14. Quinn
CHAPTER 14
QUINN
My heart hasn’t stopped racing since we got into his truck, the sound of blood pumping through my ears like a stampede coming straight for me, yet I sit here stuck in place, ready to let him destroy me. It’s what he does to me with his constant mix of hot and cold, the back and forth enough to shock my system, always keeping me on edge—but I kind of love it. It’s what happens with Levi; you never really know what to expect, so those butterflies could mean anything.
The only thing I know for sure is that there’s something different about tonight, something that feels more dangerous yet more real than anything I’ve ever felt with him before. I can’t explain it. The air feels thick, like I have to focus just to breathe. My eyes keep drifting over to Levi, who’s gripping the steering wheel for dear life.
The only thing that keeps shocking me back to life is my phone buzzing in my lap, alternating between texts and phone calls from my uncle and Ally. They planned a family dinner at the very last minute and are disregarding the fact that I said I couldn't make it from the beginning.
Apparently, my uncle didn't get that memo, thanks to his wonderful assistant, and he’s now pissed at me because he planned a nice dinner.
Not my fault. She invited me via email, so I declined via email. He can’t blame me that he doesn’t look at his email and his assistant is as useful as tits on a bull.
Between that and the tension in the air with Levi, I'm a hair’s breadth away from a full-on nervous breakdown, yet the only thing that will ground me is his touch.
I miss it. The feeling of his body, the way his dick tastes, the way he'd grip my hair tightly as he'd jerk those last few times deep in my throat.
Fuck. I think I miss pleasuring him more than I miss him pleasuring me, and that sure as hell isn't because he's subpar.
The man couldn't be subpar at anything if he tried. No, I just truly love watching him lose himself, knowing that I may be on my knees, submitting to him, but I'm the one in control.
I used to think it was the other way around and that I was inferior for liking the things I did. Well, inferior or slutty depending on who you ask. It took a lot of time to accept, but Levi was the only one I trusted enough to really let take control—but once I had a taste of it, I craved it.
My eyes watch as everything passes by through the window, all a blur as the longer we drive, the darker it gets. We haven’t seen another car for miles, yet we just keep driving, the radio playing, but I couldn’t tell you a single song I’ve heard. Slowly, the car veers off the road down a dark path that, had I been with anyone else, would’ve had me running for the hills.
Except with Levi, it just feels like another adventure.
When he puts the truck in park, he turns to look at me with a grin. “I know it’s a bit chilly out tonight, but wanna lie in the truck bed?”
“Absolutely,” I say without a second thought. I’ll just demand his body heat if I get cold. That’s one way to break the ice—fucking melt it with our heat.
With that, he's gone, jumping out of the truck and slamming the door then running to my side to open it before I could even consider doing it myself.
Who says chivalry is dead?
Helping me out of the truck, he shuts the door and moves to the open back door. Grabbing a bin from the backseat, he opens it and pulls out pillows and blankets and starts setting up a bed in the back.
I want to be excited because it's adorable, yet all I can think about is how he's doing this with so much ease because this is probably what he does every other weekend.
He says it's just me.
But do I believe him?
Gesturing me over, I follow to where he lifts me up, his giant hands on my hips practically covering my entire stomach. The feeling of being engulfed by him is one of my favorite things about being with Levi. He makes me feel small yet strong. He makes me feel like I could be so vulnerable because he’ll protect me. With ease, he jumps up into the truck, slipping past me until he’s perched against the pillows, patting the spot next to him. “Come on, Angel, let’s look at the stars.”
My traitorous body listens, following his directions like it’s second nature as I scoot up and sit close to him, regardless of my better judgment. Right now, it’s easier to ignore the millions of questions I have for him, pushing them down for a later time because the fear of bursting this little bubble we’ve found ourselves in scares me enough to keep my mouth shut.
Lying down, our heads on the pillow and a blanket thrown over us, we stare at the night sky, the quiet sounds of nature around us intertwining with the sounds of our breathing, and I’m lost in a trance.
