THIRTY NINE
T he doctor examined my entire body, asking me where the pain was most prominent. It was definitely the rib area since they kicked me with combat boots. Not once, not even twice. I think I lost count and blacked out at one point.
"Luckily, you don't have any broken bones, but you'll most likely experience some bruising over the next few days. Take the recommended dose of medication given, and if the pain persists, don't hesitate to let Nicolas know so that I can arrange for a scan."
The doctor also put a Band-Aid on the cut on my forehead that was caused by the heavy gun that pierced my skin.
I nodded. Nicolas stood against the wall, arms folded and watched the interaction intently. He frowned, his eyebrows creasing. He seemed to be deep in thought and extremely pissed.
Though his eyes gave away his concern. He seemed really worried and it stirred feelings deep inside of me. The doctor finished up, spoke to Nicolas for a few minutes, and then left.
My body trembled slightly and I glanced at the window, the sound of the trees moving in the wind startled me. The shadows peeked through the blinds in his room and I clutched the sheet tightly.
When he entered the room, he must've noticed my demeanour and immediately rushed over to me. He still wore his black gloves and removed the one on his right hand before caressing my cheek.
"Look at me," he said softly. His voice was a gentle caress in the darkness, embracing me with comfort and safety. I swallowed the lump in my throat, my eyes flicking to his. "How are you feeling?"
"I've been better." I smiled as he swiped his thumb against the cut on my lip. "How are you feeling?"
"I don't want to talk about me right now. I need to make sure you're okay." He frowned. "My strong, beautiful girl."
I released a soft breath, leaning into his touch. I held onto his forearm, closing my eyes and allowing myself to fully submerge myself in him. I could trust him, wholeheartedly. He searched for me, found me, saved me.
Nicolas sat down next to me, gently cupping the back of my head and placed his forehead on mine. "I promise I'll never allow anything to happen to you ever again. You were so brave," he whispered. "I love you so much."
His confession nearly made my heart stop beating completely. My body stilled and I almost couldn't comprehend the words he just uttered. "I'm so sorry for my reaction to our last conversation. It was uncalled for and unacceptable." His voice cracked. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life."
Suddenly, he moved from the bed and got down onto his knees in front of me. "Nico," I whispered. "What are you doing?"
He grabbed a hold of both hands, lowering his head into my lap. "I wasn't a man of God." He held my hand tightly, laying everything out on the table.
I watched him intently, squeezing his hand gently.
"But I am now. I thank God for you every single day and I prayed that I found you safe and sound tonight. Because if anything happened to you, I would've been broken. I would've been a shell of myself, I would've destroyed everyone and everything . I'd burn the world for you. Hell, I'd burn it and rebuild it if that's what you wanted. I'd give you the heavens and the Earth. Just to see you smile, just to make you happy, just to make sure you're safe."
Say something, my subconscious urged me. I exhaled shakily, manoeuvring my hand underneath his chin to lift his head up. Slowly but surely, he glanced at me, our eyes connecting in the dimly lit room.
My heart pounded rapidly against my ribcage. "I love you more," I said softly, watching as his face and eyes softened. "More than you'll ever know. Intimacy, commitment, and vulnerability are things I've been afraid of, but I'd happily face those fears for you. Even my fear of spiders."
He laughed at the last comment. I slid off the bed, sitting beside him on the floor, wincing slightly when I felt the sharp pain in the side of my abdomen. "What happened tonight wasn't your fault. You know that, right?"
He pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around my neck. "They hurt you." His voice cracked.
"I'm alive."
"You're alive, but they hurt you. They fucked with what's mine and I'm going to rectify that," he said darkly. "Tonight, my main focus is you. I want to make sure you're okay and that you've got everything you need. Tomorrow morning, however, I'll be handling some business. I already told Amala and Kehlani that they'd need to be here with you."
"Do they know what happened?"
"No, I figured you'd want to tell them." He paused. " If you're comfortable talking about it."
"I am, they're my best friends."
He nodded, getting up and holding my hand to pull me up gently. "You need to get back into bed and rest. I don't want you putting any strain on your midsection." He tucked me into bed, kissing me on the forehead. "What did the doctor say about the pregnancy results?"
"They're negative. I actually took a test before—" He released a heavy sigh and looked down. "Aren't you happy?" I frowned.
