10. Vivian
Chapter ten
Vivian
It’s a quick drive downtown and I find a parking space less than a block away from the bar. I park and lock my car as I walk toward the best little bar in town. O’Dell’s has the charm of an old Irish pub with the strong drinks to ensure authenticity. As I walk in, I notice MK and Lauren at a high top near the back wall. “Vivi!” Lauren looks beautiful as always in a light blue sundress as she gets up and wraps me in a big hug. “You look hot, mama!” she tells me as I look down at my black tank top and cream paperbag waist shorts I paired with sparkly wedge sandals.
“Thanks honey, I knew I was out with you bombshells tonight so I had to keep up.” I lean over to hug MK whose hair has a fresh blowout, with perfectly manicured nails, and a lacey lilac romper that looks like it was made for her. “If you weren’t one of my best friends, I might have to hate you for being so perfectly put together, MK!” I tease.
“Oh please, go on. Tell me more about how fabulous I am, darling.” She laughs in response as Brittany and Willa arrive, joining our table.
“Our girl is finally home!” Brittany declares to the entire bar as she pulls me into a hug. “It’s about damn time. I’ve missed your beautiful face so much.”
“I’m so happy to be home. Although, I might miss your legendary rage voice note soliloquies. Feel free to occasionally pretend I still live in Chicago whenever you get the itch to vent,” I jokingly tell her.
“Hey, I can’t help it but that last one was totally justified. I’ve ordered the same sandwich from there for six years and they just change their bread out of the blue? Without warning? I was not prepared, and we better change the subject or I’m going to give you an in-person rage soliloquy.”
“And that sounds like my cue for the first round of drinks.” MK waves to the bartender, who brings over a tray of lemon drop shots. “To being blessed with the best girls growing up and being reunited with the best friends a girl could hope for, welcome home, Viv!”
“Woooo! At least we aren’t required to start these nights with straight tequila anymore,” Lauren says as she sets down her shot glass with a grimace.
“Honey, no one wants a repeat of Spring Break 2012!” Brittany declares as we all shudder at the memory. To this day, I’ve never been as hungover as I was on that trip. “Also, Zander is off tonight so I voluntold him to be our driver when we close O’Dell’s down.”
“Voluntold?” Lauren scrunches her eyebrows in confusion.
“Yes, I told him, but made it sound like he wanted to do it, so I voluntold him,” she replies with a wink.
“So he agreed with sober Brittany knowing he would end the night with drunk Brittany in his bed?” Willa giggles.
“Obviously, but no guarantees we make it to the bed, although I will try to keep my hands to myself until y’all are home safely. Really, it’s a win all around!” Brittany laughs as she toasts another round of shots that appeared out of nowhere.
“I ordered a few rounds and told them to stagger the delivery,” MK explains when she notices I was looking for where the shots came from. “Speaking of rounds, don’t look now y’all, but the wicked witch of west Tennessee looks like she’s starting early tonight.” MK lifts her head toward the bar.
I subtly turn to see who she’s talking about. Leaning against the bar is an obviously annoyed Chase Riley, rolling his eyes as his girlfriend Chloe goes off about something. “I bet Chase did something outrageous like smiled at the bartender or maybe held the door open for someone. How dare he!” MK mockingly says. Her husband and Chase are still best friends, but MK is not a fan of Chloe.
“I don’t get it; Chase is so nice. Why does he put up with her?” I ask the table. “We never fought when we were together but they seem to do that a lot, and they’ve only been dating for what, maybe six months?”
“Yeah, I think it started on New Year’s Eve, unfortunately for all of us that are friends with Chase.” MK grimaces.
“She must be just absolute magic in bed,” Brittany chimes in as we all break out laughing. “Men will put up with a lot of crazy for fantastic sex. I bet her crazy makes it even hotter.” MK puts her finger on her nose, forcing all of us to cackle with laughter.
“Uh oh, don’t make eye contact, you might melt!” Willa declares just a little too loudly, which does nothing to help our giggles.
“Speaking of melting, and definitely talking about my husband, I have to tell you girls the funniest thing from the other night,” Brittany says as MK shakes her head.
