Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
SIERRA
Wow. Talk about getting blindsided. It hurts. All the way down inside me.
Hot water pours over me, mixing with my tears.
I’m not over him.
My mind doesn’t remember, but the squeezing sensation in my chest is the only proof I need.
Without a doubt I have loved Cole Strong.
My world is in shambles. Nothing makes sense. Cole lied to me. Yet, I want to run to him. I need him like I need my next breath.
This is insane.
I press my face against the shower wall and pray this storm ends soon. My moorings are weak.
“Sierra, sweetheart, are you okay?” Cole’s deep voice carries through the bathroom door and over the sound of the shower.
I knew he’d come to check on me after I turned around and left the kitchen with a grumbled, “I need space.”
The air had turned suffocating.
I thought maybe a shower would help. Wrong.
If anything I’m antsier, more desperate for some relief.
“I’ll be down in a few minutes,” I call back.
I close my eyes. Everything hurts. Inside. Outside. Bruises that you can see and you can’t see.
The damage to my body can be managed with some pain reliever, but I’m pretty sure that nothing has ever been created to fix a broken heart.
Oh my god.
Is that what I have?
Something’s wrong inside of the walls of my body and he’s clearly tied to it.
Surely I’d be broken-hearted if my relationship with a man like Cole ended?
He offers so much. Unwavering support. Fierce protection. Tenderness.
Ugh!
Stop. Just stop.
I shut the water off and stare at the tile wall as water rolls down it. I want to punch one of the stone rectangles. If I wasn’t afraid I’d mangle my fist, I would.
So freaking complicated. Cole isn’t just amazing. He also lied.
For my protection, a little voice inside my head reminds me.
I snatch a thick gray towel from the rack beside the shower.
It’s the softest towel I’ve ever felt. It’s gigantic too, big enough to go around me twice.
Even his bath towels are nice, dammit.
God, I like everything about the man. But I’m sick of being confused and having this ache inside of me.
Even brushing the towel over my skin makes me think of him!
My temper’s boiling, my blood is thumping and the center of my core is molten lava by the time I’m done drying off.
Cole Strong, damn you! I throw the towel onto the counter and pull on my clothes in a rush.
This has to end.
When I burst into the kitchen, he spins around and instantly goes into high alert. “Are you okay?”
My hands clench at my sides. “No. I’m falling apart, Cole. I am not okay. I don’t know how that would be possible right now.”
The slope of his shoulders rises and falls slowly. “I’m truly sorry that I’ve caused you pain.”
Those words are drenched in regret. But it’s the pain in his eyes that unravels the final string that was holding me together.
As I draw in a jagged inhale, something inside of me shifts. A surrender, but I’m not sure to what exactly.
Maybe to a world of pain.
I can’t take this anymore—he has to touch me.
Hold me.
Fix this.
Cole’s eyes harden as I move toward him. The man probably expected me to punch him in the gut.
Tempting.
I stop just inches from him and take in his scent. Pulling it deep into my soul.
“I need something from you,” I whisper.
My heart thumps as I reach for him and press my palms into his flannel shirt. He’s breathing hard, but it’s not from exertion.
My mouth has gone so dry it’s hard to speak. “Please hold me.”
Please. I look right into his beautiful eyes, deep into his soul.
With a rough sound, Cole drags me against him.
A deep, fast exhale stirs my hair, warms my skin. He whispers, “Every night I’ve thought of you.”
I must have thought of him. I must have missed him with every cell in my body.
“I don’t understand any of this, Cole.” My lips tremble as my eyes drift closed. “But even though I can’t make sense of it and I can’t recall us, I am on fire for you.”
The growl that rumbles through him vibrates between us. “I want you so fucking bad, Sierra.”
My blood ignites like a river of gasoline.
A torrent of need is unleashed inside of my core.
He brushes my hair back and presses his mouth against my temple. His voice turns to gravel. “I’m wrecked.”
“Me too,” I whisper back.
His lips press gently against the bruise on my cheek, then trail lower, stopping against the angle of my jaw. He inhales slowly as his hands tighten around my waist.
This touch feels so different from when he kissed me in the apartment.
Need throbs between us. Powerful, deep.
The intensity scares me and thrills me at the same time.
I rise on my toes and press closer to him. “You feel so good.”
