Chapter 35
Paige
A fter lifting me over his shoulder, Seth only heads north long enough to clear the camp and tuck me into a small alcove. I don’t fight him when he takes my breast into his mouth and sucks hard, causing me to hiss in pain.
Seth pulls away as he removes my bikini bottom and slides two fingers into me. Our breaths were heavy, like wild animals ready to pounce at each other.
I reach down, freeing his cock as he lifts me against the rock wall before sliding into me swiftly. I can’t help but smile, my nails digging into his shoulder, and the pleasure and pain of the moment sends him over the edge, with me following right behind. Pants fill the space as he kisses me possessively against the rock. Kissing my exposed flesh everywhere he can reach.
I want to be lost in this feeling forever, but when I open my eyes, I don’t feel like I should see Seth’s face, and I try my hardest not to show disappointment on mine. A pang of guilt hits me right in the chest knowing Seth isn’t the one I have fallen in love with.
I kiss him deeply before he pulls out of me and helps me to my feet, pulling off his shirt and offering it to me. I don’t hesitate to put it on, but suddenly, I feel way too exposed. He smiles before helping me with my bikini bottoms and walking back to camp, smiling hand in hand.
Katherine notices us first when we get back to the campsite. I don’t bother hiding the post-sex glow, considering I am pretty sure they could hear us moaning from here. When I look at Bre, she is mortified, and Chris can’t stop laughing. I am almost positive they did.
I can feel the blush on my cheeks, so I immediately look for my bikini top and cut-off shorts before heading to the boat for my hoodie. Seth doesn’t notice as he heads towards the campsite, where everyone except Graham sits.
It isn’t until I am on the boat that I notice Graham sitting in the captain’s chair, hat covering his face, and a few empty beer cans beside him. I try to be quiet but end up slipping and tumbling face-first into the boat. I can’t help but laugh, not surprised by my clumsiness when Graham is suddenly standing next to me. I hear him laughing before I feel his hands on my face.
“Baby, you’re bleeding.”
Graham takes Seth’s shirt and immediately pulls it up to my lip. Tears are streaming down my face because I can’t stop laughing. Graham pulls the shirt away, wiping the blood from my lip, and sighs in relief.
I have to ignore the ache in my chest at the worry in his eyes, and I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear him call me baby.
“It looks like you busted that bottom lip. You might need a few stitches. I’ll have to clean it to know for sure.”
I nod, trying not to linger on the way Graham is looking at me.
“Is she okay?”
I can hear Chris yell, and I have no doubt Seth is right beside him.
“She is going to need stitches. Give me fifteen minutes.”
I can’t see Chris from where I sit on the boat floor, but I know if Seth is with him, he will be a total alpha mess.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, lifting me into his arms after ensuring I keep the pressure on my face with Seth’s now bloody shirt. I can’t help but watch how gracefully he moves as he pulls out a tactical box filled with medical supplies. I barely feel any pain when he finally can irrigate the small cut and put in three stitches.
With how much a pimple hurts along my lip line, I assume I will cry as the needle pierces my skin repeatedly, but there is a gentleness I don’t expect. For how massive of a man Graham is, he is the complete opposite in so many ways. It is another reason he is slowly becoming one of my favorite people.
“Why were you over here by yourself in the boat?” I ask when he finally finishes the last stitch.
He freezes in place and exhales slowly.
“Because I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to wake up next to you again.”
He locks eyes with me, and I can’t bring myself to keep looking at him but feel the tears building behind my eyes. The reality of what we both have been feeling is exposed and raw.
Graham steps away as Seth approaches the boat, breaking the thick tension. I didn’t realize how heavy the air has become between us until Seth pulls my attention away. I find myself missing Graham instantly as Seth lifts me over the side of the boat to him. I don’t take my eyes off Graham, and finally, I mouth thank you as Seth carries me back towards the campsite.
“Paige, are you okay?”
Seth asks softly as I finally turn to him and smile before wincing in pain. Nodding yes, he kisses my cheek softly. I cuddle into him, wishing I had my hoodie on before all this happened.
Seth puts me in one of the chairs, and Graham drops my bag next to me before sitting next to Katherine. Bre is in my face before I can process it, and I feel suffocated.
