39. Vivian
Chapter thirty-nine
Vivian
Checking my makeup once more in the mirror, I flip the visor up and take a deep breath. It’s been a long time since I went on a first date, and I’ve never been on a date with someone that makes me feel like Walker does. His front door opens as I get out of my car and Ghost runs out to greet me while Walker leans against the doorframe. His craftsman style bungalow has a small front yard, and the exterior is a soft cream color with black trim and accents. The flowers and shrubs along the front walk way look like they’ve been growing there for years.
“Hey, Sugar, welcome to my home. I’m so glad you’re here.” He slowly drinks me in as I walk up the front steps, scanning me with his eyes from head to toe and a subtle smile spreads into his devilishly handsome grin. We’ve been talking and texting daily, but seeing him in person always amplifies everything. “Wow, you look gorgeous.”
“Hey yourself, I’m happy to be here.” I walk up his front steps and I’m in awe of his beautiful covered porch. “Whoa, this porch is incredible!” I can imagine myself sitting in one of the rocking chairs, getting lost in a book, and enjoying a delightful afternoon with a glass of sweet tea. That is a little presumptuous of me and I shake the thought away as Walker cocks his head slightly with a smirk. He moves closer to me, and I’m glad he can’t actually read my thoughts. Slipping his arms around my waist, he gently tugs me into a hug. I inhale this man’s delicious scent and wonder how it’s possible for him to smell so damn good. He always smells like a masculine mix of tobacco, vanilla, and some essence that is just … him. I hope he doesn’t notice I’m literally smelling him. Maybe I can figure out what cologne he wears and order a little bottle to stash at my place for whenever I need a hit because I’m already addicted. I lean up and give him a quick kiss hello on the cheek.
“It’s great, but I have to admit, I’m rarely out here. My favorite part is the backyard. There’s an awesome outdoor entertaining area, even if it’s usually just Ghost and me hanging out back there.” He’s described his backyard to me before, and I know when we talk in the evenings, he is usually sitting out there. “Come on in, I’ll show you around.” He leans in to welcome me with a gentle kiss on my forehead, softly rubbing my shoulder with his thumb. He turns and keeps me tucked under his arm. “I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for tonight, but you mentioned you liked a good steak. I got a couple of sirloins resting that I’ll throw on the grill, paired with a little side salad, and grilled veggies if that sounds good to you?” He looks down at me for my approval.
“Sounds perfect,” he responds with one of his dazzling smiles, and before I can melt into a pile of mush right there in his foyer, we continue down a small hallway. The oak floors and woodwork are clearly all original to the house, but the rest of it has been completely updated. With earth tones and cozy textures in the rooms we pass, the aesthetic all comes together to create a relaxing vibe. I wonder if it’s intentional so he can come home to a calming environment with such a stressful job; it makes sense he would want a peaceful space to unwind. I follow him into the kitchen which opens to a combined dining area and living room.
I can imagine daylight pouring into this room through the large windowpanes, but the beautiful twilight gives it an intimate vibe—perfect for our date night. “Oh! I forgot to mention it last night, but our conversation went in a thousand other directions,” I say as he looks over his shoulder at me. “Thank you so much for my new Kindle! It’s nicer than my older one and I love that I can take this one in the bath with me and not worry about dropping it in the water. That was so thoughtful of you.”
“Of course. If Eloise sends this one for a bath, your case may not survive the swim, but at least your Kindle will be safe.”
“I meant to order one, and to be honest, you ordered one even nicer than I would have bought myself. Thank you. That was such a sweet gift. You’re spoiling us already.” He hums in acknowledgement with a smile while he moves around the kitchen. Walker has some music playing in the background throughout the house. “I love this song. Have you ever seen him in concert?”
“No, but I have to confess … while this is a great song, I hate banana pancakes.” He looks down at me and I laugh at his confession. “I hope that’s okay with you. I strongly prefer blueberry pancakes, but waffles are better than pancakes.”
“Aren’t they the same batter?” I laugh at our debate.
“What can I say? I like what I like.” His voice drops as he leans closer before saying, “And when I find something I like to eat, I could eat it every single morning.” I feel the blush crawl over my face and chest at the way his voice rumbled that statement, and his tone insinuates we are no longer talking about breakfast foods. He doesn’t call me out for blushing and just continues talking like he didn’t turn the heat level up from simmer to scorching. “Let me grab a few things here and we can head out back while I throw the food on the grill. Can I get you something to drink? Wine, whiskey, beer, water, or tea?”
