Chapter 18 Ivy
Ivy
“Do you think the King’s in there right now?” Peter asks as we all stand near the Queen Victoria Memorial, looking at Buckingham Palace.
“I think there’s a specific flag that flies up there if he is.
We’ll have to look it up,” I answer. I try to run my fingers through my curls, but they are a tangled mess.
The humidity today has them beyond their normal out-of-control nature.
When I’m at home, I have products to combat the North Carolina humidity, but I didn’t bring my entire arsenal.
Who cares? I’m not trying to impress anyone.
“Hey, look!” Juniper calls out. “Those girls are doing a dance in front of those guards, and the guards aren’t even smiling!”
I think I could be a guard here. They wouldn’t make me smile either, even if I liked it. I watch one girl start twerking. Nevermind. I would have negative reactions all the time. I wonder if whoever is in charge monitors for eye rolls. I’d be fired on day one.
“I wish we’d been able to schedule a tour,” Val says. “I think the kids would have liked it.”
“A tour of a huge old house? Pass,” Peter says, like he doesn’t realize he’s talking about one of the most famous houses in the world. And it’s a palace. Come on, Peter.
I line my family up in front of the palace and take their picture. I see a notification of an email from my contractor. I read it, then collapse on the nearby steps.
He is estimating an additional month for repairs and fifteen thousand more dollars. I’m not terribly shocked about the money—there were things I wanted to upgrade while we were doing this—but seeing it spelled out, is staggering on top of losing another month’s worth of income.
Ugh. I want comfort food.
“Can we eat at that place we ate on our first night? The one with the fish and chips?” I ask Val, who has walked over, looking concerned.
“Sure, as far as I’m concerned. I wanted to try everything on that menu. And I’m sure Micah doesn’t care. Food is just fuel. Weirdo.”
I smile absently as Val sits on the step beside me.
“Are you alright?” she asks.
I stretch my feet out in front of me. “I just got an email from my contractor. It’s going to be more expensive and take longer than anticipated.”
“I’m sorry, that stinks. You just now got that email? You’ve been in a funk all day.”
I sigh. I guess I’ll tell her. She’ll start to wonder eventually anyway. “I told Alex it wouldn’t work, and I didn’t see any reason to keep seeing each other while we’re here. It would just end in heartbreak.”
My sister is silent for a moment, looking down at her shoes, before she turns to look over at me. “This is just like you. It’s not simple. You don’t feel like you can trust it, or make sure it fits into what you see for your life or your future, so you don’t give it a chance.”
“Not simple? I started a business. Do you think that was simple?”
“No, of course not. But you had everything planned to the letter. You made it fit into the mold for your life.”
“Or did I change the mold for my life to include the restaurant?” I stand, frustrated.
And, honestly, I don’t know if I’m more frustrated with Val for being partially right, or with myself.
I’m inflexible and untrusting. Those don’t sound like positive characteristics, but until now they’ve served me well.
Who’s to say they aren’t still? “I can change for the things that seem worth it. I can weigh the cost versus the benefit.”
“And somehow you’ve already deemed Alex lacking in benefit?” She looks at me, shaking her head, then stands. “You’re never—”
“I’m a realist. It’s an impossible situation where one or both of us would have to give up the life we love.
I don’t want to do that, and I wouldn’t ask that of him.
” I’m breathing hard. This is similar to arguments we’ve had before, but this time it’s hitting me a little harder.
“And I certainly don’t want someone who will be in my life part-time. We’ve had enough of that.”
She nods slowly. “Do you know that he loves his life?” Val says, her voice soft as she takes my hand. “What if he doesn’t, and you miss something that would have been amazing?”
I have to believe amazing is waiting for me back in North Carolina, and this with Alex will become a crazy story I tell. Some people are impressed by actors. Not me, obviously.
Well, I might be impressed by this one, but it has nothing to do with his profession.