“I’m fine. It’s just a busted lip. No big deal.”
The pain is in every word. My jaw hurts, and my lip must look horrible because it is swollen.
“You’re going to have a scar,” Bre says pitifully like this has made my face unbearable.
I sigh, annoyed.
“No, it won’t. A surgeon did my stitches.”
My eyes dart to Graham, who doesn’t even hide his smile.
“Besides, if there is a scar, I don’t care. That’s life. Not all wounds are internal.”
I don’t know why I am feeling so smothered by her. I just need space to process the last hour of the day. I went from surprise sex to extreme facial pain very quickly.
“Bre?” Chris says softly. “I have a surprise for you. Can we take a walk?”
It takes Bre a moment to focus entirely on Chris. The way he is with her is always so gentle, and being aware of every bit of her soul is always a priority for Chris. I honestly have never seen a connection like it. Two people just made to complement each other.
For so long, Bre has searched for someone to include in her life and not define it. Someone who wants to grow with her and be successful in their own way. I know he can provide her with that.
Now is the perfect time to clean up and change into warmer clothes. I excuse myself with my bag and head to the tent. I open the pack of wet wipes I brought and wipe down every inch of my body before dressing in a pair of thicker workout pants, a clean shirt, and my hoodie. After cleaning up my mess, I put my hat in my bag and throw everything in one of the grocery bags I brought with me.
I take the time to feel how much my lip has swollen and take a few more ibuprofen from my bag. I need to ice it. Like Graham is reading my mind, he hands me ice and a cold beer when I finally come and sit back down. I smile slightly, putting the ice on my lip.
We have a roaring fire an hour later, but Chris and Bre haven’t returned. Judging by how dark it is now and only one of the two tents we brought is up is occupied, I think they are camping elsewhere tonight. I try not to worry about the idea of something happening, and Graham can sense what’s wrong.
Seth and Katherine have been oddly inseparable for the last thirty minutes. They play cards a little further down the beach while we sit listening to Graham’s Bluetooth speaker playlist.
“There is a spot just north of us about ten minutes further than you guys went out earlier. Chris set up a romantic campsite for them. Don’t worry. I promise they are safe.”
I let out a sigh of relief and shake my head. “How did you know I needed to hear that?” I look down at my drink, and guilt fills my chest for some reason.
His jaw clenches, and he lifts his beer to his lips before emptying what is left. He pulls out his whiskey bottle from the bottom when he opens the cooler. I laugh and mutter, “Always whiskey.”
He looks at me and smiles.
“What about my whiskey?”
“Your drink of choice.”
Eyeing the bottle that he now has pressed against his lips, a tiny bit dribbles down his chin and his exposed chest. My core tightens, and I have to fight a moan from escaping my lips at the idea of slowly licking up the whiskey trail.
I clear my throat and adjust in the chair. Graham offers me the bottle, and without hesitation, I take a large swig that burns my lip, causing me to hiss slightly. Graham chuckles and takes the bottle from my outstretched hand.
“I was going to offer you a morphine pill I had in the boat, but I think we will hold off on that for now.”
His smile is warm, and it feels as if everything else has disappeared from around us. I can’t help it when my eyes linger on his lips more than I usually allow myself.
There is this growing need I have been fighting inside to take that next step with Graham.
“Not really into drugs except the occasional joint. Don’t tell Bre because she would freak out, but sometimes, after one of my rougher shifts, I need it to sleep. High school was a completely different story.”
Graham studies me a moment before smiling down towards his lap. I can hear laughter from down by the water.
“Did you do any sports?”
I linger on him again.
“Yes, I was on the dance team and ran track. I enjoyed more of the long-distance running. Most likely a trauma response.”
I shrug before asking.
“Can I see your phone?”
He doesn’t hesitate to hand it to me, and I pause when I see his lock screen. It is a picture taken at Clint’s of us from the last family dinner. It is almost candid.
“You changed your lock screen?” I say, not hiding my surprise.
“I update it occasionally, yes,” he says slightly insulted.
I can’t help the flirty laugh I respond with, and he notices the change in my tone.
“Why this picture?”
I grin, and Graham glares at me.
“Baby, you know exactly why that picture.”
