Chapter Seventeen
NATALIE’S BLOOD JACKHAMMERED through her veins. If the damn rain had waited another few minutes, she’d have been out of here before Ford returned. It would’ve sucked not seeing him again, but at least she wouldn’t have had to face his accusing eyes. Not that their feelings mattered right now.
“Were you really going to leave without telling me?” The disbelief in his voice, low and raw and dark, cut her deep.
“Yes, because someone—” She cleared her throat. “They took Erik.” Her nose prickled, but she wrestled back the useless tears.
Ford frowned. “That’s your brother, right? The swimmer?”
She nodded, fighting her rising panic. Also surprised Ford remembered her rambling diatribe about Erik being a stellar swimmer, while she topped out at the doggy paddle.
She’d been ridiculously proud of him for getting a swim scholarship to Arizona State, and had probably talked about it too much.
Her throat tightened at the memory. “It’s me they want.
I can’t sit by and do nothing. Erik’s innocent and it’s my fault this happened. ”
“You’re innocent too.” Ford held up his hands in apparent frustration. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to help him, but you don’t need to sacrifice yourself out of a misguided sense of guilt.”
“I haven’t been innocent in a long time.”
His brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”
She shook her head, not ready to go there. “Never mind. What matters is that I poked the bear, and if I don’t do something quickly, my family will pay for it. Again.”
“Fuck.” He ran a hand through his damp hair, making it stick up in rows, and stared at her for a second. “There has to be something we can do.”
There he went with “we” again.
“There’s something I can do.” Natalie swallowed hard, the scar tissue on her chest throbbing. “It’s me they want.”
“Nat—”
“Don’t try to talk me out of leaving. I won’t change my mind.”
He glanced at his watch. “You’ve had less than an hour to think about it. Can we at least pause a minute to think through the options?”
And just like that, she was back to “reckless” in his mind. “You’ve had less than an hour. Given your opinion of me, you might find it hard to believe, but I stayed up half the night doing my homework. I’m not just rushing into the fight.”
“That’s not how I think of you,” he said softly, his frustration obvious in the set of his shoulders, the lines around his mouth. “Wait, you found out last night?”
Shit. Maybe she was reckless after all, because she’d meant to keep the timeline to herself. Actually, she’d meant to be gone when he returned so she wouldn’t need to have this conversation at all, but…fuck her life.
If she could’ve, she would’ve crossed her arms. Instead, she put a hand on her hip. “Yes.”
Damn the man, he crossed his arms, giving her a little biceps show. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
She raised her eyebrows. “Because you’re not the boss of me?”
He glowered back.
“Look, I knew if I told you, you’d try to talk me out of leaving.
And since I couldn’t go anywhere until morning, I figured we could spend our last night together having fun instead of fighting.
” Hell was being stuck in the dark with nothing but her fears for company, and there was no better diversion on Earth than getting naked with Ford Beaumont.
Too bad he wouldn’t be around to distract her from the heartache of living without him. She silently sucked in a deep breath. God, this hurt.
A muscle in his jaw jumped. “I’m glad one of us knew it was the last time.”
She opened her mouth, but no snappy comeback materialized, no witty misdirection. Her intention had been to save them both from this very fight and give them one last night of good memories.
“What I don’t understand is why you were trying to leave on your own, without even saying goodbye or letting me know what was going on.”
“I left a note,” she blurted. One she’d prefer he not see at this point.
“Oh, a note!” He scoffed. “How considerate.” His sarcasm lashed at her like a whip, and a perverse part of her relished such a strong reaction from him outside the bedroom. “That changes everything.”
Rain tapped against the tall windows in blustery waves, and Natalie flashed hot and cold with regret.
The last time she’d felt this way, she’d been fourteen and her dad had caught her sneaking out to meet Orlando Garcia, her school’s star lacrosse player.
Ironic that this time she’d been avoiding the hot guy, afraid she wouldn’t be able to walk away if he was right in front of her.
Picking a fight didn’t seem to be working any better to push him away, but she’d chosen her path.
“I was leaving tomorrow anyway.” She shrugged.
“I didn’t think you’d care that much if I took off early. ”
“What?” He floundered then, his lips moving soundlessly, as if stymied. “After…everything. You really think I wouldn’t care?”
