Chapter 21
SYLAS
Berlin: When the fuck were you going to tell us you have a girlfriend? A GIRLFRIEND!!!!
Frost: Anna Lopez?? The girl from Salt. The girl who bid on you?? There’s no way she agreed to be with you of all people.
Berlin: Does she know she’s your girlfriend?
Frost: Poor thing. She was probably coerced. How’d you do it, Sy? How’d you get her to agree to put up with you?
Since the guys found out about Anna, they’ve been asking questions nonstop. I’ve been ignoring them because I didn’t really know what to say.
Everything was supposed to stop at the auction, then I lied and it evolved into more. Marc knows everything, as does my sister, but that’s as many people as I want knowing.
I could tell the guys—I trust them, but I know Frost is interested.
I don’t care what he says or how he tries to downplay it, since the night at Salt, he’s had his eye on her.
Frost is a good guy, but he’s also an opportunist. I know the moment he finds out it’s fake, he’ll reach out and shoot his shot.
And Berlin, he’s close to Frost, like I’m close with Marc.
Though I shouldn’t be worried, because we’re “dating” whether or not my parents are around. That sounds ridiculous, and in some way, complicated—like Marc and Thea implied the other day.
I know I’m being a little bitch by not forwardly asking Anna if she wants to give this a shot. It’s obvious we’re into each other. It’s obvious something is there. I can’t ignore the way my heart, mind, and body react and gravitate toward her whenever she’s around.
I kept telling myself it wasn’t a crush because I’ve never had one, never felt one, never cared for anyone, but I knew it was real when my first thought this morning wasn’t hockey but Anna.
I thought about how she’d come over today and how I cleaned and felt I did better than last time.
I wondered what earrings she’d wear because every time I see her, she has a different pair on.
If she’ll wear contacts or glasses. If she’ll have her hair up or down or in those space buns.
I keep wondering about things I never did before, craving them even. Things that before Anna were inconsequential to me.
But despite the obvious sexual tension, because there’s a lot of that, I don’t know for sure if Anna likes me.
I could ask but if she says no, it’ll make things weird, and weird is not something I need.
So if pretending is as good as it’ll get, then so be it.
Me: I’m not sure why you’re all surprised. You’ve seen what I look like. Anna liked what she saw, no coercion on my end. I know it’s something you’re used to doing, Frosty, but I didn’t have to manipulate someone into being with me.
Frost: You pretentious piece of shit. Get fucked
Berlin: Sy, I’ve seen you. You’re not all that
Me: I’m here for the bromance. Berlin, your allegiance to Frosty is cute.
Marc: I’ve got nothing to say. I’m just here for the entertainment
Frost: Be serious, Sy. We know you don’t do monogamy. Pretty sure you’re allergic to it, and you probably didn’t know the word existed until today. Are you using Anna to avoid Florence?
Me: Is it really hard to believe I developed feelings?
Berlin: Yes. I’m surprised you know what they are
Frost: I’m surprised you have them for someone that isn’t yourself
I roll my eyes as I contemplate what to say.
Marc: He got jealous when Alex tried to ask her out. So the feelings are there
I know he thinks he’s helping, but I wish he hadn’t told them that. I’m not a jealous person and I don’t want them to know or use her to get under my skin. Despite being my friends, they can be assholes when they want to be.
Frost: The world is ending. Sylas Lenoir Alves jealous? No way
Berlin: No, it did happen. Alex was bitching about him. Now it makes sense. You got jealous? Damn. The world is ending. We’re fucked.
Me: Berlin, fuck you. Everett, you never had a chance with her. Piss off. Marc, shut up. Rowan, fuck you for never saying anything or having my back.
He’s in the group chat but never answers. Pretty sure he has our chat on silent.
It’s childish, but I leave the group chat. A second later, Marc adds me back to it.
Rolling my eyes, I slip my phone in my pocket, swapping it for my lighter. I pick up the gum from the island, grab two minty cubes, pop them in my mouth, and stand by the elevator, waiting for Anna.
I chew hard. My jaw starts to hurt, but I don’t let up. I play with the lighter, watching the flame rise then die out until I repeat the motion again. My head hurts, my shoulder feels tight, and I’m annoyed.
I want a cigarette, but I want Anna more.
Checking the time, I see more messages pop up, but I ignore them and draw my gaze back to the elevator.
Right on time, a soft ping echoes, the doors slide open, and Anna walks out by herself with her cart full of supplies, earbuds blaring Christmas music in her ears.
