Chapter 15
What happened last night was troubling her. He was sure of it. Raashi hadn’t spoken a word to him ever since he’d fetched her and thanks to the crazy Mumbai traffic they’d been stuck at the same signal for half an hour with nothing but silence between them.
The only interaction they’d had was when he had greeted her politely after she had entered his car. But she’d responded with an imperceptible nod. She hadn’t spoken a word to him since then.
As the signal turned green, Sameer moved the car forward and gave her a sideways glance. She was still staring outside her own window, lost in thought. He yearned to know what she was thinking. And if her silence continued like this, the drive to the villa would become insufferable.
Suddenly, she turned her head towards him. He raised a single eyebrow to her in question. She turned her face away and looked straight ahead instead.
“You know it was a mistake, right?” she said, still not looking at him.
“What was?” Sameer asked.
Raashi turned to face him. “Don’t make this difficult for me, Sameer.” She took a deep breath and continued, “But if you want me to say it aloud, I sure will. Last night was a huge, terrible mistake.”
Sameer frowned before concentrating on the fast moving traffic again.
“Which part?” he questioned her.
“What?” Raashi gasped.
“I want to know which part you think was a mistake. When you melted in my arms, or when you were begging me to kiss your body or when I put a stop to it all? What exactly have you taken so much of an offence to?” Sameer threw a cool glance at her now flushed face.
“Damn you, Sameer! All of it! I took offence to all of it,” Raashi fumed. “It started with that kiss I gave on your cheek. I was just so overwhelmed, I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have gone anywhere near you. But you couldn’t resist, could you? It’s all your fault.”
Raashi refused to look at him directly as she made the statement because in all honesty, he was not entirely to blame as she had done nothing to stop him.
She had encouraged him, in fact. Although, that was not something she was going to accept, aloud.
She had chastised herself enough during her long sleepless night.
It was just easier to put the blame on him. He was almost engaged to someone else. She had to make it clear to him that it could never happen again.
Through the corner of his eye Sameer saw her fiddling with her handbag, looking anywhere but at him.
It was obvious from the dark smudges under her eyes that she had had a sleepless night.
Good! He wanted to invade her dreams, her mind, every aspect of her life, till she was left with no choice but to let him in again.
Let him into the closely guarded wall she had built around herself.
His lips twitched as his mouth curved at the edges.
Raashi caught him smiling – that was so not the response she had expected from him.
Furious, she said, “I’m glad you find this situation amusing!”
Sameer chuckled at her sarcasm. “You’re a hypocrite,” he said casually, his eyes still on the road.
“I am not,” Raashi scowled.
“If you weren’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation now, would we?
You’re just blaming me because you refuse to accept that you were very willing last night.
You wanted me with as much passion as I wanted you and if I hadn’t stopped when I did, you know we would have ended up making love on that table. ”
Raashi felt her face go red as he spoke.
Her eyes dropped. “No, I would not have let it go that far.”
“Deny it as much as you want sweetheart, but you were with me all the way. You would never have stopped me last night. You can’t help yourself when it comes to me. And believe me, the attraction is definitely mutual,” he pointed out.
Raashi was furious with him and with herself. She was also angry that he had stated the absolute truth. She closed her eyes for some courage.
“I’m not going to let you do this to me again, Sameer. The last time I fell for your charm, I ended up feeling used. This time I am stronger. So I am NOT going to give in to you no matter what happened between us last night.”
Sameer took his time to reply. She was right. So, he said the one thing that was long overdue. “I am sorry.”
She jerked her head towards him, looking puzzled. “You’re apologizing for last night?”
“No, not last night. I am sorry about that other night, our first time together. I am sorry for hurting you. I shouldn’t have left you that night.
I should have stayed with you till the next morning as you’d requested me to.
I should have stayed to see if that night led us somewhere – to a new beginning perhaps.
But to be honest, I was just not prepared for you.
The impact of you! That night was the most fulfilling night of my life.
It was perfect. You were perfect, too perfect in fact for someone like me. ”
A pained expression crossed his handsome face.
Raashi shut her eyes tight. Ever since that night, she had been filled with doubts about herself. Now hearing him say those words seemed to take a weight off her chest.
Sameer continued. “I was emotionally broken before you came into my life. You made me feel again Raashi. Feelings that I’d buried long ago washed over me like a tidal wave that night.
And I was afraid, so afraid to get hurt again that I did what I thought was best for me.
I ran away from you, away from probably what could have been the best thing in my life.
But that was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have stayed back and...”
Raashi cut him off before he could finish.
“Stop. Please. Just stop.” She shook her head. “Why? Why now? Why are you apologizing to me after all these months?”
“Raashi I...” but she cut him off again.
“Please, let this not be about the land. I am here, am I not? So, there is no need for you to...” she splayed her hand out in front of her.
He caught her hand in a tight grip. “This has nothing to do with the land. This is about you and me. I want you in my life, Raashi. And I know, you feel the same. Let me do it right this time.”
She tried to free her hand but he only gripped it tighter.
The heat of his fingers singed her skin as his thumb pressed on the pulse point in the center of her wrist. Her pulse leapt, going wild.
His eyes moved from her face to her wrist and then to her face.
He knew the effect he had on her, no matter how hard she denied it, he’d always known.
His gaze smoldered, she saw his irises darken in answering need to the want she felt for him and then he blinked and turned towards the road again.
He released her hand and placed his own hand back on the steering wheel.
Swerving to the side of the road, he slowed the car and stopped on a side street.
There was absolute silence between them, broken only by the low hum of the car engine.
Sameer scraped a hand down his jaw. He shouldn’t have touched her, it had been a mistake to touch her and assume that he wouldn’t be affected by it.
That she was also equally affected had been obvious, to him and to her.
He turned to look at her. But she stared ahead in the distance, refusing to meet his gaze.
Raashi was speechless. This attraction between them was extremely intense and scary. And his side of the story had confused her already muddled emotions even more.
“Raashi,” she heard him call out softly.
She pretended not to hear him, hoping that he would let it go. She shut her eyes tight, unwilling to answer. But, instead he said again, louder this time, “Raashi!”
She exhaled before she faced him. “Yes.”
“You know we have to sort out all this between us. Please hear me out.”
“No, Sameer,” Raashi said, “just drop it. Frankly, I don’t care anymore. All I want is that you do not touch me again, ever.”
“I can’t do that.”
“For God’s sake, Sameer, think about Natasha, you’re with her now. You’re thinking of marrying her. How can you be so heartless to commit to her and carry on with me too at the same time?” she asked bitterly.
“I am not going to marry her,” Sameer looked straight in her eyes.
“Of course you are,” Raashi was unable to believe him.
“No, Raashi, I am not. I broke it off with her, though I am not sure that is the correct word to use, since there was nothing really going on in the first place. But the fact is that it is all over between us. For good this time.”
Raashi tried to deny the intense relief she was feeling at his words. For weeks now she had felt burdened by the unhappiness that haunted her whenever she thought of Sameer with Natasha and now suddenly she felt lighter.
She looked at him and saw the truth in his eyes.
“Why?” she asked plainly.
“Because I realized that I don’t feel a thing for her. Not even one iota of what I feel for you.”
Her jaw dropped for a second before she closed it. There were so many things she still wanted to know so she asked, “But you…Natasha and you were in a serious relationship in the past. And Natasha…wasn’t she...she was the only woman you ever loved, isn’t it?”
Damn! She was mumbling like an idiot now. His latest declaration had shaken her up.