“No, stop, for the love!” MK protests but we all know Brittany is going to keep going. This is not the first time Brittany has brought up her sex life with her husband, who is also Drew’s cousin, and while MK always protests the story telling, she always loses.
“Oh come on, MK. Put on a sexy piece of lace lingerie, step out of your safe little box, and accept that orgasms are important in every relationship!” Brittany teases our friend .
“Listen, I’m all for orgasms, lots and lots of them, but Zander is basically Drew’s brother. It’s weird, y’all!” MK’s protests fall on deaf ears. I reach over and pat her arm, trying to hold back my laughter.
“What happened, honey? Tell us and ignore MK, she can put in some earplugs,” Willa says.
“Well, have any of you ladies read that shifter mafia romance that came out last month by CJ Adams?” Brittany slyly asks our table.
“That’s on my Tbr list right now. Was it good?” I ask her.
“Oh girl, yes, it is so good, and it is hot. Like I would rate it a solid five on the spice scale. There is a scene during the full moon where the FMC explores breath play and I thought that could be a fun way to add some spice to my life, right?” MK’s eyes go wide as she processes what Brittany just said.
“And did you?” Lauren asks as she leans in toward Brittany.
“Our favorite book boyfriends are all basically written by women, right? But my husband is open to spicing things up, so I thought it could be fun,” Brittany goes on. “I guess I shouldn’t have assumed he would understand what I was saying when I suggested breath play. Y’all, we were sitting on the couch when I brought it up and he tried to put me in a damn headlock!”
We all dissolve in laughter, even MK was trying to catch her breath from crying so hard. “Did you tell him it’s called wearing a hand necklace, not going to wrestle-palooza?” I ask as I try to catch my breath from laughing so hard.
“That’s what I get for being fun. I get my ass put on the floor and pissed off at my husband. Needless to say, it did not end in his favor and no one got to play that night, breath or otherwise,” Brittany says as she wipes away tears from laughing so hard.
“Can you obnoxious heifers keep it down?” A snotty voice declares from behind me. I know exactly who it is without having to turn around .
“Hey Chloe, sorry, were we being too happy?” Lauren responds with mock concern in her voice. “I didn’t mean to alert the fun police!”
“If you’re still experiencing an allergic reaction to joy and fun, you might want to see someone about that,” Brittany adds as Chloe rolls her eyes at us. “It can be a serious medical condition with severe side effects of being a frigid bitch.”
Chloe shoots daggers at Brittany but before she can say anything, Chase interrupts her. “Hey ladies,” Chase says as he walks up to our table to pull Chloe a step back from us. “Are y’all playing nice or causing trouble?” Chase smiles at us, knowing us well enough that we won’t back down from Chloe starting a silly fight.
“We are just enjoying a fun girls’ night out, free from men and our babies. We wanted to welcome Vivian back home officially. We’re so happy to have our girl back,” MK speaks up. “I’d invite you to join us, but it’s ladies only tonight,” MK speaks directly to Chase, not acknowledging Chloe nor her obvious bad attitude.
“Just to be clear, not all of us are excited to have you back in town, or even want you here,” Chloe says as she blatantly gives me a dirty look. “In fact, I think—”
“Chloe! Seriously, enough, come on. I’m sorry Vivian, she didn’t mean that,” Chase interrupts his girlfriend.
“Oh no, I definitely meant it.” Chloe steps forward toward our table. “Your little clique might be rolling out the red carpet, but you should really remember who and what does not belong to you and keep to yourself. Or even better, go on back to Chicago,” she declares while she snakes a hand around Chase’s waist.
Chase rolls his eyes and tries to pull away from her death grip on him. “Stop.” Chase shakes his head at Chloe. “Excuse us ladies, we’re going to head out, sorry y’all, have a nice night. Come on Chloe, let’s go.” Chase turns to leave as Chloe looks at our table .
“I can’t wait to get out of here either, babe. The vibe is a bit trashy tonight,” she calls loud enough for us to hear.
“Damn it, knock it off, Chloe!” Chase reprimands her and yanks on her hand to pull her away from our table, raising his hand in an apologetic wave as he pulls Chloe toward the exit.
