Chapter 12 #2
My spine straightens with indignation. Opening the door, I will my posture to loosen as I claw back the apathy that fled the second I saw the contract.
“Even if that wasn’t the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard, and I trusted you enough to do any of those things together, you can’t control a basic bodily function to that degree. ”
Galileo looks me straight in the eye, offers me the tiniest twitch of his lip, and raises a brow. “Try me. There’s nothing I won’t do to make this right. Nothing.”
He drops one hand to his grimoire, and the contract floats through the air between us to land on top of the pile in my hands.
“It’s not happening.”
There’s a new note on top of it, longer than the one he wrote before, where he promised not to get in the way of my relationships with the others. I should rip it up in front of him, but my own morbid curiosity won’t let me. I might as well torture myself with whatever twaddle he’s come up with.
He nods, unperturbed. “I expected as much, but I saw how sad you were when I refused to sign it before. It’s not the only way I plan to earn your forgiveness, either.”
It…isn’t?
“I’m going to rectify every single time I hurt you.
I made a list. First and foremost, I’m going to get the Arcanaeum back for you.
If you want to banish me from it afterwards, I’ll never set foot inside again.
My grandfather is pressuring the university to let me take the magister exams next week, too.
As parriarch, I’ll ensure that the Library always has ó Rinn’s support, even long after I’m gone.
I’ll keep you safe, even if you never want to see me again. It’s the least I can do.”
I should leave. Instead, I’m frozen as he rattles off a list of impossible dreams.
There’s so much earnestness in his expression that it hurts. He honestly believes that doing those things will repair what he broke. I’d love to think it might. Unfortunately, I’m old enough and wise enough to know that no one is easier to deceive than a woman who desperately wants to be loved.
What happens when the other ensorcellments aren’t dealt with in a month or two?
How much pressure is the rest of his family putting him under to get these done?
And how would I even know if he was asking Mathias for help behind my back until it was too late?
Last time, I only found out because Pierce caught him.
“I need time,” I hedge.
“You have it,” he promises. “Set whatever boundaries you need to. Anything I have to give is yours. Take the breath from my lungs and the last beats of my heart if you want them. You already own both.”
Stars above, my mouth is dry. I fist one hand in my skirt to stop the tremor running through my frame. The poetry falling from those deceitful lips is unfair. This is ridiculous. He’s ridiculous.
It’s a relief when Lambert peels my fingers away from the doorknob.
“I thought I told you to leave her alone.” He delivers the reprimand mildly, then tugs me the last few inches out of the room, plastering me against his chest in a move that screams possessiveness. “So stop harassing her.”
Without me holding it open, the door falls closed.
The slam reverberates down the hallway, and I suck in a breath as I fight to regain my composure.
I really miss being able to ghost whenever I need to think without all of these emotions playing havoc in my body.
Right now, drifting around the Rotunda sounds like the most peaceful thing in the world.
Instead, my paper-thin heart is keening, unaware that taking what Leo offers puts it at risk of being torn to shreds all over again.
With a shudder, I force my attention back to Lambert. “I’m more than capable of dealing with him.”
He doesn’t say anything, simply scoops me up into his arms and buries his face in my hair.
“I can walk.”
“I know, but I need this, boss.” He presses a final kiss to my temple. “The girl I’m in love with keeps almost dying. I think I’m allowed to be a little clingy.”
My body melts, offering the comfort I couldn’t give him at the dinner table with wordless ease.
I half expect him to bring up his aunt, or what her death means for him, but he doesn’t.
He huffs under his breath. “Leo is being sneaky, huh?”
“Do you think he’s serious?” I ask as he uses his elbow to shove open the door to his own bedroom, just next door.
He shrugs, completely unbothered by Jasper, who’s sprawled on his bed, waiting. “Yeah, I kind of do.”
My jaw drops as he places me on the mattress beside the other man. “What?”
Lambert sits on my free side, smiling when I rest my head on his shoulder. Sitting between the two of them is so right, like being crushed on both sides by warmth and ease.
“Well, maybe I’m just being dumb, but the ensorcellment is gone now, right?”
“Yes.” I clear my throat, trying to force the image of a freshly showered Leo from my brain. “It’s gone.”
I do my best to school my expression, but from the way Jasper’s brows have risen, I haven’t entirely managed it.
