Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Aaran
T here’s nothing to do but watch her storm across the deck and up the steps to the bow. I’ll admit, I could have reacted better to the vision, but it was so real. Me and Harper here in Domhan with dragons back in the world and three littles who looked like us. How was I supposed to react? I’ve never had feelings like this for anyone. It was bad enough to hear the things she was saying, but I felt her hurt from the inside.
Moving aft, I block her thoughts. She told me not to, but I think she’s happy to have me out of her head right now.
As the sun begins to set, Fancor brings me a bowl of food. “That could have been better handled, lad.”
“I know.” I take the meager stew and eat. “It’s complicated.”
He slaps me on the back hard enough that I nearly spit out a mouthful of food. “No. It’s not.” He laughs. “You declared yourself, and then you got scared. Everyone on the ship knows that now. How are you going to make it right again?” He sits on the crate of extra wood next to me. It’s for the galley, but there wasn’t room below, so it’s relegated to the deck. Not ideal, but better than people having to endure all weather up here.
“Maybe it’s better if I don’t. She’s human. She has a mother and a life in her world.” A few hours ago, I would have begged her to stay here, but now I’m imagining her going home. I’m feeling more undecided than my youngest brother. Maybe I’ve always been too hard on Raith after all.
Fancor rubs his face like a man holding himself in check. “Lad, that woman came all the way here to save your world. Do you think she did that out of the kindness of her heart?”
“I saved her mother’s life. That’s why she came.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t be a dolt. You don’t believe that. She came because even then, she cared about what happened to you and the people you love. Did you lie when you told her you loved her? Was all of that just for the, what did she call it, booty call?” He chuckles at the foreign term.
“I didn’t lie, but we can’t always have what we want.” My stomach gives a lurch that has nothing to do with the stew. I put aside the half-eaten food.
“Maybe the lass was right about you thinking your princely duties outweigh the duty of the heart.” He nods, looking pleased. “She’s a smart one, our Harper.”
Once the dwarf leaves me alone, my thoughts do not give me a moment’s peace. I am a dolt.
F or the next two days, we journey west.
Harper bolts the cabin door each night. When I open my mind to search for hers, I find that closed to me as well.
Without complaint, I sleep on the deck. It’s a small penance for my stupidity.
During the day, Jax, Nainsi, Fancor, and I train her with sword and arrow. She has good instincts, a fine eye for the target, and is willing to learn. We couldn’t ask for a better student.
On the third night, I’m lying on the deck when a whiff of grass crosses the bow. I squint into the darkness and make out the shadow of land in the distance. The southern end of the west continent is finally within our sight. I breathe deep the hint of flowers and trees.
Silent as a cat, Harper steps onto the deck. I know she’s there before I turn. Though her mind still blocks me, I sense her in other ways. My skin tingles and my heart beats faster when she is present. We are connected through deeper means than hearing thoughts. She steps to the rail and her shoulders rise and fall.
I move beside her. “You can’t sleep?”
Shaking her head, she says, “Is that land?”
“We missed the islands completely. That’s the continent. We should arrive at the gulf just north of Clandunna.” I long to reach over and pull her close. My fingers itch for contact.
“Back where we started.” She sighs. “Will we go by land once we arrive?”
“No.” I hazard touching her back, and when she doesn’t move away, I skim my palm up her spine to the base of her neck. “We’ll need to send a hunting party out and gather provisions, but we’ll take this ship up the coast to the north port.”
She faces me. “I understand why you were scared.”
“I’m sorry for the way I reacted. I do love you, Harper. I have prayed day and night that you know that.” It’s hard to breathe with my pulse racing so fast.
Like magic illuminating a room, her mind opens to me. Her love flows into me, and my soul sings in unison with hers. My throat is tight with emotion, and I open my arms to her.
Harper steps into my embrace and cries against my chest. Air rushes from her lungs. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to be angry with you. I left my world to save yours. If we don’t succeed, it is all for nothing.”
