Chapter 15
Saylor
I’d never felt so lost in my entire life.
My heart ached for Mal, but every time I reached out to him, he pulled away. I didn’t know what to do, how to comfort him. I didn’t even know he needed a meeting, whatever that was.
We sat in the SUV in front of a church for over an hour after Mal went inside.
Naomi was nice enough, asking if I needed anything, but when I shook my head, she ducked her head back into her cell and that was that.
I pulled my phone out in sheer boredom, and after I powered it on, it pinged again and again with alerts.
“Looks like the news is out,” Naomi murmured from the front seat.
Considering our greeting at the airport, it would make sense that people knew about Mal’s friend’s death.
But as I read my text messages, I realized that wasn’t what she meant.
Paige: Call me
Paige: Why are you on the front page of the Babbler?
Paige: Did you seriously marry a rock star and NOT INVITE ME?!
Paige: CALL ME!!!
I didn’t know what to say to her yet, so I couldn’t call her. I opened another text thread.
Mom: Trent says he’s willing to go to counseling.
Mom: Ignoring me won’t make it go away.
Mom: You’re being so immature, Saylor. I raised you better than this.
And yet not a single text from Trent himself. Clearly someone was deluded, and it wasn’t me.
And then the weird texts started coming in.
Ping!
Angela: You married Malcolm Holt! OMG! Call me
Ping!
Emma: You canceled your wedding to Trent to marry a rock star? How on earth did that happen?
Ping! Ping!
Olivia: Congrats on your wedding!
Olivia: Can you introduce me to Leif Eccles?
People I hadn’t talked to since college or high school suddenly started blowing up my phone.
Ping! Ping! Ping!
“Oh my god,” I murmured.
“Yeah, you might want to power it off,” Naomi muttered from the front seat. “Actually, hand it here.” She held her hand out to me.
Just give her my phone? “Um, why?”
“We should lock down your social media accounts before the news goes mainstream.” She wiggled her fingers in a gimmie motion.
“Okay.” I shrugged and passed my phone to her.
“The trolls will be ruthless once they find you, given the timing with Gio’s death and all. And you don’t look like a girl who could hold her own with them. Better to lock them out.”
That sounded like an insult, but I was too jet lagged to piece together a proper retort. Plus, I didn’t know if she was snarky by nature or gonna be an issue—aka jealous about me and Mal. They seemed to have more of a sibling relationship, but it was too soon to tell really. And I was so, so tired.
I sighed and rubbed my temple. “Do you know how much longer he’s going to be? I’d kill for a coffee right about now.”
“There’s a Krispy Kreme a few blocks away. Will that do?”
I shrugged. “Donuts and coffee sound awesome.”
She tapped the driver on the shoulder. “Let’s hit the drive-thru. We’ll be there and back before Mal even gets to the serenity prayer.”
As we bounced through the LA toward donuts, I sighed and asked, “So how often does Mal go to these meetings?”
Silence met my question.
I saw the driver—whoever he was—dart a glance at me in the rear-view mirror.
After a long moment, Naomi cleared her throat. “That, uh, sounds like a question you should ask Mal. I don’t talk about my boss with anyone.”
I sat back, stunned at the subtle clapback.
So we weren’t going to be besties then.
“I want my phone back now.” It killed me, but I purposely left the please off my request.
“Just a second.” She tapped at the screen some more. Then she passed it back to me. “Here you go. I’ve turned off commenting on all your profiles. You might want to go back and delete some of those engagement photos, though. If we’re lucky, they’re not all over the Babbler yet.”
“I’ve got nothing to hide.”
“You say that now…” She gave a world-weary sigh.
Yeah, definitely not gonna be friends.
I sat back in my seat and thumbed through my photos while we waited in the drive-thru. It wasn’t like I’d posted a picture in my wedding dress. I think it was still hanging up in my old closet. I hadn’t wanted to pack it when I moved out. I didn’t want to touch it.
God, that felt like a lifetime ago.
“Let’s get a dozen assorted,” Naomi said from the front seat, snapping me back to reality. “Is that okay with you, Taylor?”
“It’s Saylor, with an ess.” Like she didn’t know since she was just looking at all my social media accounts and had booked my flight here. “As long as there’s a chocolate iced, I’m good with whatever. And a vanilla latte with soy.”
