Chapter 1 #3
‘Oh, there are. And wanting either more or less sex than usual is just one of them.’ Odette nodded sagely and then began reeling off a list of other signs that a partner was cheating, counting each item off on her fingers as she did.
‘There’s taking more care of his appearance, being secretive about his phone and seeming more distant.
Then there’s working late or starting up new hobbies that keep him out of the house, spending money he can’t account for, and criticising you more.
Oh and mentionitis, where he can’t stop bringing up her name, that’s a big one. ’
Pippa laughed. ‘You sound like a divorce lawyer. How do you know all of this?’
‘Because when Céline thought her husband was cheating, we did our research.’ Odette wrinkled her nose. ‘And he was of course. I felt so bad for my sister, but he was ticking every box. I bet James isn’t.’
Odette looked at Rowan expectantly, and she wanted to be able to reassure herself and her friends that none of those things applied to James, but it wasn’t true.
He did seem more distant and he was out of the house more often, but he didn’t fit the description in other ways and, unlike Odette’s sister, Rowan couldn’t tick every tell-tale sign off the list.
‘I wondered if it might be Izzy. They’re spending a lot of time together, but he doesn’t really mention her in between, there’s no unexplained spending and he never criticises me. The opposite if anything.’ Rowan sighed heavily.
‘Well surely that’s a good thing then.’ Pippa put an arm around her shoulders and Rowan desperately tried to blink back the tears burning her eyes.
‘I don’t know if it is. At least if there was someone else, I could pin a reason on why everything feels as if it’s changing.
But it’s like he’s slowly pulling away instead and there’s a distance between us that makes me feel so lonely.
If that’s happening and there’s no one else involved, it’s almost worse, because it means he’s had enough of us – of me – and I don’t think there’s any coming back from that. ’
‘Oh Row, it won’t be that.’ Pippa pulled her in for a hug.
‘There’ll be something else going on with work that he hasn’t told you about.
You know what he’s like when he’s supporting someone going through a crisis, it consumes him.
He’s just got this tendency to take other people’s problems on as his own. That’s all it will be.’
‘It’s true. He was like that when Graham Johnson was going through that disciplinary process, before the old head left.
’ Odette lowered her voice, as if even in an empty staffroom someone might overhear them.
‘You would have thought it was James facing the sack, and it took him months to get over the fact that he couldn’t help Graham keep his job.
He’ll just be navigating someone else’s crisis again.
Once it’s over, you’ll get him back, like you did last time. ’
‘I hope so.’ Rowan sighed again, but far less heavily this time.
She hadn’t intended to offload any of this on her friends, but she was so glad she had because the idea of her marriage being over felt far less inevitable.
She didn’t want her children to go through what she’d faced in the wake of her parents’ horribly messy divorce.
It had resulted in Rowan’s life being split between Cornwall and London, a mountain of bitterness, and her family being the subject of gossip in Port Agnes for years.
Things between her and James might not be perfect and sometimes she felt lonely in her marriage, but she still loved him.
He was her best friend, he had been since she’d met him when she’d first moved to London, and she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.
Pippa and Odette were right, she was allowing her fear of history repeating itself to make mountains out of molehills and she needed to stop before she drove a wedge between herself and James that was entirely of her own creation.
‘I know so.’ Pippa nodded, emphasising her certainty. ‘I also know that what we need is a night out. One where we’re no one’s mums, teachers or boss, and I think tonight is as good a night as any.’
‘James is doing a shift at the food bank tonight, so I’ve got the kids and I said I’d be home by six, but you could come for a takeaway and some drinks at mine?
’ Rowan couldn’t keep the hopeful note out of her voice; she hadn’t realised how much she’d needed a night with her closest friends until Pippa had suggested it.
‘No, absolutely not, we need a proper night out.’ Pippa whipped her mobile phone out of her pocket. ‘I’ll text Daniel now and let him know that Bella and Theo will be having a sleepover at ours tonight.’
‘You can’t just drop that on him.’ Rowan was pretty sure this wasn’t how Pippa’s husband had envisaged spending his Friday evening.
