16. Leo
16
LEO
“ N o!” Sage yelled.
Okay, so definitely not the reaction Leo had been expecting. Seriously. He had gone out of his way to look up green tea and what made it good and the best spot in town. He had several new fun facts to casually share with her now. And he thought for sure she’d be into it, even if there was sushi involved. He could admit it was an acquired taste, and she had the palate of a toddler.
“They have cooked options there. Noodles and stuff.”
Sage looked out the window and quickly wiped her eyes. “It’s not that.” She sniffed and blinked away—was that a tear—and sniffed again. “I love sushi. And green tea. But that used to be our thing. George and me. And I…” She sniffed again. “Actually, it’s fine. It’s just sushi. And tea.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
“Eh, I’ve actually lost my appetite for fish.” It was a lie. He had been practically salivating after fresh salmon nigiri. Maybe some black cod. “But it would be a shame to leave the city on such a beautiful day. You need to get out. Live a little. Be spontaneous. I know you don’t have any streams planned for today.”
“I could do a pop-up stream?”
“Or you could go on an adventure with me.”
“I’d rather get a root canal.” But there was a gleam in her eye. Was it curiosity?
Leo rolled his eyes. “What’s something you’ve wanted to do down here that you’ve never done? Something you wouldn’t have been able to do with George since he was…older?”
Leo must have said the right thing because Sage cocked her head and seemed to be considering his proposal. “Do you have a rain jacket?”
Leo snorted. “It’s Oregon. Of course I have a rain jacket with me.” He pulled it from the back seat.
“Okay same,” said Sage, thinking. “I have an idea but it might require some driving. I think you’ll be into it because it’s outdoorsy and stuff and I’m sure you’ll jump at the chance to show off how in shape you are. I’ll probably fall on my face. If we do this, you have to promise not to make fun of me.”
“I’ll do my very best.” It was the truth, though his best was just a notch above the “will laugh at literally anything” level.
She blew out a breath. “You ever heard of Thor’s Well?”
“That’s on the coast, which is like forty-five minutes from here.” He said it with a flat tone despite the fact that, internally, he was rather excited about this little excursion. But she had to work for it. It never hurt to have a few “get out of jail free” cards in the back pocket.
“I know, but the little city is just north by a few minutes. We could go over there, grab lunch, and then hike down to see it or vice versa depending on the tides.”
“You got a deal, but on one condition.”
“You’re the one that asked me to be spontaneous!” She pulled her legs onto the seat and sat cross-legged. “I am losing my spontaneous spirit.”
Best not to push his luck. “You haven’t even heard of my conditions!”
“What?” She was on the verge of backpedaling.
“You pick where we eat.” He turned on the 4Runner. “I can’t handle another emotional breakdown over tea.”
Her face lit up for half a second, then she rolled her eyes. “You haven’t seen anything close to an emotional breakdown, trust me.”
He thrust her his phone, already open to Google Maps. “Just put in the address here.”
She did and set the phone up on the stand. “Ya-chat?”
“It’s Yaw-hats ,” she corrected.
“How the hell is Yachats pronounced like that?” Leo asked. “English is stupid.”
“At least we can finally agree on something,” she said. Little did she know they’d be fighting over who was better, Whitney Houston or Mariah Carrey, for the rest of the drive.
They bundled up, Leo in his black rain jacket and Sage in her purple waterproof shell. The hike down to Thor’s Well was pretty easy, actually. They had opted to hit the well first since the tide seemed to be in their favor. Sage only fell on her butt twice. The first time Leo helped her up with only a hint of a smile. She glared daggers at him. The second time she fell he didn’t hold back. Maybe it was her undignified squeak or the fact that the mud actually made a splat sound as her butt connected with the ground.
“Ugh. At least I have a change of clothes in the car thanks to the entire wardrobe Jared made me bring.”
“Yeah,” Leo said. “What was up with all those flowers?” At one point, a dozen different flower arrangements came in and Sage looked absolutely murderous when she was told to pose with them all.
