Chapter Twelve PAISLEY
Chapter Twelve
PAISLEY
My footsteps crunched on the gravel as I walked toward my car.
It was parked at the edge of the parking lot, which ran parallel to the lake.
I walked to the front of my car, stopping where the gravel met the grass.
There was a frost tonight, and the grass crunched under my boots.
I took a few steps farther and leaned my head back to look up at the stars glittering in the inky night.
They felt so close here as if I could reach up and touch them.
My breath misted in the air, and I breathed in a deep gulp of the crisp late autumn air.
Lowering my gaze, I looked out across the lake.
The water rippled under the shimmer of light cast from the lodge behind me.
There were houses scattered along the lake’s shores, their lights peeking through the trees.
I tried to place where Russell's house was, but I wasn't exactly sure.
Just thinking about the house sent a wash of heat through me and my thoughts spun to Russell.
I just couldn't seem to turn off my attraction to him.
It didn't matter that it wasn't sensible or that it annoyed the living hell out of me.
I could only hope it would wear off soon.
With one last look at the sky, I climbed in my car and drove home.
I turned the word “home” over in my thoughts.
I didn't really know where my home was. Once upon a time, I’d loved the small town where I grew up in Washington.
My hometown was in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains, beautiful and lush.
My dad was the county district attorney and proud of his work, while my mother loved her florist business and puttered in greenhouses all year long.
Growing up, my brother and I had been close even though he was two years older than me.
Aside from the common complaints about his teasing and occasionally being obnoxious, he was a good brother.
At least, he had been. It wasn't that he was a bad brother now, but I was tired of keeping his secrets. Secrets I'd stumbled across by accident. Secrets that had driven me to live anywhere but my small hometown. It was true that I wanted to travel and see more of the world. I loved being a firefighter, and Alaska was a clarion call in the distance that drew me. It was also true that I’d been impatient to get out of town once I knew my brother’s secrets and knew that he knew that I knew.
Too much knowledge tangled up between us, and all of it was a secret from our parents.
I still wasn't exactly sure how my brother had ended up in his position.
He'd partied hard in college, but I hadn't realized he'd started dealing designer drugs. He told me it was extremely lucrative, and he had a handle on it. He told me he wouldn't get in trouble. He swore up and down he wasn’t using himself. Oddly, I believed that detail, if only because he was somehow managing to do that, while also working as an accountant. He was always on top of things, and I’d never once seen him anything other than stone cold sober.
As I drove toward the only place I could call home right now, I shook my head.
He thought he had a handle on it, but he also felt the need to warn me about people.
What the fuck? I'd found out about the whole mess by accident. When my brother was out of town, I’d gone to check on his cat.
Some guys had shown up while I was there and conducted “business” while I hid in the bathroom.
Utterly confused, I'd gone to Ryder, and to his credit, he’d simply told me the truth.
Of course, only a week later, I was having dinner with my parents, and my dad mentioned that his office was looking into a drug ring in the area.
I’d felt sick to my stomach until I'd found this job and moved away.
So … home. That wasn't home anymore, and I didn't imagine it would be anytime soon. This was home for now, but it was new. Now, I had a roommate—or rather, not a roommate—who I’d stupidly kissed. Just as I pulled in to park in front of the house, my phone rang.
I wasn’t thinking and tapped the button on the dash to answer. “Hey, Paisley.” Ryder’s voice carried into my car. “How's it going?”
Obviously, my brother had found a way around the number block. “It's fine.” My stomach tightened because my brother rarely called lately just to chat. “Do you have a new warning for me?” I asked, figuring we might as well get through the difficult part of this conversation.
“No, why would you assume that?”
I rolled my eyes. “Because that's your life these days.”
My brother sighed. “Paisley, I'm sorry. I wish you didn't even know about this. You don't need to worry. I was honestly just calling to let you know that I wanted to plan something for Mom and Dad's anniversary.”
“Next month?”
“Yeah. It'll be their thirty-fifth anniversary. Do you want to come down for a visit?”