The responsible adult in me tells me that I should stick to non-alcoholic beverages, but I want to lean into whatever this is between us, and I might need some liquid courage. “A glass of white wine would be great if you have it.” He nods and opens a small fridge built into the kitchen island. While he pours my glass, I take in his beautiful kitchen. The classic white subway tile and granite countertops are a bright contrast to his dark navy cabinets. I thank him as he hands me the glass and nods his head toward the patio door.
“I’ll follow you, if you wouldn’t mind getting the patio door,” he says as he picks up a tray filled with the prepped food and a tumbler with a few fingers of whiskey for himself.
We enjoy easy conversation while he cooks dinner then indulge in the delicious food he prepared for us. Ghost leans against my legs the entire meal, just in case I drop any pieces of steak. After cleaning up dinner, Walker asks if I want to sit with him on the patio for a bit. I nod and follow him back outside.
I told Savannah before leaving that there was a fifty-fifty chance I would come back tonight, but my gut tells me there is now a less than ten percent chance I walk away from this man before the sun comes up. When I thought about how tonight might go, I assumed I would be nervous, but all I can feel is excitement as the tension crackles and builds between us. Each touch communicates so much more than just a brush of our skin connecting. I’m starved for his touch and silently hoping he will satisfy my craving.
We settle onto the outdoor couch with our thighs pressed together, enjoying a lovely evening. Even with the heat lamps on, the evening temperature sends a chill across my skin, causing me to shiver. Walker notices and grabs a blanket while simultaneously hauling me onto his lap.
“Oh!” At first, I’m shocked to sit on his lap, but I’m also delighted to have Walker put me exactly where he wants me and to be in a position where I can feel that he does indeed want me.
“I can warm you up much better if you’re in my arms, instead of way over there.” He grins and nods toward where I was just sitting. His hands stay on my hips, while one of his fingers draws small circles on my lower back over the blanket .
“So far away, only our legs could touch,” I tease as I tuck a piece of hair behind my ears and place my hands on his firm chest. The butterflies that were calm all evening are now in full flight in my gut. I bite my lower lip and while we are about to enter new territory, I know down to my bones that it’s going to be so good on so many levels.
“That’s not nearly close enough, and now that you’re here, it’s so much easier to do this.” He leans in closer and I’m engulfed by his delicious scent.
“To do what?” I whisper as our lips almost touch and a wave of anticipation crashes over me.
“To properly kiss and touch you like I’ve wanted to from the moment I laid eyes on you. Are you good with that, Sugar?”
“Oh, I’m actually great with that.” I tip my head up and slowly lean in to close the gap. Prior to tonight, we have only shared a couple innocent kisses, but this kiss is most definitely not that. We’ve grown closer emotionally over the texts and calls, but I’m ready to take this to a new level.
I’m momentarily in charge before one of Walker’s hands slides along my jaw and his fingers thread into my hair, tugging just ever so slightly on the hair at the base of my neck. The kiss starts soft and gentle but quickly escalates into a demanding kiss filled with the passion we’ve both been holding back for months now. With a moan of approval, Walker snakes his other arm around my waist and pulls my hips flush up against his stomach. His tongue traces the seam of my mouth and I open to let him in, the symbolism not lost on me. He’s been relentless in his pursuit of me but always making sure I feel comfortable with the pace. I like the direction this kiss is heading and I’m definitely feeling the liquid courage from my two glasses of wine. Keeping my hands on his chest, I rotate, sliding a leg over his lap to straddle him .
“And I am fantastic with this,” he groans as he lifts his hips slightly to press into me. I’m so turned on right now that I wouldn’t be surprised if he could feel my heat through my jeans. Tilting my hips to press my core down on him, he deepens the kiss as a groan of satisfaction rumbles through his chest.
I thought I knew what a good kiss felt like and what it felt like to be properly kissed.
I had no idea.
I knew nothing until Walker kissed me tonight.
Surrounded by the delicious scent that is entirely unique to Walker, with his arms firmly holding me against his hard and chiseled body, this kiss is better than anything I’ve even read in the smuttiest of books.
Walker’s intensity feels like he’s attempting to burn away memories of any kiss prior to him, both consuming me in his fire and catapulting the standard of kissing higher than I knew was possible. I’ve been kissed before tonight, obviously, but never like this. He has somehow reached into the essence of who I am and directly touched my soul. I thought there was something special between us when I felt the magic of his touch for the first time, but that is nothing compared to being properly and thoroughly kissed by Walker Bennett.