“I’ve always loved looking up at the sky with my nana. She said it was her favorite thing to do because it’s one of the things everyone has in common. When we look up, we’re all looking at the same sky. I loved remembering that whenever I was traveling for hockey because I hated leaving my grandparents, especially after my grandpa passed. But Nana reminded me that whenever I got sad, to just look up. It helped me feel close to her and I still love doing it,” Levi says quietly, almost like he’s talking to himself.
“She's a smart lady,” I tell him.
“She is...” He trails off, and we both sit in the comfort of the silence, something I’ve never truly felt with anyone else.
Just being here, sharing the same space as Levi, puts my mind at ease.
“Today was weird,” Levi starts, and my mind immediately begins to race, wondering what happened that made him feel this way.
Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Did I make a fool out of myself? Did I make a fool out of Levi? Fuck. This is why I’m bad at peopling. I stress out way too much and overanalyze absolutely every single one of my interactions, and I probably will for the next three to five business years.
“I didn’t expect her to talk to you so openly tonight. It honestly caught me off guard a bit.”
“What…what do you mean?” I ask when I realize he wasn’t adding on to his statement, instead leaving my mind stuck in a state of limbo, wondering what went wrong.
“She just doesn’t talk like that normally. At least not with anyone who isn’t me or the guys, but she’s known them for years, so it’s not as surprising that she’s willing to share and talk to them,” he says, face towards the stars as I turn just enough to look at him. His beautiful sapphire eyes are lit up by the stars, illuminating the tiny freckles you can barely see on his cheeks. I’ve never really sat and stared at Levi because any time we’ve been this close in the past was only because we were doing the horizontal tango, not talking about our lives.
“I mean, I think I’m pretty easy to talk to,” I say quietly, and he finally turns to look at me.
“You don’t understand. She told you about her illness. She told you about her Alzheimer’s and she admitted that she struggles with her memory…that’s not something she shares with most people. Hell, I probably wouldn’t know if I hadn’t been the one driving her to her doctor’s appointment that day.”
“Oh…” I say, biting my lip as I think of how to word this. I don’t want to lie to Levi and make him think that was new information. “About that…I’ve sort of known,” I tell him as I stare up at the Big Dipper like it’ll be able to transport me away from this moment.
“What?” he says, and his tone becomes more serious.
Sitting up, I look over at him, needing to really watch his reaction as I admit this story. I’ve always felt like an asshole that I was eavesdropping, and it wasn’t something I ever really wanted to admit to anyone because I was afraid of how he would react. But I guess now is as good of a time as ever.
“Remember when you and Ally were together?—”
“I try not to,” he deadpans, and I have to force back a laugh.
“There was one night I was going over to your and Ally’s place to drop something off for her, and before I could knock on the door, I heard you two arguing. I…I didn’t leave, so I heard you, and well, I guess you two were arguing about your nana.”
“I remember,” he says quietly, so I go on.
“You were telling her about that appointment…the one where the doctor confirmed that she had Alzheimer’s and recommended that she transition to assisted living. You were so concerned, but Ally, she just wasn’t. It was like she didn’t care because she was only worried about herself, and it killed me for you. I could hear the devastation in your voice and the passion when you told Ally that you were going to do everything you could to make sure she was taken care of. Hearing my sister complain about the cost of taking care of someone you love broke my damn heart, and it took everything in me not to walk through that door and punch her in the nose.”
I want to keep talking, rambling on to fill the space so that I can keep explaining and probably overexplaining this memory so that I don’t feel like he’s mad at me for not telling him after all these years. I just didn’t know how to tell him something so important, something that felt so violating for me to know without him ever sharing. Especially because when I learned this information, it was at a time we could barely even hold a conversation unless you count small talk about food or the weather, never anything of substance.
Besides, after he started dating my sister, she made sure the two of us were never alone, but that’s just because she knew then how I felt about him and didn’t want me to steal him away. Either way, there was never really a good time for me to tell him about it, so I never did.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?” he says, perking up instantly. “That’s not what I’m saying. At all. Or I guess not saying because I sort of just went brain-dead when you brought up that day.”