Sage wore the same murderous look now. “Jared’s idea. To be honest, he’s trying to push boundaries to increase my social media growth, which was doing fine on my own. Sure, not as aesthetic or streamlined but good grief, he didn’t have to stage a remake of all the condolence flowers people sent after George’s passing.”
Leo’s stomach dropped. “They sent flowers to your house?”
“I have a P.O. box! I’m not an idiot,” Sage scoffed, which turned into a squeak as she slipped over a rock. Leo walked behind her after she insisted she lead because he was taking “Goliath steps” and she was convinced he was going to leave her behind. He settled for a hand reaching out behind her, ready to grab the back of her lilac rain jacket when she slipped on the wet rocks.
“So Jared,” Sage continued, “he was all like, ‘just pose with them so we can use them next year and so you can maybe post some stories on gratitude and stuff’ and he was totally fine using George as content!” She slipped and Leo shot out a hand and grabbed under her arm. “I wish I could fire him.” She shook Leo off without even thanking him. Her cheeks were red, likely from the wind and the cold, but her neck was also pink. Was that a blush?
“So, fire him.”
“It’s a lot like trying to fire you,” she said.
Leo barked out a laugh. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
“Yeah, good luck with that,” she mumbled.
Thor’s Well was magnificent. The giant hole in the rocky landscape sucked in the waves crashing against the wall, shooting it up like a geyser where it turned to a pink mist against the sunset backdrop. It was beautiful, the sound was heavenly. The constant bashing of waves against rock was like the very heartbeat of the earth. Everything stood still to listen to the rhythm. The birds were quiet. The trees were still. Even Sage stopped her endless chatter. They stood next to each other for what could have been minutes. Hours? How long did a sunset last? Because they stood there until the last rays of the sun dipped beyond the ocean’s horizon and then the spell was broken.
“It’s amazing,” Leo said.
“Yeah,” Sage said. “It really is.”
Then an unearthly scream pierced the stillness. Sage jumped into Leo. “Get it!”
“What is it?” Leo asked, heart racing, just because the sound had been so startling and not because Sage was pressed against his side, her hand over his chest.
She grabbed his arm and pushed it out in front of them. “Use your guns and get it!” She turned and looked at the narrow trail leading back up the hillside. “Actually, let’s just run!”
“Yeah, you’re right!” he said, mostly because he wanted to see her try to run up that slick mess. He wasn’t about to tell her it was just a lonely fox looking for a date.
The spectacle did not disappoint him.
Only when she nearly face-planted and turned back to see if he had followed her the two feet she’d managed to make while running like a cartoon she scowled. She took stock of him standing there without a care in the world. Then the fox screamed again and her scowl turned to actual fear. Her face paled. Her eyes darted to the darkening tree line. And that wasn’t in his job description. He was supposed to make his Subject feel at ease.
“It’s just a fox trying out speed dating,” Leo said. He tried to look sincere, but his face must have betrayed him because she flung the mud sticking to her hands at him.
“You are such a jerk, Leo Camaro.”
“What? It took me a minute to figure out what it was. But for the record, in an actual emergency, you’re going to be following me, not the other way around, Love.”
She glowered. “Fine. Just lead us out of here. I want to change and I am starving.”
Leo led them out as best as he could, thankful the moon was full and the night was clear enough. He really had been lost in that sunset. It wasn’t like him to lose the light like that. Luckily the trail wasn’t long and was well-marked. There was only one casualty.
“My shoe!” Sage yelled while she watched it tumble down the ravine with resigned sadness. The kind of acceptance only a true Oregonian could have about losing a battle to the mud and thick tree roots.
“Good thing you have extra clothes in the car.”
Sage sniffed. “I loved those things.”
“Should have had them laced tighter.”
“They were Velcro.”
Leo balked. “Then you deserved it. Now hop up. Parking lot is just up here.”
“Up?” she asked.
“I know it’s a two-letter word, but surely you can use context clues to help you define it.”
“I’m fine.” She took two steps and hissed. “It’s like ice.” She stood on one leg like a muddy, purple flamingo.
“Just hop up.”
