Chapter 8
Natalie Nolan
“Ahh, I wish I’d known about this sooner.” Chloe sighed contentedly and sank into the water. “I might have to take a longer lunch break in the future to come here.”
Yeah, the pool was without a doubt my favorite area at Ethan’s gym, especially the hours nobody showed up to swim.
“When do you leave tomorrow, by the way?” she asked.
“I’m on a red-eye,” I replied. I swam over to the edge so I could get started on my laps.
And now I didn’t have to dread my upcoming work trip any longer.
I’d sort of pushed it out of my mind because I’d wanted to stay in the present where I’d had such a good thing going with Ethan and my progress, but given how he’d behaved this week, maybe it was a good thing I was going away for a few days.
Something had happened at Jayden’s birthday party last weekend. I couldn’t put my finger on why, but Ethan had distanced himself from me. If I initiated a conversation, he was all for it, and we could lose track of time. But he didn’t bring up anything himself anymore.
Had he noticed that I had sought him out more frequently this week? I mean, he was always around when I was working out, and I freaking loved talking to him. So yeah, I’d stopped to chat a few more times before or after my workouts. Could that be it? Was that why he was retreating?
I only did it when he didn’t look busy, but perhaps it was too much anyway. He was my PT during my scheduled hours.
Dammit.
Chloe and I swam in comfortable silence, and I alternated between slow laps and fast ones. But internally, I was ready to hit up a coffee shop and word-vomit about my conflicting feelings toward Ethan Quinn.
I guessed they’d been building up for a while, but his less-attractive traits had made it so easy for me to be satisfied with the allotted time I got with him.
It was just… Seeing him at Jayden’s party had changed things, and I’d wanted to get stuck in our little bubble the whole day.
Instead, Chloe and Gray had dragged me off around the time the food had been done, and I hadn’t spoken another word with Ethan until it was time to drive home.
He could be so sweet at times. He’d told me to drive safely and get some more rest.
He’d also offered to help me set up a meal plan for my trip, if I needed it.
After a while, I paused to catch my breath and guzzle my water.
Chloe was stretching by the stairs, and I couldn’t help myself.
“What’re the overall thoughts on Ethan in the family?” I wondered.
Predictably, my question triggered my sister’s hitched eyebrow of curiosity. It was famous.
“Why?” she prodded teasingly.
I suppressed a sigh. “Calm down, it’s not like that.”
I was fairly sure. Possibly. Not that it fucking mattered.
Even if I had been interested in him, it wasn’t like I was his type.
The mere thought was insane—and I wasn’t one of those plus-sized women with such low self-esteem.
I knew the world had men out there who’d be plenty interested in me. But Ethan wasn’t one of them.
Chloe shrugged. “According to Gray, Ethan is easy to love and difficult to like.”
Which Gray had told me, word for word. “What does that even mean? He must’ve done something, then, for Gray to love him.”
She smiled. “Apparently, the man is very helpful and generous. If anyone in the family needs something, he’s there.
He’s made sure Darius and Ryan recover physically after their deployments and whatnot.
If Darius doesn’t show up for an appointment, Ethan will drive up into the woods and personally drag Darius to the car.
And when Jayden wanted to learn how to kickbox, Ethan created a program that was child-friendly, ordered equipment, and became the boy’s instructor. ”
Easy to love.
“But then, you know…” She continued. “There’s that other side of him. He’s arrogant. He’s vain. He thinks very highly of himself.”
Difficult to like.
Except, the jury was out. I wasn’t sure he really did think that highly of himself. I’d seen glimpses of something else lurking beneath the surface.
He’d also opened my eyes a little, unknowingly.
Confidence was a good quality. I didn’t want anyone to get confidence and arrogance mixed up.
Ethan was good at his job, and it was okay to say so.
In my eyes, that was something to strive for.
And not to excuse what he’d said when he’d called himself every woman’s type, but he wasn’t too far off either.
I’d lost count of the times my girlfriends and I had commiserated about the dating life, and we’d spoken along those lines.
We didn’t ask for much. Just someone loyal, nice, reliable, steady income… All the traits Ethan had listed.