As they make their way to the exit, MK says, “I just don’t get it, I don’t get what Chase sees in Chloe. Ever since she didn’t make the varsity cheerleading squad in high school, she’s been just straight up mean and rude. She’s the one always causing a scene and yet she insults us? I mean, if she thinks the vibe is trashy, she should’ve felt right at home. I know Drew said that Chase only sees the best in her, but come on, there can’t be that much good in that much garbage!” Chloe used to be friends with all of us when we were younger but there is no love lost these days. I think she might just be a miserable person at this point or maybe has had too much bad Botox she can’t physically smile anymore.
“Hey ladies, can we buy y’all a round?” I turn to see a group of four guys standing near our table behind Willa that look like they’re still in college.
“Sorry boys, it’s ladies only tonight.” Willa turns and tells them over her shoulder.
“That’s cool, we’re into watching if that’s your thing too, no judgment here,” one of the guys says as he wiggles his eyebrows.
“Dream on, darling. You couldn’t even handle watching,” Willa replies with a wink. The guys take the hint and laugh at their friend getting shot down as they move on to another table. Throughout the night, a few other groups of guys try to shoot their shot, a few even directly asked for my phone number. I think I vaguely recognized one of them as an ex-husband of one of our former classmates, but my friends were experts at batting them all away without causing any drama. It’s too bad Chloe isn’t friends with us anymore, she could really learn a thing or two about tact .
Before we know it, it’s last call and Brittany’s husband is waiting for us outside. My sides hurt from laughing so hard and I have a nice buzz going on. It’s been too long since I’ve just enjoyed myself without worrying about my current situation, what we lost, or what’s next. My girlfriends intentionally helped me focus on joy and kept a drink in my hand all night. Tonight was exactly what my heart needed.
Zander drives each of us home while we entertain him with our wonderful renditions of pop songs from the early 2000s. I wave goodbye to him and Brittany as I walk up Savannah’s front walk, and Brittany sticks her head out the window to blow a kiss to me as they drive away.
Eloise is sleeping in her cousin’s room and I’m crossing my fingers she doesn’t have a nightmare tonight. I think I have some mint chocolate chip ice cream in the back of the freezer that is calling my name. As I follow the slate walkway around the pool, I can’t help but feel grateful for the cozy, ivory cottage. It’s not my home but I feel safe and protected with my sister just steps away.
Most days I can’t believe this is my life. I look down at my left hand as I unlock the front door. I stopped wearing my wedding ring the day after the funeral because it didn’t help my anger to see it every day. I have so much anger after everything but my finger felt naked—and wrong—without it so I wear one of Mama’s rings instead. The pear cut, emerald ring was a gift from Daddy to Mama when she gave birth to me and the dainty pavé setting makes the ring look like a wedding ring to anyone else. Mama gave both Savannah and me specific pieces of her jewelry collection before she passed, and I like the physical reminder of her love.
Mama also shared my love for mint chocolate chip ice cream. With a family as large as ours, we usually had multiple flavors in our freezer growing up. I have countless fond memories of ice cream sundaes on my parents’ porch. Mama would also pull the ice cream out whenever she was trying to get information out of me or my siblings. She knew she could usually get us talking with a few scoops and I smile at the memory.
I close the front door and make my way through the small living and dining area to the kitchen. Unfortunately, I don’t have the mint chocolate chip ice cream I want to indulge in, so I grab my phone as I debate texting Savannah to see if she has any in her freezer. Pulling up my texts, I see the message I sent to Walker yesterday. Sober Viv might disagree, but Tipsy Viv thinks texting that handsome man sounds like a good idea at 2:30 a.m. I mean, what are the odds he’s even up? I grab a glass to get some water as I consider taking the risk of texting him or playing it safe and just going to bed.
What would I even say? I liked how it felt tingly and warm when I touched you and you smell delicious? Laughing to myself, I turn to go to the water dispenser and promptly trip over Eloise’s sandals, dropping my phone, and landing on my butt in the middle of my kitchen. My lack of balance is proof I should have declined the last two drinks of the evening. Thankfully, I didn’t hear any glass shatter so hopefully my screen is okay. I pick my phone up and flip it over, only to see it’s connected to a call— shit! I must have hit something when I dropped it.
