Chapter 45
45
DARYA
“ R oman still not home?”
Evening has fallen when Abby joins me on the terrace. Masha is upstairs with Papa and Rosa. Ofelia is in her room. Mickey is somewhere with Lars and Alexei, staring at a computer screen. They seem to all speak the same language, one even Roman is excluded from.
“No.” I take the peppermint tea she offers me gratefully. “I think he might... need some time to himself after today.”
“I can’t believe it was Yuri all this time. Or Vera, rather. Dimitry told me,” she adds, seeing my discomfort. “But don’t worry. I won’t let it slip to the children.”
“Thanks.” I tilt my head to hers briefly. “I don’t think they need to know, or not yet, at least. They’ve had more than enough to deal with.”
“Not the greatest wedding present.”
I laugh softly. “It’s just our life, Abs. I know it must seem crazy to most people. But I was raised in the middle of it. It isn’t crazy to me. It’s just... life.” I shrug. “Brutal. Dark, sometimes. But also proud. And loving.”
“You’re at home in it.”
I turn to find Abby looking at me, her blue eyes dark. “This world,” she adds. “You’re comfortable in it, even knowing how dangerous and unpredictable it can be?”
“Yes,” I say. “I guess I am. I’m not sure how good I’d be at the life most people lead. In all the years I lived on the outside, I never really felt like I belonged there. Sometimes I’d meet a man, go for a drink. I’d always wondered what that would be like, to have the freedom to date a normal guy, without security guards all around me and my father vetting his entire family. But the truth was, when I spent time with those men, it never felt right.”
“Why?” She stares out over the low stone wall, sipping her wine as the Spanish night comes alive around us. Below, the ground lights turn the holm oaks into a fantasy forest, spread out beneath the high southern stars. I take Abby’s hand and lead her over to the chairs, waiting until she’s seated before answering her. Something tells me she is asking about more than just my experience.
“Do you remember that British guy, Oliver, who asked me out for a drink when I first started working at the café?”
Abby nods. “Lacoste guy.”
I laugh. “Yep. Lacoste guy. Well, I was sitting at this beachside bar he took me to, sipping a glass of wine. We were talking, the sun was setting; it was all going well. Then all of a sudden, a car backfired in the street beside us.”
“Oh, shit.” She looks sideways at me.
“Yep.” I wrap my hands around my teacup and stare out across the valley. “Oliver didn’t miss a beat. I don’t think he would have even noticed the noise if I hadn’t been so startled that I leaped up from my seat, tipping my glass over. While he was laughing and calling me cute, I was scanning every face for danger and trying to find the fastest exit. I didn’t even stay until the end of my glass of wine. I realized that if there had been any real danger, Oliver would have had no chance of helping me. He’d have probably been casualty number one, to be honest. I guess that was the day I realized that normal guys weren’t ever really going to be an option for me.”
“But isn’t it a self-fulfilling prophecy?” Abby is frowning, staring out at the night. “Like if you date danger, then danger finds you. What if you just choose not to put yourself in that environment in the first place?”
“I’m not sure how that works. I never had that option. I was born into the bratva.” I shrug. “It’s all I’ve ever known. And no matter what I do, I know that world will always find me. I guess in the end I’ve learned to embrace it, rather than trying to outrun it.” I turn to her. “But you weren’t born into it, Abs,” I say quietly. “And if you want to walk away from it, you have every right to do that. What happened at Pillars would have rocked anyone.”
She shakes her head. “It isn’t what happened at Pillars,” she says slowly. “It goes back a lot further than that. And I’m not sure I can walk away, any more than you can.” Her eyes slide to mine, then away. She pours another glass of wine.
I wait.
“Six years ago,” she says eventually, “I wound up in a Colombian prison.”
I’m so taken aback, I almost fall off my chair. “You wound up... wow. What happened? You don’t have to talk about it,” I add hastily. “It’s totally up to you.”
“No. It’s fine.” Abby sips her wine. “I don’t even know why I never told you, especially after everything you confided to me. I guess... I was ashamed, I think. I mean, your past is pretty glam, you know? Russian royalty, more or less. Hidden treasures and deathly secrets.” She smiles ruefully. “Mine’s a lot less fascinating, and a lot more predictable. Dumb, rebellious kid runs off with an unsuitable boyfriend against parental advice. Realizes early on she’s made a mistake, but isn’t ready to admit it, to herself or anyone else. Gets deeper and deeper into the mistake, until she suddenly realizes she’s neck-deep in an illegal cocaine operation that stretches from Colombia to Thailand and Australia.”
“Oh, Abby.” I cover her hand with my own. “I’m so sorry. And I’m so sorry that I didn’t know.”
“How could you?” She lifts her shoulders and opens her hands, then lets them drop again. “I never told you. I never told anyone, not even my family. I didn’t want my face splashed all over the Australian newspapers. I could just see the headline: ‘Amphetamine Abby: How an Aussie Farm Girl Traded Cattle for Cartels.’”
“Abby!” I’m laughing despite myself. It’s typical of my beautiful friend that even when she’s telling the story of her own downfall, she has to make it humorous. She’s laughing too, but she sobers quickly.