“And he agreed to your request for time,” Lambert continues. “And he let me hit him, which helped.”
I lean back, fixing him with a frown. “That is not—”
“You could try it. It’s very therapeutic. But my point is, it’s okay to be furious with him, but holding onto that anger forever isn’t healthy. All we can do is give him opportunities and wait and see if he steps up. I mean…I don’t want to hate my only sibling for the rest of my life.”
“You’re telling me you’ve forgiven him because his ensorcellment is gone, he’s your brother, and you punched him?”
“Sounds like it.” Jasper rolls his eyes.
Lambert makes a face. “I’m just not great with grudges?
” He says it like a question. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ll wait until he really has…
what was it? Given up the last beats of his heart?
” He raises a hand with a dramatic flourish worthy of a stage actor as he quotes his brother, then drops it and snorts.
“Look, I’m not going to be the idiot who tries to tell you how you should feel about him. If you never want to speak to him again, I support that. If you do still want him, and he keeps fucking up, I’ll be the first to hold him still so you can beat him with your books.”
I sigh, looking over them both.
They’re both open, kind, and supportive. With men like this, why did I have to fall for Leo, too? I thought my feelings for Edmund sprang out of a combination of na?veté and hero worship, but maybe I just have exceptionally poor judgement.
“Perhaps I simply have terrible taste in men,” I muse aloud.
“Never, lass.” Jasper cups my face, chocolate eyes swimming with sincerity. “You just have a big heart, and not everyone is smart enough to handle it carefully.”
“Hmpf.” A big heart. That’s a new one.
“Just because you guard it well, doesnae mean it isn’t true,” he adds.
My mind flashes back to our date. He told me he loved me then, and the emotion is still shining in his eyes—in both of their eyes, now that I’m looking for it. I held back on expressing my own feelings out of duty, but I just told Leo I loved him. That doesn’t seem fair.
“I love you,” I murmur guiltily. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it back. I was so afraid of what it would mean. The future is so uncertain, but my feelings for you, both of you, are immutable. I shouldn’t have clung to my impartiality as hard as I did. You deserved better.”
“It’s okay.” Jasper’s thumb strokes my cheek. “I told you to take all the time you needed, and I meant it. We can figure everything out.”
“I love every part of you, boss, including how much you care about the Arcanaeum,” Lambert swears. “I would never push you to do anything that would harm it.”
My eyes mist, and my heart swells. “In the end, being impartial didn’t save the Library.”
“Not this time, but it has before,” Jasper says, as he’s forced to let go so Lambert can drag me back into a crushing hug. “It’s the only place in our world that’s truly neutral territory. That’s worth defending.”
“If impartiality is so important, you’ll just have to fall in love with the others as well,” Lambert suggests, shrugging like it’s that simple.
I scoff, then shake my head. “I suppose everyone except North did tick the romantic relationship box. I should’ve predicted this would be a natural result of the contract.”
“North might surprise you,” Lambert adds. “And I know Leo is obviously out of the running right now, but if he’s going to do all of that stuff and get the Arcanaeum back…I say let him try.”
“I’m going to get the Arcanaeum back.”
Lambert kisses me. “Then let him help you. The more the merrier, right? But first, don’t you want to read what he wrote? And then, maybe we could torment him a little?”
His lips fall to my shoulder, caressing up my neck, sucking, leaving no doubt about what he means by torment. They planned this, I realise, as Jasper takes my hand in his and brushes it against his mouth questioningly.
“The castle walls are thick,” Lambert adds. “But I bet we can make you scream loud enough that he hears.”
It’s a petty, silly kind of revenge, but I’m not opposed, especially when he moves his mouth a little lower.
“If the aim is torturing him…” Jasper grins, releasing me and crossing the room to where an Aubusson style tapestry covers the wall. “Then you should ken about this.”
He lifts back the heavy fabric to reveal a door. Given that Leo’s room is right beside this one, it’s not hard to guess where it goes.
“You’ve spent too much time with North.” Lambert grins like that’s a good thing. “Hang on, boss.”
His massive hands span my thighs, lifting me so my legs hook around his waist, then he crosses the room in three strides and presses me against the thick, weaved fabric.
Directly over the door to Leo’s room.