‘I’ll make it up to him tomorrow night.’ Pippa grinned and Rowan tried not to let uneasy feelings about her own relationship wash over her again.
Comparison was the thief of joy, she knew that, and just because she and James weren’t having sex, it didn’t mean their marriage was over.
When she’d had girls’ nights out in the past with Pippa and Odette, and one of them was approached by some sleazy chancer who wouldn’t take no for an answer, it had made them appreciate their partners all the more.
None of them were married to the kind of creepy guys who sat down uninvited, making leery comments about their bodies and trying to force them to accept unwanted drinks.
Pippa was right, she needed a night out to get things into perspective and to appreciate how lucky she was to be married to someone as kind and caring as James.
Living and working at the school was intense, and a change of scene would do her the world of good.
‘If you’re sure Daniel won’t mind, the kids would love that. What about you, Odette? Can you make it?’
‘That’s the glory of having teenagers. They’ll be up in their rooms and they won’t know whether I’m there or not, as long as there’s food in the house.
’ Odette rolled her eyes. ‘Seb is home tonight anyway and I suspect he’ll be only too glad to order pizzas in for them all.
I don’t really like takeaway pizza, so they’ll all be thrilled to get the chance to eat junk food and watch sport all evening long. ’
‘It’s a date then.’ Pippa gave Rowan’s shoulders a squeeze. ‘We’ll leave mine about quarter to seven. How about cocktails and tapas at Positano’s for a kick off, and then we’ll see where the night leads us?’
‘Sounds perfect to me.’ Rowan breathed out slowly.
It really did sound like the perfect night, and she was more thankful than ever to have such good friends who’d never stopped treating her like she was one of the gang, despite the direction her career had taken.
There was so much in her life that she had to be grateful for and she was certain that by the end of the night she’d be able to reel off a list even longer than the one Odette had shared.
* * *
‘You do know that flossing stopped being a thing more than five years ago, don’t you?
’ Odette raised her eyebrows as Pippa tried for the third time to perfect the deceptively difficult dance move that somehow left her looking like one of those inflatable tube men outside second-hand car dealerships.
‘I just want my arms and hips to move in unison the way they’re supposed to, but it’s like rubbing your belly and patting your head at the same time.
’ Pippa pulled a face as she tried again, managing this time to look as stiff and awkward as the Tin Man.
‘Anyway, flossing, like twerking, is timeless.’
‘I don’t think they are timeless and, judging by the looks we’re getting, no one thinks that women approaching forty should be doing either move.
’ Rowan looked over at a group of young women at the far end of the bar, who seemed to be using Pippa as their main source of entertainment.
When Odette had suggested they go on to a Cuban place that had a dance floor, it had sounded like a great idea, but Rowan hadn’t expected the average age of the clientele to be around twenty.
She’d spent the whole night furtively glancing around to make sure none of the sixth formers from school were there. That would have been mortifying.
‘They just don’t know a good dancer when they see one,’ Pippa said loudly, gesticulating towards the younger women.
She’d begun downing cocktails as soon as they’d got to Positano’s, at a rate that neither Odette nor Rowan had been able to keep up with.
They’d been in the Cuban for less than half an hour and she’d already downed two more mojitos.
‘We should go to The Moonlight Room, it’s over-thirties night on a Friday. ’
‘God that sounds grim.’ Odette took the words out of Rowan’s mouth.
‘It really isn’t. I promise you.’ Pippa was starting to slur her words slightly. ‘I went there with the rest of the English department for Henrietta Grange’s leaving do and most of the other people in there were over fifty. I haven’t felt that young in years.’
Pippa’s laugh was getting louder too, and Rowan exchanged a look with Odette, who was shaking her head. ‘That just makes it sound worse. It’ll be full of divorced men, bitter about life and blaming women for their problems, but still desperate to take one home.’
‘I don’t care, I just wanna dance!’ Pippa did an extravagant twirl, very nearly knocking a member of staff who was carrying a tray of empty glasses flying.