THIRTY FOUR
I couldn't keep it to myself any longer, but I didn't know how to break the ice. The ice that seemed so impossible to crack. What could I possibly say to make the conversation and situation less stressful?
"You haven't touched your food," Nicolas said, staring at me intently while setting his whiskey glass onto the counter. "What's the matter?" The sound of his glass clinking against the granite surface made me shiver.
The thought of eating nauseated me. My stomach churned as I poked my vegetables. I shook my head to indicate nothing was wrong. I was stalling, dragging out the inevitable.
I should've known better than to lie to him, though. He always knew when I wasn't being truthful. "Gabriella," he said sternly, resting his forearms on the countertop. "You haven't spoken much, you're not eating. What's wrong ?" The last two words were spoken in the calmest manner, but the underlying danger was evident.
"Nothing—"
I couldn't even finish my sentence before he spoke. "I swear to God, if you're going to say nothing I'm going to lose my mind. I'm not in the mood for this tonight."
I released a soft sigh, mentally preparing myself to share the vital piece of information with him. "My period is late." He was about to take a sip of his alcohol, but his hand stopped mid-air.
He blinked a few times, holding the glass tightly. The ice cubes hit the perimeter of the glass when he tilted it slightly, the sound almost deafening in the quiet space. "What?"
"It's been a week since I was supposed to get my last period." Nicolas' face was expressionless. His eyes never leaving my face.
"Are you serious?" he asked calmly. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them.
"I know I should've told you sooner, but—"
"So what does this mean?" he questioned. "You think you're pregnant?" His harsh, condescending tone of voice had bile rising in my throat.
"I'm not sure," I answered, fiddling with my fingers.
“Have you taken a pregnancy test?” I’ve never heard him speak to me in this manner before. His tone turned ice cold in the matter of seconds.
“No. I wanted to consult with you first.” My throat had become extremely dry and I pushed my plate forward. The tension in the space surrounding us was extremely thick, it was so bad, it felt like I was on the verge of choking.
“Fuck’s sake, Gabriella." He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily.
"You don't seem too thrilled about it."
"Of course I'm not thrilled about it. Do you really think now's the time to have children given the circumstances?" I couldn’t believe his reaction. All the times he’s talked about breeding me, wanting to see me carry his children. Instead of being supportive, he wanted to remind me of the terrible situation at hand that’s been plaguing me since he shared the information with me.
"For someone who's always fucking me raw and begging me to take all of their come, I'm surprised this even bothers you." I pushed the chair back and got up. "Pregnancies are inevitable if you're having sex, especially if it's unprotected."
"Gabriella," Nicolas called after me. "Always walking away. I see that's your solution to problems. If things get too heated for you, you're ready to run," he spat bitterly.
I stopped dead in my tracks, slowly turning to face him. "I'm not running away, I was simply
going to my room," I bit back.
"Going to your room in the midst of a conversation?" He slowly stalked towards me. "Does that seem logical to you?"
"You're talking to me about logical ? You've been filling me up with your come yet you're shocked that my period is late."
"Watch your mouth," He warned.
"Or what? You're supposed to be comforting me, not making me feel bad for something I have no control over. If anything, you should be taking responsibility because it takes two to tango,” I said angrily.
“I know how sex works, Gabriella, you're not the first woman I've fucked." My jaw fell slack and I blinked slowly, unable to grasp what Nicolas just said. "I'm not going to do this with you. I need a damn drink."
“Excuse me?” I walked closer to him. “There’s absolutely no need for you to be disrespectful.”
“I wasn’t being disrespectful,” he said, his voice and facial expression void of any emotion. “I just stated a fact.”
“Go to hell,” I responded swiftly. “You were wrong for that disgusting response.” That emotionless expression faltered for a few seconds as he gaped at me.
I didn’t bother participating in a stare down and walked towards my room. I thought I’d reach my room, but Nicolas easily caught up to me, pushing me against the wall.
He placed both hands on either side of my face, scowling at me. “Don’t push me.”
“Push you?” I scoffed. “Your response told me everything I needed to know about you. You claim I’m the one who runs away, yet you’re so quick to turn into a complete asshole who flights when one little issue arises.”
