CHAPTER ELEVEN
Saylor
T urning over for the fiftieth time in the last hour, I check the blood red digital clock at five past six in the morning.
Not wanting to lay here any longer, I scoot over avoiding Brody’s arm and leg, so as to not wake him.
I need to be alone with my thoughts so I can figure out how I’m going to deal with this Levi situation.
I wanted to sleep in my room last night but Brody insisted that I not be alone in my thoughts; I’d be up all-night worrying.
Too bad that’s exactly what I did anyway.
It would be so easy to ice him out, take off and run away again, but is that what I want for my daughter?
I’ve been her only parent till now; what gives Levi the right to come charging in?
He says that he’s been looking for me, but I find it hard to believe with his resources and Mr. Buttons having knowledge of my whereabouts.
Mitch, who I had once gotten to know well when I was first married to Levi, has always been truthful with me, but my pessimist side tells me that my ex-husband pays him to do as he wants and says. So can I really rely on his word?
Ugh!
Another side of me says that I need to let him be a part of Halo’s life, even if he is only there popping in and out of it.
It seems that his attention span lasts only three to six months at a time.
Can I really put Halo through that? A part time dad?
She deserves to have the best, everything her little heart desires.
It would be so easy to get wrapped up in his charm and mesmerizing eyes, and his sex appeal.
The whole package really, but can I emotionally survive the next time he walks away to find greener pasture?
No. No I can’t. Brody is the safe bet and my safety net, who has been there through everything. Sure, this was an assignment to him at first, but what he confessed to me last night, before the bottom fell out, has my mind in a tailspin.
We just put Halo down in her crib, and I’m laying across Brody’s body as we make out like teenagers.
My thoughts from earlier, about feeling the electricity that only Levi can make me feel, are almost gone the more I’m concentrating on nothing but Brody.
But something is nagging me in the back of my mind.
When we were picking up Halo tonight at Grandma’s house, she smelt just like Levi.
She had his scent on her clothes and I swear a hint of his aftershave lingered on her body.
It’s weird because I haven’t smelt him in years, but as soon as I picked her up, I knew that smell right away.
Of course, I chalked it up to maybe Grandpa changing his cologne, but still something was there and I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Our bodies are rocking against each other and our hands are roaming.
It wasn’t but a few hours ago that he was inside of me, thrusting and enjoying our climaxes, before having to pick up my baby at Grandma’s house.
Brody pulls back from my swollen lips and looks deeply into my eyes.
I can see everything through them; happiness, future, security, family.
“I love you, Sadie,” he professes, and I gape at him.
“I don’t want you to say it back, but I just couldn’t go another minute with you not knowing.
The way we came together was unconventional, but I knew shortly after you’d change my world.
I see a future when I’m with you and Halo and when you are ready, I want to take that next step with you.
” He leans in and covers my mouth with his.
We pull away to catch our breath and let me gather my thoughts.
Is this too early to love each other? Do I love him?
We have been dating for almost two months, and have been ‘married’ for the last two and a half years.
He’s been there for me and seen me at my worst. He loves Halo like his own.
What more could I ask for in a man? Do it Saylor, leave the past behind and don’t look back.
Stop waiting for someone who is never going to come back or love you again.
But can I love him when my heart clenches every time something reminds me of Levi?
“Brody I…” The sound of car doors slam, bringing us out of our bubble.
“Go start the shower and get all lathered up, I’ll be there shortly.
Patrick and some of the guys stayed late to do some inventory,” he says as we stand, so he can open the door that was just knocked on.
We both head in different directions but he halts me before I make it to the hallway.
“And don’t you dare touch yourself before I get there, or I’ll tan your fine ass. ”
“I guess you better hurry up.” I twirl and head down the hall as he opens the door. His delicious threat is just enough to get my head back on straight. I’ve come to miss being touched and loved on that only a man can give me.
