Life After

Chapter 1

Same crap, different day!

Jen sat up and stretched, aware that another mindless day was about to commence. She had a job, and she was grateful for that, but Jesus Christ, it was mind-numbing. You’re lucky anyone wants to employ you!

As Jen checked her phone, she realised it was Thursday. For the last four weeks, Thursday had become her favourite day. It meant Jen would see Mrs Dixon on her delivery round. It meant something would make her smile today.

Mrs Dixon lived on the nicer side of town. Belmont . She wasn’t fond of that particular area—the wealth dripping from its tenants was enough to make her gag—but Mrs Dixon certainly made Jen’s day memorable. The first time she had delivered there, she wore a sweater and yoga pants. The second time, the smile was far more stunning as she answered the door in a racerback, and last week? Well, Jen had almost tripped over her own feet as she had taken the steps to the front door. Mrs Dixon wore a navy blue pinstriped business suit tailored to her curvy figure. Jen hadn’t expected the reaction she had, nor had she expected Mrs Dixon to appear so…sexy and in control, but Jen had lived with the very image in her head from that day on.

She knew it was a mistake, but Jen found herself flirting right back with the woman standing in the doorway of the very fancy home. She was married, probably to some CEO, but Jen hadn’t come across him yet. She hoped she never would. It would only shatter the idea she had of the woman in her head. While it was just the two of them harmlessly flirting, Jen was more than happy to play along.

“Jen, love?” Jen’s mum called out from the bottom of the stairs. “Made you a cuppa.”

“Thanks, Mum.” Jen threw back the cover and planted her feet on the floor. If she could just focus on this afternoon—seeing Mrs Dixon again—her day would run smoothly, and it would be over before she’d had time to think.

She took her hoodie from the single chair in the corner of her bedroom and pulled it on. Her mum had been setting the heating to come on at six each morning since Jen had been accepted with the courier firm she was working for. But her mum had always been great like that. No matter Jen’s issues in the past, Denise Fletcher had always looked after her kids as best as she could. Even now, with Jen thirty years old, that hadn’t changed.

Jen took the stairs slowly, stifling a yawn as she reached the hallway. It was ridiculous to start work at seven-thirty in the morning—no matter the season—but again, Jen was just happy to be bringing in a wage for the time being. She didn’t know if or when her circumstances would change, but she knew she’d never have the chance to use her university degree to its full potential any time soon. Or…at all. Ever again .

“Morning, love.” Jen’s mum kissed her on the cheek as she came out of the kitchen. “Cuppa is on the side. Let me know if you’d like some breakfast.”

“Thanks, Mum. I think I’ll pass on breakfast again. I find it hard to be hungry when it’s not even light outside yet.”

“Then I’ll pack you a snack for when you’re feeling hungry.” Denise winked as she moved through into the living room, the morning news already playing on the TV. “Do you have time to sit down with your cuppa?”

“Oh, yeah.” Jen smiled as she grabbed her cup of tea from the kitchen counter and followed her mum into the living room. “So, any plans today?”

“I think I’m going shopping with Grace and Toby.”

Jen wished she could do that with her sister and baby nephew. No chance any time soon. “That’ll be nice if the weather doesn’t turn like it did yesterday.”

“Oh, it’s just a bit of rain. We won’t melt.” Denise sat in her usual seat, legs crossed as she watched the news. “I hope you drive carefully when the weather is bad, Jen. I worry about you enough as it is.”

“I’m fine. I don’t drive like an idiot. I never have.”

“No, I know.” Denise eyed Jen and smiled. “Are you on your own every day, or do you sometimes have a colleague with you?”

“Nope. Just me.” Jen puffed out her cheeks and sat back. “Which I guess I don’t mind, but it is a boring job.” Jen cleared her throat as she looked over at her mum. “I know it’s not really good enough, but I will try to find something better. I promise you.”

“I’m just glad you’re back here with me, love. You know I’ll give you a hand where I can.”

And that was exactly what Jen didn’t want. Her mum had done enough for her over the last few years. She was lucky to have her. Anyone else would have disowned Jen, given the last five years of her life. “I appreciate that, but I have to stand on my own two feet.”