He murmurs, “Careful, Sierra. You have no idea how bad I want to be inside your tight, slick heat right now. Buried so deep that we meld into one damaged soul.”
His words burn a path through me.
Wreck me all over again. I’m helpless to resist. I nod against his chest. A shiver races down my arms and makes my fingertips tingle. My core pulses rhythmically. My toes curl on the cool wooden floor. “What’s holding you back?”
He drags his beard scruff against my neck and kisses the heated trail his whiskers left. “You're not ready.”
“I’m fine. The injuries aren’t that bad.”
“It’s more than just your cuts and bruises. I want you fully aware of who you’re getting involved with if you go to bed with me.”
I twist my hand in his soft, gray and black flannel shirt and tug him even closer. “Tell me. Then show me.”
This has the opposite effect of what I want. He pulls back and looks down at me. There is an internal war raging behind his eyes.
With gentle pressure, he grips my jaw. “You’re not ready to talk about it all.”
My tongue licks across my lips, trying to soothe the hunger for him. “I am. I can take it.”
“No. I’m not going to tell you everything about us. It’s too much. It’s going to hurt you too badly.”
My heart stops, then restarts with a clunk. How bad can it be?
A knot forms in my stomach as dread slithers through me. It could be terrible. There’s one thing I can’t imagine forgiving.
“Did you cheat on me?”
He flinches. “God, no. I would never. I only had eyes for you, beautiful.”
I let out my clogged breath. “I can’t tell you how glad I am you said that.”
His gray-green eyes soften as he brushes his thumb along my cheek. “It’s a dark story. You’re not ready and until you are, I’m not going to take you.”
“My body doesn’t need those pieces to know it wants you.”
I slide my fingers between the buttons on his shirt to touch him. The skin is burning hot. The ache inside of me flames. “I can feel you inside of me, already.”
His head falls back as he rumbles, “Fuck. You’re killing me.” The cords of his neck tighten as he swallows.
“I don’t care what our story is. You care about me. We’re here right now. I feel how much you’re giving me.”
He’s turned into a statue.
As I press my fingers against his warm skin, right over his heart, I say, “I must be special to you.”
“You are,” he replies huskily.
“You said you’d kill someone because they hurt me. Let it be known, I don’t condone murder. But my point is, I know you wouldn’t do that if I wasn’t important to you.”
“I would burn the world down for you. But you’re not seeing the entire picture.”
I frame his face with my hands. “Cole…” I lean harder into his body.
Rubbing myself over all that strength, pressing myself over the long erection in his jeans.
“This is all I need right now. I don’t want the whole picture.
I’m not asking you to tell me. But I want this.
I want you inside of me as you wrap me up in your powerful arms.”
A shudder rolls through him. His heart pounds behind his ribs, the pace matching mine. “Damn you, woman.”
“Take me, Cole. Take me. Show me what it’s like again.”
He makes a masculine, aching sound. His arms snake around me, and Cole crushes me against his body.
A thrilled gasp bursts out of me against his lips. “Finally.”
But that’s the last word I get out.
Cole’s raw and uncontrolled. A tornado. His wild energy surges around me, flinging my heart in a thousand directions.
This isn’t the same man that kissed me back in the apartment in Virginia. Clearly, he was letting me lead then. Now, it’s all him. Dominant and hungry.
His tongue spears in and tangles with mine over and over again. His body molds hotly against mine as the taste of him makes me go crazy.
Suddenly my feet are off the floor. Never breaking the kiss, Cole strides to the couch.
My caveman. I could get used to him carrying me around. By the time we’re in the living room, I’m breathless. Dizzy and thrilled.
My feet touch down on the thick rug when he lowers me. Then he’s pressing me backward, using every inch of his tall body. I tumble onto the soft blanket, the deep couch cushioning my collapse.
He climbs on top of me, caging me in and kisses me hard. When I’m breathless, he pulls back and stares down at me, propping himself on his elbows. His voice is rough. “This is a bad idea. You’re in pain.”
“No, it’s a wonderful idea. Think of it as pain medicine.” My hands are shaking as I try to work the buttons on his shirt.
A few seconds pass, then he laughs in a low, husky tone. “You were always a wild thing in bed.”
“Good to know. Because that’s how I feel right now.”
He kisses me again as his hands efficiently rid me of every single piece of clothing. My body tingles all over like I’m filled with champagne bubbles.
