Chapter 4
Four
Hayden
I wanted to pick Olivia up from her place, actually I wanted dad to drive me, but her dad said no. I was just happy he was letting her come with me, so I didn't want to push the topic.
Mom said I need to wear a suit, but I was not going to do that, the best she was getting from me was a pair of trousers and a buttoned up shirt. She wasn’t too happy, but dad told her to leave me alone.
“She’ll be her, will you stop bouncing your leg.” My dad places his hand on my leg to stop me. “I have a question; well your mother has a question.” I look across to the kitchen at mom leaning on the counter. “You and Olivia—”
“Just friends dad. Best friends, and that’s it.” I hadn’t thought about anything like that, I’m thirteen why would they think anything else. “Plus, she thinks unicorns are real, and she reads so much, which is boring.” I stand up when the doorbell sounds, and mom goes to get the door.
“Olivia, you look beautiful.” I hear my mom and wipe my hands over my trousers.
Why am I so nervous?
“Thank you, Mrs. Crawford,” I hear her reply, and then I see her wearing a baby pink dress and her smile is so big. “Hayden, I’m so excited to meet your friends today, and I have so much to tell you about the book.” She looks over at my dad and says hello then turns back to me.
I did ask her why she had to wait, and she said they had to pay for other things first, and she was just happy her dad was going to buy it for her when he could.
“But if you listened to how good the book is getting, you’d enjoy it. I know you would. He’s a wizard—”
“I know he's a wizard, you tell me every day. You need to read something else.” She pushes me a little and shakes her head.
“I’ve read a lot of books, and you don’t like any of them. I even told you about the book which made me cry and you laughed.” She pushes her finger into my arm. “It was a heartbreaking story.” I can’t even remember the name of the book, something with stars in the title.
“And I told you, when you start reading books which have some fighting or something, I might want to know more.” I pick up the bag and hand it over to her. She takes it from me but doesn’t look inside it.
“How was practice, did you get hurt?” she asks.
“It was good, it won’t be long until you know all about hockey, I bet you’ll start reading about it too,” I joke, and she nods because I know she’s asked her dad to get her a book. Hockey for Dummies. “Open the bag.” I point to it, and she does.
Taking out the daisy, she smiles as she smells it, then hands it to her dad, before looking back into the bag. “Are you trying to make me fat?” she questions when she takes out the unicorn cupcake.
“You’ll never be fat,” I tell her. She eats so many cookies and now cupcakes because I’ll give her one most days.
She takes out the last thing in the bag and looks at me.
“I think you’ll like it.” I smile at her because I know her well enough.
She rips the paper off it, bursts out laughing, and shakes her head at me.
“Now when you read to me, at least I’ll be interested. ”
“So, you don’t listen when I tell you about all my other books?” She asks, and now I laugh at her.
“I listen, but this one I'll be interested in.” I take the book from her and point to the cover. “Plus, maybe by listening to you I can get better, because it has tips on how to improve your game.” I got her a book about hockey, so she'll know what's happening when she watches me play.
“Are you going to this dance or argue about—” My dad stops and looks between us.
“Whatever it is you two are arguing over—”
“We’re not arguing.” We both reply at the same time, and both my parents and Olivia’s dad laugh at us both.
Ignoring them all, I put my arm over her shoulder, and we walk toward the front door. “You know I think this should be your next read when you come over tomorrow. I’ll get popcorn ready.”
“Salted?”
“Who likes salted popcorn? Weird people like it. Sweet popcorn is the way to go; there shouldn’t be anything else.” Sometimes I wonder how we’re friends, because she has funny ways which I don’t understand. Salted popcorn. Is she crazy?
“I’ll bring my own—”
“No, you won’t. I’ll have some for you, just because you’re a freak, doesn’t mean I won’t get it for you.”
“We can mix them.” Olivia's voice changes to a high pitch with her idea.
“What? No one does that!” I shout. I think this has to be the craziest idea she’s ever had.
“We can try it.” She asks and tilts her head a little to the side.
“Fine, we can try it, but it’s going to taste like dirt.” I look over at my dad. “Dad, you coming?” I ask him, and then open the door for Olivia. “We’re going to dance so much our feet will be hurting tomorrow.”
Present Day
I stare out the window, looking at the treehouse. I wanted to get rid of it, but Dad kept saying I would regret it one day. I had to laugh. Why the hell would I regret not seeing that tree every fucking day.
I hate it, hate remembering sitting on the grass, hate how we laughed in the tree house. I hate everything about it.
I should have cut the fucking tree down.
I get off the bed, throw the last of my things into my bag, ready to go back to school. Looking up at the door, I smile at Mom. I knew there was going to be a moment she'd come to talk to me. I just didn’t think she was going to wait until the day I went back.
“All ready? The twins are done, but I’m sure they’ve forgotten the important things.” She laughs to herself, and I walk over to my bathroom to get a few other things I need. “How are you?”
“I’m good. It’s only five months, I think I’ve been through worse.
” I joke, and the look on my mom’s face tells me she doesn’t think it’s funny.
I joke sometimes about what happened, but she never finds the funny side of it.
Neither do I, if I’m honest. But if I can’t joke about it, it would make me go crazy.
“Hayden,” she snarls at me, and I tell her I’m sorry. “I know it’s only five months, but a lot can happen in that time.” She walks closer to me and starts folding some of my clothes to put in the bag. “You’ve been getting into fights every day since you started college—”
“Every day, really mom?” I have to question her. I know I’ve been in fights, but not every day. “Plus, they deserve it, all they had to do was stay out of my way, they didn’t.” If I see them when I get back, I’m happy to beat the crap out of them.
“I know, I worry. You know I worry.” She can’t even look at me now, and I wrap my arms around her.
“Nothing to worry about mom, it’s been a few years now, I’m in a better place.”
“Liar.” She pushes away from me a little. “You’ve pushed it all to the back, you fight them because it takes out the anger, but you'll see her, and I’m scared what it’ll do to you.”
I don’t answer because I have no idea what to say to reassure her that everything will be okay, because if I’m honest, I have no idea if it will. I keep telling myself it will be okay. It's been three years, yet the hate only builds, like a fire in the pit of my stomach.
“Are we having family lunch before we go?” I change the subject. “I need some food if I’m stuck in the car with dumb and dumber.” Mom starts laughing and shakes her head at me.
“I still don’t understand why you don’t stay here; college is less than thirty minutes away.”
“Mom, do you really want me to answer that?” I laugh out loud.
When I started college, Mom and Dad got us a three bedroom house close to campus.
They said the twins will be starting soon, so we can be together.
Lucky for my parents, us brothers are tight, and will always be there for each other no matter what.
So, I didn’t mind, plus it was somewhere for me to be when things got too much at school.
Mom thinks I get into a lot of fights. If only she knew Mason is worse than me, but I’ll let her worry about one son at a time.
Mom places her hand on my cheek and just stares at me for a moment. “I wish I could have protected you; I wouldn’t have lost a part of my son.”
“I know mom, but in a way it’s made me better for the family business, in a fucked up way. I wish it didn’t happen either.” Zipping up my bag, I follow my mom out of my bedroom, because she doesn’t know what to say to me.
No one ever does. Dad tries, the twins try. Declan is the one I seem to be able to talk to better than the others, especially after the summer he had. I feel like we both went through the same thing, but in different ways.
It’s only going to be five months. I have to keep telling myself that I only have to get through five months, and I’ll never have to see them again.
If only I could just make myself happy and kill the fucker who messed up everything. I wonder if there's a way I could make it happen without the finger being pointed at me, because after three years of fighting with them, I would be on the top of the list.
I’m sure I can think of something.