SYLAS
I’m pacing the terrace, debating grabbing my phone from my pocket and lighting a cigarette.
Harlow already warned me not to look at the tabloids. I know it’s in my best interest that I don’t. I can only imagine what they’re saying and how they’re blowing everything out of proportion.
As suspected, everyone is losing their minds over the news. People I haven’t spoken to in years are crawling out of the woodwork, and new and old teammates are blowing up my DMs. Everyone seems to have reached out, except for my parents.
Thea and I already spoke, and just like Harlow, she cautioned me against looking at my socials.
It seems like everyone knows except for Anna because when she got home from work, she didn’t seem to be aware.
I told her we needed to talk, but she said she desperately needed to shower. Which is why I’ve been waiting out here for thirty minutes now.
Just as I’m about to reach for my phone, Anna steps outside. Her damp hair is down, her glasses sit on the bridge of her nose, and she’s wearing a baggy T-shirt baggy that sits mid-thigh.
When we were together, she’d wear my shirts to bed with nothing underneath. As much as I’d love to know what is or isn’t under the material, I don’t allow myself to ask.
“Hey?” She observes me, cautious eyes perusing my face. “Everything okay?”
“The media knows.” I get to the point. It took everything in me not to text her earlier, but she was at work.
I assumed she didn’t know anything because Maya didn’t, not until I told her before she said good night.
“It was posted just a few hours ago, and I’m convinced your loud-ass neighbor Joel had something to do with it. ”
Her nostrils flare, and her lips flatten in a tight line. She releases them and tsks, standing by the railing. “Of course he did. Let me guess, he took pictures and sold them?”
“Yeah.” I stand next to her and force myself to focus on what we’re talking about and not the fact that she’s here. Every night, I’d stand here with a cigarette in my hand, staring at nothing in particular, sifting through memories. “Don’t look me up. It’s all they’re talking about, and…”
“They’re talking shit about me,” she fills in.
“Yes and no. You know how the tabloids are. They like to lie and exaggerate things. But don’t worry, my team is working on it.” I drum my fingers on the railing and sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for all of this to happen.”
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” She tilts her head back to look up at me.
She offers me the faintest smile, but even without it, the tone of her voice would be enough for me to understand that she’s not mad.
But I know she’s exhausted. I hear it and see the fatigue weighing in her eyes.
“We knew it was bound to happen, right? Considering who your parents are and who you are, the world was bound to find out.”
“You’re taking this so well. You can yell at me, hit me, I don’t know, do anything. I don’t blame you for being angry.”
She shifts on her heels, raking her fingers through her hair.
“I knew what the risks were when I let you be in Rosie’s life.
” She releases a resigned sigh and lifts a shoulder.
“If we can prevent Rosie being online, that would be great. I don’t care what they say about me.
I just don’t want her face splashed everywhere. ”
The pounding in my head wanes as does my hammering heart. “I can do that. I’ll make sure of it, but I’ll also do my best to make sure your name—”
“It’s social media. You can’t make anyone do anything. Like I said, I don’t care. There isn’t anything anyone can say that’ll upset me. The worst has already happened,” she supplies indifferently, raising her shoulder in a half shrug.
“Doesn’t matter. I’m going to take care of it. I’m going to protect you and Rosie. I promise.” I speak with determination, holding her stare. “I mean it, Anna.”
I expect her to counter it, to tell me not to worry about it, but she nods and stares straight ahead.
Unable to look away, I extend my pinky, wanting to touch her, but I draw it back. All I can do is stare, because despite everything I want to say and what I want to do, I don’t want to overwhelm her.
She looks fine, but that’s no surprise. Anna’s so strong and independent; she was always going to handle the news well. But in spite of that, I need her to understand she’s not alone.
“I know you can handle it. I know what you’re capable of, but I’m here. In every way that I can, I’m going to be here.”
She grips the railing, exhaling a sharp breath.
“I know, Sylas. You haven’t stopped reminding me of that.
I know you’re here, and I know you’ll help.
” She pivots, turning her body completely to face me.
“But sometimes I don’t know how to feel about it.
Sometimes it’s overwhelming, and sometimes I just really want you to shut up and let me think because it’s hard to do that around you. ”
“I overwhelm you?” I step closer, sliding my hand on the railing so it’s next to hers. My heart races, and anxiety dances over my bones and winds around my brain.