As much as I long to hear her tell me she still loves me, I don’t deserve that level of comfort. “We will do what we must. I promised to keep you safe so you can return to your mother. I will keep my promise even if we fight. I will love you, even if you despise me. I don’t know how to atone for what I said.” I lose my words.
“I don’t despise you.” She presses her cheek to my chest and wraps her arms around me. Together, we watch the horizon. “How far is the land?”
“Half a day’s journey. We will arrive midmorning.” Even after all this time in Domhan, she still smells uniquely of her world and her essence. I’ve missed her, despite being on the same ship and training together. I’ve missed the feel of her in my arms and the sense of her thoughts close by. “We should try to sleep. Dawn is only a few hours away.”
After dislodging from my embrace, she lies down on my blanket pallet and turns on her side.
Lying beside her, I curl my front to her back and slide my arm under her head.
She snuggles into my biceps and sighs. “This is better.”
It is. It’s more than I deserve and everything I’ll ever want. “I won’t freak out again, mo chroi .” I use her words so we’re clear on what we are speaking of.
“I’ll try not to lose my temper if you do.” I can feel the niggling inside her mind. “One thing, though…” She rolls to face me.
I skim my hand over her cheek and thread her hair through my fingers and out of her face. “The vision?”
She nods. “Are you certain it came from me?”
“I honestly don’t know if it was from you or me or some magic made by the two of us together. I know what we saw was beautiful and feels impossible at this moment.” My throat tightens.
“It does. I can’t argue with that. Do you think it was the future or just a fantasy?” Her green eyes seem lighted, though there is no moon, only starlight.
“Maybe a possible future. I don’t know, Harper. Even seers will caution against believing their visions entirely. The past is set in place, but the future is always variable. And since there were dragons in the vision, even the past can be false.” My gut is churning with the realization.
She gapes. “What does that mean?”
I embrace her and pull her close. Cupping her head, I comb my fingers over her soft hair. “Dragon magic is complicated. They can manipulate time. That’s how Delana trapped them in time.”
“I don’t understand.”
Having her in my arms is so comfortable. It’s as if this was always meant to be. I close my eyes. “We can ask my mother about the vision when we see her. She has far more knowledge of such things.”
“Mmm…” Her breathing slow and steady she cuddles into me.
With Harper in my arms, I find peace and rest for the first time in three nights.
A t first light, the entire party is awake and watching as we approach land. I’ll admit that I’m anxious to get off the ship and feel dry, solid land beneath my feet.
Since there is no port in the Gulf Uaine, we have to drop anchor and take the small boat to the rocky beach. There is some sand, but many boulders jut from the beach. Jax has fished the area and is confident about our approach. If he’s wrong, we could drown. At the very least, if we lose the boat, we’ll have a hell of a time getting back to the ship.
Bert gives the command to drop anchor, and it feels as if everyone on board sighs with relief. Still, there’s a long journey ahead, and not all of it is easy.
“What is it?” Harper stands beside me.
“I worry too much.” It’s my attempt to ease her fears.
She laughs. “I doubt that, considering what we’ve faced so far.”
“Are you sure you would not be better off staying aboard?” I know I’d feel better.
She stares me down like the warrior she is. “No. I need to use some of the skills you’ve taught me these last few days. Besides, what if the ship is attacked? Will you be comfortable not being able to reach me?”
It is difficult not to adore her quick mind and how she always thinks one or three steps ahead. “You are too clever for me, and perhaps for your own good as well.”
As she climbs over the rail and into the boat, she says, “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”
I’m not at all surprised. I hold my breath until she’s seated in the dinghy, and then I head down the rope ladder to join the party of ten who will hunt and gather for the rest of the trip up the coast.
With two oarsmen, we paddle toward land.
Bert stays aboard the ship, but Nainsi is a fine archer and comes to hunt.
As he promised, Jax directs the boat to a sandy patch of beach where we ride a wave to safety. Once the boat is secured, Cara, Dorian, and two more head into the woods to the northwest. Jax, Nainsi, Harper, Beran, Fancor, and I keep to the west and south.
This part of the world is filled with contrast. The dark sea crashes against jutting gray rocks and soft white sand. A hundred yards away stands the greenest woods I’ve ever seen. From the cliffs where Harper and I arrived at Clandunna, these woods looked as if they’d been painted into place.