Again I left off the please. I was irritated over that Taylor comment.
Accepting my latte with a fake smile, I sat back with my drink in one hand and a donut in the other and counted the minutes until I could see Mal again.
I ached to call Paige and talk through all this insanity with her, but no way in hell was I doing that with this audience. Naomi might protect Mal’s secrets, but no guarantees about mine.
I’d gotten to the bottom of my latte by the time Mal came around the side of the church.
His face was still thunderous, and I sighed.
Apparently the meeting hadn’t helped. My heart ached.
I really hoped he wasn’t blaming himself.
He’d told me days ago Gio was avoiding his calls.
Clearly there were problems there, and Mal shouldn’t take it all on himself.
He ducked inside the backseat with me and slammed the door shut. Naomi passed him a coffee I didn’t even realize she’d ordered for him.
“Where to now?” She offered the box of donuts to him.
He waved off the donuts but sipped the coffee. “Let’s head to the medical examiner’s office. They should be open by the time we get through the morning traffic.”
Naomi nodded at the driver, and we pulled out of the parking lot.
Mal stared out the window, his brows pulled together in thought.
I didn’t know what to say.
“The pictures from the airport are already up on the Babbler,” Naomi drawled. “Do you want me to put together a post for your socials? Something about Gio and your marriage?”
Mal closed his eyes and sighed. “Let’s put together a post about Gio. Find a good picture of the two of us—preferably something from when we were kids. But don’t post it until I vet the caption.”
Naomi nodded, her thumbs flying across her cell phone screen. “And your marriage? That’s the current headline on the Babbler.”
“I don’t give a fuck what the Babbler says.”
I gasped. It was totally involuntary, and I knew he was going through a lot at the moment, but it still hurt to be so summarily dismissed.
I could feel Naomi’s eyes on me, and Mal gave one of those weary sighs.
“It’s not about you, Saylor,” Mal muttered. “Hopefully, if we don’t pay it any attention, the news will die off, and those fuckers will go stalk someone else.”
“Not likely to happen if they frame it that she left her fiancé for you,” Naomi muttered.
“Yeah well, I didn’t ask for your opinion, so I’d appreciate it if you shut your trap.” Mal scowled as he tugged on his beanie. “How long ‘til we get there?”
“Fourteen minutes, sir,” the previously quiet driver answered.
“Thanks,” Mal grumbled. “Do you have my sunglasses, Nay?”
Naomi opened the center console and passed a pair of sunglasses back to Mal.
He slid them on then slumped in his seat. “Wake me when we get there.”
I sighed and stared out my window.
And that was how the entire day went. Mal ran errand after errand to sort out the red tape of his best friend’s death. Despite offering more than once, Mal didn’t want me to help him with any of the appointments. I didn’t get out of the car.
But Naomi did.
And she gave me a haughty little smile every time.
It hurt.
And I hated that I was making the most painful moment of Mal’s life about me, but he was shutting me out. What was the point of having a spouse if you weren’t going to lean on them in hard times?
He had no problem offering to be my rock when he’d convinced me to marry him. He said all those pretty words about loving each other and helping me with my career, but he clearly wasn’t going to let me do the same for him.
What was I even doing here?
When we got to his lawyer’s office, I didn’t wait for him to order me to stay in the car.
I opened my door and hopped out, stretching my arms over my head with a groan. Tipping my head back, I tried to absorb a little vitamin D.
“What are you doing, Saylor? This’ll be a quick meeting, and then we’ll go home.”
Like I knew that. He hadn’t given me a hint about where we were going or what we were doing. “I assume they have a restroom? I’d like to pee.”
Naomi muffled her laugh behind her hand.
I was so over her mean girl shit.
“Fine, come on then.” Mal huffed like it was an annoying request, and unlike earlier, he didn’t hold my hand as we walked toward the large building.
I tried not to let it bother me.
When we entered, we were immediately greeted by the slender and businesslike receptionist. “Mister Holt, welcome. Elizabeth is waiting for you in her office. Right this way.”
“I know the way. Do you mind showing my wife to the restroom? She’d like to freshen up.”
She was businesslike until she heard the word ‘wife.’ She swung her head to me, and it looked like she’d been slapped. Rubbing her bright red lips together, she nodded. “Of course.” Her voice was hoarse. “Right this way, Missus Holt.”
