Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
COLE
After two hours more of chopping wood, I’m spent. But I’m not blind.
Sierra jumps up from the table. My laptop is more or less where I left it, but I know she’s been online.
I doubt she was shopping for fuzzy slippers if her expression is a sign.
“Find anything interesting?”
She swallows roughly. “A story about the police finding me. I saw an interview that I was in from the Air Force as well.”
My blood slows and ices up. “Yeah. Anything else?”
“Nope.”
I search her eyes for honesty. She holds my gaze with an expression more like determination than lying.
I hang my gloves on the rack by the door and start working at the laces on my boots. “It might be best if you go slow with that kind of thing.”
“Fine.” She spins and takes off.
Fuck. I’m fucking everything up. My mood is venomous as I stow my gear and drink a glass of water. I need to get a grip. That takes time. I stall and pace around downstairs until I’m clear-minded.
When I hit the landing, I immediately see that the guest room door is closed. Gathering my patience, I stop next to the closed door.
I knock twice. “Sierra?”
Thirty seconds later, the door swings open and we’re less than six inches apart.
She’s still angry from earlier. Not surprising. Once a firecracker goes off, it’s hard to rein back in.
Her narrowed lashes frame hard eyes. I guess she needs to chop some wood too.
“The axe is out back if you want to wail on some wood. I’m feeling a lot more civil than I was.”
She presses her mouth into a flat line, glares at me. “It’s probably not a good idea to leave axes lying around right now.”
I turn toward my bedroom. “Dinner’s at five at my parents’ farm. We need to leave here at four-fifteen sharp.”
I’m already prepared. She’s going to refuse to go. I head that off at the pass. “Be ready, or I’ll carry you out in whatever state you’re in.”
The guest room door slams behind me.
She’s no happier when we leave. But she walked out under her own power.
If eyes could start a fire, I’d be a smoldering pile of ashes in the driver’s seat right now.
As I clench the wheel, I ask, “Can we pull off acting normal?”
“Normal?” She makes a pfft sound. “I’m perfectly normal. Angry normal.”
I pull off the road onto a narrow gravel strip where the plow removed the snow earlier. “Look. I don’t want to air my dirty relationship laundry in front of my four brothers, their spouses, and my parents. Now listen to me carefully.”
Sierra crosses her arms, raises a brow over her angry eye.
“I’ve been away in the service for twenty years.
My mother kept a place setting at her dining table for me every single Sunday for every one of those years.
That’s over 1,000 times there’s been a place for me there no matter where in the world I was or how unlikely it was that I would come home.
And you’re my guest today. So there’s a place for you there too. Do you get how important this is?”
She shifts in her seat. Flicks her eyes away from me.
After a few tense seconds, I say, “I know you’re mad at me. I’m trying to do something that I think is right for you. If you have a single ounce of care for me at all, you will act like you want to be there with me, at that table, with my family.”
Her lashes drop. When she raises them, some of the anger has dissipated. Something unsaid passes between us. After scrubbing my eyes with my hands, I shift the truck into gear and pull back onto the road.
Let’s pray we can keep it together for a few hours.
The ranch is blanketed in white. Low evening light has cast everything in a moody gray color. I hope it’s not an omen.
Sierra’s silent as she walks beside me up the porch steps. She doesn’t move away when I rest my hand on her lower back and usher her through the door.
Warm, welcoming scents of baked bread, roast chicken, and cinnamon cookies fill the air along with the earthy fragrance of the fresh Christmas tree. I take Sierra’s borrowed coat as she moves to stand in front of the tree.
She leans back to take in the tall height. “It’s really beautiful.”
“It is. Maybe a close second to ours.”
An innocent happiness brightens Sierra’s face as she walks around the tree, taking in the red and white lights sparkling in branches that are laden with every color ornament. “Some of those are from Liam’s and my deployments. I used to send them home when I could.”
Her eyes turn to me. I hold my breath wondering what she’s going to say, but a shrill squeal shatters the moment. Two seconds later, I’ve got two munchkins wrapped around my legs. My brother’s laugh soon follows. “I wondered where those two were going.”