“So long as you come home each evening and eat the dinner I’ve put out for you, that’s all I care about. Something so bloody normal shouldn’t still make me feel so emotional.” Denise waved a hand in front of her and sniffled. “I’ll make your favourite tonight. You’ll be shattered by the time you finish.”

Yeah. Jen would. With usually one hundred or so parcels to deliver, she couldn’t wait to fall through the door each night. “I’m happy with whatever you’re making for dinner. And I don’t know, maybe I could treat you to a meal out somewhere when I get paid.”

“That would be lovely,” Denise said. “But you should spend your money on you, Jen. Treat yourself to something nice.”

Jen didn’t have anything nice in mind. She was just happy to be breathing fresh air again. Even the cup of tea in her hand tasted amazing when it shouldn’t taste like anything other than a simple cup of tea. “Taking you out for dinner is something nice to me.”

“Okay, well, let’s play it by ear.”

Jen glanced at the time in the corner of the TV screen. She should probably get ready to leave for the depot. “Right, I’d love to sit around and chat, but you know, work and that.”

“I’ll get that snack ready for you, love.” Denise got to her feet and took Jen’s empty cup from her as she passed her by. Jen wanted to reach out and hug her mum, to thank her for being so amazing recently, but she wasn’t sure what emotional state she would be in after it. “And Jen?”

Jen looked up at her. “Yeah?”

“Things will get better. I just know it.”

Jen smiled. She really wished she had her mum’s optimism. It was refreshing, even if it didn’t feel possible. “I know.”

“And Ruby would be proud of the recovery you’ve made. You and I both know it.”

Jen scoffed. Ruby would be devastated before she was proud. “If Ruby hadn’t died, none of this would have happened.”

“No, I know.”

“Not that I’m using it as an excuse. Being sent to prison was on me and nobody else. Regardless of why my life changed, why… I changed, I’m to blame for the past.”

“You did your time, Jen. Now, we move forward together. You’ve got a heart of gold, and I’m proud to call you my daughter.”

Jen ran a hand through her short, cropped hair and regarded her mum with the smallest smile. “Thanks, Mum. I just…I have changed. It was a rough time in my life, but it’s not what defines me.”

“Never, love.”

“I’ll jump in the shower and get ready for work. Make sure you give Toby a cuddle for me, okay?”

“I’m sure Toby would love a cuddle from his Aunt Jen. I’ll speak to Grace today about bringing him over for a few hours this weekend.”

“That would be nice. It just depends what Dan thinks about it. You know?” Jen’s voice almost betrayed her, but she kept her composure. “If he says no, that’s okay. I get it.”

“Well, I bloody don’t. Toby is my grandson, and if I want him in this house, I’ll make sure that happens. Don’t worry.”

Jen nodded and left the living room. It was hard not to worry when she wasn’t even allowed to see her only nephew. Toby’s dad didn’t know Jen, she had already alienated herself from everyone when Grace met him, but the whole ‘convicted criminal’ had put a stop to all contact with Toby once Jen was released from prison. Still, she hoped that Dan would come around to the idea one day.

But for now, she had a shitty job to get to.

And a little flirting to partake in.

Jen sat in a lay-by off the motorway, forcing her chicken pasta down her throat as quickly as she could. The sooner she finished delivering her load, the sooner she could go home and contemplate where she went from here. The only thing she knew right now was that she wasn’t enjoying herself. Not in the slightest. The hours were ridiculous—depending on how fast you worked—the pay was terrible, and the job itself was just…not for Jen.

Her mind required far more stimulation than it was currently getting. She was intelligent, and she’d had plans, so to be sitting here on a drizzly Thursday afternoon just didn’t feel right. Jen didn’t feel right. Then again, nothing had felt right for the last five years.

Ruby .

Jen smiled, even though her chest ached. Ruby Mulligan had been the greatest friend in the world. From the day they’d met at primary school, both aged six, Jen and Ruby had been inseparable. She didn’t know exactly why they’d taken a liking to each other, but they did everything together. Within days of meeting, they were walking to school with one another, Denise and Ruby’s mum, Lyn, a little further back so they felt ‘grown up.’