“Mmmm, that was … more than what I waited for,” he growls as we barely separate.
“What do you mean?” I’m unsure if I should be insulted by that comment and, if so, to what degree.
He traces the outline of my jaw with his fingers before sliding his hand back up to hold my head, his thumb softly tracing my cheek. “You have possessed my dreams and dominated my thoughts. I’m a lot of things, but when it comes to you, patience is not a virtue that I excel in. And make no mistake, that was an earth-shattering kiss, but I just wish I could have kissed you months ago instead of only dreaming of it.”
Leaning his forehead against mine, he softly continues, “Usually dreams are better than reality, but the reality of kissing you blows any dream out of the water. I would wait however long I had to for you, but now that you’re in my arms? I don’t want to wait anymore, especially now that I’m able to do this.” Tilting his head, his lips meet mine in a soft, tender, sweet kiss. The strange and magical sensation that dances across my skin whenever we touch encircles my body like a spell, weaving our souls together. When I pull back, I’m overwhelmed with what I see in his eyes. It’s too early for either of us to say those three words but his eyes are filled with more than just lust or adoration.
“What about the saying, good things come to those who wait?” I tease.
“Well then, forget good. We are going to be fan-fucking-tastic.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like that in my entire life.”
He chuckles a little before saying, “One, that’s great to hear. I’ve never felt a kiss like that before either. And two,” he gives me a small peck on my nose before continuing, “please do not make me think about anyone ever kissing or touching you while you’re sitting on my lap. I’m not willing to share and besides …” Walker lifts his hips slightly at the last word, making me gasp as I become fully aware of just how excited he is in this moment. “I only want you focused on one thing right now.”
“Mmm … and what would that be?” I walk my fingers up his chest until I slide them into his hair, eliciting a groan from him.
“I only want you to be thinking about the fact that after tonight, everything is different between us.”
His statement startles me and I sit up straighter, pulling slightly back. “But I like where things are headed between us. ”
“Yeah, but after tonight? Baby, you’re going to officially be mine, but if I’m honest, I’ve thought of you as mine for a while now.” He steals my mouth with another deep kiss. My heart soars at the thought of being his and belonging to him. I’ve never wanted to belong to someone before, but I want that. I want to be his. I moan in satisfaction. When he hears my moan, he slides both of his hands down my back and under my thighs. Shifting me slightly, in an impressively smooth move, he stands up from the couch and I wrap my legs around him. Before I know it, we’re walking back inside and down a hallway.
“Ghost, kennel up,” Walker commands as I see Ghost head to his kennel off the kitchen.
I giggle at the thought of Ghost trying to follow us. We don’t need an audience for this part of the evening. “What a good boy.”
“You better be referring to my dog, because I promise I’m no boy. Seems I wasn’t a great host before, so it’s time to finish my tour from earlier. I still need to show you the rest of my house, especially my bedroom.”
“That’s a great line. Does it work every time?” I laugh.
He abruptly stops walking toward his bedroom and slightly lowers his head so he can look directly into my eyes. “You're the only woman I've said that to and the only woman who's been in this house, other than my assistant, cleaning lady, and dog nanny." His eyes are filled with a fire that I feel he’s been holding back until tonight.
“Is that because you’ve been busy or …” I trail off the rest of my sentence, hoping he will fill my silence.
“I have been busy, but I don’t bring just anyone to my home. Being in my home, in my sanctuary, it means something to me,” Walker tells me as he carries me into his bedroom. “And for the last nine months, only one woman has commanded my attention. ”
Walker swiftly flicks a switch on as we enter his room and the fireplace comes to life, basking the room in a soft glow. His bedroom is very masculine but comfortable. The vaulted ceilings open the room up and massive floor to ceiling windows span one side of the room. On the opposite wall sits a large king-sized bed with crisp white and soft gray linens. There’s an antique-looking dresser and a few doors that are closed, but I’m assuming one is a closet and the other is likely his en suite bathroom. The room is extremely tidy and everything is put away, which makes me think he might judge my slightly messy bedroom. I never let things get dirty, but things get a little chaotic at times. “I don’t even see a rogue sock. You’re quite organized, sir.” I observe.
