince her to even allow me in her life enough to be her friend.
But I do know I can be a role model. Tonight with Sophie was fun, and Lane is fucking amazing. Her having a child changes none of that. Not one fucking thing. If anything, it adds another dynamic to her person, another layer for me to love.
She had a baby at seventeen.
That takes guts.
Grit.
Strength.
She didn’t shirk her responsibilities. Instead, she dealt with them head-on and did it with fucking grace. I watched as she sat there tonight and cared for Sophie with love in her eyes instead of bitterness and resentment. She could have easily developed a chip on her shoulder after whatever happened with Sophie’s father—assuming he’s not in the picture—but she didn’t. That much I can see from the little time I’ve spent with her.
I mean, sure, maybe she’s a little distrustful of men, and maybe she’s scared of relationships, but I get the feeling it’s because she wears her heart on her sleeve, not because she’s bitter about the things she’s had to sacrifice to get to where she is. And that makes her even more attractive than I could ever imagine.
Hell, Graham is right. I do have it bad for this chick, and the crazy part is I’ve only known her for a week.
Do you still want her, knowing all it entails?
“Yes,” I answer, and the fist inside my chest loosens, my mood lifts.
I don’t care who the father is or whether she has a daughter. I still want Lane Turner all the same.