“Hello? … Vivian? Is everything okay?” I hear Walker talking as I slap my forehead. Crap on a cracker, this is not happening right now! I brush my hair back, as though that is going to help me sound more sober than I am.
“Oh, yes, hello, hi very Special Agent Henry Walker Bennett. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, my sincere apologies.” My body is crimson, blushing from head to toe as I just flat out lie. I cringe and cover my face with my other hand, even though he can’t see me. My face is on fire with embarrassment. How did I accidentally call someone, let alone him?!
His soft chuckle thankfully doesn’t sound that annoyed. “Ma’am, do you know it is a crime to lie to a federal agent?” Walker responds.
“Shit! Yes, of course I know that. I’m a lawyer. Did you know that? Of course you knew that. Or at least I was, I mean I still am a lawyer, but not right now. Right now, I am a very embarrassed drunk on her kitchen floor. Shit, shit, shit. Okay, I do know how my phone called you, I just didn’t mean for it to call you,” I ramble on.
“And how did that happen, Vivian?” Walker’s gravelly voice reminds me I probably woke him as it is the middle of the night. Speaking of assumptions, I wonder if it would be accurate if one were to assume he slept nude. “Vivian?”
“Here! Okay, so I may have gone out tonight and had a few adult beverages with some girlfriends. I think a few of them snuck up on me. Those sneaky sons of guns. Anyway, I came home and was all excited for mint chocolate chip ice cream, but apparently one of my brothers or maybe even my own child beat me to it and there is zero mint chocolate chip ice cream in my freezer right now. Isn’t that terrible?”
“Sounds awful, but can you help me connect mint chocolate chip ice cream with why we are speaking on the phone at … 2:34 a.m.?” I think he might even sound amused. Amused is better than mad, right? Right.
“Right,” he replies.
“Oops, did I say that part out loud? Gosh, being drunk is harder than I remember.” I’m officially beyond mortified. Can I get a sunburn from blushing too hard? Will aloe help like it would a sunburn? Would I look pretty with a sunburn?
“I’m sure you’d look pretty, even with a sunburn, but why are you blushing?” Walker asks .
“Oh damn it, I can’t even keep my inside thoughts inside now!” I lean against the cabinet and extend my legs out on the kitchen floor. “For Pete’s sake, I was going to text my sister about the ice cream and I saw the message I sent you the other day when you were here. So I was thinking about sending you a text because I remember how nice your smile was and how delicious you smell, but then I needed water, and I tripped and dropped my phone and I guess in the midst of all of that, my phone decided to call you.”
“Your phone decided to call me, huh?” Walker definitely sounds amused now, maybe smiling, and he might have even laughed. “I am laughing, there is no question.”
“Ugh! Inside thoughts, self! So that’s what happened, no lies, no federal offense, and sadly still no mint chocolate chip ice cream either.”
“I appreciate the honesty, ma’am.”
“Oh no, I didn’t even consider you might not be alone right now!” I cover my face in embarrassment. He probably has a sober, beautiful woman in bed next to him while he answers my drunk dial.
“No, no beautiful woman, sober or intoxicated, in my bed right now.” Damn inside thoughts! “I’m alone, other than Ghost.”
“There’s a ghost in your bed?!”
“Haha, no, not a ghost. Ghost is my English cream golden retriever,” Walker explains. “He is also my best friend and closest confidant, even if he has been known to steal an entire pizza off the counter if not properly stored out of reach.”
“I grew up with dogs. For years my parents had Irish Wheaton terriers. My favorite was my mama’s dog, Betty. She always looked like she was smiling and maybe she was, who knows. Elosie would love to have a dog, but a puppy would not work right now in the guest house. ”
“Dogs are the best. But circling back, what were you going to text me about? Did something happen tonight, or did you think of something?” Walker asks.
“Yeah, I thought of how good looking you are and how I wondered if a dime would bounce off your ass, although that did not feel like an appropriate thing to say to a sexy FBI guy, even if I wanted to climb you like a tree.” My hand clasps over my mouth with a squeak as my cheeks blaze with mortification from the words coming out of my mouth. What is wrong with me?!
A velvet, warm, deep laughter rings on the other end before Walker replies, “Technically I’m a Special Agent, but what else would this text have said?”
