Chapter 31 Jack #2
“You will.” I nod. Then, she leans down and kisses me on the cheek. It’s a careless little moment, one that seems like something we’ve done hundreds of times, and as her perfume lingers around me like a ghost, I find myself wishing that were true.
Brooke and co. traipse off after Cynthie as she goes to be laced into her costume, and I make my way toward the big house, where they’re filming this morning.
Along the way, I come across a lot of busy people who are all happy to wave and call out a greeting as I pass.
It’s a good atmosphere, warm, like a homecoming.
Inside Darlcot Manor, Logan and Jasmine have set up ready for the first shot of the day in the room that is supposed to be Emilia’s bedroom.
It’s a relatively straightforward scene: there’s a conversation between Emilia and her maid, and then she pulls out the box where she’s locked away all of Edward’s letters and reads through them.
It might be simple, but it’s always difficult to be in the very first scene of a shoot.
It feels like added pressure that Cynthie doesn’t need. My nerves jump on her behalf.
“Jack, what are you doing here?” Logan asks.
“Hoped you wouldn’t mind me sitting in.”
“All part of your process?” Jasmine asks blandly, which makes me certain she knows more about Cynthie’s emotional state than she’s letting on.
“Something like that,” I agree.
“Well, it’s fine with me,” Logan says. “We’re a bit tight on space, but I’m sure you can find a corner to tuck yourself into.”
In the end, that’s literally the case, and I wedge myself into a folding chair at the back of the room behind the monitors with Arjun.
Fortunately, the rooms in this grand house are enormous, because there are three cameras, lighting rigs, and a huge number of people in here.
I catch the odd, panicked-looking National Trust volunteer paying serious attention to the squeaking floorboards, and hope that we’re not going to bring the building down.
After a few more minutes, Cynthie arrives with Patty, Liam, Hannah, and Brooke’s crew in tow.
The room gets even more crowded. I watch as Cynthie scans the crowd, and my heart lifts when I realize who she’s looking for.
When her eyes find me, I lift my hand and she smiles with a look that might be relief.
Then everything moves very quickly. Cynthie, Logan, and Jasmine block the scene, and any trace of nerves has been ruthlessly suppressed, because Cynthie appears in her element.
She’s changed a lot, I realize. She’s sure of herself in a way she wasn’t all those years ago, and it’s clear she has her own creative vision, because she stops at several points to make suggestions or tweaks.
Jasmine absorbs these suggestions quietly, but Logan leaps on everything she says like an enthusiastic hound on a biscuit.
“Right,” Jasmine says finally. “I think we’re ready to go.”
“First positions,” Arjun pipes up.
“Roll sound.” Jasmine points.
“Sound speed!”
“Roll camera.”
“Camera rolling.”
A young guy steps into shot with a slate. “Scene four, take one.” He claps the slate shut.
“Set,” the camera operator near me says.
“Action,” Jasmine calls.
And we’re off.
It takes about five minutes for me to forget how worried I am.
Then, all I can do is watch as Cynthie delivers a perfect take.
Seeing her on the monitors is a pleasure.
The scene is framed beautifully, and Cynthie is luminous.
It’s impossible to drag your eyes away from her.
When she traces Edward’s handwriting with her fingers and a single tear slides down her face, she tilts her chin and the lighting catches it, crystalline and lovely.
Every line of her body speaks of an impossible heartbreak, when only moments before she’d looked utterly at ease. I’m not the only one holding my breath.
“Cut!” Jasmine shouts, and there’s a spontaneous burst of applause. Cynthie wipes the tear away, and as Liam swoops in to fix her makeup, she glances over in Jasmine’s direction.
“I’d like to try it again, but changing up the pace in that middle section,” Cynthie says briskly.
Even Jasmine can barely suppress a smile. “Sounds good,” she agrees.
“Fuck, she’s incredible,” I murmur.
“I know, right.” Brooke’s voice comes from close beside me.
I practically jump out of my skin. Where did she even come from?
“I wondered if we could steal you for a quick interview? I know you have a busy afternoon.” Her tone is apologetic.
I glance at Cynthie, but she seems fine now, absorbed in the work.
“Sure,” I say, reluctantly.
“Great. We have everything set up next door.” Brooke is all smiles.
I catch Cynthie’s eye and gesture toward Brooke, discreetly rolling my eyes, and she smiles, shoos me off with her hand.
The room next door is empty except for a chair and a small lighting rig. I refrain from mentioning that it looks as though I’m about to be tortured for information, and I try to be as charming as possible as I settle in to answering Brooke’s questions.
“So, is it strange being back here at Darlcot Manor after all these years?”
“Definitely,” I agree. “I thought it’d been a long time since we were here, but suddenly the past feels very close. It’s a good feeling though, like coming back to somewhere that was important to you when you were younger. You know, like where you spent that one perfect summer as a kid.”
“ A Lady of Quality was your first film,” Brooke says. “Did you think of yourself as a kid when you were making it?”
“God, no,” I laugh. “I was twenty-four and I thought I knew it all. Thirteen years can give you a generous dose of perspective.”
“Do you know it all, now?”
“Nope.” I grin.
“We’ve just watched Cynthie filming a scene, and I wondered if that felt different from how it was last time around?” Brooke’s question takes me by surprise, mostly because it’s exactly what had been on my mind.
“Yeah, it’s different. Lady was Cynthie’s first film too, and she was untrained.
It’s miraculous really, that she was capable of the performance she gave—that she had so much raw talent.
She had a lot less control then. It was all instinct and that was…
”—I exhale—“exhilarating, actually, to act against. Although it scared the shit out of me at the time.”
Brooke chuckles.
“I’ve seen the stuff she’s made since, but I haven’t actually watched her work, and what I just witnessed was, well, a master class.
And that’s all Cynthie.” I shake my head.
“She made that for herself, took all her talent and honed it. The control, the composure… it’s different…
” I trail off here, and I can’t help thinking how hard today must have been for her, and how she still managed to turn up and do her job, to do it impeccably.
I’d be willing to bet she doesn’t give herself credit for that.
Perversely, I also think maybe it’s a shame that some of that wild, reckless spirit seems to have left her.
“She was pure joy whenever she was performing back then,” I say distractedly. “It was like looking at the sun come up.”
I catch myself, clear my throat.
“Um, is that all you need?” I ask. “I should really be going.”
“Yes,” Brooke says, with a small, secretive smile that makes me nervous. “That was perfect.”