18. Quinn
CHAPTER 18
QUINN
“I don’t want to go.” I groan as Levi helps me slip my jacket on as I finish getting ready in his bathroom.
“I know, Angel, but we kind of have to,” Levi says.
“I know…but I don’t wanna.”
It’s just not worth the ass-chewing I would receive if I skipped out on tonight’s dinner. My uncle would be pissed if I bailed.
He’s already been such a dick about this dinner, telling me I ditched the last one and believing my sister when she lied and said I told her I’d be there. She just wanted me to look bad, to make it look like I was choosing Levi—a man they both hate—over my family. I know her games; she’s been like this since we were teenagers. I just keep hoping that one day she’ll snap out of it and stop acting like we’re against each other.
There are times when I see the old Ally, little snippets that give me hope, and it’s almost cruel because all it does is make me miss her, make me miss my sister being my best friend even though it hasn’t been like that for years.
“Who’s all going to be there again?”
“Just my aunt and uncle, Ally, and her boyfriend,” I say, checking myself in the mirror. I dressed casually compared to what Ally will probably show up wearing, but it’s not like we’re going to some five-star restaurant. It’s Nashville. I went with a pair of wide leg, high waisted jeans and cute buttons up the sides. I paired that with a tank top and a leather jacket, and this is about as fancy as I feel like getting. But I can’t shake the usual self-doubt, comparing myself to how effortlessly pretty and put-together my sister always looks. It’s a messy game, one that always ends in me feeling less than.
“What are you thinking about?” Levi asks, tilting my face up toward his—a simple gesture he does often, even just to talk. But it’s one I find so sexy. Maybe it’s because I love looking into his deep blue eyes, but it makes me feel close to him, connected in a way.
But also exposed, like he can read every thought and every emotion. And in this moment, I hate it.
“I just don’t want to go.”
“But why? Do you really think your he is going to give you that much of a hard time?” Levi asks.
“It’s not him I’d prefer not to see. It’s Ally.”
“I wish, for your sake, that you two got along better. I hate that you don’t and that you lost someone you used to be close with,” Levi says, his hand gently brushing down my hair, a tender gesture that makes me feel cared for, supported. Something you don’t do with your fake boyfriend or girlfriend.
But nothing we’ve been doing lately has really felt fake. Even just hanging out, the touches have become more common—casual touches here and there, little kisses on my forehead or in my hair. It’s all made me feel so close to him that if this is fake, I don’t want to know.
“Me too, but at this point, I think pigs will fly before my sister is nice to me. Can we not go? I don’t want to hear her tell me my outfit sucks or I look silly or something.”
“She would really say that?”
“She has before,” I tell him, shrugging it off.
“You’re fucking stunning, Quinn. If she’s saying anything like that to you, it’s because she’s jealous. There is absolutely no other reason because it’s so false, it’s not even funny.”
“Oh, stop,” I say, slipping from his hold and heading out toward the living room. “Don't be ridiculous, Levi.”
“Me?” I hear from behind me as I grab my purse and take one last look in the entryway mirror only to see Levi walking up behind me.
Stalking would be a more appropriate term, but who has time for semantics?
“I'm not the one being ridiculous. You're gorgeous, Quinn. Don't let the opinion of someone else dictate how you view yourself.”
My heart swells at the sincerity in his words. I can hear it in his voice how much he wants me to believe him.
“Let's just go have fun,” I tell him through the mirror, pleading with him to just drop it. Thankfully he leans down and places a kiss on my cheek before swatting my ass.
“Come on, Angel. Let's go fight the devil.”
* * *
Why I even remotely thought tonight would be any different than past dinners is beyond me, especially since it's not just as bad.
It's worse.
It’s incredible how, in one meal, my sister can somehow make everything about her. It would almost be impressive if it wasn’t also completely annoying and rude, which I’m beginning to think her boyfriend Wilson is starting to notice.
When we first got here, my aunt was at the table while my uncle went to the bar to grab a drink. She gave me a big, warm hug. She's always been one of my favorite huggers in the world.
My sister and her boyfriend have been showing way more PDA than usual, which just makes my aunt and uncle want to talk to us more. Sounds great and all. Except every time we try to answer one of their questions, Ally jumps in.
