5. Sage
5
SAGE
T he days passed in relative peace post Leo Freaking Camaro storming into her life. She let him know when she went out for her weekly grocery shopping. After a quick call where Camaro interrogated her about her shopping habits, he allowed her to go solo, deeming the supermarket secure enough and not a threat. What a gift.
“Buy some coffee for when I’m over next,” he’d also said.
She did not.
Okay, so having a bodyguard—security agent?—was weird. What did one call their little shadow with a gun? Whatever Leo Camaro was—it wasn’t so bad. At least the random notes taped to her mailbox and the door stopped. And hey. No more broken windows. (And yes, it was convenient that he had fixed her broken window too…) Maybe there was something to having extra security measures. She even put a “Caution, Dog on Premises” st icker on her back door. It was a nice touch but Leo only scoffed and said, “The only thing that rat is good for is giving anyone in the vicinity some incurable disease.”
Squash grumbled from the couch. What a ferocious beast she was wearing her fleece puppy pajamas.
Leo texted her every morning, checking in and asking if anything happened in the night. She always sent back a one-word answer of: no. Short and to the point. Maybe he could read two-letter words despite all the head injuries he was sure to have sustained from high school football. He would always respond with “carry on” and carry on she did.
Sage was busy making steady progress on Welkin Wall . She also went into her cozy gaming mode and would get all cozy and play through Breath of the Wild and other more chill games with her Patreon subscribers. They would chat and relax and she’d show off Squash and her new puppy jammies. It felt like the nights before George died, when she would stay up late once she got George comfortable in bed.
She managed to pack away some of George’s things and placed them in neat stacks in his room. It felt like a shrine of sorts. Things she wasn’t willing to part with. Things that were only George’s and would not belong in any other home. But she couldn’t have them living in this home just yet. It hurt too much to see his things staring at her. It was like a whisper of a friend you’d never hear the voice of again. No, packed away nicely and stored in a room that was bound to collect dust over the next few years was perfect. Totally normal .
“It’s called coping,” Roz had said when Sage called her in tears about the illogical situation of it all.
“They’re just things!” Sage sobbed. “Inanimate, ugly, perfect little objects that make me cry. I’m in tears because of a stupid little vase with cherry blossom flowers painted on it.” Sage glared at the offending item. She sniffed. “I am reduced to a puddle of water when I see the last painting George picked up.”
Tavy and Roz had come over and helped her—making sure it was during a time Leo had never dropped in on her because she did not feel like opening that can of drama with her friends right now. They’d go feral if they realized Leo Camaro was her babysitter.
It was weird knowing there were eyes all around her house. She glared at the cameras when she walked by just in case Leo was watching. She said hello to Filbert (making sure to keep really strong eye contact) and went on a few walks because she promised Tavy she would try. “Sunshine and exercise are good for you,” said the college athlete. She was such a mom friend. Sage loved that about her. And Roz came over a few times and blasted music while she dragged Sage from her bed and helped her clean up the house and get rid of all of George’s old medications and medical paperwork. Her only two friends in the world were the best anyone could ever have.
Friends were like ice cream on a hot day, one could never have enough.
Speaking of ice cream…Sage’s stomach grumbled and she looked up from her computer. She had been lost in th e world of Welkin Wall for a few hours and snacks were the only thing that could bring her back to reality.
She looked at the clock. Noon. Now was a great time for breakfast. To be fair, anytime was a great time for breakfast, especially when Franko’s flapjacks were concerned.
It was only after she had driven the two miles to Franko’s that she thought about texting Leo where she was. Not that she needed permission, obviously. She was already halfway through her first hot chocolate and a stack of flapjacks were on their way when she thought about it again. She should at least let him know… But by the time they had argued about the safety of pancakes, she would have eaten her fill and be on her way home. It was a small breach of the contract was all. No big deal.
The first bite of the buttery, gooey pancakes was bliss. The next bite brought back memories of her and George and their weekly pancake outing.
The third bite nearly choked her when a voice boomed, “What in the flapjack are you doing here?”
“Camaro?” she asked but with the pancake stuck in her throat it came out more like “Creee?”
He slid into the booth across from her, stabbed a pancake off her plate—off her plate!—and shoved it in his mouth. He brandished a fork at her. “You have a lot of nerve sneaking out.”
“I wasn’t sneaking,” Sage said, eyes watering from the recently dislodged pancake piece in her throat. She downed her hot chocolate and asked Martha for another from across the room with her eyes. Martha knew the look .
“Deciding to not tell me your location is sneaking,” Leo said. “And choosing the most inconspicuous spot in the diner is also suspicious.”
“I was not being suspicious,” Sage whispered in a tone that sounded rather, well, suspicious. But it was his fault. She didn’t want to make a scene and Leo was bound and determined to perform. “I was just getting breakfast in my usual booth.”
It was weird having a usual booth, at a usual café, without the usual person.
