Chapter 22 #2
It’s pathetic, the way I still wonder what it could’ve been like if we’d had a normal beginning. It makes me sick that he hurt me so deeply and yet I still cling to his lies. I don’t owe him anything anymore. I paid him with my life. If anything, he’s the one who owes me now.
What the hell does he still want from me?
I watch him carefully. I know him. The more I push back, the more he’ll try to fight me on this. The thought makes me angry again. He has no right!
“Why are you doing this? Why would you want to be legally tied to a whore,” I ask, throwing the word he used back in his face. It lands like a grenade.
He flinches, but he recovers quickly.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, adorable,” he says, tone soft.
Gentle. “I’ll sign the papers. I promise.
Just… not today.” A pause. “And I was full of shit that day.
Every word was a lie. The only whore between us was me.
I was so addicted to you, you could've asked me to lick the ground for just a chance to lick the soles of your feet, and I would've done it. I’m so fucking sorry for everything I said.”
My jaw tightens. No. No, that’s not good enough. His sorry is not good enough. And this delay doesn’t make sense. What kind of game is he playing now?
“Your sorry means nothing. Once you break a bone, you can’t unbreak it. It doesn’t matter if it heals, the scar is still there,” I whisper, voice raw.
His lips twitch like he wants to say something. In the end, he just swallows the words.
“What’s your plan here, Ghost?” I break the silence a few moments later, frustrated.
“The snake cult is the priority,” he says. “You can’t go back to Ria’s. Not until we deal with them.”
The calm in his voice, in every inch of his body, is unnerving.
I open my mouth to protest but I close it instantly. As much as I don’t like it, he’s right. Fuck, he’s right.
“What about Ria?” I snap.
“Tank’s on her. She’ll probably stay here, too.”
I see the shift before it even happens. The moment his eyes darken just a fraction. When he speaks again, I already know I’m not going to like what he says.
“You’ll need protection at the bookstore. Around town.” He pauses. Fuck. I know what’s coming. “It’s gonna be me.” There it is. I knew it!
No.
“No,” I bark, stepping back like the word might shield me. “No, no, no. Fuck no.” I cross my arms, trying to hold myself together. “Anyone else. I don’t care who. That biker with the dumbass name. He did fine last night. Use him.”
I feel the sudden urge to grab something again and throw it at him, but nothing escaped my meltdown.
He smiles tiredly and takes a step forward. I brace myself, but he doesn’t make another move.
“There’s an active threat against you,” he says, voice tight. Controlled. “And I don’t trust anyone else with your life. Not now. I won’t be able to think straight if I leave you in someone else’s hands. Not after those lunatics came so close.”
“I don’t care if you can think straight or not! And you said you’d take care of them!” I shoot back. “How are you going to do that if you’re playing bodyguard?”
“I have my ways,” he says and before he can continue, to my horror, a pitiful, exasperated whine escapes me.
My eyes go wide. I start pacing again.
“That didn’t just happen,” I mutter under my breath, trying to erase that stupid fucking whine from existence. I won’t show him weakness. He’s like a wild animal. He’ll focus on my every weak spot and tear through all my defenses before I even realize what’s happening.
He moves to speak. “Adora—”
“Nuh-uh,” I snap, pointing a shaky finger at him. “Shut up, Ghost. Just shut up. Let me think,” I order and resume my pacing.
To his credit, he does.
My brain spirals.
Ok, so snake-worshipping freaks are targeting me.
No biggie. Except yes, biggie, because I hate snakes.
And I can’t protect myself against a bunch of crazies.
I’m a lover, not a fighter. And my physical strength is a joke.
My aim, too. Proof that Ghost is still standing after I threw an entire room at him.
And now he’s just watching me. Quiet. Patient. Still fucking infuriating.
He’s not going to back down. This jackass won’t let anyone else guard me right now.
And I know he’s a stubborn asshole. Just like all his brothers.
There won’t be any negotiating with him.
I know him too well. He made up his mind already.
He’s just waiting for me to fall in line.
He can wait for all eternity, for all I care! I’m finding a way out of it!
Maybe… I narrow my eyes in thought. Maybe…
I could negotiate with Bones? He’s technically Ghost’s boss.
He could order him around. I groan and sigh, throwing my head back.
Who the hell am I kidding? Bones isn’t taking my side in this.
He’d probably hand me to Ghost with a bow and a reminder to play nice.
