Chapter 12
Twelve
Light
Nothing like club business to bring my mind back to the present.
My bike engine roars beneath me, vibrating through my bones, loud enough to drown out every damn thought in my head.
The highway stretches ahead, long and endless, disappearing into the pink smear of a dying sunset.
It is the kind of open road that makes you feel like you could ride forever and never look back.
The Brutal Chains are riding tight today.
Two long lines of patched brothers eating up the miles, their cuts catching the light like battered flags of loyalty and blood.
Brick leads the way, his massive frame hunched forward, one hand casually resting on the handlebar, the other dangling loose like he owns the road.
Hook is a few bikes ahead of me, flipping off a passing truck for honking. Torch rides beside him, laughing at the display.
Pipe rides next to me, the steady rumble of his bike comforting in its familiarity.
Finally, bringing up the rear is Semi and Vinny.
Every patched member is here. Brick made it mandatory. The annual State Line Rally is tradition.
Old alliances, old stories, and more booze and bad decisions than anyone could count.
Normally, I would be itching to get there, itching to get wasted and lose myself in the noise.
Today, the only itch I have is a deep, gnawing ache under my skin.
Melissa andTyler.
It is the first night in two weeks I will not see them.
First night I will not hear Tyler's laugh or see the way Melissa's whole face lights up when she smiles, even when she tries to hide it.
Distance is good.
I need it.I am starting to feel things I have no damn business feeling.
She deserves better.
She deserves more.
The miles blur together.
We take back roads, winding through thick woods and past wide-open fields that smell like fresh rain and earth.
We slice through tiny towns with crooked gas stations and rusted-out barns, past battered highway signs full of bullet holes.
The farther we ride, the lighter I feel.
The wind tears at my cut and pulls the tension straight out of my body, peeling it away piece by piece.
On the bike, there are no past mistakes.
No worries about what could or should happen.
Just the road, the throttle, and the sound of freedom howling in my ears.
By the time we roll up on the rally grounds, the sun has disappeared completely, leaving the world bathed in the soft glow of fire pits and headlights.
The lot is packed with bikes from friendly clubs.
The Devil's Sons out of Crestfield.
The Iron Nomads from the next county over.
The Rabid Hounds, rough and loud but loyal.
Old friends slap each other on the back, trading half-insults and full laughs.
Coolers are popped open.Piles of meat smoke over open flames.
The air is thick with the smell of grease, leather, and burning wood.
Someone tosses a beer my way.
I catch it without thinking and crack it open, foam spilling over my knuckles.
Hook already has two beers in his hands, shouting something crude at Brick, who just laughs and flips him off without looking.
It is good.It is home.
But even in the middle of all the noise, the brotherhood, the firelight, my mind drifts.
I reach for my phone once before I stop myself and shove it back in my pocket.
I reach again twenty minutes later when the thought sneaks in that maybe Tyler is not feeling good, maybe Melissa needed help with something.
I curse under my breath, forcing myself to grab another beer instead and smile like everything is fine.
She is fine.They are both fine.
I tell myself that over and over, like if I say it enough times it will drown out the quiet fear twisting inside me.
I am Light.
I do not get attached.
I do not get whipped.
I do not start giving a shit about women I have no right to even touch.
And yet, no matter how many miles I put between us tonight,
Melissa and Tyler still feel closer to me than anyone else in this place.
And that thought scares the hell out of me more than any fight or prison sentence ever could.
I'm already downing my third beer when Brick slowly walks over to where I'm sitting at one of the picnic style benches that line the area.
"You good, Brother?" He asks as he slides into the seat opposite me.
"Yeah, just taking it all in. Betting on Torch finding something humiliating for our prospect to do." I laugh and take another swig of the beer.
Brick just tilts his head. He doesn't join me in the false laughter.
"Boy, I know you too well for that bullshit to work on me. Something is up. Both you and Semi are on different worlds tonight."
My eyes drift over to where Semi is standing. He's got a beer in his hand, but he's alone, just how I was seconds ago. I guess he must still be thinking about Claire.
"It's nothing I can't handle." I look back to Brick.
"Bullshit. You don't need to handle shit on your own. That's what the club is for. We do it all together. We're family, Light. I don't want you to forget that."