“Anyway. The end result was that my boyfriend tried to cheat the wrong people. He got dead; I got prison. And eventually, I got out of prison because I made a deal with the people my boyfriend cheated. Then I ran like hell and didn’t stop until I got to Spain.”
“God, you poor thing.” I squeeze her hand, resisting the urge to go around and hug her. I know Abby well enough to know hugs aren’t really her style, not when she’s like this. “I wish I’d known. That I could have helped somehow. All this time, we were both running, and I never even knew.”
“I never told anyone, until Dimitry.” Her eyes cloud over. “He knew something was up the moment I pointed out the Colombians in Pillars that night. It also didn’t help that Lance fucking Ryder had gotten a hint of the story. That prick has way too much time on his hands,” she says, looking rather fierce. “He didn’t know everything, but he knew enough to be dangerous.”
“I’m glad you told him.”
“Yeah, well.” Abby purses her lips. “The thing is, Dimitry thinks he’s fucking invincible.” She gives me a sideways look. “I know you guys are Russian, bratva hard-asses and all that. But you don’t know what the Colombians are like, Darya. Believe me when I say they’re every bit as dangerous as the Russians. And they never forget a betrayal.”
“Wait.” I look directly at her. “Do you mean you think they’re still after you? I thought you said you made a deal?”
“I made a deal with the previous head of the cartel.” She runs a hand over her face. “He’s dead now. His son has taken over. It was the son my boyfriend actually cheated, hiding a stack of cocaine and lying about it. I told the father where to find some of it, but not all.” She shrugs. “I don’t know where the rest of it is. But the son never believed that. And even if he did, he has never forgiven the fact that my boyfriend embarrassed him. Those men who came into Pillars with Miguel, way back at the start of all this... they’re part of that same cartel. I’m pretty sure one of them recognized me. Which means it’s only a matter of time before someone comes looking for me. That’s why I had to tell Dimitry. I was worried that he’d put a bullet through the wrong person and end up in the middle of my mess. I still am worried about that.”
I nod, processing what she’s said. “So you’re not worried about being in danger because of Dimitry’s world,” I say tentatively. “You’re worried about drawing him into yours?”
“God, I don’t even know anymore.” Abby takes a large mouthful of wine. “His world, my world—they’re both just a shit show.”
“So that’s why you’re going home? To give yourself a bit of breathing space?”
She takes another mouthful, and a long time to answer. “I haven’t been home since the day I ran off,” she says eventually. “I sent my parents a postcard from Thailand a week after I landed there. All it said was, Never coming back .” She shoots me a rueful look. “I know, right? Super mature. After that, I never contacted them again. At first, I was just being stubborn. Then things got messy. Later, I was in prison, and there was no way I was dragging them into that fuckup. My super-conservative, sweet country parents from small-town Australia? No way in hell was I bringing them into any of this. And then, afterward, it just seemed too late. Too complicated. I guess I just thought they were better off without me.”
“For six years? ” I try and fail not to let my shock show. “Abby, there’s no parent in the world who wants to lose their child for six years. I promise you that.”
“I know.” She glances at me. “Since I’ve seen you guys, the way you all are together... it’s made me realize how precious family is. And Dimitry, he’s never even had a family. I know I have to go home.” She meets my eyes. “I’m just not sure I can bring Dimitry home with me,” she says quietly. “I’m not sure how those two worlds meet, or even if I want them to. I can’t imagine Dimitry there, amid cattle feed and branding, any more than I can imagine my mother knowing that her daughter used to deal cocaine. I also don’t know if I can just go home to that world, go back to being the daughter they lost. But Dimitry is going to be busy for a while now, leading this task force to return all the stuff from the vault, so I guess there’s never been a better time for me to find out. So—home I go. And I guess I’ll find out if Abby Connelly can become Abigail Chalmers again.”
“Wait.” I stare at her in astonishment. “You mean you’ve been using a fake name all this time?”
She rolls her eyes. “I mean, it’s not quite Lucia fucking Lopez, but yes. I have. That’s why I never registered for residency here. My fake isn’t quite the same standard as yours, unfortunately.”
“Oh, sweet lord.” I sit back in my chair, shaking my head, and then I start to laugh.
Once I start, I can’t stop.
My laughter spirals, and after a minute, Abby snorts out her wine, which makes me laugh even more. Then we’re both doubled over, howling with laughter until we’re both weak.
“Oh, Abs.” I straighten up, wiping my eyes. “We are the most ridiculous pair ever.”
“And you’re also my best friend in this entire world.” She grips my hand, hilarity fading to seriousness. “I mean it, Darya. You’re literally the only person who knows who I truly am. I don’t ever want to lose that, no matter what decisions I make.”
“You won’t.” I stand up and walk around the table, pulling her into a hug. We stay like that for a long time. “I don’t care where you go or what you do, Abs,” I whisper in her ear. “Just promise me you won’t disappear.”
She kisses my cheek. “I promise.” Then she steps back and holds my face. “And I’m not going anywhere until after I see Roman put that ring on your finger. I threw Molotov cocktails at Russian vor . I’m pretty sure I’ve earned my bridesmaid’s dress.”