She must have been really cold because when Leo crouched, she reached over and gripped his shoulders and hiked her legs up around his waist. Were her hands always this small? No wonder LilyTech needed to exist if people had such small hands. And for literally lounging in a chair twenty hours a day, she had decent strength. He looped his arms under her legs and shouldered her on like a backpack, his shoulder hitting her chin a little too hard.
“Sorry,” he said.
“I bit my tongue.”
“Don’t bleed on me.”
“No promises.”
The rest of the short walk went in silence, save for a final scream of that bachelor fox. Maybe he could return with the rat-dog and they could work out some sort of platonic friendship .
When he deposited her at the 4Runner he said, “It’s unlocked. I’m going to go see a monkey about a tree.”
“What?”
“You know, gonna go tell the racehorse hello?”
“Excuse me?”
This woman was dense. How did she field sexist and borderline abusive comments from strangers all day and come up with witty replies just to be lost with a euphemism about peeing?
“I’m going to take a leak and will be gone long enough to give you plenty of time to get in the car and change.” He gave her a lazy salute and turned toward the woods, but not before catching a blush. A real deep red rose up her cheeks. She practically glowed in the dark.
“Oh. Right. Okay.”
True to his word, he gave her ample time, but he was still within earshot. The fox only screamed twice. The first time he hadn’t been ready and nearly watered his shoes, the next time the animal sounded so desperate that he considered inviting the thing to come back and eat the rat-dog.
Meet . Of course, he meant meet.
He hollered to Sage as he walked back, “You decent?”
“To my standards, yes. To yours? I don’t know, you might vomit.”
He hopped into the car and tried to suppress his repulsion.
“I’ll clean it up!” She promised. “I feel like I got a muddy baptism. Your car is an innocent bystander.”
Leo chucked a little, storing his muddy jacket in the back seat. She had sure done a number on it. How was there a footprint on the ceiling?
“No big deal. Your outfit though.” He hissed through his teeth.
“I wasn’t about to put on jeans in the car! That’s like trying to put toothpaste back in a tube.”
Her outfit was adorable. But she wouldn’t ever hear that from him. Tight leggings that flared at the bottom, a cropped sweatshirt (with the dog on it, of course), her hair in a loose braid to the side, and a pink beanie made for a cute “I am comfortable in my own skin” type of vibe. It suited her.
He reached out and touched her cheek with his thumb. She paused, looking at him wide-eyed before he realized the gesture could convey something else. “So much mud,” he quickly said.
How was her cheek so soft?
“Whatever, it’s not like we're going anywhere fancy.” She turned to her phone, which only illuminated her beet-red face. Did she…feel uncomfortable in his presence? No. They had created an equilibrium of sorts these last weeks. A carefully cultivated balance of “I’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine.” Unless I am making your tea and you return the favor later by making my coffee just the way I like it. Unless I pick up that weird tea you like when I see it at the store. Unless you offer to chop veggies while I cook your favorite soup because you feel a cold coming on. Unless we are sharing Oreos and watching one of the best romance movies ever. (What? Drew Barrymore was the queen and Ever After only proved as much. )
Yes, they had a great, totally business-like equilibrium thing going.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Leo was a professional.
Sage cleared her throat. “You like clam chowder?”
In hindsight, that question was the first mistake of the night.
They opted to drive a little south to hit Mo’s, arguably one of the best places to grab a piping hot bowl of clam chowder, just to realize that the line was out the door and the wait was hours. Leo admitted he was tired, and it was clearly the opening Sage needed because she suggested a place down the street. She was likely equally tired but didn’t want to be the one to prevent him from getting (what he thought) was some well-earned clam chowder. He had carried a damsel in distress a hundred yards on his back, after all. Quite the gentleman and those gentlemanly (emphasis on the manly ) gestures deserved a piping bowl of soup.
They walked into Sunshine Palms and ordered “two of the biggest bowls of clam chowder you’ve got,” Leo said.
Walking in was mistake number two.
Ordering clam chowder was mistake number three.
They agreed that it was hard to determine if the clam chowder was halfway decent because they were so hungry or if it was just halfway decent.
Sage sighed. “It’s no Mo’s.” But she ate it anyway.