Birds squawk loudly, unbothered by our presence. With no paths to follow, we push through dense underbrush until we reach the heavy canopy. It’s an old forest with gnarled roots rising above the soil. Overhead, the treetops sway in the breeze. The trunks creak and groan as if they speak to each other. Hopefully, they’re not complaining about our presence.
It’s hard enough on my legs to traverse this place. I’m wishing more than ever that Harper had stayed behind.
Without complaint, she walks carefully a few feet to my left. “I feel as if I’m still swaying with the ocean.”
Patting her arm, Fancor grins. “It will take some time to find your land legs again.” He stops, crouches, and narrows his gaze westward.
A twig snaps. I’m slightly annoyed that a dwarf heard the deer before I did. Signaling to Harper, I point. It seems a consensus to let Harper take the first kill. Everyone watches, eager to see what she can do.
She swallows, and her color grows pale and a little green. Still, she nocks her arrow, takes a firm stance, and waits.
The deer steps into view.
I whisper, “Just behind and above the front leg.”
Harper is focused, but no less gray. Sorrow and pain reflect in her eyes as she draws the bow back and releases her arrow. It flies true, and the deer drops where it stood. Tears stream down her cheeks as she walks with her head high to the kill.
The rest of us follow and watch as she kneels beside the doe. Placing her hand on its neck, she closes her eyes.
I take a knee, as does the rest of the group. Thanking the animal for giving itself so we might live is an old practice, one I haven’t done since I was a boy and my father taught me and my brothers to hunt. I’m at a loss for why I stopped, and say the words in my heart.
Fancor presses his hand to his heart in the tradition of dwarven prayer.
When she pulls her hand away, she asks, “What now?”
“I’ll show you, lass,” Fancor says. “It was a fine, clean kill. The best first shot I’ve ever seen.”
“It was a fine shot.” I sense her trepidation to accept the compliments. It’s the first innocent animal she’s ever killed.
After dashing her tears away, she cleans the dear as Fancor instructs.
The hunt continues until we have three deer and a handful of rabbits. It’s a shame to leave the skins, but it’s the meat we’ll need in the coming days, and we don’t have time for tanning.
When the work is done, we wait on the beach for the gathering party to return.
Harper scrubs her hands in the saltwater before coming and sitting beside me in the sand. “I suppose you would consider this a good day.”
Leaning on my palms in the soft damp sand, I love that she comes to me for comfort and conversation. “It was a productive hunt, and we will all get to eat during our journey north.”
“I guess I’ll have to cultivate a harder heart.” She wraps her arms around her knees and stares out at the horizon.
The sun is directly above us, and all the blond and red streaks shine along her braid.
Unable to resist, I touch the bottom of the plait and worry the soft strands between my fingers. “I would be very sorry for you to change anything about your heart.”
“But it hurt me to kill that deer, even though I know we need the food.” A tear rolls down her cheek.
I sit up so that I can look into her eyes. “It’s not a bad thing to feel sorrow for the loss while accepting its inevitability. More than that, Harper, you reminded the rest of us that the deer is more than food. What you did today was beautiful and poignant. I was honored to witness those moments in the woods with you, and I am willing to wager that the others feel the same.”
She looks at Nainsi, who sits only ten or so feet away.
With a sharp nod, Nainsi blushes.
“I was a little ashamed of myself when I saw you praying over the deer. It had been years since I thanked a beast for giving its life for my sake.” My throat clogs.
Blinking, Harper turns bright red. “Oh. It seemed only right. I don’t know the customs.”
I press a finger over her lips then cup her cheek and kiss her. “It was beautiful. My father is going to adore you.”
Her smile could light all of Domhan.
A rustle in the forest grabs our attention, and four elves laden with full baskets trudge onto the beach.
Once we are all loaded, we make our way back to the ship. My muscles ache from a hard day’s work, but my arms are content with Harper leaning against me at the rear of the boat.
On a long sigh, she says, “It was a good day.”