And I need the protection. Fuck. Why is my life such a trainwreck? I was doing so well. I was healing. Moving forward. Opening a business. New life. New me. And then the Universe just had to throw snakes at me.
To be fair to the Universe, though, I knew. I fucking knew some snake cult was targeting Ria, and possibly the people close to her. She told me the whole sordid story. I still chose to stay. Fuck. I did this to myself. I really am the worst at decision-making.
At least now, thanks to my therapist, I have a nice, shiny label to put on my poor decision-making skills. Apparently, I’m prone to impulsive choices on top of my shitty, defective mind. Lucky fucking me.
I clench my fists, and take a breath. Try to calm my brain down. Try to think through the spiral. And pray I can make it through the next five minutes without launching another chair at Ghost’s face.
“Don’t you have better things to do?” I bite out. “You’re high on the corporate ladder in this club. Shouldn’t you be off managing turf wars or interrogating someone in a cell instead of playing glorified babysitter?”
It’s a weak attempt. A last-ditch plea dressed up as sarcasm.
“Nothing’s more important than you.”
He says it without blinking. Like it’s fact. Like it’s true.
I almost burst out in hysterical laughter. Instead, I snort mockingly.
“Funny. Where was that heartwarming bullshit months ago?”
He just gives me a look. The kind that makes me want to punch him in the balls. But I don’t back down. Instead, I turn to him fully, arms crossed, jaw locked.
And suddenly, my mind is clear.
“You don’t control me,” I say, and the moment the words leave my mouth, I realize they’re true. This isn’t the dungeon. This isn’t the fake life he built around me. This is me. And I make the decisions now.
He frowns. “Of course I don’t control you. But you still need protection—”
“I also need to trust whoever’s protecting me,” I cut him off. “And I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you.” I pause. “I don’t even fucking know who you really are.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he growls, fire simmering behind his eyes.
“It means you wore a mask for almost a year. It means you lie as easily as you breathe. It means I wouldn’t trust you not to throw me to the snakes if you felt like I wronged you.”
He opens his mouth, but I stop him with a flick of my wrist.
“You could wake up on the wrong side of the bed, hear me say something you don’t like, and fuck me up. Again!” I cross my arms. Glare. “I’m not putting my life in your hands.”
He’s in front of me before I can blink. A shadow crashing into my space. Close. Too close. I have to tilt my head just to meet his eyes.
“I’d rather slit my own fucking throat than hurt you ever again,” he says. His voice is low, laced with darkness. And pain. So much fucking pain. “If my death would erase that day for you, I’d already be burning in hell.”
I swallow. Step back. “I don’t believe you,” I whisper. “I can’t afford to.”
Suddenly, I feel tired. So tired.
“I wish I could. The life you tried to sell me — it was everything I dreamed of. But now it’s just a nightmare I want to forget.”
Something shifts in his face. A crack in the armor. He looks away. He seems... ashamed?
“You hurt me.” It comes out small. Wrecked. I pour every last drop of pain into those three words.
When his eyes meet mine again, I see the same pain mirrored back at me. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to acknowledge it. It’s easier that way.
I take another step back. Like distance could undo what I just saw.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
It lands like a punch. His voice is raw. Torn. Worn down to nothing.
He breathes in, shaky. Tries to pull himself together. Then looks me dead in the eye.
“Hate me. Don’t believe me. Don’t trust me.
But you still need protection, Adora.” A pause.
“I hoped this wouldn’t happen. I really did.
I prayed those fuckers would stay gone. But this is where we are now.
And whether you like it or not, I will keep you safe.
” His voice drops. “I won’t see you hurt. Never fucking again.”
I look away. Something inside me shakes.
“Domino,” I hear myself whispering the name of my favorite Vulture. “I want Domino. I trust him.”
He sighs. “Domino’s good at a lot of things. The kind of protection you need is not one of them. He gets bored easily. Doesn’t pay enough attention.”
I open my mouth to curse him and his stubbornness out, but suddenly, I’m just too fucking tired.
“I’m hungry,” I mumble, and my stomach decides to rumble in agreement.
His eyes flick down, then back to mine. Something flashes through them but it’s too quick to catch it.
“Come on,” he says. “You can yell at me again after you eat.”
“You’re not cooking,” I throw at his back as he opens the door. But it lacks any heat. I need food. Fast.
“I won’t,” he mutters, already walking down the hall.