A blanket is magically placed across my lap, as Brody sits down in the other rocker on the porch, bringing me out of my thoughts from last night.
He places the baby monitor on the side table, along with my morning coffee.
When Halo was born, tea and water wasn’t cutting it anymore with the long nights of feeding, and I needed something with a little more kick. Coffee has been my savior to survive.
“Thank you.”
“Did you get any sleep at all last night?” He asks as Zeus makes his way through the doggie door and nudges my leg, while looking out at the pasture.
“I see that the workers are going to be enjoying all your treats from your lack of sleep,” he says.
Baking has always been a passion of mine from a young age.
Glammy taught me how to make simple cookies when I was five, and by the age of ten, I was providing desserts to our town for special events.
She and Granddad helped me open my bakery in LA, down from their spa.
I didn’t think it was going to be as successful as it was when it first opened, because of the competition around the big city, but it caught on like wildfire.
I was able to pay back all of their investments within the first six months.
At first, they refused the money saying that it was their pleasure to jumpstart my dreams, but I wanted to show them that I was working hard and able to make it all happen.
“Not really. My mind wouldn’t turn off.”
“We can go and leave this place behind. Just tell me what you want, and I can have us out of the country in a matter of a few hours.” Brody snaps his fingers.
He is such a good man; any girl would be lucky to call him husband.
“I mean it, in fact, let’s go on a little vacation, just the three of us.
We can go to the beach, Halo can play in the sand and ocean for the first time. Our own little family vacation.”
“I wish it were that simple.” I heave out a long breath.
“It can be, just say the words and I’ll make it happen,” he assures me.
We sit in silence for a while as I replay the last two years of my life here on the ranch.
I reminisce about my childhood time with my grandparents and occasionally my dad; being out here on this acreage of land has its healing abilities.
Country living is the best medicine. Halo loves it here, with all the animals and being around people.
Everly and I used to get lost out in the forest back where we grew up in Janesville, California.
We rock for a while, waiting for Halo to wake so that we can start our day, but I feel a cloud covering us today. Eventually Halo stirs and I’m about to stand, but Brody puts a hand on my knee, stopping me from rising.
“I don’t want to lose you and I feel like ever since last night, you’re pulling away from me.
I don’t want Thorne to try and taint your view of me by telling you things about me that aren’t true,” he cautiously states.
“I still stand by what I said last night. I love you and I want to take the next step with you. We can have the fairytale life, Sadie, you me and our little bear in there.”
I place my hand over his, “Brody, no matter what happens you will always be a part of mine and Halo’s life.
I wouldn’t be here right now with that beautiful, healthy little girl if it hadn’t been for you.
You aren’t losing me. I’m just not sure why he’s decided to come now.
And what in the world did he mean that he’s been looking for me and Halo this entire time.
Mr. Buttons hasn’t even tried to contact us so doesn’t that mean the threat is still out there?
Is Levi putting us in danger by coming here?
” My mind won’t stop running a mile a minute, but I need to focus on my baby.
I squeeze his hand and lean over and peck his lips before standing and making my way to Halo’s room.
Brody looked lost in thought, so I leave him there while I take care of my girl.
After breakfast, Brody and I take Halo over to the barn to feed the chickens and cows.
She loves chasing them around their pen, trying to give them food.
When all the food is given, I take her over to her little jungle gym some of the workers and Brody had built for her when she started walking.
When the temperature starts to rise, I bring her inside for a snack and juice while Brody checks in with Patrick.
I’m loading the dishwasher as Halo plays with Ginger, our newest German Shepherd that was a birthday gift from Brody, and Zeus in the living room.
She rolls all over them and they just sit there and take it like champs.
There is no doubt in my mind that they would die before something ever happened to that little girl.
The backdoor opens, as Brody walks in on the phone talking. He winks when he sees me, then passes the phone over to me. I give him a questioning look and he just smiles before striding over to Halo, and wrestles with Zeus.
“Hello?” I answer.