Chapter 18 #3
Shit. I’m completely out of shape.
My thighs are on fire just from walking down a single flight of stairs. Muscles burning, lungs tight. Guess my body took more damage than I wanted to admit.
The second we step outside, the cold air slaps my skin. The sun is shining, though, warm fingers trailing over my face. It’s a reminder that life still exists somewhere beyond survival. I soak the sunshine in, thinking maybe I was wrong — maybe today won’t be a war zone inside my mind.
That’s when I fucking hear it.
“Adora.”
Just my name, whispered like a prayer answered in the most wonderful way.
I don’t acknowledge it. Don’t look in the direction the sound came from. I keep my face carved in stone and my eyes forward.
“Is there a bookstore around here?” I ask Ria, like I didn’t just hear my own personal curse walking behind me.
She purses her lips in thought. “Not exactly. But there’s a small shop that sells a bit of everything. Old books too, if you’re lucky.”
I nod, and force a smile. “Let’s go see.”
“Adora, please talk to me. Please. I need to know how you’re feeling.”
The Voice again. Closer this time. A wound begging to be touched.
“Keep your distance,” Ria barks over her shoulder, her eyes gleaming with murderous intent.
I almost laugh. Almost. I just keep walking, one foot in front of the other, with Ria at my side serving as a human shield.
“Griffin didn’t show up for coffee today,” I say casually. “He busy?”
I’m genuinely curious. Griffin’s energy is always comforting. He’s a joy to be around.
“He switched to day shifts at the fire station,” she says, tone light. “He’ll be back soon, don’t worry.”
“Adora,” the Voice grits out again. “What the hell is this ignoring shit? It’s childish.”
I sigh and nod once to Ria.
She whips around like a missile locked on target.
“You know what’s childish, Peek-a-Boo?” she snaps. “Following a woman around like some love-sick stalker after she made it very clear she doesn’t want to talk to you.”
She plants her hands on her hips, chin tilted in defiance. “Actually, that’s not childish. It’s creepy. Take the fucking hint. One more word out of you, and I swear we’ll scream so loud the cops won’t even need a call — they’ll just come running.”
With those final words, she spins on her heel and keeps walking. I do the same. The Voice doesn’t speak again, but I can feel him behind us, following our every step, like he can’t help himself.
Hopefully, he’ll get tired soon, and walk away. Let me breathe. Because I can’t even look at him, much less talk to him. And if I give him even an inch — one glance, one word — he’ll think there’s hope, no matter what I say.
This isn’t about punishing him or trying to hurt him. I just don’t trust myself around him anymore.
On our way back, I glance down at the book in my hands. Sense and Sensibility. A battered Jane Austen classic with pages that smell like old paper and ink.
“I wish they had a wider selection,” I murmur. “It’s a shame there’s no actual bookstore around.”
Ria halts mid-step like I just said the magic words. I stop too, blinking at her in confusion.
Her eyes light up and she turns to me, her scheming smile on full display.
“You love books, huh? So why don’t you open one?”
She leans in closer, voice turning to a hushed whisper. “You’ll have the money soon enough.”
Before I can even formulate a response, she steamrolls on, lips pressed together, trying to keep the excitement from leaking out too fast.
“And how much do you really love being a substitute teacher?” she asks, one brow arched, her head cocked to the side. “Enough to keep doing it for the rest of your life?”
I open my mouth. Close it. She sees the crack in my armor and barrels through it.
“Just think about it,” she says, shrugging one shoulder. “There are places around here that would be perfect for a little bookstore. You could make it cozy. Add a corner for tea and muffins.”
“This town is small,” I say, but my voice lacks conviction. “Who would buy books here?”
She scoffs. “This town? Maybe not many. But the one next to it? And the one after that? They’re big enough.
The only bookstore around is two towns over and it looks like a sad garage sale threw up inside it.
If people had the option, they’d buy. What else are they going to do around here in the winter? Besides drink, read, and fuck?”
She says it so matter-of-factly I almost choke on a laugh.
“I’ll think about it,” I say, trying to keep the heat from rising in my cheeks. “But I like the idea.”
Her hands clap together once as she bounces in place, all giddy. “That’s the spirit! Risk is where all the good stuff lives.”
I shake my head, grinning despite myself.
I’ve been telling myself it might be smarter to take Ghost’s money and disappear. Start over somewhere far away, with a clean slate and no shadows. But then there’s Ria.
