Chapter Forty-Five Sunny
Chapter Forty-Five
Sunny
How long have we been walking?
We have long since grown silent, too exhausted to talk. I trudge on, staring down at the ground, sick of purgatory’s jarring changes of scenery—one minute in the Kingdom of Sky and the next minute in another kingdom.
I am both impatient and afraid to find Hwanin, the god of Heavens. If he agrees to share his gi with me, I will be one step closer to my death. But if he refuses, we are all doomed. My life in exchange for the lives of every other being in the worlds is more than a fair trade.
Then why does it feel so unfair?
The watery daylight shuts off without warning. We stumble to a halt and stand in the pitch black of a moonless night. Ethan’s hand tightens around my waist, and my heart melts at his protectiveness.
I can only see the silvery-green light of his beautiful life force, but I don’t need to see his face to know that I am cherished. As unfair as it seems, I am truly blessed. When it comes time for him to save me from becoming the End of Days, I will die knowing I am loved beyond anything.
“We are here,” Gyun announces.
“This is rather dramatic of Hwanin,” the god of Water murmurs.
“And a wall of churning ocean isn’t?” Yeomla shoots back at him.
I’m beginning to like the god of Underworld. He’s an asshole, to be sure, but at least he owns it.
“Why is nothing happening?” Hailey whispers. “This is usually when the gods make their grand entrance.”
“I know, right?” I hover a grapefruit-sized ball of light over my palm. “Maybe this will wake him up.”
Ethan gasps when my light orb illuminates purgatory’s version of his mother’s garden. “Why would Hwanin choose to sleep here?”
“It reminds me of Mountains.” A lone figure with long silver hair stands, facing the waterless pond. “It reminds me of my son. Of my grandson.”
I disperse the light as the unrelenting night fades into a colorless day. When the god of Heavens turns to face us, his face is unlined and ageless—eerily beautiful like the other gods. But the desolation in his eyes almost makes me regret waking him up from the oblivion of sleep.
“Lord Hwanin.” I hesitate. “W-we come to plead for your help.”
“You do not know what you ask, child.” He holds my gaze with an intensity that dries out my mouth. “Absorbing my life force might kill you.”
Ethan tenses at my side. I’m so sorry. I can’t bear to look at him, because my next words will hurt him even more.
“But it’s the only way,” I plead.
“You . . . knew?” Ethan drops his hand from my waist, then steps back from me.
“Ethan—”
“Don’t.” He cuts me off, a muscle working in his jaw.
“If I don’t try, it means certain death. For all of us,” I explain anyway. “This is our only chance at a different outcome.”
I can’t tell him that it means certain death for me either way. Not yet. At least, if this works, Ethan will live. My friends will live. The Realm of Four Kingdoms will survive.
My life for the life of everyone.
It really is more than fair, but he won’t see it that way. I know because I wouldn’t trade him for all the worlds.
“I will not lose you.” His voice breaks, and a fissure runs down my heart. “I can’t. I won’t—”
I crush my lips against his, holding his face between my hands. For a heartbeat, he stands as still as stone before he kisses me back with desperation . . . and devastation. He understands. He knows I have to try.
My kind, noble Ethan.
“You won’t lose me,” I whisper against his lips. “You will never lose me because I am your heart. As long as it beats, I will be with you.”
After another hard kiss, he raises his head. “Better yet. Just fucking live, Sunny. Promise me you’ll live.”
“I promise.”
I’m not full of shit. I know I can absorb Hwanin’s life force without dying—I can absorb the gi of all four gods and live. You know how I know? Because fate is a sick motherfucker. I’ll survive so I can die at the hands of my fated love.
My blood thunders in my ears, and light tremors skate down my limbs. I am terrified of the gods, but I’m getting tired of all their hemming and hawing. And honestly? I have zero fucks to give at this point.
I address the god of Heavens. “I know exactly what I’m asking for. Will you share your gi with me if I’m willing to risk dying for it, Lord Hwanin? Or is your concern just an excuse to hoard your mighty powers?”
“I will share my gi with you,” the silver-haired god answers.
“You . . .” I did not expect that.
“Hwanin,” Yeomla interjects, alarm skittering across his face. “Are you certain?”
“Of course he is not certain,” Yongwang hisses. The god of Water narrows his eyes into angry slits, his dragon looking out from within. “Hwanin, you will do no such thing.”
“The atrocity we have committed . . .” The god of Heavens slowly shakes his head. “We must right our wrongs. We must try.”
What atrocity? What wrongs? What the hell are they talking about?
“We did what had to be done to protect the—” Yongwang blusters.