Jen laughed to herself. They’d begged their mums to pretend they were walking alone. Ruby had always used a fancy handbag style bag for school, and she would strut down the pavement as though she was walking the catwalk at London Fashion Week. As they’d grown up, Ruby hadn’t changed. She was obsessed with all things glamour, design, and trendy.

And then it had all come crashing down.

Jen stared through the windscreen, repeatedly swallowing down the lump of emotion in her throat. “Fuck.” Her bottom lip trembled, her eyes burned, and her heart… Well, that had broken a long time ago. Over the years, it didn’t feel as though it would ever heal.

The call Jen received would always stick firm in her mind. It was impossible to forget it. As Lyn had cried down the phone, barely able to form a sentence, Jen knew something was terribly wrong. What she hadn’t expected was to be told that her best friend of almost twenty years hadn’t woken up that morning. Ruby had passed away in her sleep from Sudden Adult Death Syndrome.

Jen’s plan after Ruby’s death had been to focus all of her time and attention on fundraising and whatnot, but instead, she’d fallen apart. Instead of reminding herself of what Ruby had brought to her life, she chose to hit rock bottom. And boy did she hit it with one hell of a thud. Hard. Almost to the point of no return.

You’re not at that place anymore.

Jen pushed those months and years from her mind and brought her phone up from the console in her van. A picture of Toby sat on the screen, but it was the only picture Jen had ever had the chance to take. It was when he was a few weeks old, and her sister, Grace, had snuck him into the house without Dan knowing. Toby was welcome at Nanna Denise’s whenever they wanted to bring him…provided Jen wasn’t home.

She lowered her phone to the console again and started the engine. She only had another twenty deliveries to make, and then she would be out of this van and changing into something comfortable.

As she took the first exit off the motorway, her phone started to ring via her hands-free.

“Hey, sis. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Mum said you want me to bring Toby over at the weekend.”

“I’d love to see him. He’s what? Four months now?” Grace gave birth to Toby a few weeks before Jen was released from prison. “So…could I see him?”

“I’ll tell Dan I’m going over to see one of the girls.”

Jen sighed. She didn’t want her sister to lie to the man she would marry next year. Another thing Jen wouldn’t be a part of, more than likely. “If it’s going to be too much trouble for you, don’t worry about it.”

“I… No. It’s not too much trouble. Dan won’t know where I am.”

“But I don’t like the idea of you lying to him, Grace. He’s your fiancé and your baby’s dad. I don’t want him to hate me any more than he already does when he finds out you’ve been sneaking to Mum’s.”

“That’s the best I can do right now, Jen. He’s not having a great time at work, so I really don’t want to mention it to him and put him on the spot.”

Huh. Put him on the spot? Perhaps Grace could have her back instead and explain that Jen wasn’t some evil ex-con who couldn’t be trusted around children. Fuck, she’d been a primary school teacher before everything happened! “You know what, don’t worry about it. I don’t want to cause any friction in your relationship.” Jen sighed. “Just…I opened a savings account for Toby a few weeks after I was released. There isn’t much in it, but I’ll keep adding to it as and when I can. Maybe he’ll know I love him when he’s old enough to understand and know the truth.” Jen cleared her throat, determined to have a day without tears. “I am sorry everyone hates me. If it helps, I hate me, too.”

“Jen,” Grace paused, and then Jen heard Toby crying in the background. “Nobody hates you.”

“Look, I should go. I’m still working.” Jen shook her head slightly and turned onto Mrs Dixon’s road. It was lined with huge oak trees and Edwardian houses that sat back off the street. “I’ve reached the fancy part of town, and it’s a narrow road. I’d better concentrate so I don’t get myself into any more trouble.”

“Fine, okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”

Jen smiled. “Yeah. Love you, too.”

She cut the call and the engine, then exited her van. One more package down and a mile or so closer to home. Once she’d rummaged around for the package she needed, she locked the van up and approached the front of the gorgeous house she desperately wanted to see the inside of. It had to be spectacular. The privacy hedges were trimmed to perfection, not a leaf out of place, and the front of the house looked as though it had been freshly painted since last week. Probably the husband.

Before she had taken on this job, it had been a long time since Jen had ventured over this side of town. If she had to guess, she would say it was back when she was still working in her teaching position. Ruby’s mum only lived a few streets away, so this area had been familiar to Jen once upon a time.

