Chapter 21
Twenty-One
Hayden
The room feels too cold. Or maybe it's me.
I sit here, suit jacket tight around my shoulders, my collar choking me like it knows what’s coming before I do. I can't hear much, just the dull hum of voices and papers shuffling. Everything’s a blur. This is the day I’ve been dreading; verdict day.
Yet, all I can think is she’s not here.
She should be here. If she’s going to ruin my life and fucking end it, she should have the goddamn decency to look me in the eye while she does it.
My lawyer leans close, voice low, calm, the kind of calm you get trained for, not the kind you actually feel.
“She’s not going to testify. Again. I’m going to bring it up. The judge won’t like it, but he has to acknowledge it.”
I nod once, but it’s hollow. Useless. This court has already decided what it wants from me. The moment Olivia’s lawyer said she can’t face me because it’s too hard for her, they made their choice about my life.
I look to the left, my mother’s eyes are rimmed red, her hand white-knuckled around Dad’s. My father hasn’t looked away from me once. His jaw is tight, his knee bouncing.
He believes me. They all do, my brothers have been here every day and that’s what’s going to make this worse. We all know the truth, but it’s not going to save me.
The bailiff’s voice cuts through the static in my brain.
“All rise.”
We do.
My legs feel like they’re made of lead.
The judge enters, his robe dragging behind him like some medieval executioner, and he’s mine. The jury files in next, every one of them looking anywhere but at me. That tells me everything I need to know.
My lawyer clears his throat and stands. “Your Honor, before we proceed, may I remind the court once again that the alleged victim, Miss Olivia Banks, has not appeared for questioning at any point during this trial—”
The judge waves a hand sharply. “Counselor, we’ve been over this.”
“With all due respect, Your Honor, the absence of Miss Banks has severely handicapped our ability to cross-examine. The entire case is hearsay and medical reports—”
“Miss Banks’s doctor submitted a certified psychological evaluation. She has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, and her mental health could suffer irreparably if she were forced to face Mr. Crawford in this room.”
I open my mouth. I don’t care what they think about decorum or respect anymore.
“She can destroy my life with a sentence,” I say, voice tight, “but she can’t even look at me while she does it?”
“Mr. Crawford,” the judge warns.
“I didn’t touch her,” I snap. “I didn’t—”
“Mr. Crawford!” The gavel slams once, echoing like a bullet in the room. My mother flinches.
The judge sighs and leans forward, eyes narrowing like I’m already nothing more than a number in a cell. “The court is satisfied with the evidence presented. Olivia Banks’s testimony is preserved in sworn written statements and confirmed by her attending physicians. That is sufficient.”
Sufficient.
That’s all it takes to end a man’s future. A piece of paper.
The jury foreperson rises. My breath sticks in my throat.
“In the matter of the State versus Hayden Crawford… on the charge of rape in the first degree…” She doesn’t look at me either. “…we find the defendant—” My stomach drops before the words even land. My lungs clamp shut. I already know.
“…guilty.”
My world shatters in a single syllable.
I don’t breathe. I can’t breathe. The blood rushes to my ears, and everything goes red. Red like rage. Red like shame. Red like the future they’ve stolen from me. She’s stolen from me.
My mother’s hand flies to her mouth. My father stands so quickly the bench rocks.
“No, no—” I shake my head, trying to say the words, trying to make them understand. “I didn’t do this. I didn’t do anything.”
A guard steps beside me. His hand’s on my shoulder already.
“I’m going to miss graduation,” I whisper, blinking stupidly. “I was—”
“Hayden—” my mom’s crying now, reaching across the divide between the gallery and the defense table, but I can’t hear her anymore.
I jerk away from the guard. “I never touched her!”
The judge bangs the gavel again.
“I would never rape her!” My voice breaks, raw, cracked open like glass. “I loved her. I’ve loved her since I was fourteen! I would’ve died for her!”
The courtroom explodes in noise, my dad shouting, the bailiff shouting, someone grabbing me by the arm, my lawyer begging me to stop. But it’s too late. Everything is too late.
I shout again, louder this time. “I LOVED HER! I DIDN’T TOUCH HER! I SWEAR TO GOD—”
They drag me back down into the chair. I feel the cold press of steel against my wrists.
And for the first time in my life, I’m not angry.
I’m nothing, because the girl I loved more than my own name just let the world believe I’m a monster, and I don’t think I’ll ever breathe right again.