Her hair is up in a ponytail, she’s wearing these gold Christmas tree earrings and the others are small studs or hoops, she has her contacts on, and she’s in her uniform.
But unlike the other few times I caught her off guard gasping and staring at me wide-eyed, this time she pops out an earbud and lifts a brow, staring at me as if she were asking What are you doing here?
“Don’t look at me like that,” I chastise. “I live here, or did you forget? But let’s not talk about me right now. What are you doing here…wearing that?”
She watches me, dumbfounded, and takes the other earbud out. “Working. You know that. I come here every Monday, Wednes—”
“Anna. Meu bem. Baby.” I wipe a palm down my face. “You’re my girlfriend.” I emphasize. “We said you wouldn’t do this anymore.” I inch closer until she’s craning her neck to look up at me. “We’re still pretending, aren’t we?”
I think she’s wearing makeup because her lashes are thicker, darker, and there’s a glimmer that reflects from her lids. Her usual pink lips are slightly glossy, and she smells good, though she usually does, but it’s different.
She offers me a tight-lipped smile. “Yes, we’re still pretending, but I figured maybe I should still come and clean.”
“Why?” I absently reach for her hand, and when my finger brushes her arm, I hear her breath hitch.
“Because…” Her voice is softer now. “Getting paid for not doing anything feels wrong. And either way, I need to deep clean.”
“I’ve cleaned. Not sure what you mean by deep clean, but I thoroughly cleaned.” I grin at the shock on her face and hook a finger around hers. “I did look up YouTube videos because I had no idea how or where to begin. But you don’t have to worry about anything. As for feeling bad, stop it. Don’t.”
“You looked up videos?” Her jaw falls slack and she looks around me. “What did you clean with? How did you clean? When did you—”
I can’t help myself and cup her cheek. She feels so soft, a little cold, but very good.
“I bought some stuff. Don’t ask me the names because I don’t remember what they’re called.
All I know is that they’re cleaning supplies, they did the job, and the place is clean.
” I did fuck up some of the furniture while cleaning but I can get it replaced.
Is it for sure clean? Probably not. I’ve never cleaned a day in my life. I’ve always had someone do it for me, but now with Anna, I can’t have her do that for me. It seems inappropriate and wrong.
“Sylas.” She looks like she’s having an internal battle, between panic and disbelief. I’m not sure why and I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for her to accept my help.
“Anna.” I slip my other hand around her back, tugging her closer to me.
“I-I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing you need to say. Just accept this new norm. Stop feeling guilty because I don’t and—”
“But what’ll happen when you resume hockey? What’ll happen if your parents stop by and ask why I’m not cleaning? What do I do when I’m not cleaning?”
“I’ll manage. Let me handle it all, and stop worrying.
Come over and hang out, and if I’m away, still come over.
You like to cook and bake, so use my kitchen.
Or, I don’t know…take some time for yourself.
When Thea is overstimulated, she likes to be alone.
If you need that, still come over. You won’t need to come through the way you usually do.
I’ve already given them your name downstairs. Just have your ID with you.”
There’s a mystified look on her face. “You gave them my name? Why?”
“Because you’re my girlfriend.” God, I love that so fucking much.
“Pretend Sylas, this is pretend.” She says that word twice as if I need the reminder. I know it is but pretending is also pretending we’re not faking it.
“I know, Anna. I know,” I try to rein the bubbling annoyance at the unnecessary reminder.
“But you’re still my girlfriend. And it would be weird if you weren’t on the list. My parents would suspect something.
Please just…” I wish I could imbed myself in her brain and replace the stubbornness with willingness to accept us.
“Go with it. Let yourself let me do things for you. Please.”
She appears bashful, hesitant and I almost believe she’ll find a way to not agree but she nods. “Okay.”
I delicately rub her cheek, reveling in how soft it is and how her pupils expand.
“What’s it like?”
Her question confuses me. “What’s what like?”
“How easy everything is.”
My life in almost every aspect has been easy.
It’d be shitty to say it’s not. But there are moments when sometimes I wonder if easy is worth it when so much is at stake.
The way Mom and Dad could easily take everything away and not bat and eye, especially Dad.
He hasn’t voiced it directly, but he’ll often make off-handed comments about me being blacklisted if I don’t do as he says.
I don’t doubt he’d make it happen, but I also know he wants me to play. Either way, I don’t want to find out. All I want is to play hockey. Not have to marry Florence. And see where this pretend thing with Anna leads to.