35. Thalia
Chapter thirty-five
Thalia
The afternoon sun is beginning to set over the horizon at the neutral point. It’s a field somewhere in Michigan with golden and brown crops that sprout up from the earth. The surrounding trees, oaks and maples, have brightly colored red and orange leaves that sway in the breeze as we wait silently.
Rowan is at the head of our group, his hands tucked together in front of him and a hard set to his jaw as he stares at the dirt road that will soon be habited.
Atlas is to his right, his hands shoved into the pockets of his black tactical pants as he taps a boot in the fresh soil.
Bailey is beside me, her arms crossed as we wait patiently.
I thought I would be more nervous to meet our grandfather, but all I can feel is…nothing. No sense of familiarity or respect. No hope that maybe he’ll look at us differently than our parents did. None of it.
He’s about as dead to me as the corpse in the back of Rowan’s truck is.
It’s customary to report when another branch loses a member. Since I finally ended things, Rowan made the call. The Western Branch’s leader’s only request? To see the body in person to determine if he wishes to proceed with his next course of action.
We all straighten the moment we hear two sets of tires flying across the gravel.
The first truck is something old and beaten to shit with a rusted fender.
The next is a sleek black car—something that screams old money.
Both of them pull quickly into the field, stopping a few feet away from us before both drivers exit.
Brooks adjusts his sunglasses, shoving them over his head as he leaves his truck running in the distance. Next is…
The older man is dressed in a white button-down and fixes his expensive-looking tie as his eyes scan his surroundings with the same sharpness Crystal used to possess.
His dark hair has thinned drastically over the years, creating a bald patch on the back of his head.
The massive silver watch around his wrist glints as he slams his door closed and trudges across the field with a wide gait.
“Let’s get this over with,” he orders, his voice rough with age.
I scoff, shaking my head.
“Killer,” Brooks greets with a smirk.
“Choke and die,” I flip him off.
His face falls before he nods at the blonde beside me. “Bailey—”
“Traitor,” she cuts him off.
My grandfather lifts an unimpressed brow at me. “And who are you, little one?”
I cross my arms, cocking a hip. “Your worst nightmare.”
“I doubt that.”
I give him a sickly sweet smile before turning towards Rowan’s truck and kicking the tailgate open to reveal Crystal’s remains. She’s slumped on her left side, her arm hanging limply in front of her, her eyes open, and the perfect bullet hole in her forehead.
“Let’s just say,” I muse as I squat down next to her and tilt my head at the men, “it runs in the family. Don’t you think so?”
Vincent’s jaw shifts once. “That’s all I needed to see.” He turns on his heel before stopping and motioning to Rowan. “My people will get with yours on the location. In the meantime, teach her where her place lies.”
“How about I just put you in the fucking ground now?” Rowan says easily.
Vincent laughs, the sound deep and haughty. “Don’t count on it. You kids have some big dreams.”
“I’m going to mount your head over my fucking fireplace,” Atlas smirks after them, making eye contact with Brooks.
The sly rat winks. “Bailey, if you want to wave the white flag—”
“How about I kill you instead and shove it down your throat?” She rolls her eyes.
“Very well,” he shrugs before jogging to catch up with Vincent. We stay behind, waiting for them to disappear back up the dirt road as the tension leaves with them.
Rowan hangs his head, his hands at his sides as his lips pull over his teeth. “Motherfucker!”
I get back home late, stopping in my driveway as I stare up at the second story where a single light is on. I can see Reed’s shadow in the window as he moves, and my chest constricts as my eyes water.
“You don’t have to do this, you know?” Rowan says quietly from behind me. “We can think of something else.”
My eyes screw shut as the pain pierces me. The plan is already in motion. My brother will play the biggest part in it because I’m a coward. I know I won’t be able to stand the look of betrayal on Reed’s face.
This is already gutting me deep.
I lift my head with a sniffle, drying my eyes. “No. There’s no other way.”
Rowan places a gentle hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him before he crushes me to his chest. “It doesn’t have to be permanent, Thalia—“
A broken sound leaves me, and my fingers curl tightly into his shirt. “I-I can’t be the reason he gets hurt, Row. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself…”
My brother goes rigid before resting his head on mine. “I know. I know exactly how you feel.”
I release him, swiping my tears away. “When does the train leave?”
“Tomorrow.”
“He’ll be there,” I say solemnly.
Rowan scratches the back of his neck before motioning to me. “Is there any way I can convince you not to do this? You deserve happiness too, Thal. We all do.”
I shake my head, giving him a wobbly smile that doesn’t feel right. Nothing about this feels right anymore. “I…I can’t lose him. It would kill me, Rowan. I don’t want to become—”
“Like her,” he finishes. “If you change your mind, you know where to find him.”
My deep breath is ragged and stunted as my heart shatters on the steps of my home. “I won’t.”
My brother gives me one last lingering look, his concern dragging his features down. “Just think about it, okay?”
I wave him off, trying to keep it together so I don’t worry Reed too much. But it’s hard when it feels like someone is ripping out my entire chest and sending it off to Cincinnati.
This is for the best.