Why would he? The sex had been amazing, but he’d made his stance on anything more serious very clear.
The reminder made her already upset stomach tighten.
She wasn’t fool enough to mistake good loving for actual love, or think concern over her wellbeing signaled a deeper affection.
Not anymore. Those hard-won insights hadn’t stopped her from falling in love with Ford, but that didn’t mean she wanted to stick around to get her heart trampled.
“Honestly, I thought you’d be grateful if I left. We agreed that neither of us was looking for anything serious. Just a little fun to help pass the time, right? This way, there’d have been no need to figure out how to end things, no messy goodbyes.” She gestured toward him. “Now it’s messy.”
Water dripped from his dark hair and off the hem of his rain-soaked jeans as he scowled at her, hands clenched.
She could practically see him rebuilding his emotional walls, the stoic expression slipping into place like a garage door coming down to hide the clutter.
“You realize this is a trap.” His voice had gone flat, no longer even betraying anger.
The transformation made her want to cry. “Probably. Yes.” No doubt in her mind.
Next to Ford, Blitz did the classic body-twisting dog shake that started at her head and ended with her tail, feet dancing comically as she sprayed water everywhere.
No one laughed.
“Fuck.” Ford draped a towel over the fur ball and quickly rubbed her down before wiping her feet. Then he spread the towel on the floor to soak up the puddles the two of them had made, and began drying himself off with the towel draped over his shoulders. “So what’s your plan?”
She ached to go to him, help him remove his wet clothes, take care of him. Unfortunately, that bridge had gone up in flames. And she needed to leave. “Go to the consulate. Reanimate my identity. Go home. Find my brother.”
“And make yourself a sitting duck at every step.” He dropped his towel on another wet spot on the tile and ran a hand through his damp hair, pinning her with stormy blue eyes.
“Without someone there to watch your back. Without me. I didn’t think you were that—” He clamped his mouth shut. “You know better.”
He’d wanted to call her worse. It hurt, but she refused to let him bait her into changing her mind. She stuffed his words and her feelings down deep where they couldn’t distract her.
Raising an eyebrow, she put a hand on her hip and cocked her head.
“Clearly, you don’t know me very well.” If he did, he’d understand that she couldn’t stay cooped up here another minute.
Her brother was in danger, and she couldn’t let Ford put himself in harm’s way for her any longer.
Not now that she could take care of herself and make her own choices.
Not when her bluff had been called, and she would almost certainly come face to face with whoever wanted her dead—or at least their proxy.
The thought of Ford getting hurt, especially on her behalf—again—made her chest tight.
“Look, I know you feel responsible for your clients, but that’s not the same thing as caring.
Which is fine. You’ve done your job. You kept me alive while I healed.
We even shared a few orgasms along the way.
” More than a few. She forced a saucy smile and was rewarded with a wash of pink across his cheeks.
“Thank you. For all of it. But you’re off the hook now.
” Gripping the handrail, she carefully finished descending the stairs and stood in front of him. “I’m not your responsibility anymore.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t work like that, Nat. As long as you’re still in danger, it’s my job to protect you.”
“Then you’re fired.” Stubborn man. If she thought her real reasons would win the argument, she’d simply tell him.
But he’d blab on about being able to make his own choice about who to risk his life for, about not needing her to keep him safe, about doing whatever it took for his clients.
So, taking a deep breath, she looked him dead in the eye and gathered all of her courage.
Speaking softly but firmly, she made her final plea.
One he wouldn’t be able to ignore. “Please don’t follow me against my will. ”
Natalie’s soft words hit Ford like a punch to the face. His ears buzzed. His brain reeled.
The stalker implication was a low blow, and she knew it. Being compared to the creepy fucker who’d made her life miserable, and had nearly killed Ford, was a deliberate ploy to get him to back down. And it fucking worked. What could he say?
Clearly she didn’t want his help. And he’d pushed too hard, made this argument about himself and what he wanted instead of focusing on Nat and her brother and what she wanted.
He’d forced her to find a way to cut him off at the knees because she knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t back down from his sense of duty.
She’d played the stalker card and left him feeling like he was bleeding out on the floor again.