“Huh?”
“That was the day that I realized Ally couldn’t truly be my forever. I mean, realistically, I always knew she wasn’t, but I at least hoped I was wrong, you know? It’s not like I wanted it to end. I didn’t go into a relationship with Ally assuming it was going to fail—that’d be fucked. I guess I was just young and dumb and sad enough to think maybe it could work out. I don’t know. But it was a shitty day, realizing I couldn’t pretend we were okay any longer.”
“That’s…hard,” I tell him, and it is. I’m sure it was hard going through it but damn, it’s hard hearing about it.
“It was. Especially everything that was going on with my nana.”
“Which is why you were determined to stay…even when Ally mentioned moving away.”
“You knew about that?”
“Yeah, she told me she would take you away from me,” I start, and his eyes widen.
Fuck. I shouldn’t have said any of this.
“Take me away…from you?”
“Yeah…I’m not sure…I mean Ally always sort of seemed annoyed about our friendship, jealous but vindictive, like she needed to do something about it.”
“You mean, the girl who was engaged to me…the one who cheated on me, was jealous of our friendship? Make that make sense.”
“Couldn't even if I wanted to,” I mumble because I still hate talking about this.
“There has to be a reason why she would think that…right?” Levi pushes, and I can feel his eyes engrained on my face, the feel of it burning a hole in the side of my head, but I can’t bring myself to look at him.
I’m afraid if I look at him, if I let him really look at me, he’ll fall deep in the trenches of my feelings, my memories, and he’ll know exactly why Ally was concerned.
No matter how much I have tried to deny it, I can’t let him know that I’ve been in love with him for years because then I’ll just be made the fool, again.
“Look at me,” he demands, and I know damn well he’ll get what he wants. I’ll do it willingly, so fighting it now is useless.
Forcing nearly all emotion off my face, at least those that give away my lies, I turn to look at Levi. “No, there was no reason,” I declare, not missing the wave of defeat that crosses his eyes before quickly vanishing into the depths, masked by his usual flirtatious grin.
“Aw, I figured maybe you had a crush on me or something, and she was jealous,” he jokes, but the accuracy of his guess hits me square in the feels. It’s like I’m transported back in time to when I had fallen for the cute boy who liked to spend time with me. Only, while I was asking his friend how to get through to Levi and get his attention, he was using that time to get with my sister.
That was the part that hurt the most, that he threw away our friendship to be with my sister when the only reason my sister was with him, at least in the beginning, was because she refused to let me be happy.
I’m almost positive she was allergic to my happiness and did anything she could to subvert it, including making sure I was miserable whenever she was around.
“Wishful thinking,” I laugh, as I turn back to lay my head down on the pillow.
“Yeah, Angel, that’s the story of my life,” he says with a shrug before lying back down. “Tell me more about you and your sister.”
“That’s a story for another night. It’s…complicated,” I tell him. I know he won’t like my avoidance, but I really don’t feel like going down that rabbit hole tonight, especially when I’ve just started to process how my relationship with Ally has changed.
“I get it,” he says, his eyes softer than usual, more tender as he looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. It’s raw, unnerving, and feels damn near violating, yet I could soak up his gaze for hours. The feeling of his eyes on me charges me up, makes me feel almost electric.
My eyes drop to his lips again, lips I’ve missed, lips I’ve dreamed about.
“Quinn,” Levi growls, his voice low and seductive, hitting my brain in just the right way to drive me wild. “You can't look at me like that.”
“Like what?” I ask as I watch him, forcing myself to stay still as I feel myself being tugged toward him, almost like our lips are magnetic. The pull between us is nearly too much, as if we’re two halves just begging to be whole.
“Like I'm your next meal,” he says as his eyes fall back down to my lips.
“Maybe I wish you were,” I whisper, finally allowing myself to slowly drift toward him as he leans in.
“But…you said...” Levi grits out, his eyes bouncing from my eyes back down to my lips. “You said we couldn’t.”