“Unless you want this next part to be over way before I intend it to be, please do not call me sir right now. I cannot be responsible for how much that turns me on, Vivian,” he growls at me and playfully nips where my neck and shoulder meet.
“Why do you think I call you sir during our nightly phone calls? But I didn’t realize you were part animal.” I giggle at his playfulness. He just bit me and that was a first for me, not that it hurt, but I actually kind of liked it, which surprises me.
“More like part beast. You have no idea how feral you make me, Viv.” He sets me down on the bed and leans down with a hand on each side of my body, softly kissing my forehead before leaning back. “I plan to thoroughly investigate exactly how deep this connection between us goes.” He slowly starts kissing my neck.
“You feel it too?” We haven’t really talked about our feelings, but we’ve danced around them a lot.
“The magnetic pull to you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my entire life. At first, I thought I was just extremely attracted to you—and I am one hundred percent—but it’s more than that. It feels like … it feels like a lot more than that. ”
“What does it feel like to you?” I don’t know why I’m pushing, but I need to hear him articulate his feelings so I know I’m not alone in this.
“It feels like the kind of thing that would drive men to start wars over if it meant being together. It feels like something I’ve been missing my entire life but had no idea that it could feel like this.” He cradles my face with his hand and I instinctively lean into his touch, which makes him hum in approval. “It feels like this is a defining point in my life—like there are two parts of my life: before we met and after you were in my life. And the after? After meeting you, baby, everything else has changed. You not only changed the game, this thing between us … it’s endgame.”
My mouth opens and closes like a fish as his declaration floors me, not because of what he said, but because he was willing to say that so early in whatever we have together. He also found a way to verbalize feelings that I felt but couldn’t describe. I try to take a deep breath as a lone tear escapes from my eye. He gently catches it with his thumb before licking it off. “I don’t want to ever see you cry, Viv, but I hope that was a happy tear.”
“It was one of the happiest tears in my life, Walker. I was afraid this was all in my head and I was the only one feeling the significance of whatever this is between us. To hear you say all of that, and to know that I’m not alone in all of it is a lot. And … I also don’t want to have someone I trust break my heart again.”
“I get that, but let’s not allow the fools in our pasts have any influence in the potential happiness of our future.” He kneels next to the bed so I can see his eyes better. “Because this? You and me? I think we have the chance at something real, something others only dream of, and something that could make both of us so, so very happy. I know I could make you so happy. If you let me love you, I will never take that for granted.”
His words cause me to lean forward, reaching for him as I desperately pull him closer. I need him more than I need the oxygen in my next breath. Walker’s lips slam into mine as his hands dive into my hair and he angles my head exactly how he wants it, deepening our kiss. I lean up, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, and pull him down onto the bed with me, tugging his shirt up so I can put my hands on his bare skin. He moans in agreement and we slide up the bed. My long loose curls fan around the pillow as he keeps his hand along my jaw and his thumb softly against my neck. I drop my knees as he lays his body weight on me like a delicious blanket of hard muscle and masculine beauty. I lift my legs instinctively and wrap them around his body to pull him closer to me. Walker breaks our kiss and looks into my eyes.
“I won’t always be so willing to give you control in the bedroom, but for tonight, I need you to tell me with your words what you want to happen.”
“I want this. I want you. I want us. I already somehow feel you in my soul, and I want to feel you everywhere, in every possible way.” I pause to push up and kiss him, trying to communicate everything I can’t say yet with words. I lean back and look at him, knowing that I’m laying my heart bare for this man, but also somehow just knowing that my heart is safe with him. “Please make love to me, Walker. Please, I need you.”
“Now, those words are the prettiest words to hear, and who am I to deny such a sweet request, Sugar?” His grin spreads across his entire face as he tugs his shirt over his head.
“Oh, hot damn.” The view is breathtaking; Walker is beyond fit, but he is also all man. His well-defined muscles showcase a few tattoos that I didn’t know he had but can’t wait to explore with my tongue. Unlike some guys, Walker has chest hair and it continues down in a spattering line that goes below the waist of his pants, which is highlighted by that delicious V that flows over his hips and down into his jeans; the perfect Adonis belt.
“See something you like?” His voice is gravelly as he raises an eyebrow.
“I actually see something I want to lick right now.” I push myself up toward him to do just that, tracing his six-pack and one of his nipples with my tongue. Nudging him to lay down with my shoulder, I move to the other nipple and notice his tattoo of three dog tags on his chest. I glance up at Walker and see the emotion in his eyes. I gently kiss each of the tags.