"I haven't. It's just not anything...I got it." I end.
"You sure?"
I nod hoping that it'll be enough for my president to drop it. It's not.
"So, how's that sweet little thing you've been seeing every night doing? She missing you already?" He smirks, and my mouth drops open. I knew the guys knew I'd seen Melissa a few times, but I had no idea that they knew I was going over there every night.
"I don't know. I haven't spoken to her today."
"Come on, you know better than that. Call her, let her know you're thinking about her."
"She's not my woman. I don't need to tell her I'm thinking about her." I bristle before straightening up a bit. I'm not used to hearing Brick talk like this. Ever since he got with Luna, it's like she's dulled his edge. I have no doubt he's still the same beast he was, but that side of him only comes out when needed.
"You're a dumb motherfucker. None of us have ever seen you cater to a woman like you cater to Melissa. You've never raced out to just go sit on someone's couch. This woman has you wrapped around her finger and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Denying it is only going to hurt the both of you. Be smart. Get the fuck over yourself." He knocks his knuckles on the table before standing up and walking away.
I didn't even have the chance to argue. Not that I can. He's right. I'm in deep.
***
The rally was good. Most of us wound up spending the night at some flea bag motel before we got on the road the next day.
Of course, thanks to the excessive drinking the club did last night, none of us were able to ride until well into nighttime. To make matters worse, the weather had taken a turn. When we set out to come home the winds had really begun to blow and by the time the compound was in the distance the rain had begun to fall.
All of BCMC are experienced riders. We took our time just to make sure no one wiped out, but we didn't make it inside until well past midnight.
It's two days now. Two days I haven't been able to see Melissa and Tyler. I'm not going to show up now in the middle of the night. I can wait.
Before I can even get to my room, I see Bea and Luna rush out of the back and beeline straight for Hook and Brick. They embrace like they've been apart for years. Both couple whispering and kissing each other. The love is strong.
So strong it pisses me off.
It takes a second for me to realize that I'm envious. I don't want what they have. Right?
I shake my head, cursing under my breath, before I turn and walk out of the compound.
The rain is coming down in sheets now. It feels good against my heated skin. I walk through the courtyard and into the backdoor of my shop. I don't think I'm going to be able to get any sleep right now, the least I can do is get some paperwork done.
I've had a few large clients in need of electrical work. Payments have already been made, and I need to set up for an equipment delivery for another one.
The rain pounds the roof like a thousand angry fists as I settle in behind my desk.
I click on the computer, trying to focus on the invoices in front of me, but the numbers swim in my vision.
My mind keeps drifting back to Melissa.
To the way my gut twists every time I picture them without me there.
The loud, frantic pounding at the front door rips me out of my haze.
I push up from my chair so fast it screeches against the floor.
It is almost two in the morning. No one should be here.
My boots thud heavy against the floor as I move toward the door.
For a second, I hesitate.
Then I yank it open.
Melissa stands there, soaked to the skin, her hair plastered to her face, her arms wrapped tight around her body.
Her eyes are wide and glassy, like she is not even seeing me, like she is barely holding it together.
My heart punches hard against my ribs.
"Jesus, Melissa," I mutter, yanking her inside without a second thought.
She stumbles a little, water pooling at her feet.
"I am sorry," she stammers. "I do not even know why I came. I should not be here. I just..."
"Hey," I cut her off, my voice softer than I have ever heard it come out. "It is okay. You are okay."
She keeps apologizing under her breath as I guide her toward the back room.
Every step she takes leaves little wet footprints behind her, like a trail of all the weight she is carrying.
As soon as we step into the bedroom, memories slam into me.
The last time we were back here. Who would have thought my over confidence would lead to this.
I grab a clean towel off a shelf and step closer to her.
She shivers as I start drying her off, carefully.
The towel glides over her arms, her back, the soaked fabric of her shirt.
Up close, I can see it clearer.
The dark circles under her eyes.
The hollow, exhausted set of her mouth.
The way her hands tremble even as she tries to hold them still.
I drop the towel over her shoulders and frame her face with my hands, forcing her to look at me.
"What happened?" I ask, voice rough and low. "Did someone come back? Did someone hurt you?"
She shakes her head, a tear slipping down her cheek.