That lasted all the way through drinks and appetizers, and thankfully, we just got our meals, so maybe she'll put food in her face hole instead of talking so much. The thing keeping me grounded is Levi's fingers playing with my shoulder as his other hand lays on my thigh.
“How did all your appointments with the players go last week?” Ally says, her smirk making me want to lean over the table and smack her across the face. But she just sits there staring at me like a little brat, taking a bite of steak from the tip of her knife like a savage.
Conniving bitch! I think, as Levi squeezes my shoulder, his thumb rubbing little circles and keeping me sane, preventing me from leaping across the table and actually smacking her.
“They were fine. We’re seeing good progress with quite a few of them already,” I tell her, watching as my uncle nods and smiles at the positive news.
“But, Ally, in the future, like I’ve already mentioned before, please don’t touch my schedule,” I say as politely as I can, although the emphasis on touch was pretty blatant.
“I was just following through with what Uncle Ronnie asked for,” Ally says sweetly, but I see through her act. Unfortunately, I can’t stop myself from reacting. My tolerance for her bullshit is pretty non-existent these days.
“If you had looked more closely at my calendar, you would’ve seen that I had already finished scheduling everyone and was starting next week’s appointments since I was supposed to be off this week. Not only that, but the days and times for the players didn’t match what their program called for, so in some cases, it was actually a waste of everyone's time,” I snap before grabbing my glass of wine and taking a gulp.
Ally sits there for a moment, biting her lip and glancing back and forth between me and our uncle, like she’s not sure how to cover her ass. Only she’s never had to—Uncle Ronnie always does it for her.
“I think Ally was only trying to help, wouldn’t you agree, Quinn?” my uncle says, deliberately looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ally start to smile, knowing she won’t need to get herself out of this mess.
“Actually, no. She deliberately broke our protocol, again , and stepped into an area she has no training for.”
“She’s been working with me for a while, Quinn. We both know she knows more than the average person.”
“Really? But you were so adamant that I couldn’t help at all until I finished schooling. Yet it’s different for Ally? Why’s that?”
“Is this really how we are going to spend tonight’s meal?” he says, and I know the conversation is over—for now. He won’t listen to a single thing I say.
Now I’m even more frustrated that he’s on her side because, years ago, I offered to help with scheduling. I understood the timing needed for certain appointments and how to read the plans for the number of days and so on.
But he said no.
I’m actually more hurt than frustrated. I spent years going to school to do this job, the dream being to work with him since I was a little kid…but why? Why has this been my dream if he’s just proving he’s holding my sister and me to different standards? I’ve had to work, fight, and claw my way to the finish line to get the same things she can just take.
Now I’m left feeling like an unwanted visitor amongst my own family.
“I think Quinn has a fair point, though, Coach, don’t you?” Levi says, surprising me. His arm tightens around me, pulling me in just enough to remind me he’s here.
I’m not actually alone.
Ally looks pissed though, and if glares could kill, Levi and I would both probably be dead. At least we’d go out together.
“What do you mean, Crosby?” he grumbles, obviously annoyed that we’re still having this conversation when he tried to kill it.
“I know Cooper was incorrectly scheduled, so he wasn’t given the full time needed, which is all fine and dandy, except it was an absolute pain in the ass for him to find childcare that day after Ally rescheduled what Quinn had already worked with him on. He stressed and stressed about trying to find a sitter for Lucas, and thankfully at the last second he found someone. It was a huge inconvenience, especially because Ally had double-booked a few of the times already, which meant not only were the appointments cut short, but Quinn’s time had to be divided, so it was just a huge waste of people’s time, including Quinn’s.”
“I can see how that would be frustrating,” my uncle replies.
“Especially when it had already been handled. I think, just like you tell us players, we all need to remember to stay in our lanes.”
Ally deflates, her big ego from before now shrinking. My internal cheerleader does backflips at the fact that Ally got knocked down a peg or two—for me.
“Fair. Next time, though, Cooper can just bring Lucas if there’s a challenge like that. That five-year-old is cute as shit, and Ally could hang out with him for an hour if she needed,” Uncle Ronnie says, and Ally looks disgusted.
She’s not big on kids…like, at all, so if this actually happens, it’ll be fun to watch.