“Who took it?”
I study the picture, noticing how I am looking at Graham.
“Chris.”
Once again, the air between us becomes thick. I focus on his phone, head to the camera, and turn it to face us.
“Smile, we can add to your collection.”
I pull him towards me slightly with a smile before taking a few pictures. His arm comes to rest on the back of my chair. Both of us seem to linger in the closeness, and I look up towards him, wanting to close any distance as I feel his hand touch my face.
I lean into it for a moment, letting my eyes fall to his lips forgetting everything. Both of us seem to be breathing heavily.
I clear my throat, pulling away from him and focusing on going through the pictures we just took. Deciding which is my favorite before assigning it my contact photo as his fingers begin to play with the ends of my braids.
I decided I want to dance with him and open his phone to the playlist he has had on shuffle most of the day. I see my favorite tragic country love song. As the notes of the opening piano keys of Garth Brooks’ “The Dance” play from the speakers, I hand him back his phone, and he smiles, looking down at it.
“Is that an invitation?” he says as he stands, pulling me into his arms and swaying us slowly with the song.
We can hear more splashing and see Katherine and Seth playing like drunk idiots in the water. They are entirely unaware of anything but the moment they are in. Graham pulls me closer as if realizing the same thing and softly sings the words off-key. I absorbed every second of this feeling.
Every moment we spend together is starting to become a painful reminder of what I really want in a relationship. Still, something about this moment feels different from all the other times we dance, the late-night phone calls, and stolen glances.
I can feel it sitting in my chest—the feelings I keep trying to ignore as I glance towards his face, his ocean-blue eyes drowning me. Not caring who sees, Graham leans down to brush his lips to mine softly before I let my head rest on his chest.
Graham holds me so close, humming the last few notes of the song, and I can feel every bit of it in my soul.
He stills when the next song, “ Dandelions,” begins, and he painfully hums as I feel him tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear and place another slightly firmer kiss on my head. Then I swear I can hear him singing again.
I lift my head, and as our eyes meet, it’s all there. The truth of the words pouring out of him right now. I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the response my body has to it. My heart is being ripped out of my chest, and tears begin to roll down my cheeks. He knows every damn word to the song, and I think he knows the words because of me.
I feel a full-blown panic attack begin as he looks at me with more emotion than any man in my life. I have to pull away when he leans in and tries to kiss me again.
“I’m sorry, Paige.”
He apologized immediately, not taking his eyes off me. I can’t hold back the words.
“What are we doing here, Graham? We are both with other people. I don’t think this should happen.”
I gesture between us, and my heart completely shatters and I have never regretted anything more than those words in my whole life. He can see it. I know he can.
“Why?”
The pain in his trembling voice is something I caused, and it’s almost unbearable.
“I want you, Paige. So, fucking bad. You can’t tell me this means nothing, please.”
He took a small step towards me, and I stand my ground.
“You’re engaged! Graham. Neither one of you acts like it, but you are,” I snap as the song ends, and silence fills the void now growing between us.
He flinches, and I see his nostrils flare. The speaker roars to life again as Savage Garden’s “Truly, madly, deeply” plays next in the shuffle. Neither of us move, and I don’t think he is going to respond.
Fucking Perfect.
I don’t even bother hiding the tears, wiping my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. I look back at Graham, his eyes like a roaring ocean of emotion. It makes me feel like the world is crumbling around me, and I just can’t take it.
“Fuck this,” I say, walking over to the tent.
“Paige,” Graham finally says.
“Don’t turn around,” I mutter to myself as I hear him curse and reach for the whiskey bottle.
When I get inside the tent, I see an inflatable mattress set up for each couple. I noticed my bag to the right. Lying down and putting the pillow over my head, I cry.
At some point later, Seth and Katherine come into the tent. Seth is so drunk he doesn’t even notice I am upset. He pulls me into his chest and falls asleep within minutes while I lay there staring at Katherine’s back until Graham finally comes into the tent sometime later.
I don’t bother lifting my head from Seth’s chest as I watch Graham’s every move. He removes his shirt and turns to face me, not at all seeming surprised when our eyes meet.