That said, yeah, he was fucking arrogant—and occasionally obnoxious.
He seemed to be aware of it too. He’d apologized to me.
“It’s okay to move on, doll.”
I knitted my brows together and glanced at Chloe.
“You’ve mourned Brad long enough,” she said.
Jeesh. I wasn’t even thinking about Brad.
“You know we didn’t have the most conventional relationship, right?” I asked carefully.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, he was…” A breath gusted out of me, and I didn’t know where to begin.
Well, actually, I could start at the beginning.
“He was the first friend who stuck around. When we moved, he simply stayed in touch. We’d exchange letters and emails and…
” He’d started every email with, Where in the world is my Army brat today?
He’d brightened my mood. He’d picked me up.
“He was my best friend. We consoled each other when we lost our parents one by one, we traveled together, he left Fayetteville and moved to New York for me, I helped him study for his final exams, and we became roommates. It was so easy to love him.”
Easy to like him too, for that matter.
“I’m sensing a but,” Chloe murmured.
I sighed and returned my water bottle to the edge. “I don’t think either of us felt that burning passion you’re supposed to feel for the one you get engaged to.”
At the time, it’d been okay. Brad and I had prioritized each other anyway, and life had been comfortable. I hadn’t hesitated to accept his proposal. I’d felt utterly fulfilled back then, because we’d had so much fun together.
Admittedly, we’d also sheltered each other from facing insecurities and fears.
Being with him had allowed me to step away from a dating scene that’d only hurt me.
He’d never made me feel like I wasn’t enough because of my weight or whatever.
And he had left his own dating jungle, in which he’d mostly become resigned and frustrated.
We’d gotten together with fresh memories of what it was like to be ghosted, dumped, and disappointed.
We’d been each other’s security blanket for years and years.
“I miss him every day,” I admitted. “Just not as my fiancé, if that makes sense.”
She nodded. “I get it. You remember David. We were similar.”
Of course. Of course. She knew very well.
Gage and Gray’s biological dad had split because he’d been a wanderlusting narcissist, but Gabriel and Gideon’s dad was slightly different, even though he wasn’t around either.
If I remembered correctly, David was a doctor, and he lived and worked in Africa.
At least he felt guilty for following his dreams instead of being with his kids.
But knowing the man Chloe had eventually married, I wasn’t sure the boys had any complaints anymore. Aiden would move mountains for them.
Wasn’t that the dream? To find someone who would move mountains for you.
Evening, Natalie. Are you packed and ready to go?
I was packed and ready to cancel.
Blah.
I responded after wheeling my luggage to the hallway.
I’m packed. And I have my helpful list of snacks and advice in my purse. :)
He’d emailed it earlier, and I was so grateful. These trips tended to be stressful, and I was used to ordering room service or DoorDashing my butt off.
For this trip, I was going to do things differently. I’d order ingredients to make a big salad instead, and I’d called my hotel to make sure I had a fridge in my room.
I wandered aimlessly around my living room while I waited for Ethan to reply.
I had one more workout in the morning and then a couple conference calls.
Gray had kindly offered to drive me to Seattle, but now that my car was working again, I would just leave it in the short-term lot. I’d be back by Tuesday.
The flowers in the windows looked a little sad, so I grabbed the watering can under the sink in the kitchen and went to give them water.
Whoa.
I stopped short when I spotted Ethan across the street, holding the door to the gym. He wasn’t alone.
The blinds were partially closed, so I felt I could snoop.
Was he flirting with that woman?
My stomach knotted with unease, not unlike the time he’d told me about his crappy dates. I didn’t freaking like him or anything—not in that way—but my jealousy wanted to call me a big fat liar.
He couldn’t be flirting with her. She was a big girl too. His charming smile had to be firmly in place because he was simply running a business. Right?
Don’t flirt with her, you manwhore!
Oh my God, what was wrong with me?
The woman laughed at something he’d said, and she was laying it on thick. She twirled her fucking hair and touched his arm.
He soaked it up.
At least he wasn’t flexing in front of her. I hadn’t seen him shirtless all week, come to think of it.
Wrap it up. Ethan, you have a text to reply to.