Picking both toddlers up, I laugh. “Have they been trying to climb the tree?”
“Every chance they get. But I think it’s you they are really excited about, at the moment.”
“You think?” I blink as Finn pats a hand on my cheek and the other strangles me in a hug.
“Hey, hey, now. Don’t kill Uncle Cole before he can eat dinner.” Larson pulls one child into his arms. I shift the other and catch his hand on my own.
“Sierra, this is Eli, and that little wild man is Finn. And this is my brother, Larson.”
As he flips the toddler in his arms over his shoulder, Larson says, “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard all about you.”
Sierra’s eyes widen. “Me?”
He grins. “Mom is over the moon that you two are having a romantic Christmas, complete with a tree and all.”
I laugh as Sierra flicks her eyes toward me. Her jaw is locked tight. Yeah, romantic. Not at the moment.
Sierra flips her hair over her shoulder as she lifts her chin. “I’m sure there’s something I can do in the kitchen.”
And then she’s gone without a backward glance.
So romantic.
Larson raises a brow.
“Guess she’s about to meet the rest of our crazy clan.”
It’s total chaos in the gigantic farm kitchen. Three of my brothers are elbow deep in some kind of cooking activity. Larson is wrangling kids. My mother is giving out orders so well, she could rival any drill sergeant. “Carter, check the bread, now!”
Suddenly, the giant open floor plan kitchen and dining area falls weirdly quiet. I clear my throat. “Hey everyone.”
A slender elbow bumps my arm. “Introduce your friend,” says my sister-in-law, Summer, as she passes by.
Sierra’s eyes go wide when I do a Vanna White toward her. “Everyone, that is Sierra.”
She blushes furiously as she glares at me from across the kitchen. Summer, Carter’s wife, shoves a cup of hot cider in her hands. “Welcome to the wild, wild West.”
“I see that. Can I help do anything?”
He winks. “Just keep my brother there happy and you’ll be doing us all a favor.”
She twists her mouth. “Uh, yeah. About that. I’m not sure anyone can do that.”
Mom sweeps by. “Hello, Sierra, welcome back. Wanna jump in?”
She tosses me one more glare, as if she’s happy to be doing anything but standing with me. “Gladly.”
Mom waves toward the sideboard where all the Sunday dinnerware is stored. “I could use some help to get the table set.”
“I’m your woman. Just tell me what to do.”
Two seconds later, I’m left standing alone in the middle of traffic. Everyone went back to what they were doing.
Sunday dinners were always a production, but with the explosion in family that’s been added in the last couple of years, it’s now a full on event. Backing up, I move out of the way.
Liam motions for me to join him on the periphery. “What’s up, man? You look like you’re constipated.”
I grumble, “Hardly.”
He chuckles. “Pretty woman got your panties in a knot?”
Crossing my arms, I cut him a side glance. “I’m going to sic your wife on you.”
Knowing he’s going down a path with no good outcome, he switches the subject. “How’s the new job?”
“Just getting ramped up. First training exercise is coming up. The team seems to have a solid background, so I think it’s going to be good.”
“That’s good. I know how hard it can be to reintegrate.”
I shrug.
His voice drops low. “So, what’s her story? Mom said she’s an old friend.”
“Mom’s wrong.”
He wraps a thick arm around my shoulder. “Come with me.”
We step into the hallway, away from the hustle of the kitchen. He turns toward the study. The noise subsides as we enter the room with bookcases packed to the gills.
Liam moves to the cabinet on the far wall. Opens the barely noticeable door. When he returns, he’s got rum in his hand—the little stash my father keeps for cold winter nights. He dumps a serving in my cider. “That should help.”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
Leave it to Liam to see right through me. He was intuitive before he became a doctor. He’s downright maddening since. “There’s just some things that she’s working through and I’m not quite sure how to deal with it.”
He motions to the leather couch. “Sit.”
I grumble but drop onto the sofa. “When did you become a counselor?”
“When I was born, I guess. I’ve been listening to the four of you since you were old enough to talk.”
