Chapter 18 Lucy
Lucy
I don’t meet the families of people I date. It’s not something that I want to do, nor is it something I’ve ever earned the privilege of doing.
Today, it’s my sole job to convince people I’ve never met that I’m head over heels. I’m the lovestruck girlfriend who’s just so happy to be meeting my partner’s family. Because meeting your partner’s family is special.
“Today is special,” I say out loud while grabbing my toiletries and packing them into my bag. “You are excited. His family will like you. You got this. You got this, Lucy.”
I finally look at my reflection in the only full-length mirror I have in my apartment.
I opted for a modest, yet feminine, floral sundress.
It’s short-sleeved and goes mid-calf, so it’s child-birthday appropriate.
My hair is in loose curls with the front strands clipped to the back.
The person staring back at me is someone I don’t entirely recognize.
I may as well be wearing a giant clown mask.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Oakley,” I say as I flash a polite smile in the mirror. “Oliver! I’ve heard so much about you!” I exclaim and then start over, less intense. “Oliver, I’ve heard so much about you. What a lovely home you have.”
I knew this weekend would come. Of course I knew it would come. Marsh has given me multiple chances to back out, and while I was tempted, I ultimately need today to happen as much as he does.
My phone buzzes with a text from Marsh saying he’s here.
“Okay,” I huff and take a final look at myself. “You got this.”
I grab my stuff and head out the door. Marsh’s Bronco is parked in front of my apartment with the window rolled down. He’s wearing a linen button-down shirt with a pair of gold-trimmed Ray-Bans. It hurts how attractive I find him lately, but I’m trying to get used to it.
I don’t care what anyone says, there’s something incredibly intimate about being in someone else’s car. Especially on a long drive. As I get comfortable on the leather seat, I wonder how many other people have sat here before me. How many long drives Marsh and Julia took up to see his family.
“That one’s yours.” Marsh settles in the front seat after putting my bag in the trunk. He nods to an iced drink in the cupholder. “Oat latte.”
“Oh my god.” I pick it up and notice it’s from my favorite shop down the street. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I was already getting one for myself,” he says, turning on the car. The navigation system automatically turns on, and I see our ETA to Palo Alto is five hours and two minutes. It’s a lengthy drive, but we knew that going into it and decided driving would be better than flying.
“Well, thank you.” I take a sip and am very grateful for the caffeine.
“You’re welcome,” Marsh says and starts driving.
“Are you excited for today?” I ask.
“I am.” He looks over. “What about you?”
“I’m excited to meet Sadie,” I reach down to my feet and reveal a gift bag that I intentionally hid. “I got her something.”
Marsh looks at me and his lips twist. “Luce, you didn’t have to do that.”
“I know,” I say and set the gift bag in the back seat. “But I wanted to! How often do you turn six?”
“That’s really kind of you.”
“It’s something small, don’t worry. Jonah has a cousin that’s five and he said there are these dolls that kids are loving right now, so I picked her up one of those.”
“She’s going to love it.”
I take another sip of my latte, enjoying the creamy espresso taste. “I haven’t been to the Bay Area in years,” I say. “This is going to be so fun. And I get to spend two whole days with my favorite person—”
“I don’t think Dani will be there.” Marsh takes a sip of coffee as I’m reminded of Julia’s best friend.
I look over at him, mouth open at his joke.
Marsh is quick, witty, and there’s a confidence that’s just so damn sexy.
Feeling my gaze on him, he looks over and then nudges me with his elbow.
Since meeting, I’ve thought a lot about Marshall Oakley.
I did end up finding him on the dating apps and swiped right.
The fact that he hasn’t mentioned it means that he’s, like he said, not actively on them.
One night, I spent an embarrassing amount of time dissecting his profile—looking at every picture, rereading every answer.
Considering the man doesn’t have social media, it was really all I got.
Marsh is absolutely a catch. Once he’s ready, it would take no time at all for him to find someone who wants to be with him. The thought makes me…sad.
“Doesn’t look like there’s going to be any traffic. Actually, we might be early.” Marsh glances at the navigation system. He then reaches over across the console and squeezes my hand in my lap. “If I haven’t said it yet, Lucy, thank you for coming.”
“Of course.” I move my fingers to interlace with his but suddenly it’s cold and bare. Marsh’s hand is back on the steering wheel. “So, uh, Julia…” I say carefully. I don’t want to dampen the mood, but she’s a big piece to all of this. “She’s still coming?”
“It sounds like it,” Marsh says. “Her and her fiancé.”
“Have you met him?” I ask.