I’ve barely gotten his jeans unbuttoned and I’m already so primed I could orgasm from a warm breeze brushing my skin.
He pulls back. His expression turns murderous. The bruises.
“No, don’t look at them,” I say.
“You’re hurt.”
“Don’t let that stop you.”
His jaw tightens as he inhales sharply through his nose. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, Cole. I’m sure. Now please, don’t stop.”
My pulse pounds as his eyes linger on me. My nipples tighten even more when his tongue traces over his bottom lip. “We’re not getting rough.”
I have a feeling I can snap his control, but I’m not announcing that.
“Don’t even think about it,” he warns with a sexy laugh. Then he lowers his gaze to my nipples. First one, then the other.
Oh yes.
God, I can practically feel his eyes like a physical touch. My skin tingles everywhere he pauses.
He swallows hard. “This is dangerous. I’m on the edge of losing control.”
“Don’t hold back. I need this. Show me what it’s like between us.”
He shifts, causing his beautiful muscles to flex. I love the way he looks above me. All the chiseled angles are lit by the glow of the fire.
Finally, he nods. Relenting to what he and I both want. “Then hold on, because I’m about to devour you.”
I meep when he shoves my legs apart.
Then his broad shoulders are between my trembling thighs. He kisses my left leg. “Stop me if it’s too much.”
I’m not sure if I’m nodding yes or shaking my head no. “Okay.”
He brushes his lips over the crease of my leg. Yowza! My mouth falls open with a moan.
I watch as his control snaps. His eyes flare and he moves quickly. No preamble. His tongue takes a vicious swipe against my clit.
God, yes.
My body goes electric from the top of my head to my curling toes. “Oh, honey, Cole…”
I shudder against him as my lungs drag air across my teeth. I fist the blanket below me as my eyes flutter. The man has a magic tongue. I’ve never felt anything so amazing in my life.
“Such a pretty pussy, and so damned sweet,” he murmurs against my drenched center.
This time when his mouth lowers to my clit, I almost come off the couch. My body levers up as a deep moan rocks me.
He laughs, puts a hand over my pounding heart and presses me flat. “You’re not escaping me that fast.”
Oh no. Oh yes! My body begins to convulse. “Ah. Ahhh. I’m going to come apart.”
Cole eats me like I’m the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. His thumbs spread me open, demanding that I let him in as his tongue lashes me. Yes. Yes…Yes!
Goosebumps rise on my hot skin. My core throbs to the beat of my pounding heart. I suddenly realize my hands are fisted in my own hair.
Contractions roll over me, rocking my pelvis against his mouth. This is the mother of all orgasms. “God! There, right there.”
Those thumbs work my inner lips. My lord, he’s touching me in a way I can’t even understand.
I love it. So freaking much.
I never want it to end.
He murmurs, “Come, babe. Come for me like you always do.”
Nothing in the world could stop my orgasm. Not a nuclear explosion. A tornado. A hurricane.
I clench his shoulders hard with my thighs as my body bucks. I’ve suddenly got hair in my mouth. My hair!
None of it matters. I only want to feel right now. Because it feels really, really, really freaking good. “Yes. Yes. More. More. Ye—”
I shatter.
Pure bliss. Soaring so high, I may never come back to Earth.
His deep laugh cuts through to me as I float in the blackness. “Fuck, Sierra. That was so damned hot. Your beautiful pussy remembered just how to come for me.”
I’m so hoarse. “Come here…” My arms feel like lead as I reach for him. But he grabs my hands and hoists me to my feet.
“Ohmygod, you expect me to stand up after that?”
It’s all I can do to make my wobbly legs cooperate. Cole spins me around. Pulls me back with rough hands. The hard, hot length of him presses against my back.
“I will not grind you into the couch with your back bruised up like that.”
“I’m fine.”
He growls. His voice drops low. “Yes, you are. God. I fucking love all these curves.” His big hand clasps my entire butt cheek.
I shiver when his teeth graze my ear. “You want to remember what it’s like to have me hilt deep inside of you?”
“Show me, Cole. Show me everything.” My voice is still in tatters.
The head of his cock rubs against my slick folds, sending a spasm racing all the way to my nipples. And the only word I can scream when he shoves into me is his name.
A name that comes so easily on my lips as he owns my body.