What do you have in store for me today? Jen grinned as she pushed through the garden gate, eyeing the brand new Range Rover Sport that sat on the drive. It was definitely Mrs Dixon’s car. Jen could tell by how pristine it looked. A little like the owner, only the owner was far more beautiful than any luxury car.

Jen’s lips parted as she heard the lock disengage on the back of the door, but she chose to focus on the package in her hand. She needed to get the important stuff out of the way before they locked eyes. Jen lost her train of thought when that dark and intense stare landed on her. “Package for Mrs Dixon,” Jen said as she scanned the box in her hand. “Just the same as usual. A signature and I’ll be out of your way.”

She did look up this time, her smile widening when Mrs Dixon gazed back at her, that gorgeous dark hair flowing over her shoulders.

“Nice to see you again.” Mrs Dixon rested against the doorframe, folding her arms across her chest and revealing her cleavage a little more. Today, she wore a sheer white blouse with several top buttons open.

“Y-yeah.” Jen cleared her throat, wishing she was wearing sunglasses right now. It was hard not to look at the obvious, but she suspected this woman knew what she was doing. “Always a pleasure delivering to you.”

Mrs Dixon cocked her head, those huge brown eyes gazing back at Jen. “Am I on your round permanently now?”

“Looks like you’re stuck with me, yes.”

“Perhaps I should put in an extra order each week.” Mrs Dixon pushed off the doorframe and reached towards the package Jen held. Their fingers brushed, and if Jen wasn’t mistaken, Mrs Dixon appeared to be lingering longer than usual.

Jen’s palms grew clammy. This was a new development. Still, she had to remember that this woman was married. “I’m sure I could drop any package you need whenever you need it.”

“Is that so?” Mrs Dixon smirked, both of them still holding onto the package. It seemed Jen was frozen where she stood. “I had no idea couriers around here were becoming so…accommodating.”

Heat crept up Jen’s neck and onto her cheeks. She had to admit that this felt pretty good. It had been a long time since she’d flirted. Jen was surprised she remembered how. Knowing that this woman had no idea who Jen was or where she had been recently, it certainly made her feel better about herself. Even if only for a few minutes. She would take it, and maybe she would bite back, too. “I had no idea some of the houses I’d be delivering to could be so charming.”

“Since you’re going to be here weekly, I should know your name.”

Jen held out a hand and smiled as Mrs Dixon took it. “I’m Jen.”

“Suzanne.” And there it was. A name to put to a beautiful face. “Forgive me if this seems very strange, but you seem like the kind of person who knows what they’re doing when it comes to tech.”

“I’m sorry?” Jen’s brows drew together. Had Mrs Dixon just flirted with Jen to get some sort of assistance with her computer? She was impressed if that was the case. Though Jen wasn’t sure how much use she would be. Technology hadn’t exactly been something she’d had much experience with over the last few years. “Tech?”

“Mm. My internet is giving me the runaround today. I’d be very grateful if you could take a look at it.”

“I know…a bit about broadband.”

“Wonderful.” Suzanne inched to the side a little, offering Jen access to her property.

As Jen rubbed the back of her neck and glanced over at her van, she had to consider her next step. She was still working, and technically, she was on a clock. “Is it urgent?”

“It could be if that would encourage you to come inside.” Suzanne winked, that playful smile still present. God, this woman was out of this world…and her mind, to be flirting with Jen. The differences between them were obvious for anyone to see.

Stall. Then decide what to do . Jen threw a thumb over her shoulder. “I’m on a bit of a tight schedule but I’d be happy to come back once I’ve finished the last of my deliveries.” Jen had no idea why she was humouring this woman, they didn’t know a thing about one another, but she could take a look at Suzanne’s internet if she really had nobody else. “Would that work for you?”

Suzanne nodded. “That would work for me.”

“Great. Um, I’ll probably be around an hour or so.” Jen swallowed, aware that she would absolutely be playing with fire if she came back here. The woman was married, for fuck’s sake.

“I’ll look forward to it.”

Jen backed away and smiled. If nothing else, maybe Suzanne would leave her a great review for her service today. She lifted her hand and offered a small wave. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

“I’ll be waiting.”