Chapter 40 Leo
CHAPTER FORTY
Leo
Well, it’s here.
The Winter Solstice Lantern Walk.
Same as every year.
I should be excited about it. I mean, it’s the thing to do in this town… everyone shows up, walking through the frosty streets carrying lanterns that light up the longest night of the year. It’s a small-town tradition, a chance to pause and appreciate the season.
But I’m not feeling any of that.
Not tonight.
The cold air bites at my face as I stand on the edge of the crowd, hands shoved deep into the pockets of my coat.
The festive lights twinkle in the trees, the streets are lined with wreaths and garlands, and the smell of hot cocoa and fresh pine fills the air.
It’s nice, but it doesn’t stop the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, that’s for sure.
The streets are alive, with families bundled in thick scarves and mittens, laughing and chatting as they stroll down the street, lanterns swinging in their hands.
It’s the kind of evening that’s supposed to be full of warmth and good cheer, but all I feel is a knot in my chest. A constant reminder of the fight I had with Olivia, of the way things went south between us.
I didn’t expect things with her to get so complicated. It was supposed to be simple—just a fun time. But I got way too attached, and now… well, now I’ve messed it all up.
The lights on the trees flicker, and I hear the soft sound of bells jingling as someone walks by. It should be comforting, the sound of Christmas bells, but all I can think about is Olivia and what I said to her.
I overreacted. I let my protectiveness get the better of me. I was a fool.
I spot Ivy up ahead, with her giant family surrounding her.
I remember when she first arrived in town, when Jesse introduced us to everyone. No one knew then that she’d end up with three husbands and four children. It’s wild how much her life has changed.
Ivy waves as soon as she spots me, her usual entourage trailing behind her. Mitchell, Timothy, and Freddie all have their hands full with the kids, but they’re grinning.
They don’t have a care in the world. The sight of them, all wrapped up in the season, fills the air with this strange warmth.
I can’t help but feel a little envious of the ease with which they all seem to move through life. Especially Penny, who seems to be constantly laughing as she swings the lantern by her side.
“Leo!” Ivy calls, pulling me from my thoughts. “You good?”
I force a smile, shoving my hands deeper into my coat pockets. “Yeah, just… you know, taking it all in.”
She raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “You sure? You look like someone kicked your dog.”
“Just enjoying the lantern walk,” I mutter, doing my best to sound casual, but there’s a tightness in my chest that won’t go away.
“I hear things got a little…” Ivy sucks in a sharp breath. “Tense with Olivia again.”
I furrow my brow. Again, I don’t know how much she knows, so I nod.
“Leo, try to make it right with Liv. She’s going through a hard time.”
“I know.” The weight presses down on me even more. “I want to make it right.”
Penny calls out to Ivy, and the family starts walking with everyone else, blending in with the sea of lights. But before I can even consider joining them, someone else catches my attention.
“Leo, my man!”
“Silas Grant, it’s been a while.” I force a smile as he bypasses the street performer, singing acoustic Christmas Carols. “The ranch must be keeping you busy.”
He lets out a laugh before narrowing his eyes at me. “Hey, what’s going on with you? You’re looking like you’ve just had a lump of coal shoved in your stocking. Cold feet about the walk or just the company?”
I rub the back of my neck awkwardly. “I’m fine.”
“Sure, you are, big guy.” Silas steps in closer, nudging me with his elbow, and lowers his voice. “You know, I’m a master of sneaking out of stuff like this. We could head to the tavern now. I’ll grab us a drink, and you can avoid the crowds. I promise I won’t even tell anyone you chickened out.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “I’m good, man. Plus, I don’t think Boone and Sadie will let you get away.”
Silas rolls his eyes. “Boone’s little girl really does have me on a leash. Speaking of which…” He points ahead of himself. “She’s calling out to me. I got to go.”
“Yeah, have fun.”
I linger, watching them move down the street, their laughter fading into the crisp night, another close-knit group.
It's easy for them, isn't it? The easy joy of family, the effortless rhythm of celebration. Me? I'm still standing here, stuck in this endless loop of regret.
The world’s moving in slow motion while I’m rooted to this spot, frozen in time with this knot in my chest.
The lanterns flicker softly in a way that should be comforting, but only makes everything feel colder. The festive cheer that fills the air is a cruel joke. Every laugh, every warm glance, reminds me of what I’ve lost.
Or worse, what I never really had.
I push through the crowd, my heart pounding. I don’t know where I’m going, I need to keep moving. The night’s supposed to feel magical, but all I can think about is the distance that’s grown between Olivia and me.
Because of me.
Because of the argument we had.
But nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
I round a corner, and there they are.
Olivia. Jesse. And Karl, too.
All of them, together, without me.
My entire world slams to a halt. My breath catches in my chest, and for a split second, the air has been sucked out of me.
Olivia laughs, her face lighting up in that way I’ve missed. That genuine, carefree smile I used to get to see every day. The one that was just for me.
She’s standing between Jesse and Karl, her head tilted back in that way she does when she’s really enjoying herself. But it’s not just the laugh that hits me.
It’s the way Karl is standing so close to her. His hand was casually resting on her shoulder. It belongs there. She belongs there. I see the way she looks at him, her eyes soft, warm… affectionate.
And I feel it. That gut-wrenching realization that I’ve been stupid.
So stupid.
Why did I let my own temper get the better of me? Why did I have to act like such an asshole? Why did I have to fuck everything up so now I’m here and they are over there?
I watch them move through the crowd, a tight knot forming in my chest with every step they take.
Olivia’s laughter is a knife in my gut.
I’m an outsider. I want to look away, to pretend I didn’t see it, but I can’t.
I’m rooted to the spot, my feet glued to the frozen pavement as they walk further into the crowd. Every step they take away from me is a reminder of what I’ve lost.
But I can’t just let it go. I can’t stand here, paralyzed, watching her walk away, knowing I never even tried to make things right. I made a mess of everything, but I can’t let this be the end of it.
Not when there’s still something in me that wants to fight for her. Fight for us.
Make it right, Leo. You can still make it right.
As I continue to watch, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts, the procession leads them toward the town square, where the lantern walk reaches its grand finale.
The street opens up to a large, snow-covered plaza, where everyone gathers with their countless lanterns, forming a semi-circle around a towering bonfire at the center, its flames crackling against the night sky.
The trees lining the square are adorned with twinkling lights, their branches swaying gently in the evening breeze.
The lanterns, hundreds of them, are being lifted into the air by eager hands, floating slowly toward the heavens, rising like stars.
The soft hum of the crowd’s voices fills the space as they watch the lanterns ascend, the glow from each one adding to the sense of wonder.
And I can see it all clearly now. Olivia is standing there, holding a lantern with both hands, her eyes wide with the same awe as everyone else.
She’s caught in the magic of the moment, the flickering flames lighting her face in a way that almost makes her look ethereal.
Along with everyone else, she lifts her lantern high, and at the same time as Jesse and Karl, they let go.
Their glowing orbs rise slowly into the sky, joining the others, becoming part of that constellation of light. They float higher, higher, until they are little more than specks against the dark, their soft glow disappearing into the night.
The town square feels like it’s frozen in time, the lanterns floating up like wishes being carried on the wind. And as I watch them disappear into the stars, I feel a sharp ache in my chest.
A pang of loss. A pang of regret.
But I won’t let this be the end of it. Not tonight.
I back away, headed home, knowing what I need to do.
But with every step I take, I wonder if it’s too late.