She’s got a heart made of fire and glitter, and somehow she’s become the first real friend I’ve ever had.
And not just any friend. The kind who would march into battle for me.
The kind who doesn’t waver when I fall apart, but helps me piece the wreckage into something that looks like a possible future.
I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to run away from Ghost if it means running away from her too.
Maybe it’s pathetic, how quickly I latched on. Maybe I am starved for affection, like Ghost said, and Ria just happened to show up with open arms and muffins. But I don’t care.
I want to be her friend and I want her to keep being mine.
Ghost
Ria’s not with her this time. My eyes widen. The guard dog is gone, this is my chance to finally break that wall of indifference.
I push off the lamppost I’ve been leaning against and start moving, slow enough that she can see me coming. Startling her right now would be a very bad idea.
“Adora—”
It’s the only thing I get to say before she stops and swiftly turns around, marching straight back inside the building she just came out of.
Shit!
Raking both hands through my hair, I start pacing.
I’m slowly going insane.
Kidnapping her a second time wouldn’t be good, right? Right?! Ria would definitely involve the cops. She’d kick up a stink so big it would smother the entire club. Then I’d be back in prison, and still nowhere near Adora.
“Fuuuuck,” I groan, throwing my head back, eyes squeezed shut.
I’m running through my shrinking list of possibilities when the front door opens again. My head snaps toward it.
She’s back.
Adora stops a few feet away and, for a split second, I think she might actually look at me.
But I’m wrong. So fucking wrong.
She lifts her arm slowly, gaze fixed ahead, not even sparing me a twitch of her brow.
There’s a taser in her hand.
She gives it two sharp shakes, like my stupid eyes need to memorize the weapon and feel the sting without her even pressing the trigger.
Message received, loud and fucking clear. Keep your distance or get electrocuted straight into the next realm.
She’s been going out more and more, and each time she walks past me like I don’t exist. Like I never did. I truly feel like a fucking ghost. Unseen. Unheard. Unwanted. Unworthy.
I tried talking to her again, from a distance this time. Thought maybe she’d at least give me a glare at some point. Now she wears headphones every time she leaves the house. The noise-canceling kind. Because that’s what I am to her — fucking cancelled.
I’m losing her every day, over and over again.
I rushed the Jinx job so much that Mindfuck’s head was spinning by the end of it. He barely kept up, muttering about whiplash and how I’d finally gone completely cuckoo. He’s not wrong. I probably have.
But I had to get back fast. Even if I can’t talk to her, even if she won’t see me, I need to be near. I need to know she’s breathing.
It’s all gone to shit. Bones is fucked, too. It’s no contact between him and Temperance and I can see him slipping further into a very dark fucking place. And I can’t help him because I’m being dragged into the same place, right next to him.
Watching her is a different kind of torture. She’s been helping Ria with her shop. Probably because Ria’s been spending more time with Temperance lately.
I’m not allowed inside, of course. Ria made it official with a huge Ghostbusters sign taped to the fucking front door. The little shit even added ‘no ghosts allowed’ under it in glitter pen. Like it’s cute. Like this is a fucking joke.
I tried to ignore it. Pushed the door open and just entered the shop. I almost ended up brawling with Tank.
That sign’s still there. And I’m still here too, standing outside, watching her through the glass.
“You have no chance,” Ria says, voice casual like she’s talking about the weather.
I glance at her. She just stepped out of her cage, Tank right behind her. “Temperance okay?” I ask.
She gives me a small smile. “She will be.”
Then she looks toward the shop window.
“You’re making me sad, Phantom of the Drama.
I had so many plans for you. But you’ve been no fun at all.
Wouldn’t drink any of the coffee I offered.
Refused the muffins. And the cupcakes. The sandwiches, too.
Wouldn’t let me near your bike. Blocked me before I could hide sardines in your pockets.
Honestly? I’m disappointed.” She pouts like I ruined her birthday.
I exhale through my nose. “I’m not in the mood for games, Ria.”
She turns toward me, watching me like she’s trying to decide if I’m worth the breath she’s about to waste.
“But you were in the mood to play games with Adora,” she says quietly.
“I warned you. Over and over. Your chance is gone.”
Her tone isn’t cruel. It’s calm. Final.
“But you didn’t listen, did you?”
The words slam into me like a crowbar to the ribs.
She doesn’t stop.