“I mean, I guess,” she says with a shrug, looking over at Wilson with her nose crinkled. “Can you imagine me spending time with kids?”
“Nope,” he says with a dry laugh. “Kids aren’t exactly your thing; they’re too soft and can’t handle your humor.”
You mean her bitchiness…
“But you get me,” she says with a giggle, and Wilson laughs, but I don’t miss the subtle eyeroll as he turns back to my uncle, changing the subject.
Thank God. At this point, I want to take this as a win and move on for the night.
“So, how is work going?” Aunt Sylvia asks as we all sit, staring at each other. “How’s the transition into the Head Trainer role been?”
She’s looking at me, her warm smile filling me with happiness as she seems genuinely interested in hearing how it’s going.
“It’s been great,” I tell her excitedly.
“She's starting to get the hang of it,” Ally says, interrupting as usual.
My aunt’s eyes widen, darting back and forth between me and Ally as she watches in shock.
“Excuse me?” I snap, and I can see my uncle watching me intently. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Quinn,” my uncle says, his voice steady, but it's anything but calm.
He hates our fights.
“Sorry Uncle Ronnie, but Ally, the girl who can’t even answer emails or the damn phone, wants to critique me on how I do my job, one that took me years to get a degree for? Yeah, hard pass,” I say, my voice trembling with anger that Ally always feels like she can interject herself into every conversation. It’s bullshit, and not everything revolves around her.
“Can you just get along with your sister for once?” Uncle Ronnie seethes, and I’m almost positive I see Ally smirk, but in a blink it’s gone, her pathetic deer in headlights look back in place.
Me? I’m the problem I think, not even sure how to respond, but thankfully Levi beats me to it.
“Coach, with all due respect, Ally has been nothing but rude and passive-aggressive to Quinn all evening, and somehow you’re dismissing it as acceptable. It’s not okay, and I’m not going to sit back and let Quinn get disrespected by her own family,” Levi says as he sets his napkin down and stands up.
I sit there with my mouth hanging open, my eyes bouncing between Levi and my uncle as they continue having a silent stare off—one not suited for the weak with those looks they’re serving. I’m so lost I hardly even realize his hand in mine as he brings me with him, already having my purse in hand.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“Home. We’ll see you at practice on Monday.”
With that, he gathers my jacket and purse, grabbing my hand in his as we start to walk away from the table. Some people are watching us, but that’s not surprising. First off, I’m with a hockey player. Second off, they probably just watched that whole situation go down and are wondering what’s going on.
Same, dude…same.
But fuck it.
* * *
Walking through the doors to Levi’s house, we’re both quiet, just like we were the entire drive home. I can feel the tension rolling off his body, and it’s hard not to take it personally. I hate it because I don’t want to go to bed. I don’t want to sit in my room and replay the night in my head—the way my sister treated me and how my uncle never stood up for me. He just watched as it happened.
Even my aunt seemed upset, but she’s never been one to step in during conflict. She says it stresses her out. Passing by the entry mirror that I looked at earlier this evening, I barely even recognize the girl staring back at me, the events of tonight clearly weighing me down. My eyes are red rimmed and watery, my nose is rosy from sniffling, yet it’s the pain in my chest that’s almost unbearable.
It feels like there’s an elephant sitting on my chest, except it’s just the pain of my family never being on my side and never choosing to protect me.
“You want to forget?” Levi whispers into my ear.
“Yes,” I say, fighting back tears. “I don’t want to think about it anymore…not tonight.”
I don’t want to think about how my family made me feel tonight. How they turned me into an outsider instead of one of them. It sucked. I mean, how depressing is it that the only person at that table who stood up for me was Levi? And he had to do it against his ex-fiancée, with her new boyfriend—the one she cheated on him with—sitting right there by her side.
“I can help, but only if you trust me,” he says, and I immediately nod.
“Yes, please, Levi,” I tell him, ready to beg as embarrassment starts to wash over me.
“Then go to my room and get naked. I want you kneeling by my bed when I get upstairs,” he says, a little grin playing on his lips.
“What’re you going to do?” I ask before I leave.
“Just getting you water, Angel. I have a feeling you’re going to be very thirsty tonight,” he says before swatting my butt.
“Now go on. I want you ready before I get up there.”