Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
ONE YEAR LATER
Ican do this. I deserve to be here just as much as everyone else.
I repeat the mantra in my head as I walk up to the building housing my very first college lecture. When the acceptance letter came in the mail, I thought it was a mistake. A joke. Especially since I didn’t apply here. I didn’t apply anywhere.
Honestly, I was thankful to even be able to finish high school. I didn’t think I would after I left. But somehow, the school arranged for me to finish my studies online, allowing me to graduate. Well, I doubt it was a miracle. And more than likely, it was Mr. Petrov’s doing.
He came and found me two days after I left. I begged him not to tell Lex anything. Which I’m guessing he didn’t, because I never did hear from Lex. And I know him. If he knew why I really left school, he would have come for me.
I suspect my acceptance letter to NYU was also Mr. Petrov’s doing.
I’m not sure why he wanted to help me. I met him once, and since I left school, I’ve only heard from him that one time too.
But I have had calls from Mrs. Petrov, and a therapist showed up at my front door one day, and she kept coming three times a week.
She had said the sessions were paid for, and since I was driving my mom insane, I let her in and I tried to get past what happened to me.
And there have been other things, like the fact my mom landed a good-paying job at a local hotel. The job also came with a two-bedroom apartment. Unheard of. But Mom was so happy I didn’t tell her I thought the Petrovs made it happen.
She’s also been sober and single the entire year.
I’ve hidden out at home. It took six months before I’d leave the house.
And another two months after that before I’d leave without my mother.
I deferred my school offer. I figured if I started later, there was less risk of running into Lex—if, by chance, he came here.
I know all of his family attends NYU. They like staying in New York.
My heart pounds as I enter the building.
I mentally count to ten, work on slowing my breathing, and remind myself that I’m safe.
Nothing is going to happen to me here. I think back to the beautiful bunch of flowers that was delivered to my dorm room this morning.
They were from Mrs. Petrov with a card that said congratulations.
I cried and then got my shit together and decided I was really doing this.
Which is how I’m here now, walking through the crowded building, looking up at the numbers above the doors. I need room one-two-six. Finding it, I sigh in relief and walk inside. I choose a seat in the back. I don’t really like having people behind me. It makes me nervous.
Opening my bag, I lean over to take out a notebook and pen when a body falls into the seat next to mine. My hands begin to shake. Shit. I really can’t do this. I need to leave.
Standing in a rush, I knock over something from the table. I mumble an apology to the guy in the spot next to me and step around him to get out of the row of seats.
And then I run. Out of the building. I don’t stop running.
I don’t know where I’m running to. I just know I need to get away from everyone.
I stop in the middle of a grassy area. There’s not as many people here, but something made me stop.
I stand still, trying to catch my breath, and then I fall to the ground and drop my head in my hands.
Focus on something good, Addison. You are safe. You are okay.
A pair of sneakers stops in front of me. A strange feeling of safety wraps around me like a blanket, something I haven’t felt for a really long time. I slowly tilt my head upwards and stare into the dark eyes of the one person I thought I could avoid.
“Addison?” Lex squats down, his glare sweeping over my face. “What’s wrong?”
That’s what he asks? Not where have I been? Why I left? No, just… what’s wrong?
A fresh wave of tears falls down my face. I shake my head. “I can’t do it,” I whisper. “I thought I could, but I can’t do it.”
Lex is quiet for a moment. “You can’t do what?”
“Come to school. Be normal. I can’t be here.” I push up from the ground, and Lex straightens. He towers over me. I’m not scared, though. Not of him. I look around. Shit, I don’t even know where I am. “Where am I?” I question aloud.
“You’re at NYU,” Lex says. “Addi, what’s happening right now? What’s wrong?”
“I need to find my dorm building.” I pull out my folded paper map. I didn’t explore the campus as much as I should have when I arrived yesterday. I had a plan: go to class and then go back to my dorm. Rinse, sleep, repeat. That’s all I was going to do, not end up in a park.
“Where’s your building?” Lex hasn’t stopped staring at me, and I’m having trouble meeting his gaze.
“Cora building,” I tell him.
He raises his brows. “Nice. I knew you’d get an amazing scholarship,” he says. “Come on, I’ll show you how to get back there.”
“What do you mean an amazing scholarship?” I ask, following after him.
“Cora building. It’s pricey as fuck. Filled with elite assholes. But it’s nice,” he says.
I chew on my bottom lip. I didn’t apply for the scholarship that I got. But again, I didn’t question it. I know it came from Lex’s family. I wonder if he knows. “Are you mocking me?”
“What?”
“We both know your parents are the reason I’m here. I didn’t ask them to help me, Lex. I swear I didn’t,” I stutter out.