But the truth is, if there’s anyone who can understand what’s happening at my house, it’s Liam. So, I spill. “Sierra’s got near total amnesia.”
His hand freezes with his mug halfway to his mouth. “Well, I’ll admit, that is the last thing I expected you to say.”
Wrapping my hands around the heat of my mug, I lean forward until my elbows are on my knees. “I know things she wants to know.”
“Bad things, I take it?”
“Remember, I said Sierra isn’t an old friend?”
He nods once.
“She’s my former girlfriend. Our relationship imploded about seven months ago because I got her drug addict brother arrested for physically assaulting her.
I did it to protect her. She never wanted to speak to me again because she wanted to take some soft approach.
She wouldn’t admit to herself how violent or dangerous he was.
Until he hurt her. And I had him arrested, so I didn’t kill him myself. ”
Liam leans back in his chair. “Fuck. That’s some serious shit. So why is she here?”
“I’m all she has. A buddy who knew us both called me to come get her. She had nowhere else to go.”
He slugs the rest of his cider. “No wonder you look as friendly as a roll of barbed wire.”
I shake my head slowly. “Things were going… well, let’s just say the chemistry between us never died. And me, being the penis-owning caveman that I am, got right back on that party train. But she wants answers and I don’t think she’s ready for the truth.”
“Because it’s too traumatic?”
“She’s going to go crazy when she finds out her one living relative is probably on the streets somewhere, addicted to some hard as shit drugs. Even if she can’t remember him. She’s not the kind of person to let that go.”
Liam just watches me as I work my fingers around the mug. Loosening my fingers from the thing so I don’t accidentally crush it, I open up to my worst fears. “I’m not ready to let her go.”
His serious eyes drill right into me. “Hurts like a bitch when they hit you right in the heart, doesn’t it?”
I finish the cider. “Worse than any bullet I’ve taken.”
“What can I do?”
My shoulders feel about ten thousand pounds heavy. A crane might be nice. But I say, “Nothing.”
“She’s probably going to remember. Most amnesia patients get near full recall.”
I nod. “I know. And the selfish fucker in me doesn’t want that. Because I always knew she was the one for me.”
There’s a soft knock on the door. “Hey, you two.” Sophia, Liam’s wife, steps quietly into the den. “This looks serious. You hiding out from your girl? She seemed a little put out when I asked her about you.”
I chuckle. “If only put out was all it was.”
Liam stands and goes to his wife, wrapping his arms around her small waist. She sighs and leans into him. When he turns back to me, his face is much more optimistic looking. “Maybe a little girl-time would help this situation. I’m sure Sierra’s feeling a bit isolated.”
Sophia rests her head against my brother’s shoulder. “She’s from Virginia?”
“Yes. And—”
Liam nods his chin toward me. “Tell her. She’s better equipped with knowledge about the brain than I am. She did specialty work in neurology in her residency.”
I push off the couch. “Please keep this between us, but Sierra has almost total amnesia.”
Sophia’s face lights with empathy that I know makes her a great doctor. “Oh lord, poor thing. And poor you. I know that’s very challenging.”
“It’s been tough. And it’s nowhere near over.”
Sophia glances up toward the ceiling. You can see her cogs turning. “That explains why she asked Nolene to show her how to place the silverware.”
Running my hand through my hair, I let out a long breath. “Some things she knows. Some, she doesn’t. It’s very hit or miss. But she’s beginning to get agitated. Right now, she’s more than angry with me about holding back details of her past.”
Sophia’s brows narrow until they’re almost touching in the middle. “Should you?”
Do I admit I’m not telling her because I don’t want to let Sierra go?
Liam replies before I can think of what to say. “Cole has his reasons.”
Suddenly, Sierra sticks her head in the door. My earlier frustration comes raging back when I see that her eyes are fiery, too. “Dinner’s ready. I was sent to find you.”
“Guys, this is Sierra. Babe, this is my brother, Liam, and his wife, Sophia.”
I turn Sierra toward the door. “Best not to keep Nolene waiting. I’d prefer not to have more than one female mad at me at a time. If the two of them gang up on me, I’m dead meat.”