“No one knows, it’s a mystery like where my mint chocolate chip ice cream went, Special Agent.” I huff—I really wanted that ice cream. “I wanted to lick it off a spoon, but there are other things I apparently want to lick tonight. And since I can’t lie, I really hope neither of us remember this conversation in the morning.”
“I wouldn’t want that, and I don’t think I could forget this if I tried, Vivian. What were you up to tonight before you were on the hunt for mint chocolate chip ice cream?”
“I had drinks with my best friends and got to have some fun tonight. I used to have so much fun in life. Do you get to have fun, Walker Special Agent? Before tonight, it’d been so long because everything went to complete shit in my life.” I close my eyes. “Except the sensational zings when you touched my hand, that definitely was not shit at all, but I didn’t know what that felt like.”
“You didn’t know what it felt like?” he asks.
I try to think of how best to describe it before I answer. “Mmm. Magic,” I whisper into the phone.
“Magic?”
“Magic. It must have been magic; warm, sparkly, lovely, bewitching magic. But right now, I wish I knew what a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hands felt like so I could enjoy some. Oooo or even strawberry would be good!”
“Strawberry ice cream or strawberries?”
“Either! Both! I love all things strawberry flavored. I mean, mint chocolate chip ice cream is still the best flavor of ice cream, but in general, I love strawberry flavored things.”
Walker laughs. “Just a suggestion, but I think it might be a better idea to get a glass of water, some ibuprofen, and head to bed.”
“That’s probably the smart route, Walker Special Agent man. Handsome and smart? You’re the whole package. I bet you have a nice package too. Oh, Jiminy Cricket! Can we please pretend this didn’t happen tomorrow?” I ask as I grab the counter and pull myself up. After I lock the front door and set the alarm, I head upstairs to the bedrooms.
“I think it’s only fair that if you can’t lie to me, then I can’t lie to you, ma’am,” Walker answers.
“I like that, but I don’t think that’s the answer I want right now.”
“Okay, what answer would you like right now?”
“Tell me a truth that puts us on even footing after this embarrassing conversation, please.” So I don’t have to feel so mortified when I realize in the morning everything I accidentally said to him.
“You weren’t the only one.” Walker’s voice is much softer and I have to turn the volume up as I put the phone on speaker and toss it on my bed.
“The only one that what?” His statement doesn’t make sense.
“Felt the magic … zings.” He felt the warm sensation when we touched too? What does that mean?
“What are you doing and what was that noise?” Walker’s voice echoes off my bedroom walls.
“I’m getting cozy so I can pass out like a proper lady.” And relieved he finally asked me a question that didn’t make me blush .
“Did you give up on the mint chocolate chip ice cream?” he teases.
“Oh! I love mint chocolate chip ice cream! I wish I had some. I’m ditching my clothes. I’m going to have to find ibuprofen in the morning, if I don’t have any my sister will. She always has what I need, she’s the best. She takes such good care of everyone.” I toss my bra over my shoulder and fall on my bed.
“You’re, uh … ditching your clothes?” Walker clarifies and clears his throat.
“Yes, sleeping naked is the best way, sober or not,” I reply but my eyes start feeling really heavy. “I think I need to go now, I’m the total opposite of sober and will be humiliated in the morning by everything I let slip. I should cut my losses and run now Special Agent Man. I’m sorry for accidentally calling you and interrupting your evening, or well, your morning I guess.”
“Don’t worry about it. This call was exceptionally entertaining for me and you don’t need to be embarrassed nor do you need to apologize but sleep is a good idea. Ibuprofen tonight would be a good one too, but for sure in the morning. Goodnight, Vivian,” Walker says.
“Hmm. Good idea, but too much work right now. Goodnight, handsome Walker,” I mumble before letting my heavy lids close. “Now I can dream of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a very handsome, very special agent. I bet he tastes even better than any flavor of ice cream. Magic has a way of surprising you like that.” As I slip off to dreamland, it’s like I can still hear him laughing in the distance. It’s a good thing I did such a good job keeping my inside thoughts inside my head or he might think I’m crazy.
“You did a great job, and you may be a lot of things, but crazy isn’t one of them. Good night, Vivian.”
Oh, see? Walker agrees I did a good job; that’s so nice of him.