“I know what I said,” I tell him, freezing once again, even though Slutty Quinn wants to climb him like a tree right now—and he knows it.
Down, girl. Your time to shine will come.
I’ve gotten us this close; I want him to choose what he wants, to make the decision.
I want him to know that he wants me, and to want me enough to make the damn move. Either he’s going to kiss me, or he won’t, but I’m not going to decide for him.
“You said it was for good reason,” Levi mumbles, obviously confused. At least that means it’s working. Mr. Sure-Of-Himself is not often confused or unsteady when he talks; he’s always smooth, saying exactly what he needs to.
But to catch him off guard a bit…I like that way more than I should from a man who I only used to expect orgasms from. Vulnerability was not something I expected from him tonight—at least not in the way he’s showing it now.
Vulnerability for us has always been just having the ability to be ourselves in the bedroom. Being able to enjoy the things we like, knowing the other won’t judge, especially when our interests benefit each other. In reality, it’s simple. Levi likes to be in charge, likes to take control in the bedroom, and me? I like to submit.
Sort of a symbiotic relationship, in a fucked-up way.
His eyes watch me intently, but he’s frozen in place like he can’t quite get a grip on the situation. So I help him the only way I know how.
Sass.
“Are we hard of hearing, Mr. Crosby? I know what I said,” I tease, and his eyes darken, causing my internal cheering right now that I have this effect on this man.
Yet he still doesn’t move.
Smirking up at him, I tap my finger against my lip in thought. “You know, I’ll have to tell my uncle if you’re having hearing problems because it might affect your play. Should we get you checked in case you need hearing aids? Maybe one too many hits to the head knocked something loose, but it’s understandable. I mean, you’re getting ol?—”
“Fuck this,” he growls as he lunges forward.
Slamming into me, his lips crash down onto mine like a hurricane, swallowing me whole. There’s nothing sweet or gentle about his kiss, and it’s damn sure to leave a mark by morning. And like the emotional masochist I tend to be, I fall straight into the center of it.
Or over it, as his hand grabs my hip, pulling me until I'm straddling him, my hands immediately falling to his biceps as I struggle to keep my balance. His hands move into my hair, tugging me down even further until our bodies are flush together, nothing between us except the clothes covering our bodies, and I feel everything—and I mean everything—as he grinds his hips up just right. His hard dick rubbing against my clit in the perfect way to give me the smallest taste of ecstasy.
Just enough to drive me wild and keep me hooked, like all the worst drugs do.
Only this is an addiction I’ll never be ready to kick; my body is becoming too dependent on his touch, and my mind is becoming too dependent on his companionship.
With the stars above me and Levi below me, we make out and dry hump like a couple of teenagers while the crickets chirp around us. Our hands explore, and our tongues tangle before he pulls back, his mouth pressing soft kisses down my neck and across my collarbone before making his way back up the other side.
I can't help the moan that slips past my lips.
“Fuck, Q. I want you so fucking bad,” he mumbles before his fingers are back in my hair, pulling me back down on top of him.
The feeling of Levi’s body rolling up into mine shouldn’t feel quite as wonderful as it does, but I must be so deprived of the male touch that any sort of contact in a truly intimate manner, even just dry humping and making out like this, will probably do the trick for me right now.
But I want more. I need more. The feeling of his dick between us, hard and ready as it ruts into my center like it knows exactly where it wants to be…I want the same.
But first, I want him to fuck my face. I crave the way his eyes roll back when I take him all the way into my throat. I love the way he holds my head still right before he comes. Fuck, I love the whole dirty, depraved act where he thinks he’s in control but that’s only because I let him.
And I want that…right now.
Pulling back from the kiss, I ignore his growl as I slowly slide down his body. His eyes are dark, the stars reflecting off the midnight blue, and the only thing I see are the flames of desire reflected back at me. It only spurs me on, pushes me further, and in no time, I’m undoing his pants and sliding them down enough to release his cock, licking my lips the second I see it like it’s a popsicle on a hot day.
