Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
COLE
The smell of baked chicken, fresh rolls, and cookies drifts out of the to-go bag my mother packed for us. I open the truck door for Sierra and she silently climbs in.
I sigh out my exhaustion when I climb in the driver's seat. “Well, that was weird.”
Nothing. Not a word in reply. Sierra’s energy is as prickly as a porcupine.
The entire way home, she stares out the window into the dark night.
When we step into the foyer, she won’t look at me.
“I’m going to bed.”
I’m left staring after her as she climbs the steps without another word.
After putting away the food, I climb the stairs to my bedroom. Tired. Muscles aching from the murderous chopping I did earlier.
The water runs in the guest bath. The toilet flushes. Then the house falls silent. All I can think about is the ticking time bomb between us.
Punching my pillow, I try to get comfortable. Yeah. Good luck with that, buddy.
After half an hour of staring into the black expanse of the bedroom, I consider marching over there and telling her everything. Just ripping the fucking bandaid off. Unleashing the carnage.
But I don’t. Because it’s only going to cause her pain. Something I’d love to save her from ever experiencing again.
There’s got to be some way to fix this shit.
To save her from heartbreak all over again. To give us a fighting chance. Reaching for my phone, I dial up Marshall.
“It’s late as hell, I’m sorry.”
His voice is sleep-rough. “What do you need, brother?”
“To talk this shit through.”
* * *
Sierra’s still asleep upstairs when I carry my duffel bag of gear to the front door.
After, I jot a note on the pad on the kitchen table.
“I’ll be back tomorrow evening. Liam, Sophia, and my Mom’s numbers are on a piece of paper taped to the wall by the house phone.
If you need anything at all, call them immediately.
They’re doctors. Well, Mom isn’t, but you know she’s got you for anything else you need.
We have a lot to figure out when I get back.
Don’t do anything foolish. And DON’T touch the axe.
Yours, Cole”
Yours.
Damn.
I stare at the note. Yours. I’m in over my head. If Sierra leaves, I’m not sure I will survive.
My shoulders are heavy as I turn off the kitchen light and snag my phone off the charger. I give it one last check.
Damn. I was hoping for a text from Marshall. Even one from Cade. But nothing. No developments on tracking Sierra’s brother.
Things are about to get busy. Marshall is going on the training op with us, but the last thing he’s going to be thinking about is the intel he’s been working on aside from his other commitments.
He knows it’s important. But I’m not sure he realizes it might be my one chance.
I don’t have much time, but that doesn’t stop me from going to the guest room door.
The guest room is silent. I crack open the door and step into the darkness. Sierra’s small form is barely visible in the gigantic bed. The sight makes my heart constrict.
Lifting the blanket, I slide in behind her.
She sighs sleepily as I press my body against her back and wrap my arm around her. My heart throbs painfully behind my ribcage as I listen to her steady breathing.
When I kiss her cheek, she stretches against me. “Is it morning?”
“Yes. I have to leave for the training with the team soon.”
“But it’s really early.”
“Yes, it is.”
She rolls in my arms until she’s facing me. I tuck her into my shoulder. Gliding my hand up and down her slender back makes me never want to leave.
I nuzzle her ear. “I’m sorry about the fight. I am just doing what I can to keep you safe and happy.”
She traces her fingers over my cheek and down my neck until her hand comes to rest on my chest. “Me too. I don’t want to fight. I know you’re trying. I am too.”
I tip her face up to mine. Her lips are so, so soft. God. I’m done for. She feels so right in my arms. The more I hold her, the more I know she’s the only woman that fills up the void inside of me.
I kiss her deeply, slowly. Thankful for this moment.
When I pull back, she clings to me with trembling hands.
Emotions roll through me. Smoothing back her hair, I tell her something that’s weighed heavy on my mind. “You don’t remember this, but when we first met, you brought me back from the brink. I was in the darkest place of my life. Every day I thought about ending the pain.”
Her breath catches. “Cole…”
“You gave me a reason to see a different way. With you, I felt alive again. You helped me get into PTSD therapy. You saw something in me I had forgotten even existed. I owe you my life.”
Her arms wrap around me in a vicious hug. We hold each other so tight I wonder if we’ll ever be two people again.
“I’m sorry I can’t remember, Cole. I wish that everything about us wasn’t gone from my memory.”
I dip to her mouth again. Brush my lips over the corner of hers. “You don’t want to remember it. I mean that. Starting fresh would be the best thing that could happen for us.”
“I think the truth would make us stronger.”
I sigh and press my forehead against hers. “I’m afraid it won’t.”
“You’ll tell me one day.” It’s a plea.
Pressing my face into her silky hair, I murmur, “I will. But not today.”
She nuzzles deeper into my chest. “You’re leaving me here on my own.”
I’m not sure if it’s a statement or a question. “Against my better judgement, I am. But you have to agree to check in with me regularly.”
Her hand slowly circles over my chest. “And if I don’t agree?”
“I’m sending someone to pick you up in an hour.”
Her breath catches, then she lets out a little growl. “You would, wouldn't you?”
“My only job is to keep you safe.”
Sierra goes very still in my arms. I can only imagine what’s coming next. But she surprises me.
“I’m lucky to have you.”
I press up onto my elbow, rolling her onto her back. “I’m beginning to understand why people in love might do crazy things.”
She smiles. Just a small smile. Even though the light is low, I see the mist gather on her lashes. “Are you in love, Cole?”
There’s no doubt in my mind.
I let that sit for a beat before I confess the enormity of what I’m feeling. “There’s no other word to describe the size of this thing between us.”
A beat of silence passes. What I’d give to read her thoughts.
Her bottom lip curls in until her top teeth worry at it. “This is all so fast…”
For her everything is new. It has to feel like a whirlwind. Not for me. I’ve loved her for nearly a year.
As I stroke her hair, I say, “There’s no need to rush. If things go how I hope they will, we will have forever.”
My breath locks up. Damn. I said the forever word.
Sierra’s perfectly still in my arms. Her body is stiff against me.
Shit. I should have kissed her and left. Now I’ve made an even bigger mess of things.
“Cole Strong,” she mutters as her arms fly up and around my neck, “don’t do this to me.”
“Confess my love?”
Her reply is a whispered, “Yes. It’s too much.”
I laugh lightly, trying to diffuse the moment. “Alright. I won’t say it then. Doesn’t mean it’s not true.”
“I’m still mad at you.” Her tone is light and teasing, but she snuggles closer to me. So I think that point might be debatable.
If she wants to play, I can too. She gasps when I grab her butt roughly in my palm. Growling against her ear, I say, “And I’m still mad at you.”
The temperature in the room goes up ten degrees.
I need to get out of here.
But she presses her open mouth against my neck. Blood starts to heat in my veins. I need to go.
“No quickies this morning. The next time I’m inside of you I want to take my time.”
A loud frustrated groan fills the bedroom. Sierra fists my shirt and gives it a sharp tug.
I chuckle even though I’m going to have blue balls from hell. “I gotta go, sweetheart.”
“Can we have make up sex when you get back?”
Her eyes widen when I roll on top of her and cage her in with my arms. She raises up and kisses me. I don’t know how long we devour each other like we’re starved, but it’s too long.
It takes Herculean effort to drag myself off the bed. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve done some hard shit.
As I look down at her tangled in the sheets, I adjust my painfully hard cock. “I can hardly wait to make up.”
“Hurry home.” She props up on her elbows and watches me as I walk toward the door.
Something tells me an overnight is going to feel longer than any trip I’ve taken before.
I take one last look. Committing the sweet expression on her face to memory.