“I met him once when Julia came to pick up the last of her mail,” Marsh says casually. “He’s a neurosurgeon, he comes from a wealthy family…seems like a good guy.”
I turn to Marsh, my arm leaning on the console in between us and my mouth agape. “Are you serious right now?”
“What?” He looks over at me, and I see my reflection through his sunglasses.
“This is the fiancé of your ex-girlfriend of nine years and all you have to say is seems like a good guy?”
“What am I supposed to say? He’s a prick?”
“I mean, yeah,” I laugh.
“But he’s not,” he says.
“Well, I’ll see for myself.” I adjust myself back in the seat and watch the road ahead of us.
Marsh turns on the radio, and we drive in silence, only the sound of music filling the car.
In the distance, a subtle view of the California mountains rises on the horizon with the sun as a red-tailed hawk spins in lazy circles.
I put on my sunglasses and stare out the window.
As I watch the beauty of the West Coast in the distance, I allow myself to feel.
I rarely do in the company of someone else.
For a brief moment, I close my eyes in pure bliss and enjoy how easy this feels.
“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” comes on the SiriusXM radio, and I open my eyes.
Marsh is tapping the steering wheel within the first few notes.
His hair is messy from the open window, and his forearm is being kissed by the sun.
His jaw is scruffy, and there’s a glint in his eyes beneath his shades.
His gaze flashes to mine, and we’re both fully aware this feels like a scene from a movie. He sings Marvin Gaye’s part to me immediately, and I break out into the biggest smile and return the sentiment singing Tammi Terrell’s lines. We’re both off-key, singing our hearts out.
Marsh lowers his glasses like he’s a sixties crooner and plays it off perfectly. Meanwhile, I sway in my seat laughing, and I don’t think whatever’s happening can ever be replicated—something so spontaneous and perfect. I’m not even sure if it’s something you could fake.
As the song ends and the next one begins, I wonder if this is what Marsh and Julia shared…even my parents. If this is what most people who fall out of love ever shared. If so, how did they get to the point of letting it go?
My phone buzzes, and when I see Jonah’s name, I immediately open the message.
Jonah:
Are you in the bay area??
Lucy:
Not yet! Still 2 hours away
Jonah:
Still can’t believe you’re doing this. Send pics.
Lucy:
What?? It’s a child’s birthday party
Jonah:
Aren’t you going to SF after? Overnight?
Lucy:
Yeah, so?
Jonah:
Y’all are gonna kiss tonight. That’s crazy.
Lucy:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Lucy:
Who says we’re kissing!?
Jonah:
I mean, the whole point is to make people believe the two of you are dating right? Like you’re *probably* going to be kissing…
My fingers lock and I set my phone down. How has this not crossed my mind? I look over at Marsh, whose eyes are concentrated on the road.
Lucy:
Not necessarily? That would be crazy for him to just kiss me without warning, right?
Jonah:
Idk, weren’t you like dry humping last week?
Okay, dry humping may be accurate, but that doesn’t mean I like the sound of it.
For some reason, the idea of Marsh and me kissing in public makes my heart pound.
The thought of kissing him makes me anxious in a holy-shit-I-would-give-anything-for-him-to-shove-his-tongue-down-my-throat way.
The idea of kissing him in front of his mom and his brother for the first time makes me very nervous.
Lucy:
Fuck.
Jonah:
OR just literally don’t kiss him. Solves everything
Lucy:
That’s the plan but now you’re freaking me out. What if he leans in and kisses me?
Jonah:
Don’t kiss him back
Lucy:
How do you not kiss someone back if their lips are already on yours?
Lucy:
I need to talk to him
Jonah:
Omg I’m so sorry. Everything will be fine.
I let out an exhale and open the window a little bit.
“Everything okay?” Marsh asks.
I look over at him. His perfectly coiffed hair, those fuck-me glasses, and his stupid boyfriend button-down folded over his forearms. “Yeah, just work stuff.”
“I’m going to fill the tank. There’s a spot at the next exit that’s always cheap. You want anything?”
“No, I’m okay. Thank you.”
We park at a little gas station in the middle of nowhere close to Fresno.
As I sit in the car, my eyes stay glued to the window, watching Marsh’s every move.
While we can absolutely go through the weekend without kissing, Jonah’s right: Keeping up this charade for the next two and a half weeks feels like a kiss at some point is inevitable.
Whether it be today, tomorrow, or at the wedding.
I think about my column. The whole point is to build out a narrative that makes readers believe I’m in a committed relationship. I can’t do that if I don’t even know what it’s like to kiss my boyfriend.