This sounds ridiculous, but he really has the most beautiful dick I’ve ever seen in my life, and that’s not just because I know how good it feels inside me. It’s huge, thick, and a bit intimidating, but it’s 100% worth it every single time time—and those are pretty impressive odds if you ask me.
“Suck it, Q. Don’t just look at it. Remind me what those pretty lips can do,” Levi rasps out.
Opening my mouth, I take him in, just enough to taste, dragging my tongue along the head of his cock, loving the way his hips jerk at the contact like he’s as desperate as I am for this. Sliding him in even further this time, his hands move to either side of my head, gently cupping yet holding me close.
“Such a good girl, taking my cock like the good little slut I know you are,” he groans out, his words turning me on even more. The simple praise does it for me, especially when I know it’s because I’m doing exactly what he needs right now. That’s the thing about Levi; if you give him control, he shows you exactly what he wants, trusting that I’ll stop him the second I need to. But I don’t often need to…
Like now, as his fingers are tugging on my hair as I slide back before changing pace and he’s bringing my mouth back down. Every thrust, every motion, goes a little further until, eventually, my nose is touching his pelvic bone, his dick resting in the back of my throat as I look up at him with tears in my eyes.
But the man looking back at me is feral, chasing a primal need as he begins fucking my mouth with long, hard pumps of his hips. At this point, I’m a fuck toy, a means to an end, and the thought of being that for Levi makes me wetter than the damn ocean. He doesn’t slow down, his movements becoming wilder as he gets closer and closer, the tell-tale sign of his cock twitching deep in my throat and the slightly salty taste bursting on my tongue has my pussy clenching with need.
“What’re you guys doing out here? This is private property!” a voice shouts right as a flashlight starts shining on the front of Levi’s truck, but I can’t say anything as Levi slides out of my mouth only to quickly slide right back in, his cock gagging me as we’re being yelled at.
Fuck, we should run.
But I don’t want to.
“You’re taking me so good, Angel,” he grunts out as he thrusts up, his hand on the back of my head gripping tighter as he looks down at me. “Fuck,” he groans, his voice cracking as he pulls back out.
It seems like he doesn’t want me to stop either as he holds me in place, his hips pistoning upward as he chases his release. The closer he gets, the more uncontrolled his movements become, getting deeper, more feral as he groans my name, and seeing how good he feels right now, knowing I’m giving him this…it’s all the enjoyment I need. Digging my nails in his thigh, I breathe through my nose as he hits the back of my throat before pulling out and doing it again, every thrust becoming more and more reckless than the last, which tells me he’s about to come.
“Hello?” I hear the voice again, only this time it’s even closer.
“I’m coming, Q,” Levi grits out as he holds me still, slowly sliding in and out as he milks his orgasm, making sure every drop spills down my throat before sliding out just as quickly, pulling his jeans back on as we both hop out of the back before peering over the edge towards where we could hear the voice. Seeing he’s still a bit away from us, Levi looks down at me with a grin before quickly saying “Go!”
With a tap on my ass, he urges me around the other side of the truck, grabbing the driver’s side door and opening it for me to jump in. The man’s voice gets louder but I can barely hear it from the blood pounding in my ears as we rush to get safely inside the truck. Hopping in, I fall over the center console down the passenger’s side, my legs up in air as Levi hops in behind me, slamming the door and starting the ignition. Before I can even react, we’re gone, tires spinning down the road as Levi hits the gas.
Quickly getting myself situated and my seatbelt on, I look back to where we just were and see a blanket flying out the back of the truck, landing at the feet of the man with the flashlight. Turning to look back at Levi, we both start laughing. The excitement of tonight mixed with the thrill of almost getting caught is too much for either of us to hold in.
That and the tension building between us, along with all the time I’ve been spending with him at home and in the arena, has me realizing that I don’t think this is fake to me anymore—at least the feelings don’t feel fake. Not from either of us. And while it scares me, lately it’s been making me question a few things.
Especially how real this could be—and maybe, just maybe, it could be.
For both of us.