Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
AIDEN
There’s something… off about Levi.
In the last week, he’s been unusually quiet. It’s not like he was particularly chatty to begin with, but I can tell something is weighing on him, and I’m only slightly irritated he’s not confiding in me.
I watch him through the glass window as he showers, staring at all his scars, my dick perking up when I see my barely-healed name on his chest. I would have joined him had I not chosen to stand here and pout instead. I know that I should just say something, ask point blank what he’s hiding, but I don’t feel like that’s necessary.
I know he’d never do anything to harm me. I know that every action he takes is only to benefit me. I’m not questioning his loyalty and his devotion, so he’s earned himself some space.
Right?
He catches my eye when he turns to rinse his hair. He smiles wolfishly, teasing his fingers against my name, and I know what game he’s playing. He loves it when I get desperate for him, beg him to fuck me, only to turn around and have me take control. It’s a little game we’ve started playing with each other and, even though my sore hole is aching to be wrecked, I’m not biting tonight.
No, tonight he needs to come clean.
When he steps out of the shower, hard cock jutting out toward me, I ignore it and hand him a towel instead. He takes it with a raised brow, drying himself off in silence as he tips his head. “Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Is it?”
He takes a step back and drops his towel. “Is this a test?”
“No,” I shake my head, exasperated at my own reluctance to just get this conversation over with. “It’s nothing.”
I go to turn away, but his hand darts out to grab my elbow and pull me toward him. He clenches his jaw, nails digging into my skin. “It’s not nothing. What’s wrong?”
“Do you love me?” I blurt out, my eyes widening when I realize what I’ve just asked. That was one hundred percent not planned, but for some reason, that’s what came out of my mouth. When he wrinkles his nose in confusion, I shake my head. “Forget it. I don’t know why I asked that.”
I walk—more like race—out of the bathroom. Fuck, what’s wrong with me today? It’s like Levi’s unsettled mood is affecting me too, making me say stupid shit and feel just generally disoriented. Is this what codependency feels like?
“Wait, Aiden,” he says, coming out of the bathroom, still naked, and reaching for my hands. “What do you mean?”
I square my shoulders, find my courage, and repeat my question. “Do you love me, Levi?”
“I guess I don’t understand what you’re asking,” he says simply, not a hint of deceit in his silver eyes. “What is love supposed to feel like?”
My heart softens for him. Sometimes, especially with the way he takes care of me, it’s easy to forget that he’s something different than human. He’s more animal than man. More beast than anything else. My monster who doesn’t always understand basic human emotions.
It makes me sigh and sit down on the bed, patting the spot beside me. Without hesitation, he sits, reaching for my hands once again. I take a deep breath, look him straight in the eyes, and smile. “I love you, Levi. You’ve become my entire world. I know now what I didn’t before. We’re meant for each other and the amount of love I fucking feel for you nearly kills me.”
His chest starts to rise and fall, and I know it’s not out of panic. When he gets overwhelmed, he sometimes doesn’t know what to do with himself. When the emotions become too much, when he doesn’t know how to differentiate them all, he panics. That’s when he hurts himself.
He’s already presenting his arms when I grab the knife where I left it on the bed and press it against his bicep. I slice his skin, deep enough to scar, but not deep enough to need stitches. “What are you thinking?” I ask gently, leaning forward to lick the blood off his wound. “Remember, you’re safe with me.”
“I don’t know if I can tell you what you want to hear,” he starts, fingers shaking as I make another line across his arm. He sighs in relief, closing his eyes for the briefest of seconds. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
My sweet fucking psycho monster. I soothe him with my lips against his cheek. “Just the truth. That’s all. What do you feel?”
“I’m obsessed with you. No, that’s not right. I’m possessed by you.” He hisses when I cut him again but the following groan reminds me that he needs it. “I watched you, stalked you, wanted you like I’ve never wanted anybody else.” I’m about to give him another cut when he grabs my wrist, bringing it up to his mouth so he can kiss my pulse point. “All I know is that when I get in my own head, when everything is too much, and when I need something I can’t understand, you calm everything down. Is that love?”
My heart bursts for him. With tears in my eyes, I press my forehead against his and chuckle through a sob, the intensity of my feelings for him reaching the never-ending peak. “It is to me and that’s all that matters.” I kiss him gently. “But love means that you tell each other things, and you’ve been keeping something from me. What is it?”
He tenses and I don’t miss it. He’s reluctant for some reason, but I give him the time he needs to fully articulate his words. “We need to leave.”
“What?” I ask in confusion. “What do you mean?”
He turns and cups my cheeks in his large scarred hands. “We can’t have a life here, Aiden. I’ve been thinking and planning and we have to go. You were only meant to be a bounty, a sacrifice, and neither Master nor my brothers will just let us be together.”
I guess I was stupid for not knowing that all along. I mean, I knew about the sacrifice because he told me, but I didn’t consider that he’d be forced to go through with it. That was idiocy on my part that blinded me to the reality of our situation.
“Okay,” I whisper, wetting my lips. “When do we go?”
He chuckles, brushing his thumb against my nose. “Just like that, huh?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. “I trust you. If you think that leaving is what we need to do then we’ll do it.”
“Tomorrow.”
My eyes do widen at that. “So soon?”
“The sooner the better. I found us a little house on the mainland,” he explains, an almost excited glint in his eyes. “Mammon keeps cash in the safe in the basement. I don’t know what we’ll do when that runs out, but we’ll figure it out. Tomorrow morning, we’ll go. We’ll take the cash, catch the ferry, and just leave.”
I nod but think about how hard this must be for him. Even though he’s acting like it’s not a big deal, I know that leaving his brothers must be weighing on him. That’s probably the reason he hasn’t said anything. Not because he isn’t going to go through with it but because he doesn’t want to process what it means.
I vow to make his sacrifice worth it.
“That sounds like a plan,” I say. To lighten the mood, I nip at his chin. “We’re bringing Zeus, right?”
“That furry creature?” He snorts. “Of course. But he’ll need a new name, just like us.”
“I’ve always liked the name Carter,” I muse, tapping my forefinger against my chin. “What about you?”
He shakes his head, pecking my nose before grabbing a discarded shirt to wipe the blood off his arm. “You can call me whatever you want. You choose.”
“That power will go to my head.”
“Like it hasn’t already.”
I laugh when he tackles me onto the bed, play-wrestling until I wind up on top of him and start peppering his face with kisses. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Because as long as we’re together, everything will be fine.”
I nod, kissing him deeply. “The other half of my soul. My monster.”
“My owner,” he whispers to me, bringing me down until I’m plastered against his chest. “It’s all going to be alright. I promise.”
And in my heart, I know it to be true.