“Well, if it’s a usual occurrence, why isn’t this little event on the calendar, hm?” Leo looked rather smug and while Sage looked for the right words (she bought herself time by shoving as many pancakes in her mouth as possible) he ordered himself a fat stack of flapjacks too.
“So,” Leo asked, sipping a mug of coffee that had been placed in front of him. “What’s your excuse?”
“I forgot.”
He looked at her like he knew she was lying. Time to turn the tables.
“How’d you know where I was?” she asked, brandishing her own fork at him this time.
“That’s for me to know and you to deal with the repercussions.”
She tried to kick him from under the table but he caught her foot in his hand. “Ah, ah,” he tutted. “I think a time-out would do you justice. I hate that you resort to violence.”
She tried to kick him with her other foot but he caught that one just as easily. Leo shook his head. “You’ll get much further with me if you use your words. ”
Sage just mumbled and tried to jerk her feet away. Leo’s grip was firm.
“Say please,” he said.
Sage blushed and tried to jerk back, harder this time. It failed. “Please,” she mumbled, only because she didn’t want him touching her anymore. Was it growing hot in here? Were all guy hands that big and strong? Seriously, was it hot in here?
Leo seemed unphased by the whole…incident. Yes, that’s how she was going to catalog it. Foot incident. Okay, now that just sounded weird.
Sage stirred her cup of fresh hot chocolate Martha dropped off. “Seriously, how’d you know I was here?”
Leo shrugged and smiled at Martha who brought him an enormous stack of pancakes. He drizzled half the syrup bottle over them. “I saw your car on the way to your house.”
Now why did that feel like a lie?
“Please go away,” Sage said. “I want to eat in peace.”
“No.” Leo shoveled down the gooey mess. “You lost ‘eating in peace privileges’ when you forgot to tell me you wanted to eat in peace.”
“I’m telling you now!”
“Don’t get huffy.”
“Huffy!” Sage crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him so hard she thought the weight of her stare would push him away. Unfortunately, the lump of Leo remained.
“Why are you wearing pajamas?” he asked.
“That’s it!” Sage tried to scoot out of the booth but Leo stopped her with his leg, effectively blocking her path. “You are a child.”
“You’re the one wearing pajamas to lunch.”
“It’s breakfast for me and what’s wrong with my shirt?”
“Other than it’s giving me a migraine, nothing at all.”
To be fair, it was a strange shirt. It was a pastel purple tie-dye background with little images of squashes (the vegetable kind) forming a giant image of Squash (the dog kind). It was almost a design that came alive, like some sort of optical illusion. The more you stared at it, the dizzier you got.
“The adoption agency where I found Squash sent it to me.”
“It’s ugly.”
“Now it’s my favorite shirt.”
“No wonder you’re single with that type of nightwear.”
Sage poked at his leg which was still blocking her path to escape. “They’re not pajamas. And who says I don’t have a boyfriend?”
“Because no man or woman alive would allow you to go out in public like that. Even your dog has more fashion sense than you.”
Okay, well, he kind of had a point. But little did he know that Squash was back home sporting a very similar look with her own tie-dye pajamas. It was cold after all…
“I have fashion sense!” Sage argued more with herself than Leo. “I actually have to go to events and stuff. I know how to look cool and presentable. Gotta stand out from the rest. ”
“Love, you’re a lady among a sea of men who live in their mother’s basements and have never heard of shampoo. You’re already standing out. Which is why I wanted to talk to you before I had to go out of my way to lecture you about breaking the rules.”
Sage poked at his leg again. “Consider me good and lectured, love . It shan’t happen again.” It probably would.
“Have more pancakes.”
“No thank you.”
“My treat. We have things to discuss and I have a feeling you will be better behaved in a public space with your belly full .”
Sage could feel herself growing red. So red she might turn purple. Maybe she’d match her shirt. “You are the worst!”
“Screaming, scolding Sage. I do love alliteration. What else can we add to this list?”
Sage smacked his knee.
“Slappy. Good work,” Leo said, a goofy grin on his face. He leaned back against the booth like a man without a care in the world. Like this was a normal breakfast (fine it really was lunch) date.
She contemplated climbing over his leg but decided she would die of embarrassment right here on the diner floor.
“Fine!” Sage said, leaning back into the booth. “Since you’ve decided to force your presence on me, let’s get this over with.”
“Sassy. Way to keep on theme.”
She could practically feel the wrinkles forming between her eyebrows. And what did he mean by “things to discuss?” Things about, you know, his job protecting her? Or things of the past? Was he going to apologize? Of course not. He was like an ostrich, forever burying his head in the sand. “Ugh, what do you want?”
“Look, I just wanted to go through the Livestream schedule you have so I can try and pop into the chat and check out some of the messages. Thoughts?”
She sighed and rubbed her temples. “Thinking about ostriches at the moment actually. And to answer your question, I don’t really have a schedule. I mean I have a few standing times but that’s part of the fun of doing what I do. I decide when to do it.”