“What are you saying, Gabriella?” he asked angrily, his deep voice nearly slicing through my skin.
“I’m not saying anything.” I tried pushing him away, but the man wouldn’t budge. “Get away from me. Go drink yourself to a drunken mess, why don’t you?”
He looked down at where my hand was placed on his chest. “Before I say something that I’ll most likely regret, I think I will get myself a fucking drink.” His imposing figure retreated, all of the warmth and anger that surrounded me was now non-existent.
He walked towards the kitchen area, grabbing his keys off the counter. He didn’t say anything else, and before I could register what was happening, he opened the front door, closed it behind him, and slammed it shut.
The photo frames on my walls shook slightly and I sighed softly. I heard his car being turned on and in seconds, he reversed out of my driveway and sped down the street.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and I could feel the tears coming on, but I refused to cry. This is exactly what I feared. Getting close to someone, putting your trust in them, opening yourself up, and displaying your heart to them on a damn plate.
For him to react in such a negative manner for something that I didn't even plan to happen. I wasn't even certain if I was pregnant or not. This reaction told me everything I needed to know.
I felt hurt, angry, and disappointed.
I wouldn't have been in this predicament if we had safe sex, but I allowed him to penetrate me without any form of protection. It was deeper than that, though, he penetrated my soul. He had me under his spell.
"You shouldn't have said that to her. That's fucked up," Kayden scoffed. "And quite frankly, it's disrespectful."
"I know." I sipped on the beer, grimacing when the disgusting liquid hit my tongue. "I fucked up, but the news through me off guard and I've been on edge."
"You shouldn't take your frustrations out on her, she hasn't done anything wrong. In fact, you should praise her for putting up with your bullshit. Not to mention the fact that she's on a drug dealer’s radar because they know they'll get to you if they get to her," he said calmly but menacingly.
"You don't have to remind me," I huffed.
"No, I should remind you because I think you're forgetting." Kayden was the type of man who didn't like it when men disrespected women. Even if you were his close friend, he'd definitely give you an earful.
What I said to her wasn't disrespectful per se, but it was definitely hurtful. "I should go, I need to apologize to her."
"Damn straight you need to apologize," he muttered, eyeing the beer in my hand. "I'm glad you didn't drink any whiskey or else I would've had to drive your ass home."
"Even if I drank whiskey, I'm not a lightweight." I took the last swig of beer, threw my jacket back on, and got up. "I'll be just fine and I can drive myself. I don't need a chauffeur."
"Get out of my sight, Nicolas." His tone held a hint of mockery to it and I knew he was joking. Just as I was about to walk past him, he placed his hand on my shoulder and stopped me. "You need to think before you speak. When you're speaking to Ares and I, you can say whatever the hell you want, but when it comes to that woman, you need to maintain a level of respect."
I turned to look at him. My friends were the only people who could lecture me and I'd actually take what they were saying into consideration. In this case, I'd actually implement his words in my life because he was right.
"I hear you and I'll do better, now get your hands off me. Friend or not, I'll use force if I have to." He only smirked, patting me on the shoulder. I shrugged my jacket back on, quickly heading towards the exit of the bar and stepping into the cold evening air.
The gush of wind hit me directly in the face and I shivered slightly. I stood in the cold for a few minutes, looking up at the night sky. The stars sparkled brightly, the shimmering lights reminding me of her. It sparkled, glowed, and the longer you looked at it, the more you appreciated the sight.
I shoved both hands into my jacket pockets and groaned softly. I couldn’t head to her house right now because anger still simmered beneath the surface. She was feisty, a force to be reckoned with, so I knew we’d most likely clash if I tried to resolve the issue right now.
I shook my head, clicking the button on the car remote to unlock the vehicle. I needed an outlet. I needed to release this tension and frustration. The only thing that would bring some form of relief right now would be riding my motorcycle. Riding until I surpassed the speed limit. Until it felt like I’d lost control. Until my body began tingling and feeling numb.
Numbness. That’s what would help me right now. Numbness. Darkness. Chaos.