“You have far too many clothes on for our next activity. Let me help you with that, sir,” I tease as he groans at my use of ‘sir.’ I slide my hands down his chest and stomach until I reach his belt buckle. I raise an eyebrow and pause for a moment.
“You might actually kill me, baby,” he groans as he sits up and flips me on my back.
“Hey! It's rude to interrupt a lady" I chastise him. "I was about to do some exploring!"
“Later, Lewis and Clark. I don’t care if you set out on a four-day expedition of my body later, but right now, I can’t wait. It’s your own damn fault. I warned you not to call me sir.” He tugs at my jeans and I yank my shirt off over my head as my jeans get caught on the comforter. Walker moves back to pull my jeans off the rest of the way before removing his own. I lay on his bed in my bra and underwear as he consumes me with his eyes.
“Absolutely beautiful, Viv.” There’s such reverence in his voice and I feel incredibly precious as I lay nearly naked in front of him for the first time. This is not just a hook up, this is a milestone for us. Walker covers me again with his body and kisses me as he slides his hands behind me to unhook and remove my bra. I push my underwear down and go to grab the waist of his boxer briefs, when he stills my hand .
“I need to grab a condom from the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“Or … you could … not.” I slide my fingers through his hair and pull him closer to kiss him.
He returns the kiss before pulling back. With an inferno in his eyes, his jaw clenches as he replies, “Viv, I need your words again here. What are you telling me?”
“I’m telling you that I’m clean and haven’t been with anyone since … everything happened. But I got tested after the affair came out. I’m clean, and I’m on birth control.”
His grip on my hip tightens. “I get tested for all kinds of things regularly with my job, I’m clean, and it’s been over a year for me, but I’ve never been with someone bare before. We can use a condom, and it will still be wonderful if you would be more comfortable.” He is gritting his teeth so hard I’m concerned he might crack a molar.
“I know and I appreciate that, but Walker, I want this. And if it’s okay, I just want to be with you.” I start to slide his boxer briefs down before he sits up to remove them, and then covers me with his body.
“I don’t want anything between us, ever. Thank you for trusting me with this.” He gently kisses me before pulling back to search my eyes for something, and I nod, confirming that I really am good with this. “Viv, you're the perfect woman for me, beyond anything I could have imagined. You are a fucking dream, baby.”
He gently kisses my lips as he slowly starts to enter me and my breath stutters for a moment. While Walker is rugged and large all over, he’s also the thickest and largest man I’ve ever been with, and there’s a slight burn as he slides in. He hesitates for a moment, his eyes searching mine.
“I’m okay, I promise.” I lean up to kiss him again.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so fucking perfect. I knew this would be incredible, but I had no idea you would feel so fucking good. You’re so damn tight. I need you to relax a little. Just let me in and I promise I will make this good for you.” He covers my jaw and neck with kisses as I slowly exhale. While he traces the length of my neck with his tongue, he finally bottoms out. We simultaneously groan at the intense sensation.
“Walker?” I breathlessly whisper.
“Yeah, baby?” His deep voice rumbles against my chest.
“I need you to move, now, if at all possible, please.” I feel so overwhelmingly full, it’s almost too much. But it’s also glorious at the same time.
“Okay baby, I’ve got you.” Nuzzling into my neck, he places one hand next to my head and reaches down to pull one of my legs up. Holding my knee up with his hand, he starts to move, and I swear he is so deep he’s touching a part of me that has never even been touched before. I feel him deeper than I knew was even possible until he is all the way to the hilt.
My entire body is overwhelmed with pleasure, and I feel a slight sting of pain at the intrusion of his large size, but in the best way. “Don’t stop, Walker, don’t stop!” I try to control my breath as my climax is already building.
“I never want to stop. Fuck, I had no idea how good and how fucking right this would feel. That’s right, Vivian, take me baby, take it all.” His thrusting is just hard enough to continue the onslaught of my senses as he starts to increase his speed. “You’re mine, baby. You. Are. Fucking. Mine.”
It may just be the heat of the moment, but I want to be his, and I want him to be mine. Not just for tonight, but forever. I’m not ready to say these things out loud yet, so I simply nod before kissing him again. He lets go of my leg and reaches over to press down on my clit with his thumb in a circular motion. Before I know it, I detonate, stars are exploding, and I am flying into a white abyss as I come harder than I ever thought was physically possible.