My chest felt tight, and tears stung the backs of my eyes. Visiting meant putting up a good front. “I'll have to see if I can travel for work,” I said, which was true. I was pretty sure Graham would give me a few days off even though I was new.
“Think about it. Even if you can't travel, let's plan something together.”
“Okay,” I managed.
“Love you, Pais.”
“I love you too.”
The line went quiet, and I turned my car off, sitting there for a few minutes while the sounds of the engine cooling ticked around me.
I felt spun tight inside, and I wanted to jump out of my own skin.
Restless, I climbed out of the car quickly and walked inside, completely forgetting to be careful about encountering Russell.
The door clicked shut behind me, and the archway into our shared kitchen was right in front of me.
Russell was standing in the kitchen with his back to me. Without a shirt. My mouth went dry.
He was reaching for something on the counter.
I watched the flex of his muscles in his back.
Dear God. He turned as I stood there, and I prayed my mouth snapped shut in time.
I swallowed as heat spun like fiery pinwheels through my body.
I blinked and couldn't seem to do anything other than remain frozen where I was.
Russell arched a brow, turning and resting his hips on the counter as he took a swallow from a bottle of beer.
As I had at the bar, I tracked the motion of his throat.
My eyes dipped when he lowered his hand, watching the subtle motion of the muscles in his forearm.
Every inch of him was delectable. He had a dusting of hair on his chest. My eyes dropped lower, tracking the defined contours and noting a small scar along his ribs.
I snapped to attention when he asked, “Get a good enough look?”
Well, all that did was send a hot jolt of anger through me, the anger spinning into the desire nearly electrifying my body. Lifting my chin, I replied, “Maybe.”
I was feeling contrary and unsettled about so many things that had nothing to do with Russell.
His eyes skated over my face, dipping down.
I was suddenly aware that my jacket hung open, and I was wearing a V-neck T-shirt and jeans with boots.
Nothing special, practically a uniform for me.
But my nipples tightened to an ache, and I knew they were probably visible pressing against the cotton.
I could feel the blazing heat of his gaze moving over me.
He was provoking me, and I knew it, but I couldn't turn away. We were caught in this magnetic dance. His eyes made their way back to mine at a leisurely pace.
“Why did you leave early?” I asked, surprising myself with my question.
He held my gaze for a moment, something flickering in his eyes before he replied, “For no particular reason.”
His reply annoyed me. I rolled my eyes. “Okay.” I turned to walk away, and then I heard him moving. His footsteps were slow and deliberate behind me. As if he had a thread attached to me, I turned around again.
“Going to bed?” he asked.
The man moved like a cat, smooth and quiet.
My mouth was still dry, and I swallowed.
I was hot all over, my skin prickling with awareness.
I was acutely aware of the slick arousal at my core.
There was that low tug in my belly, my body reacting to his instinctively.
The next thing I knew, he was right in front of me, and I was scrambling to think.
But thinking at this moment was the equivalent of trying to start a car with a dead battery.
It just didn't happen. Reason and rational thought didn't catch hold.
Instead, my senses were alive, busy absorbing the cacophony of sensation created by Russell being close to me without a shirt.
My nipples were so tight, they hurt. I could feel the fabric of my clothes on my skin, and I wanted to shake it off. The sensation was almost irritating.
“Can't stand being close?” he asked.
My one-word reply came out in a frayed breath. “What?”
“It's early,” he added when he stopped, way too freaking close to me.
I'd never been so aware of space in my life. By my measure, he was maybe a foot away. The potency of his presence radiated to me. I could feel the heat, sense his strength. And that magnetic pull to him had me consciously keeping my feet planted where they were already.
“So what?” I countered.
I had to clench my hands into fists because I wanted to touch him so badly.
He was close enough for me to catch his scent—musky, woodsy.
I felt wild and primal as if I was chasing a scent to get closer.
His skin was burnished bronze, and I wanted to trail my fingertips over the ridges of his abdomen.
I wanted to drag my tongue along the side of his neck.
I wanted to taste him as much as I wanted him.
I knew what it felt like to be in his arms—knew the feel of his strength and power—and I wanted it fiercely.
I wanted to drink it in, to forget everything.