“We were not trying to protect anyone but ourselves,” Hwanin roars, and lightning flickers in the gray sky. He breathes through his nose and continues in a subdued voice, “In the end, even a god is but one soul. The same as every being we must protect.”
“Then let us wait until we find Dangun,” the god of Water says in a placating tone, trying a different tactic. “We all four must do this in order for it to work.”
“We do not need to find my grandson.” Hwanin raises his chin. “I already know where the god of Mountains dwells.”
“We did not part in the best of ways,” Yongwang mutters darkly. “He might not want to have anything to do with us.”
“That is why I must share my gi with this child. Only she can go to Dangun.” The god of Heavens steps close to me. “He will listen to her. He must listen to her and help us right our wrongs.”
There they go with the wrongs again. What wrongs? I open my mouth to ask, but the gods aren’t done yapping yet.
“Can we right our wrongs?” Anguish lines Yeomla’s words. “Can we be . . . forgiven?”
“No, we cannot be forgiven.” Hwanin deflates before our eyes. “But I grow weary of running from the guilt. Do you not? This time, we can choose to do the right thing.”
“There will be consequences.” Yongwang runs an unsteady hand through his hair. “Consequences that cannot be undone.”
“And those consequences will be our salvation,” Hwanin says.
What consequences?
“With all due respect,” I snap, my nerves stretched taut, “what the fuck are you guys talking about?”
Silence descends on us like a soaked blanket. When every shocked gaze zeroes in on me, the blood drains from my face.
I might have gone too far.
“You know,” Yeomla observes wryly, flicking invisible dirt off his red robe, “saying ‘with all due respect’ does not make what you just said respectful.”
My breath wheezes out of me.
“Yes, quite.” Yongwang’s lips quirk in a ghost of a smile. “We would smite you on the spot if you weren’t so essential.”
“Uh, thank you?” I think he’s joking. It’s a tiny bit reassuring that the gods have a sense of humor. “Wh-what happens now?”
“Are you ready to receive my life force?” the god of Heavens asks almost kindly.
“I . . .” My terrified gaze shoots to Ethan. He squeezes my hand, nodding once, and I take a steadying breath. “I am ready, Lord Hwanin.”
“Stand back.” The god of Underworld flaps his flowing red sleeve at Hailey, Gyun, and Ethan. “The power they generate will burn you alive, starting with your eyes. Keep them closed. You cannot look at them until this is over. Is that understood?”
“Yes, Lord Yeomla,” Gyun answers.
Hailey sends a worried glance my way before consenting. “Yes.”
“And you?” Yeomla arches a perfect brow at Ethan.
“I will do as instructed”—Ethan narrows his eyes at the god of Underworld—“unless Sunny needs me. Then, I will do whatever is necessary to protect her.”
“Ethan—” I croak, preparing to beg him to stop.
“Are you asking me to do nothing even if you’re in danger?” He cuts me off, his voice as rough as gravel. “You cannot be so cruel.”
It would be cruel of me. I press my lips together to keep them from trembling. I can’t ask him to do something that I would never be able to do.
“I’ll stand back and keep my eyes shut.” He closes the distance between us. “But if you need me, you have to promise to ask for me. Please, Sunny.”
“I promise.” I nod, my heart bleeding for both of us.
“Thank you.” Ethan presses his forehead against mine, cradling the back of my head with his big, warm hand.
His unsteady sigh brushes against my lips, and I shift my weight to my toes. But before I can kiss him, he spins on his heels and joins Hailey and Gyun off to the side. It’s probably for the best because three somber-faced gods stand waiting for me.
I walk toward them, and the god of Heavens meets me halfway. “Are you able to summon the Yeoiju at will, child?”
“You mean like this?” I hold out my palm and float a plum-sized white orb above it.
“Not externally.” He shakes his head with a frown. “We cannot pool my life force outside of your body. It is much too dangerous. You need to collect it inside you before you fully absorb it.”
“Oh.” I curl my fingers over my palm and extinguish the white orb. Then I close my eyes and listen, until warmth gathers in my chest and my Yeoiju hums inside me. I meet his gaze again. “You mean like this.”
“Yes.” Something close to wonder replaces his frown. “Just like that.”
“W-will it hurt?” I whisper.
“More than you can imagine. But once I begin, I cannot stop until I have transferred all of my divine gi to you,” he says gravely. “If the transfer is interrupted, it will kill us both. If you die during the transfer, I will die as well. The only way for us to survive is to complete the transfer.”
“Well, we better complete it then,” I grit out.
He reaches toward me, but when I flinch, he snatches his hand back.
“No, please.” I shake my head and fist my hands. “I’m ready now.”