"No. No one came back," she whispers.
But the way she says it, the broken way the words leave her lips, makes me feel even worse.
"Then what is it, Mel?" I press gently, brushing the wet strands of hair from her face. "Talk to me. Please."
For a second, she just stands there, trembling, struggling for words.
Then she crumbles, pressing her forehead against my chest like she cannot hold herself up anymore.
"It's Tyler," she chokes out. "He got sick again. Really sick."
I freeze, the words hitting harder than any punch ever could.
"He is in the hospital," she continues, sobs breaking free now. "His lungs got infected. They have him sedated. He is back on a breathing machine."
My knees damn near buckle.I pull her tighter against me, wrapping my arms around her small frame.
I wasn't there.
Instead, I was out drinking and laughing like nothing in the world could touch me.
Meanwhile, she was facing this nightmare alone.
"I should have been there," I mutter against her hair, guilt sinking deep into my chest. "I am so sorry, Mel."
She shakes her head again, but I barely register it.
All I can think about is Tyler lying in some sterile hospital bed, fighting for every breath, and Melissa drowning in it all by herself.
"I was there all yesterday and today. The doctor says they aren't taking him off sedation for a while. They basically kicked me out and told me to go home and get some sleep. I tried but it was so quiet. I keep trying to figure out what I did wrong. Keep trying to make this empty feeling go away. I just needed..." She stops and looks up at me. "I need you."
Every doubt I had in my head, all the warnings that I can't get involved with her, all of it disappears as soon as she says those words.
She says she needs me but I'm already hers.
"I'm here. I swear to you I am." I lean forward and kiss her cheeks. First one than the other. I kiss her eyes. Her forehead. Everywhere trying to erase the pain from her features. It's when my lips brush against hers that the electricity between us transforms into a full on raging fire.
I pull back for a second trying to gauge wether or not I crossed the line but instead of letting me go Melissa pulls me back against her. Her lips press against mine again. A little more pressure than the last but just enough to let me know she wants this too.
My hands slide up into her hair and I gently clench her wet strands between my fingers. Tipping her head back so I have better access to her mouth. Our lips move against each other perfectly. When she moans I slide my tongue into her mouth and taste her.
Sweet like peaches.
I tighten my hold on her, my body tensing and hardening as this beautiful woman moans and whimpers in my arms.
She runs her hands up my sides, under my shirt. Her fingertips caressing my skin before she brings them to the front to run them over my nipples.
I can't stop now. I'm lost.
A deep groan rumbles in my chest as she continues to tease and touch me. I want more. I want all of her right now. Dropping my lips from her soft mouth, I slide my tongue down her jaw and to her neck where I kiss and lick at the sensitive skin.
"Oh, yes." She moans and lets her head fall back farther giving me better access.
In a swift motion, I grab hold of her waist tightly and lift her from the ground, rushing over to the bed. We fall onto the satin sheets, her wet clothes leaving marks on the expensive linen. I don't give a damn.
At once as if we both realize this is really about to happen, our hands start to move in a flurry. She yanks at my clothes, pulling them over my head while I grab for her wet jeans and snatching them down her legs, only taking a second to pull off her shoes first.
Seconds later, we're both wrapped in each others limbs. Skin against skin, kissing and touching as if our lives depended on it.
Pushing her up on the bed, I lick my lips as I start to kiss a trail down her damp skin. My tongue swirling and tasting different parts of her. I'm not in a rush but I move fast. That is until I get down to her hips. Here I'm going to take my time.
"Light...Please." She begs, her hands fisted in my sheets and her chest heaving up and down with her breath.
"I know, beautiful. I know." I feel the same way she does. Fucking desperate.
I haven't been with anyone since I've been spending all my time with Melissa and Tyler. I'm backed up but I know Melissa is the only one to give me that relief.
Pulling her legs apart, I settle myself between them and nearly drool at the sight of her pretty pussy. It's trimmed and glistening wet. Not from the rain but from her desire for me.
I don't have the willpower to tease her for very long. I need a taste. Now.
Flicking my tongue out, I let the very tip run along the slit and her back instantly bows up off the bed. She's not getting away from me that easily. I clamp my hands together around her hips and hold her down while I go to work.