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Leo agreed, finishing off his bowl and ordering more garlic bread. (That was mistake number four. )
They resumed their musical debate, this time over who was better: Kenny Rogers or Jimmy Buffett, which they eventually decided was incomparable, especially when the stern-looking waitress came over and handed Leo the check. “It’s a wonder you two are still together considering all this bickering.”
It was Leo’s turn to blush.
Sage insisted on paying since it was her idea for clam chowder. He tried to slip his card over hers but she caught it and threatened to flush it down the toilet. She had an unusual look of excitement in her eye, so he actually believed her threats this time.
They agreed not to discuss music for the rest of the two-hour drive home to keep the fragile peace between them intact.
Instead, the pair quarreled about the best movies of all time and were surprised to find their tastes overlapped a little. Still, there was plenty to argue about until they hit about that forty-five-minute mark when Sage paused her yammering about “the chaotic beauty of Water World” to ask Leo to pull over at a rest stop or gas station or something so she could use the bathroom.
Normally this would have been great ammunition to remind her of her childish way of living life and the whole “you should have gone before we left” type of lecture. Leo had a few fun facts about the dangers of public restrooms, but he also had to use the bathroom. Bad.
He wasn’t a fan of rest stops, but the churning in his stomach was growing and Sage didn’t seem to complain about the shady rest stop right off the freeway. He insisted on clearing the bathroom stall before he allowed her to enter (which she did with a little extra pep in her step).
“I’ll be in the next one. Wait for me out here,” he called as he dove into the bathroom next door.
A trained professional wouldn’t have left his Subject like that. Instead, as he was busy unleashing his bubbling gut into the toilet (from both ends) he was grateful the thick walls prevented her from hearing what were likely inhuman sounds echoing from every orifice.
His insides screamed at him.
His phone lit up with a text and he was barely able to read it through the shakes overtaking him.
Sage: I might be a minute. Lady issues.
He vomited into the little trashcan next to him. (That’s why garlic bread was mistake number four.) Bullcrap. There was no way she was having “lady problems” unless she counted the involuntary cleanse they both took in the form of risky clam chowder as a “lady issue.”
Leo: If you’re having lady problems, call me the matriarch of Mother Nature then.
SAGE: I’m like a broken frozen yogurt machine in here.
Leo tried to laugh but it turned into a gurgle and then a groan.
LEO: I think my insides have turned to lava.
SAGE: I think the clams are claiming their revenge.
It took about ten minutes before they both braved the outside world, looking at each other’s shoes, both red-faced. They tried to make it to the car to press on like the soldiers they were, but they both bailed and sprinted back to the lavatories as fast as they could while squeezing their cheeks together. At least Leo hoped Sage was also doing the undignified half-run to the bathroom. He hadn’t even waited to see if she made it into her own stall before diving into his own.
Some hardened security guard he was.
After yet another ten minutes, they both agreed that they had nothing left in them and could brave the hour-and-a-half drive back to Sage’s home.
That was mistake number five.
But before mistake number five turned into mistake number six, Leo pulled over to a small but quaint hotel.
It looked as if Sage were going to put in a word of protest, but she grabbed her stomach, gagged, and hopped out of the car to vomit.
He guided her in as best as he could across the parking lot and pretty much pushed her into the lobby, where he parked her in front of a trash can. She held onto it as if it were the most precious thing in the world.
The clerk at the front was a little confused by the sense of urgency behind Leo’s request for two rooms and they had to be adjoining, and they must have two separate bathrooms. Now.
She clicked away at the computer, which felt more like the ticking of a bomb the longer it went on before she produced two room keys.
Leo and Sage grabbed them and darted toward the stairs.
“You forgot your credit card!” the woman called as Leo disappeared into the stairwell, dragging a woman as green as her namesake behind him.
“I’ll grab it in the morning!” he yelled. If he survived the night.
His stomach laughed at him. That tell-tale wave of nausea and accompanying cold sweat washed over him.
Sage got the keycard stuck in her door trying to pull it in and out before she just followed Leo to his room and disappeared through the door connecting their rooms.
“See you on the other side!” Leo called, trying in vain to add some humor to the situation (which was hard to do when he was dying.)
His answer came in the sound of Sage retching.