He can live a normal life. Get a normal girlfriend and never have to look back.
He can be with someone who deserves him. Someone who won’t bring death to his doorstep every day. Someone who isn’t me.
I close my eyes, resting my head back against my shoulders as I breathe through the pain, but nothing can heal a shattered heart. Nothing can mend what Reed holds in his hands like it’s precious.
You were a wonderful chapter, Reed. Think of me…
One final exhale and I push through the front door.
At first, everything around me looks utterly alive and warm.
Then Reed comes down the stairs, a wide smile on his face and a bandage wrapped around his missing finger, and the whole house really becomes vibrant.
It’s his presence—his aura that’s made this place a home.
“How was the meeting?” He asks before pulling me close and kissing my forehead.
Even that slight gesture feels monumental.
Get it together. For him.
I return his smile, hiding all the pain. “Just about as good as you think it would go.”
He winces. “Grandpa wasn’t happy to see you?”
I chuckle awkwardly. “Not exactly…”
Reed stops, the mood dying as he takes my chin between his fingers and tilts my head back.
The moment I connect with his dark eyes, everything feels like it’s crumbling around me.
I want to fall into his arms and have him kiss the hurt away.
I want to keep him forever. Right where he belongs. With me.
“Hey,” he says softly, making my heart skip a beat as I try to hold back my tears. “What’s going on, baby? Talk to me.”
I slap my hands on my thighs, my lips wobbling as I tilt my head at him. “Reed…”
He shakes his head, sobering. “No, no. Don’t make this sound like it’s a death sentence. Stop, Thalia.”
I fold my arms around myself, feeling so small and vulnerable right now. “I can’t—”
He drags me into him so quickly that my head spins. His embrace tightens as he holds on for dear life, and my heart only cracks further. “Stop. We’re going to think of something, okay? Taryn and Emma said that everyone else is hiding out in Cincinnati. Come with me.”
I can’t do that, pet. Not if it means risking you or my family. I have to be there to protect my brothers, and I have to stay away to protect you.
Because I love you, Reed. With everything in me. You made me feel worthy of everything good in the world. I only regret that I won’t get the chance to tell you…
Instead of speaking my mind and telling him how I feel, I pull back with a watery smile and lie through my teeth. “Okay. I’ll come with you.”
And I’ve never felt so shallow in my whole life. Because the gentle expression on Reed’s face tells me he believes me.
And I think that’s the worst part of all of this…
My smile isn’t one of warmth or even joy–it feels utterly dead as I force the expression. It’s then I see it. A flicker of Reed’s judgment about my promise, until I realize that I’m not convincing enough.
My lips almost wobble as I take his hand in mine, tucking my head like I’m bashful as I guide him upstairs.
“Are we packing?” He asks quietly, and my heart shreds further.
I hold back a sniffle. “Yeah, in a bit. I just want you all to myself right now.”
His hand squeezes mine in steady reassurance, and I almost give myself away as a piercing pain rips through my chest. That small movement is enough to send a trained assassin to her very knees. Because it feels like something I don’t deserve.
I can’t even look at his left hand without breaking down. The missing finger is just one of the many ways I’ve ruined this beautiful man. He deserves far more than what I could give him.
Even if it’ll destroy me in the end.
The moment my bedroom door closes, his hands are on me, sliding across my skin in reverent slowness. His mouth captures mine in a consuming kiss that makes my head swim.
I cup his face, combating my own emotions as the darkness swallows us and he backs me towards the bed. “Make me feel,” I order in a whisper.
Make me feel anything besides the ache in my chest–the hole you’ll leave behind.
He pushes me back, ravaging along my neck as he shoves between my thighs. I moan into his hair, my eyes fluttering shut as I soak him in one last time.
His scent, his feel, his taste.
“Thalia,” he breathes against my pulse.
My hand collars his throat as I press into his arteries. “Shhh. It’s us.”
His hand dips between us with desperation, and then I feel his pulsing cock slide along my panties. He uses a thumb to rip them aside before burying himself to the root, and the stretch takes my breath away.
“Look at me, Thalia,” he commands, his voice strained.
I open my eyes, stunned by the raw devotion in his gaze. The look of a man who thinks he has it all…
“I–”
I rise quickly, slamming my lips to his because I can’t hear it. Whatever he was about to say isn’t meant for me. And if I hear those words leave his lips, it’ll ruin me forever. He’s already done so much damage to my heart…
I’ll forever be Reed’s. Even if he isn’t mine.
I trail kisses along his jaw, my tears falling but never touching him in the dark. Every pass makes pain lance through me, but I keep going because I have to remember what he feels like before I let him go.
My internal muscles begin to clench around him in a warning.
My climax is lazy and languid as it begins to spread.
I hold on to him, burying my face in his neck as my eyes screw shut, and he shudders over me.
His hand cradles the back of my head, and it takes everything in me not to give in–to sob in his arms and tell him exactly what I’ve been planning in the truck with Rowan since we left the neutral point.
Heat is shared between us, and though this is goodbye, I can’t help but think of what could have been for us. I know I won’t sleep tonight. Not when it’s the last time I’ll have my whole world in my arms.