I swirl and flick my tongue against her folds. Spending time between her opening and her clit. Back and forth, sucking, nibbling, taking everything she has to give me. Her body trembles under mine and the sound of my name coming out of her mouth as she pants and whines in pleasure only makes me want to stay down here forever.
Fuck I can get used to this.
"Oh god, I'm close." Melissa whimpers out of breath.
She didn't have to tell me. I can feel her. It's like I already know her body even though this is the first time I'm having her.
She cries out, her whole body tightening under my mouth.
I keep going, pushing her higher, faster, until she shatters with a soft scream, her thighs clamping around my head.
I do not let up until I feel the last wave of her orgasm ripple through her.
Only then do I lift my head, my mouth wet with her, my chest heaving like I just ran a marathon.
I can't help but smile when look up at her.
She is wrecked.
Hair tangled across the pillows, cheeks flushed deep pink, chest rising and falling in rapid little gasps.
She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
And she is mine. At least for right now.
The need inside me roars to life.
I crawl up the bed, my hands gripping the sheets on either side of her body as I move.
Her eyes flutter open and she reaches for me, cupping my face between her small, trembling hands.
"Go slow," she whispers, her voice raw and vulnerable. "It has been years."
The weight of her words knocks the air right out of my lungs.
Years.
She has trusted no one. Given herself to no one.
And she is choosing me.
I nod, brushing a kiss across her forehead.
"I will take care of you, Mel. I promise."
I grip myself, stroking once, twice, trying to calm the raging pulse pounding through my body.
It's useless.
I want her too badly.I need her like I need my next breath.
I position myself at her entrance, feeling the heat of her.
With slow, careful pressure, I start to slide into her.
Her body grips me immediately, tight and hot and perfect.
I grit my teeth and hold still, giving her time to adjust.
"Jesus Christ," I groan, my forehead dropping to hers. "You feel so good, baby."
She wraps her legs around my waist, her nails digging into my back.
I move, just a little, rocking my hips forward an inch at a time.
She gasps but doesn't pull away.Instead, she clutches me tighter.
"You're doing so good," I murmur against her lips. "So fucking good for me."
Finally, I'm fully seated inside her and I almost lose it right then.
No woman has ever felt like this.No woman has ever felt like home.
I kiss her slow and deep, savoring the sweet little sounds she makes as I start to move.
Long, slow strokes at first, every pull of my body dragging a whimper from her throat.
Her hips lift to meet mine, her body trusting me, craving more.
I pull out almost all the way before pushing back in deep, swallowing her cries with my mouth.
We move together, a rhythm that feels natural, like we were made for this.
When I feel her getting close again, I shift, pulling her legs higher around my waist and changing the angle.
Her eyes fly open, dazed and full of heat.
"Light," she moans, her voice breaking.
"I got you," I whisper, thrusting deeper, faster, making sure every inch of her feels me.
She clings to me, her body shuddering under mine.
I kiss her jaw, her neck, her chest, anywhere I can reach, worshiping every inch of her.
I sit back on my knees, lifting her hips with me.
Her back arches, her breasts thrusting forward, and the sight alone nearly undoes me.
I grip her thighs and drive into her, deeper and harder now, feeling the tension coil in both of us.
"You are mine," I rasp, barely holding on. "Say it."
"Yours," she gasps, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes, and that is it.
I come hard, burying myself deep inside her, feeling her clench and pulse around me as she falls apart with me.
I collapse over her, breathing hard, both of us a tangled, sweaty mess on the sheets.
For a long time, neither of us moves.
I roll to the side, pulling her with me, wrapping my arms around her small body like she is the most precious thing in the world.
Melissa drifts off almost instantly, her breath evening out, her hand curled against my chest like she belongs there.
But I stay awake.
Eyes wide open, staring into the darkness.
Listening to the rain.
Holding her tighter.
This wasn't supposed to happen. None of it.
Not her coming to me in the middle of the night. Not the fact that she has become the first woman I ever fucked without a rubber. Not the instant addiction I'm already feeling take root in my soul. I promised myself that I wouldn't do this, not again. But I can't keep on denying this.
Tonight I fucked her like it meant something. Fucked her like I was in love.
That thought scares me more than anything ever could.