Chapter 19
THEO
They reached the summit of the mountain not long after lunch. It was windy at the top, so they didn’t linger too long, just enough to savour their accomplishment, and soak in the extraordinary views.
The descent was long and gradual, an easier walk than on the way up. They fell into a good, steady pace, and arrived back at the inn late in the afternoon, hot and sweaty, with aching legs, empty water canteens and raging thirsts.
When they finally reached the inn courtyard, they took turns at pouring deliciously cold water over their heads, shaking off the worst of it before heading into the taproom.
The barmaid raised a brow at their rumpled clothes and wet hair, but brought them two tankards of cool, bitter ale without comment which they drank in companionable silence, content and exhausted.
“That was wonderful,” George said at last. “Thank you for inviting me along”—he offered a rueful smile—“and sorry for talking about myself so much.”
“You’re welcome,” Theo said. “And don’t apologise. I was happy to listen. It’s been good to have a companion. Generally, I do these sorts of things alone.”
George’s smile deepened, his naked pleasure obvious, and Theo felt something close to pain to witness it.
George showed so much of himself. Theo was reminded of when they were boys, and George had him all upside down, torn between contempt and attraction, because when George liked someone, he had no armour, no natural shield.
Theo hadn’t known whether to think him foolish or brave.
Perhaps that was why Fletch had asked George to leave London in the middle of the season. In a way, Theo could understand it. If you were looking for a wife, it would be damned hard to concentrate on the task at hand, with George looking at you the way he was looking at Theo right now.
It wasn’t that he was indiscreet. He wasn’t careless or brazen.
He never did or said anything that couldn't be explained away. It was merely that he was… unguarded. He didn’t seem capable of donning the impenetrable mask that Theo was so adept at wearing.
When they were at school, Theo had thought this a terrible defect of George’s, but now, as he took in George’s soft, fond expression, he realised that the painful twisting inside him wasn’t distaste or scorn. It was something far harder to bear.
Terrified affection, excitement mingled with dread. Fear of others’ reactions, and perhaps, too, of his own reaction.
What would happen if Theo responded to George in kind?
Was Theo even capable of such a thing, or was he too careful, too self-conscious?
For all his talk of doing what he pleased, he could not imagine being as open in this way as George was.
Immediately, his mind went to all the possible external threats—being seen, being overheard, being speculated about.
The very idea of discovery made his heart race and his palms sweat.
“Is something wrong?” Frowning, George reached across the table, his warm fingers lightly grazing Theo’s bare forearm, and the edge of his rolled-up shirt sleeve. Automatically, Theo reared back, making George’s eyes widen.
Mortified by his overreaction, Theo felt heat flood his face.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I was…” He tried to think of a way to end the sentence but couldn’t.
Instead he lifted his tankard and drained the contents, before lifting his chin to catch the barmaid’s eye, gesturing for two more ales to be brought.
When he finally glanced back at George, George was eyeing him warily. “Is something worrying you?” he asked. “You seem preoccupied.”
Theo fumbled for an excuse. “I suppose I’m nervous about taking you to Blackfriars.” That excuse had the benefit at least of not being a complete lie.
“Why?” George asked, frowning.
“You’re probably not going to be very impressed with what you see,” Theo said truthfully. “You might even be rather horrified. I’ve only been once before, and on that occasion, I noticed there were a hundred and one repairs needing done. Unfortunately, I don’t have the money to deal with them.”
“Did you make a list?”
Embarrassed, Theo shook his head. “I should have done so, but the truth is, I felt rather overwhelmed at the time.”
“Overwhelmed by what?” George asked, his gaze curious. “The size of the task?”
“Partly,” Theo said. “And partly the expectation on me.” When George frowned in puzzlement, Theo sighed, wishing he hadn’t started this.
“You remember me saying that my grandmother left me some money?” When George nodded, he said, “My uncle knew about that bequest, and that I was a younger son who would inherit no land. It’s why he decided to leave Blackfriars to me.
He left a letter for me saying as much and urging me to invest some of my inheritance in the estate.
” He swallowed. “By the time I read the letter, that money was already gone.”
“Ah,” George said, understanding dawning. “So, what do you plan to do now?”
“Sell up,” Theo said, “I’m not sure what I’d get for it, to be honest, but even if it’s only enough to fund another trip to the Continent, I’ll be content." He shrugged. “I understand you can live quite cheaply in Italy.”
George didn’t comment on that. “Did you review the accounts the first time you visited?”
Theo felt his neck heat. “I asked to,” he said, “but I wasn’t really sure what to make of what Norris showed me, though they looked neatly kept and were up to date.”
“Norris?”
“He deals with the tenants and ledgers, that sort of thing.”
“Ah—your steward?”
Theo shook his head. “No, he only deals with collecting rents. He works for a few landowners in the area so he doesn’t have much time for anything else—which is fine since I can't afford to pay him any more than I do.” He shrugged.
“It’s not ideal, but it’s a damned sight cheaper than the alternative, and he does, at least, keep the rents coming in.
And really, my two tenants take care of all the land management. ”
Just then, the barmaid arrived at their table.
She set down fresh tankards and scooped up the empty ones, pocketing the coin George offered her.
“Thank you kindly, sir,” she murmured, her low voice thrumming with flirtatious promise.
As she swayed away, she cast him an inviting look over her shoulder, and George grinned back, seeming well pleased.
Theo hoped the flash of irritation that flared in him wasn’t obvious. Forcing himself to smile, he said lightly, “Enjoying yourself, George? I didn’t think flirting with females was your sort of thing.”
George’s head swung towards him, his expression chagrined.
Endearingly, the tips of his ears had pinkened.
“I didn’t mean to flirt. I was just enjoying her calling me sir instead of my lord.
It can be very tedious, being my-lordshipped all day long.
” Leaning closer, he added confidingly, “It’s been very refreshing to be a plain mister on this trip. ”
Theo laughed at that. “Well, it must be said, no one would guess you’re a duke-in-waiting. You look quite disreputable just now.”
George waggled his eyebrows. “I could be a highwayman,” he said teasingly.
“Or perhaps a Bow Street Runner.” He broke off then.
“Actually, joking aside, if you really do want my thoughts on what needs to be done at Blackfriars, it would probably be easier if you introduced me as Mr. Asquith instead of Lord Sherrington.”
“Why would that be easier?”
George shrugged. “People are more forthcoming with me when they don’t know who I am. It’ll be easier when I’m examining the ledgers and looking around your tenants’ farms.”
Theo sighed. “You may be right.”
“I am right,” George replied. “So let’s do that. I’ll continue enjoying my anonymity, and you’ll get the benefit of my being able to properly ascertain the condition of your estate in a circumspect manner.”
Theo shrugged and smiled. “Very well. If that’s what you’d prefer.
” Despite his easy demeanour, though, he felt nervous about what was to come.
Tomorrow, George was going to see his house in all its dilapidated glory.
It was a thought that hadn’t bothered Theo one bit when he’d first invited George to join him on this trip, so why, a week later, did it strike him as embarrassing?
George was oblivious to his disquiet. “This will be fun,” he said leaning back in his chair, his eyes warm as he lifted his tankard to his mouth and drank.
Which meant that all Theo could do was shove his worries firmly to the back of his mind and say teasingly, “Now, now, Mr. Asquith. Remember, you’ll be there to work.”
George’s amused chuckle made his chest tighten all over again.