Anna doesn’t move it when our fingers brush, when I lift my index and rest it on top of hers. She stands taller, jaw tight, eyes hardened and full of heat.
“All the time!” she huffs. “With your words and the way you look at me and touch me!” She removes her hand from mine and jabs a finger hard on my chest. “You’re making it impossible to breathe, to think, to sleep, Sylas.
I need you to stop. I need space, I need—” She abruptly stops talking, grunting harshly, gaze dipping to my mouth. “Kiss me.”
My heart careens. I almost think I heard her wrong, that I made it all up, until she repeats herself.
“Kiss me. Do it.”
I don’t give it a second thought as I cup her face, lean down, and erase the space between our mouths. She fists my shirt, tugging me closer as I thrust my tongue into her mouth, swallowing the gasp that expels from the back of her throat.
She sounds divine, tastes as good as I remember. I can’t get enough of her. I kiss her greedily, my tongue massaging her, drawing in her saliva. I swallow it and hear her soft pants. I keep one hand on her jaw; the other, I slip it around her waist, pulling her flush against my body.
She slides her hands under my shirt and grips my waist, her fingernails digging into my skin and scratching my back.
I break the kiss, only to tell her, “I can’t get enough of you.” I pant, tugging her lip into my mouth, nipping it. “I never will. Don’t ask me to stop, don’t ask me to move on, don’t ask—”
“Sylas, enough.” She shakes her head, kissing me desperately, our tongues clashing. She’s sucking my lip, moaning and grasping on to my back.
I hiss, meeting each stroke of her tongue, pressing her against my erection, reveling in the way she rubs against it. I groan, slipping my palm down to her ass, cupping it hard.
She moans loud, breaking the kiss, and stares up at me with wide eyes, her pupils blown, lips swollen and wet.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No, don’t,” she pleads, voice wanton and rough. “Don’t stop.”
“Good.” I clutch her hips, shift my leg, and place it between her parted ones. “You want this, don’t you?”
Anna nods, sinking her teeth into her plush bottom lip as I hold her down against my thigh. She whimpers, shuddering as I guide her to rub herself on me.
“Sy…” She muffles her moans, bucking her hips forward. “Fuck.” Her head lolls.
“That’s it, ride it,” I rasp out, watching her eyes grow heavy and her body jerking as she chases her orgasm. “Use me, Anna. Do with me as you please, just like that. Fucking ride it.”
Her hips roll faster, and her breathing grows labored and out of control.
“You’re almost there.” I lift her shirt, cupping her ass, and stare, mesmerized, at the wet stain on my jeans and how drenched her panties are. “Goddamn, Anna. Fucking hell, baby, you’re breathtaking.”
She pants a little louder, eager and desperate until her mouth parts, but as she’s going to moan, it gets trapped in the back of her throat. Her body goes stiff only for a second before it shakes, and she drops her head on my chest, nails digging into my skin.
“Shit,” she groans, sounding disappointed in herself. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. I-I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Anna stutters back a step, tugging her shirt down as her gaze locks on the wet spot on my thigh. She clears her throat, drags her fingers through her disheveled hair.
“I don’t regret it.” I grab her hips, pulling her to me. I’m desperate for this and everything she’s willing to give me. I don’t think she realizes what I’d do for her. “Name it and it’s yours. Let me give it all to you.”
She meets my stare for a beat, and just when I think she might let me, she slips away. “We can’t. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have.”
“Why not? I’m all yours, always have been. What can I do to prove to you—”
“Two weeks ago when I was here, you weren’t okay. And the last time that happened, you weren’t okay.”
My chest feels tight, my heart squeezing painfully. “But I am okay, I’m better. It was a minor—”
“Nothing about your mental health is minor, and I wish you’d see that!” she exclaims. “We can’t do this, not again. I need to go.”
I grab her wrist, preventing her from leaving, desperate to keep her close to me. “I’m better. I’m fine, always have been. Please…” Anxiety claws at me. “Meu bem, I can’t lose you again.”
The despondent smile on her face makes me nauseous. “Maybe in another lifetime.”
“I’m not giving up,” I say, holding on to hope and her.
“You will.” She sounds defeated as she slips away from me, heading inside.
I don’t stop her or say anything. She’s forgotten I’m persistent, and it’s time I remind her.