Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
COLE
I made a mistake. Dammit. Shouldn’t have had her on my lap.
When Sierra pulls out of my arms and climbs off, it takes all my control to let her go.
She wiggles across the console and I have to clamp my teeth closed to stop from groaning.
The click of her seat belt buckle echoes like a gunshot.
I know I’m in trouble. I see questions coming from a mile away.
“So, we need to talk about this. What else have you seen me do?”
Enough to make her blush for days. I’m definitely not going there. My willpower isn’t that damned strong.
The car starts with a growl that matches the one building inside me. I fail to hide my grin. “Oh, I’ve seen you do plenty.”
If she thinks we’re getting into all that, she’s wrong.
“That’s all you’re saying.”
“Yep.”
“You’re a hard man.”
I hide a snicker with a cough and glance at her. “I can be.”
Our gazes hold. The heat between us can’t be missed. That earns me a blush that apparently makes her hot enough to roll the window down.
For the next few minutes, she fidgets and while I find it mildly amusing, I know I’m playing with a dangerous fire.
As she loses the heat and rolls the window up she asks, “Did the doctor say I’d be grumpy?”
“Head injuries can cause irritability and changes in temperament. I’ve had friends in the service that have suffered from TBIs and it was a rollercoaster for a while.”
She lets out a little huff. “Great. Not only am I a blank slate, I’m a grouchy one too. I’m trying to be logical, but I feel really emotionally unsteady right now.”
After waiting on a few cars to pass, I turn onto the main arterial road. “I expected it. Not an issue.”
“I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’m sure you have other things to do.”
“Look, Sierra. You’re not a burden.”
“You don’t have to lie to me.”
She’s not a burden, but the stress is building. And her thinking she’s a burden seriously pisses me off. No one should feel that way. “It’s not a lie.”
“Clearly you’re upset about something.”
“I’m upset that you’re injured.”
She falls silent and I chew myself up for making this more of a mess than it has to be.
I could come clean. But then the odds of getting her home where I can look out for her would be zero.
A warm but clearly tentative hand wraps around my forearm, drawing me back. “I want to know who you are. Can you please just tell me about your life?”
That plea gets me. “I was a medic, technically a Pararescuer with the Air Force. But I just started a new civilian job,” I tell her without taking my eyes from the stop and go traffic.
“Going to be working for a private security and hostage rescue company. My boss is giving me some time off before I start to take care of you, but soon, I’ll start training with the team. ”
Again, her mood seems to fall, if the tone of her voice is any sign. “Sorry to be a burden.”
That’s gotta stop.
“I’d never consider you a burden.”
“But something about taking care of me makes you uneasy.”
A whole fucking lot makes me uncomfortable. Taking care of her is not one of them. “Look, I want you well. I want us on good, solid ground.”
Softly, she says, “Me too. I’m lucky to have you.”
Fuck. Me.
I can’t stop the flinch. I definitely can’t defy the burn inside my lungs. A painful exhale leaves me feeling jagged and raw.
“I’m lucky to have you, babe.”
Her hand leaves my arm and cool air slices through the skin making the nerves tingle.
After that, I lock my shit down. Muscles tight, jaw clenched, I shut the pain behind a steel door.
This is about her. Not me.
Right. Lie to yourself more, fool.
Taking the curves too fast, I drive us right to her place. No navigation needed. I’ve been there plenty.
Pulling into the parking lot of her apartment complex lot makes my stomach roll and raises my heart rate. So many memories were made inside those walls.
This is the very same place where we had six months of scorching, raw, carnal, sleepless nights.
And… the very same place where our brief relationship devolved into a disastrous night.
An arrest.
A screaming fight.
I thought both of us would carry those memories to our graves.
“Is this it?” Sierra asks as she leans up to peer out the windshield.
“Yeah,” I reply with my sense of dread growing. But there’s no stopping this train now, no matter how much I want to turn around and drive far away from this place.
If going into her apartment brings back her memories, there’s gonna be a crisis. Only this time, I’m not letting her go.
I motion toward the building on the right. “Yeah. Up there. Top floor. You live here. Not me.”
“So…um…we don’t live together?”
I shake my head. Landmine detected. Tread easy. I’ve been thinking about this question since I walked into the hospital.
As I turn off the engine, I tell her the truth. “No. We don’t live together. Yet. But you’re coming to my place now. After that, we’ll figure out what makes the most sense.”
If she doesn’t get her memory back.
The corners of her mouth drop into a frown. “So weird. I feel kind of seasick because I don’t know any of that.”
I’m thinking the same thing. I don’t have my sea legs either, sweetheart.
She reaches for the handle to open the car door, but I grab her. “Let me get a feel of things before we go running up to the sidewalk.”
That makes Sierra scrunch her nose. Which makes her wince. Which makes me pissed off as fuck that she’s got such bad bruising.
She mutters, “Right. I forgot. We’re in high alert mode.”
“Safety first.”
As soon as I utter the words, I remember Sierra used to always counter me with a devilish grin. “Safety third,” she’d say before she would do something ballsy.
After another minute of watching for any signs of trouble, I give the all clear. Before I can tell her to let me open the door, she bolts.
I call after her as I jump from the car. “Hang on there, wild woman.”
When she meets me at the front of the car, I have to fight not to scold her. “In the future, let me open your door.”
“Are you one of those men that—”
“Yep. I am. I enjoy opening your door. Call me old-fashioned. I’ve got manners, and if I didn’t, my mother would kick my ass.”
What I don’t remind her of right now is that I also enjoy holding her hand and tucking her close to my side with my arm over her shoulder. Not going there now. I’m already skating on thin ice, trying to keep my libido under control.
I do allow myself to rest my hand on her low back as I guide her up the walk to the entry to her building.
I pull out the key Cade gave me as we climb the stairs. “Fortunately, Cade got a key for us. He had it made by the landlord.”
What I don’t tell Sierra is that my key is missing… or technically at the bottom of the river since I threw it off a bridge in a fit of heartbroken rage.
I slide it into the lock and try to turn it. Only the thing doesn’t budge. Just fucking great. I clench the key in my fist. “Which doesn’t work, by the way.”