He keeps my stare as he removes his shorts, and I can’t help but dip my eyes down to peek. I see a smile when I return my eyes to him as he slides his boxer briefs and sleeping pants on. Once Graham lays down, he faces me, still lying on Seth’s chest. Graham never looks away from me, letting all the unspoken words from earlier linger.
I know he is sorry and will give me space, but tonight, we will lay here and just lose ourselves in thinking about what it might have been like.
What would have happened if I hadn’t pulled away?
I let my mind wander until I begin to dream that I slept on Graham’s chest. His fingers are the ones gripping my waist. What if it was Graham earlier today fucking me against that rock wall? What it would feel like for his cock to sink into my starving pussy repeatedly.
I must have moaned because I can feel Seth kissing my forehead gently. I open my eyes and realize we are alone in the tent, and Seth is turned on by whatever sounds I have made.
Registering him lifting my shirt takes me a minute, and I feed into it. I need some sort of release. I pull off my hoodie as he pulls off everything else. He is inside me before I realize it, and I rock my hips. I have to bite my stitches to fight the urge to moan Graham’s name.
I kiss Seth and pour every bit of my frustration into it. I bite his lip hard, and he pulls away, startled and stilling. His lip is bleeding slightly, and I stare at him in disappointment. He pulls out of me before pulling his pants back on.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
I hiss as he begins to climb out of the bed.
“You never kiss me like that.”
I let out a scoff, and he lingers another moment. I decide I am over this morning already. Over this place and, most of all, over him.
“What was the deal with you and Katherine last night?”
“I could ask you the same thing, Paige.”
I can feel myself grind my teeth as Seth doesn’t seem interested in any further conversation and storming off out of the tent. I lay back down in the tent and try calming my racing head.
“I need a giant cup of coffee.”
I groan because I feel like shit and miss Graham. I hate myself for it a little bit and whine before flopping myself back down on the air mattress.
Once Bre and Chris return to camp with all their equipment, like doe-eyed lovesick teenagers, I am officially ready to go home. As much as I have enjoyed this little trip, I have some stuff to process away from both Graham and Seth.
I grab my stuff, not bothering to talk to anyone, as the boys finish packing up the camp. Katherine is sitting in the boat, and I let out an annoyed sigh. She looks up from whatever she has in her lap and fakes a smile. I return it with my fake smile that causes her to laugh.
Even though the swelling has gone down on my lip, I know it’s a deep shade of purple and hurts like hell. She pats the seat beside her, and I plop down in defeat. I can now see the magazine she was flipping through, and I nod towards it.
“Any good gossip?” I pull my hat out of my bag and pull my long ponytail through the back. I adjust my sunglasses and can see a smirk on Katherine’s face before she answers.
“In the magazine, no. But it has been interesting here,” she says, nodding towards the boys.
Chris is cornered, and Bre heads towards us. After a few moments, she lets out a sigh before closing the magazine. I just nod because I’m not sure what to say.
“Look, I know we have a weird dynamic, but despite what it may seem like, I do love Graham, and we aren’t together. Haven’t been for a long time. My mom is sick, and living with him makes things easier dealing with that. We aren’t in love, and since meeting you, he has expressed more interest in separating permanently. It has been eating at him, and honestly, I am happy he has found someone I think may feel the same way back.”
I still don’t say anything, but Katherine has all my attention, and guilt is eating at me.
“Seth sees it too. He won’t admit it because he, for some reason, thinks he has a chance with you.”
The disappointment in Katherine’s tone is hard to miss.
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask, trying not to sound offended.
Katherine lets out a small laugh.
“I have been very shut off for a long time, and your presence has made me realize I need to work some shit out.”
I attempt to hide my surprise but failed miserably. Katherine just rolls her eyes.
“What happened between you and Graham?” I ask to under stand why she is so willing to let him go.
Katherine seems to study me for a moment before sighing.
“I’m not his person. Never was. We both wanted love so bad that I think we made up our own form of it and outgrew it.”
I hear what sounds like someone climbing in the boat and see Bre glowing as she reaches for the wine coolers to pull out three.
Part of me is relieved to see her, but I want to know more about what Katherine means. I pop open the wine cooler and let my mind race as we sit, drinking silently and watching the boys finish packing up.