"I reacted like a complete dick and I didn't even know if you were pregnant or not." He ran a hand through his hair. "Even if it were positive, I would've been happy. I was just stressed and overwhelmed with everything going on. You have to believe me," he pleaded. "Tell me you believe me." I immediately noticed the signs.
Nicolas was experiencing a panic attack.
"I believe you." I grabbed his face. "Try to stay calm for me." He held onto my forearms, squeezing it tightly. "Nicolas," I said softly.
"Shit," he muttered, moving closer to me. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." His body trembled and the sight made my heart ache. I couldn't stand it.
"Nico." He shook his head, but I didn't stop. "Focus on me," I reassured him. "Remember when you helped me through my little anxious episode? Deep breaths, in and out."
He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing. He obliged and I nodded. "Good. See? It's helping. Try to do it again." His hands trembled slightly. "You're doing so good," I encouraged him.
Life had a tendency of constantly showing us that the tables could turn at any moment. Just a few seconds ago he was comforting me, and now I had to do the same for him.
I'd happily comfort him, though. When I think back to all the moments we spent together, this man has always gone above and beyond for me. In such a short amount of time, I've fallen deeply in love with him without even realising it.
I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around him and completely ignoring the pain in my abdomen. "You're going to be okay. We're okay," I whispered.
"Be careful," he said softly, wrapping his arms around me, holding me in a firm yet gentle grip. He was extra careful not to hurt me. "Thank you, mikrí petaloúda ," he murmured, burying his face into the crook of my neck. "Thank you for everything. For helping me through this when I should've been the one comforting you. For teaching me how to love. How to be vulnerable. How to open myself up to you."
"You've done the same for me." I pulled away, looking into his eyes. "As for comfort, that's the point of a relationship, isn't it? We should rely on each other. We're in this together, you and I." His breathing had returned to normal, but he was still slightly shaky. "Even though you didn't officially ask me to be your girlfriend yet."
He scratched the back of his neck, grinning at me. "I'm not good at this. You've always been my woman though, but—" He moved me backward until my head hit the pillow and hovered above me. "Will you be mine? The word girlfriend sounds too childish for my liking, so unserious, and when it comes to you I mean business."
I laughed softly, the grey colour of his eyes seemed much darker in the dim room. "Can I think about it?"
He had me caged underneath his muscular frame with his hands on either side of my head. "Always so playful. I'll wait for you to recover, as long as it takes. Then I'll get you back for this."
"Get me back for what?" I ran my fingers through his hair, making him groan.
"For toying with my emotions." He moved closer to me. "Just so we're clear, you've always been mine and I'll make you admit it, even if it's the last thing I do."
"You know the answer is yes, you barbarian." He chuckled darkly, brushing his lips against mine.
"Can I kiss you?" Consent . That was by far the sexiest thing a man could ever ask for. "Please."
"Beg me for a kiss." His eyes darkened, his gaze dropping to my lips for a split second.
"Do you want me to beg?" he asked.
"Yes." I tugged on his hair, causing him to hiss. He looked at me with a look I hadn't ever seen before. Could it be lust? No, I've seen his lustful gaze. Perhaps love? Admiration?
"Please, sweetheart," he whispered in that deep, husky voice. "Please let me kiss you." The scent of his cologne infiltrated all of my senses. "You know I'd crawl for you if you asked me to. I'd do anything just to get a taste of these lips."
His body heat nearly melted me. Branding my skin with pure molten lava. "Again," I whispered. "Beg me again."
"Please, pretty girl." He rested his cheek on mine, whispering in my ear. "Only one kiss." My brain malfunctioned, almost lagging. "Wouldn't you like that? My lips on yours?"
"Yes," I said softly. At first, I wasn't sure he heard me, until he cupped my face and slowly connected his lips with mine. His movements were slow, intense, dizzying. We've never kissed like this before, it's like he poured all of his love into me and erased every negative feeling.
Every bad memory. Every ache. Every pain. With my eyes closed and my arms wrapped around his neck, I got lost in him. Forgetting about the world. Forgetting about everything that ever existed and solely focused on him.
He pulled away slowly, his lips brushing against mine. "I love you so damn much." I couldn't breathe, my heart nearly bursting at the seams.
"I love you more," I whispered. "I love you endlessly."