Present Day
I want to be down there and punch the fucker in the face. Why is he here? Why is he looking at her? Cain called us to his office to talk, and from the moment I walked in, I’ve been standing here watching her. Should I be watching her? No, but I can’t take my eyes off her.
She smiles at the customers; the same smile she used to give me when I used to say something which made her blush.
I’ve been watching her every movement, the way she tilts her head slightly because she’s nervous when one of the men starts talking to her.
The way her hand reaches for her necklace to calm her when someone touches her hand as she places the drink on the bar for them.
And then you have him, Leo. Every time he looks at her I want to kill him. She’s avoiding him as much as she can, asking one of the other staff members to serve him, but he’s still walking around to be closer to her.
A bouncer has his eyes on him, so I know if he makes the wrong move, he'll step in, but he shouldn’t be there in the first place.
“I thought I said if she’s working, then don’t call me.” I need to stay away from her. The more I see her the more I want to be around her. I want to kiss her again. I want to fuck her so fucking bad. God I want to do so many things to her it’s starting to become painful.
“I needed to talk, and she works most days.” I hear Cain behind me.
“And him?” Cain doesn’t even walk to the window to see who I’m talking about. He knows the story between the three of us.
“I have two men watching him, and Lincoln is watching Oliv—”
“Why?”
I know I told Cain I don’t care and not to tell me anything, but something is happening for him to have men on Leo.
“He’s just been a little too close to her, I’m watching it,” Cain tells me.
Not replying to him, I continue to watch her. She should have been mine, she should have been standing next to me, ready to have everything. The wedding, the babies, I wanted it all with her.
“So why have you summoned us?” Miles jokes, and I listen to the conversation behind me, as I continue to watch Olivia working behind the bar. She’s moving around the bar as if she’s been working here for years, and I smile. She was always good at becoming the best at what she put her mind to.
“Hayden, how is the target?” Cain asks.
“Good, I’m going to watch him for two more days, then I’ll take the shot.” Keeping my eyes on Olivia, glancing at Leo who is staring at Olivia while laughing with his friends.
“Good, there will be another hit ready—”
“When do I get to have fun?” Mason snaps, and I laugh.
“You had someone in the basement four days ago, and he lost a few teeth, and a fucking eye.” I finally turn around to look at him, and Mason has the craziest smile on his face. Crazy fucker.
“And I think I did a good job and should get to play again.” Mason looks at Cain who shakes his head at him.
“I’ve created a monster.” He walks behind his table laughing to himself.
“You’re calling me a monster, look in the mirror first,” Mason jokes which does make me laugh, walking over to the desk I sit down, and watch Cain for a moment.
“You okay?” I ask him.
“Yes, I’ve got a headache.” He stares at me for a moment. “I found a few things, it’s all here if you want it.” He throws a file on the desk, and I feel it there, my eyes are locked on it.
Walking back over to the window, I watch Olivia making drinks for a group of women, I look around for Leo, he's still hovering around Olivia. I’m not sure what game he is playing with her, but I don’t trust him around her.
Smiling at the women, she moves to the next order, then walks around the bar with a tray full of drinks, and Leo’s watching her.
Something’s wrong. I don’t know how I know but I can feel it, I just do. That gut-deep instinct Cain taught us to listen to when we were training. It’s screaming at me now.
I walk away from the window, and stride straight out of the office, not bothering to close the door behind me.
“Hayden,” Cain calls from behind.
“Where the hell are you going?” Mason yells.
I don’t answer. I’m already heading down the stairs, my eyes scanning the floor below until I spot her.
Olivia.
She’s carrying a tray of drinks, weaving between tables with that damn sexy smile. But she’s not alone. Leo, fucking Leo is trailing behind her, eyes locked on her like he owns her. I’m not letting him hurt her again, I shouldn’t care, I know I shouldn’t, but here I fucking am.
My fists clench as I keep walking, each step faster hoping to get there quicker.
She places the drinks down and turns to head back to the bar, but Leo grabs her wrist. Her whole body jerks slightly. I see her try to pull away, she slaps his hand as she fights out of his grip, but he doesn’t let go. He says something I can’t hear, then shoves her. Not hard. But enough.
She stumbles, and when she tries to push him back, she can’t because he’s blocking her.
I see the bouncers finally moving, but it’s already too fucking late, he touched her, he’s playing games with her. Fucking asshole.