Chapter 5
Rowan had been back living in Port Agnes for four days, but the first time she’d been to visit, a week after discovering James’s affair, her mother had greeted her with the tea and sympathy she’d expected.
Except the tea had been wine and even the sympathy had taken a different form than Rowan had expected.
Of course Katrina had expressed sadness for what her daughter was going through, but she hadn’t ripped James apart the way Rowan had thought she might.
A tiny part of her had felt aggrieved that her mother didn’t think James was the devil incarnate for cheating on his wife and children, and lying to Rowan for over twenty years about his true sexuality, but then Katrina had embarked on an affair that had ripped her own marriage apart.
There might not have been two decades of lying about who she was, but she could hardly take the moral high ground on fidelity.
Rowan knew that her mother’s decision to leave her father had been the best thing for all of them.
Katrina had gone from being distracted and unhappy, back to the loving mother she’d been when Rowan was a little girl.
Her father and Marion seemed made for each other, and now that they were all finally getting along much better it was far harder to resent her mother for what had happened.
Rowan hoped her children would come to feel that way much sooner than she had done, but it was a relief to have her mum on hand for support in the meantime, especially when it came to taking care of the children.
‘I’ll be back by four.’ Rowan had done a quick mental calculation in her head before confirming how long she’d be out.
She was going into school to meet with a few of the staff who were making preparations for the start of term, and then she was going to see her dad and Marion on the way home.
Although she hadn’t mentioned that last bit to her mum.
‘It’s no problem, sweetheart, don’t rush.
Me and Dean are taking the kids to the beach while this weather keeps up, so you might be home before us.
’ Rowan’s mother suddenly fixed her with a quizzical look and asked the question she’d been dreading since she’d been back living full time in Port Agnes.
‘Are you seeing your dad and Marion soon?’
‘I—’ For a second or two, Rowan considered lying, but that was something she promised herself she wouldn’t do.
There’d been far too many lies over the years and it was a tradition in her family that she was determined to put an end to.
‘I’ve spoken to them on the phone three times since we got here, but today is the first chance I’ve had to get over there.
I’m going to pop in on the way home because Marion has got some bits she bought the kids. ’
Even though her parents were now getting on far better with one another, Rowan braced herself for her mother’s response.
When Bella had been born, Katrina had got very huffy about what the baby might end up calling Marion.
Before that, money had always been a bone of contention.
Her father was a wealthy man and things had always been a bit more of a struggle for her mum and Dean, at least until they’d inherited his mother’s place.
Rowan had heard it all over the years, and was fully expecting Katrina to say something along the lines of: ‘How nice for Marion, of course she’s got the children something, it must be so lovely having money to splurge like that, because I walked away without taking anything from your father.
She forgets that you know, when she acts all high and mighty like the perfect wife.
I bet her ex would have something to say about that.
She left him for your father so quickly that the poor sod must have whiplash. ’
It was word for word what her mother had said to her in the past, but Katrina’s response this time couldn’t have shocked Rowan more if she’d whipped off the floppy straw hat she was wearing to reveal a pink mohawk underneath.
‘Oh brilliant. Can you give her this?’ Her mother grabbed a jar from the dresser.
‘It’s some comfrey and mallow foot balm.
She hurt her foot when we were line dancing last Wednesday, and I swear by this stuff.
Nowhere in the village stocks it, but I picked up a jar when I was in Truro yesterday.
Tell her she needs to get it sorted quickly, because line dancing isn’t the same without her. ’
There was so much to unpack from what her mother had just said that for a moment Rowan just stood there and she had to blink three times to make sure this wasn’t some weird kind of dream.
‘You go line dancing with Marion? I know you two can finally be in the same room these days, but I had to reorganise the seating plan at my wedding three times because of how you felt about Marion. And now you’re line dancing. Together.’
Katrina sighed and shook her head. ‘I know, and I wish I could go back and change all of that, it was so stupid. We all had this pent-up resentment for years. Your dad was angry at me and Dean for what happened, and I was bitter about Marion jumping into my shoes so quickly when she was my friend and I’d told her about problems between me and your father.
Looking back I even found myself wondering if she’d encouraged me to leave him, because she wanted to take my place.
So when it first happened, I never wanted to talk to them again and I’m sure they felt the same.
Things are so much better now, I just wish I’d done it sooner, because I missed Marion, and even your dad too in some ways.
Now I’ve got them back and we’re not just civil any more, we’re friends again. ’
‘So what changed?’ Rowan sank down on to a kitchen chair hoping that her mother might be able to come up with some kind of secret formula that could help her view James as a friend again.
‘It was easy when we were living in London to pretend they didn’t exist and vice versa.
When we got back home that got harder. I kept bumping into Marion at various things and finding myself avoiding places, or not joining groups because I knew she was a part of them.
We were forced to start acknowledging each other’s existence and that made it easier for us all to be around each other at things like the kids’ birthday parties. ’
‘I was so pleased when I stopped having to have two birthday celebrations, although I think the kids were a bit disappointed.’ Rowan gave her mother a wry smile. ‘But that’s very different from actively hanging out together.’
‘I know and I really didn’t think we’d get back to the point where we’d choose to, not unless we had to come together for you or the kids.
But then, about six months ago, Nicky Jones started a line dancing class in the village hall.
It was something I’ve always wanted to do, but the first night I showed up, Marion was there.
She smiled and asked me if I was as nervous as she was about messing up and we started reminiscing about the aerobics sessions we used to go to together and how bad we were at following the steps.
After the class, we went out for a drink, and the landlord had to throw us out in the end because we were still talking at closing time!
She admitted that when we’d first come back to take over Dean’s mum’s cottage she’d prayed we’d sell up and go again as soon as possible.
And I told her that’s exactly what we’d discussed doing, but because we both loved Port Agnes so much we decided to stay, even if it meant dodging your father and Marion for the rest of our lives, unless you were there too.
We laughed at how stupid that idea was and we talked about everything that had happened.
Within minutes of sitting down I remembered why I’d liked Marion so much in the first place and why we’d been best friends, and now I’d say we’re pretty close to being back to that. ’
‘Wow.’ Rowan blinked a few times again, to make sure this really wasn’t a dream. ‘Why didn’t you tell me that things had moved on so much between you?’
‘I was planning to and then everything happened with James. After that it was a whirlwind of you going for interviews and getting the job at the school. Then trying to find a place for you to live. It didn’t seem like a priority to tell you about me and Marion and I felt guilty for everything we’d put you through, when we could have sorted all of this out years ago.
But now I think about it, in some ways the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. ’
‘What do you mean?’
‘We made some terrible mistakes and the person that cost the most was you.’ Katrina moved to stand behind Rowan’s chair and put an arm around her shoulder.
‘Whatever James has done, and there’s no denying he was in the wrong, please don’t waste all the years we did on being bitter and angry, or hating him.
James isn’t a bad person, deep down you know that, he just did a bad thing.
I suspect you’re already doing a far better job of putting your feelings to one side, because of how much you love the children.
But I want you to let go of the anger and resentment for yourself too, it’ll only end up causing you more pain in the end if you don’t. ’