“Like the bird?” Leo asked, clearly annoyed. “Why don’t you decide when you’re going to do it and let me know.”
“Why though?” Sage asked, fully prepared to give him a million excuses as to why she couldn’t give him her online schedule. Why did it feel strange having this guy join the chat? Was that embarrassment bubbling up in her chest? No. No that would not do.
“I just want to get an idea of the hostilities surrounding you. Look for clues.”
“You’re no Hardy boy.”
“No, he’s a Camaro,” a distinctly familiar voice said from behind Sage. It made her jump and splash her hot chocolate down her front.
“Destiny Baker?” Leo asked, standing quickly (finally removing his leg), and giving the woman a giant hug.
“Long time no see,” Destiny said. “What on earth are you doing here? ”
“Just here for Jules’ wedding. What about you?” Leo asked.
Destiny had conveniently overlooked Sage (literally) and hadn’t noticed her yet. In order to make her escape (unseen) she’d have to slide under the table and out between their legs. Destiny was blocking her in. She didn’t think it would work but was already sliding down the booth seat when Destiny looked down at Sage.
“Hi,” Destiny said. “I’m Leo’s friend Destiny.”
“Cool!” Sage took the opening and stood, briefly shaking Destiny’s hand, and made her way around the pair. “I’ll let you two catch up.”
Destiny was more than ready to take the offer and was halfway seated by the time Sage made it to the door and for a moment Leo looked conflicted about staying. She made the choice for him by quickly texting him.
SAGE: I’m going home. I’ll email you my stream schedule later.
She flew past the trees that lined her cute little street. It really shouldn’t make her stomach clench. But how could she not remember? Sage had sat next to Destiny in Geometry class for an entire year! She let Destiny copy her homework the whole time! And sure, time had passed, but not like an eternity.
Sage pulled into her driveway, marched into the house, and did the only thing that could make someone feel better when they knew logically they had no reason to be sad. She ate some chocolate, cuddled Squash on their favorite couch in her office, and turned on her favorite movie obsession. Right now, it was Drew Barrymore’s Ever After.
She was just getting to the good part (the prince chasing after the thief) when Leo barged through the front door. She heard him calling her name. She groaned loud enough for him to find her.
“Am I interrupting?” Leo asked as he walked into her space.
“Go away, I’m working. The contract states that you cannot interrupt me during my working hours unless there is a security risk.”
“You’re not working.”
“And you’re not here for a wedding.”
Leo sat in her office chair, testing it out and rolling around. “This is nice. Guess you’d need something fancy since you’re sitting around all day. And hey! I am working undercover. Can’t let the town gossip know I am here for work.”
“I fail to see how that is a problem at all. And I don’t sit around all day!” Sometimes she ended up horizontal, like now, before being rudely interrupted. “Just don’t embarrass me in the chat.”
“What could I say that could possibly be more cringe than what is already there?”
Sage sat up, abandoning the movie. “Okay, first off, no one says cringe anymore. Unless you want to be religiously attacked for being an elder millennial completely out of touch.”
“I don’t care,” Leo said.
Sage shrugged. “You might more than you think.”
“What can a bunch of strangers on the internet say to make me self-conscious?”
A lot, actually. Sage pushed the insults that cut deep to the back of her mind, because try as she might, she couldn’t push them out.
“I’ll email you the schedule like I said I would. You didn’t have to rush out of your reunion.”
Leo shrugged. “Did you know she was a cop?”
Sage shook her head. But that didn’t really surprise her. All the mean girls liked some sort of power job.
Leo sighed. “But now I actually gotta figure out an excuse for being in town longer. The holidays are a good excuse. Speaking of. Any plans I should know about?”
Sage’s stomach dropped. She had always spent it with George. The last six years. “Not much. Just local.”
It was hard to determine if Leo looked relieved or annoyed with the revelation. “Okay, let me know as we get closer where you’ll be.”
Maybe she could spend it with Roz. Or Tavy. No, Tavy’s family always went to the coast for the holidays.
“Will do,” Sage said, flopping back down on the couch, grasping for the remote with one hand and scratching Squash’s ear with the other. “Now can you go? I have important work to do.”
“Right.” The sarcasm was thick on Leo’s tongue and she wanted to smack it right off of him but that would require getting up and untangled from the blankets. It sounded a lot like effort so instead she turned and gave him a good glare which he promptly ignored.
“I’ll leave you to it. I’ll even lock up when I leave.” He tossed her a key. “I took the liberty of picking these up.”
Sage fiddled with the strange key in her hand. It looked like a normal key but two sizes too big. The teeth looked more like jagged incisors. “Thanks.” She set it aside as if it were going to bite her.
“Don’t work too hard. Wouldn’t want you breaking a sweat.”
She threw a pillow—a squash-shaped one of course—at him on his way out.