Mal didn’t even spare me a glance. He just turned and walked down the hall on the left with Naomi trailing behind.
I followed the receptionist the other way and ducked into the room she waved me toward.
I avoided my reflection in the mirror and took care of my business, but as I was washing my hands, I couldn’t miss the pain I glimpsed in my eyes.
Swallowing hard, I took a minute and tried to calm my nerves. This was just so hard. He had all these people around him who knew him better than I did. And he wasn’t letting me in. I didn’t know what to do.
I still ached to call Paige, but this wasn’t the time. Or the place. This bathroom was seriously echo-y.
I touched up my makeup then gave myself a brave smile that I definitely wasn’t feeling before I exited.
When I got back to the reception area, I stopped in front of her desk. “Can you show me to Elizabeth’s office?”
“I’m afraid Ms. Chen made it clear she’s not to be disturbed.” She smiled wolfishly at me. “But you’re welcome to take a seat and wait here.” She gestured to the metal chairs lining the waiting area like it was a cozy spa.
Wait here under the watchful eye of Mal’s fangirl, or in the luxury SUV with what’s-his-name? Honestly, they both sounded like shit options.
But I was tired and these chairs were closer, so I collapsed into the nearest one then gave the receptionist a toothy smile. “Thank you.”
She rolled her eyes and tapped her keyboard behind her tall desk.
This was officially the longest day of my life. The whole horrible emotion of the day was making my head pound behind my eyes. But I couldn’t hide in my phone since everyone I ever knew was currently calling or texting me.
So I grabbed a nearby magazine and pretended interest in the Asian market.
“Is that her?” I heard someone whisper loudly from the other side of the room.
“Yeah, can you believe it?” a familiar voice replied. “Malcolm Holt finally married someone, and he robs the cradle to do it. She’s gotta be young enough to be his daughter.”
“I wouldn’t mind calling him daddy.”
Hushed giggles rang out from the other side of the room.
It took everything inside me not to stomp over there and tell them that I actually did call him daddy, and he loved it every freaking time.
Instead, I just sighed and turned the page.
“We’ll contact his lawyer and get working on the probate right away.”
“Thanks again, Elizabeth,” Mal replied. “Saylor, you’re still here.”
I dropped the magazine and shook my head. “Yes, Mal. I’m still here. I wasn’t allowed to join your meeting.”
All eyes swung my way and the Asian woman next to Mal frowned. “Mal, who’s this?”
“His wife,” the receptionist piped up with a barely visible snarl.
“You got married, Mal?” His lawyer sent him a concerned look. “When? Where?”
Mal sighed and rubbed his face with a hand. “Two days ago, I think? In Fiji.”
“I’m going to assume that means there was no prenup.” Elizabeth frowned.
“Of course there wasn’t a prenup.” Naomi laughed.
“Nay,” Mal bit out. “Go wait in the car.”
Naomi swung an accusing glare my way before stomping out of the building.
“Maybe we should go back to my office and talk about this…situation.” Elizabeth waved a vague hand to encompass me and Mal.
Mal shook his head. “There’s nothing to discuss. We’re married. Gio’s dead. I’ve got shit to do.”
“At the very least, we need a copy of the marriage license. A certified, legally filed copy of your marriage license. I assume all the proper paperwork was carried out?”
My heart froze at her statement. Were we really married? I know I signed something, but was it actually filed with the authorities? And legal?
“I’ll get you a copy. The resort was going to take care of that for us, but if you could call them and follow up for me, that’d be awesome. One less thing for me to think about.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Of course. I’ll call your assistant for the details. Congrats on your marriage and our condolences on your loss.” She turned to me. “It was nice to meet you. Hopefully next time will be under better circumstances.”
“Thank you.” I smiled at Elizabeth, honestly appreciative of her kindness and professional approach. It was a welcome difference today.
And wasn’t that sad?
Mal walked over to my chair and gently tugged me up from my seat. “Come on, baby. Let’s go home.”
There was an audible sigh from the women at the reception desk.
I smiled up at Mal and let him lead me from the building.
And I tried to take comfort in the fact that he didn’t drop my hand the second we were alone.
I just had to keep showing up.
Eventually he’d let me in.
Right?