Chapter 3 #3
Heidi and I are…well, there's no better way to put it than friends-with-benefits.
I met her at a LEO fundraiser up in Alpena a few years ago.
We were both there alone, neither of us knew anyone else, and we drank, slow-danced, and fell into bed together.
Once the weekend was over, we both assumed that was the end of things, but then I ended up following her back south toward home, and we discovered we lived less than thirty minutes apart.
Heidi was in a long, very abusive marriage, and once she got out of it and resettled in Miller's Landing, she vowed never to let another man into her heart or her life in any serious capacity.
But a girl has needs, and since my heart is too scarred and I'm too chickenshit to trust anyone, I'm no more on the market for a serious romantic partner than she is, and I too need a physical outlet.
So, after making it clear to each other that this is purely physical, born out of mutual need and respect, we established a not-relationship.
It's not a regular thing. But every once in a while—a couple times a month, usually—one of us will text the other, and I'll make the twenty-seven-minute drive from the station to her house, and we'll fool around.
We don't discuss our lives, we don't complain about our jobs or our exes.
We have a drink or two, turn on a murder show like Dateline, and have sex.
She falls asleep after, and I go home.
It's simple.
And no one knows about Heidi, just like I'm sure no one in her life knows about me.
It's not a "secret" per se, it's just…private.
No one else's business but mine.
I pull into Heid's driveway, kill the motor and lock my gunbelt in the center console with my radio clipped to my hip pocket. By the time I'm crunching through the fresh dusting of snow on her front walk, Heidi is holding open the storm door for me.
"Hiya, pal," she says, locking the door after me. "Been a while, huh?"
We don't greet with a hug or kiss.
She's forty-two, five-five in her bare feet, has jet black hair that's usually loose and cut straight across at her shoulders. She's a beautiful woman, Heidi. Stays fit, eats right. Tits a handful each, and a nice taut, firm little ass.
The second I'm inside the house and she's locked her front door, she shoves me back against the door and plants a kiss on me, hard and aggressive. Her hands fly over my shirt buttons, and then work at my belt and tear the shirt off and rip open my fly.
I'm momentarily stunned by the abrupt attack, but need quickly takes over.
She's wearing a baggy crewneck T-shirt, a men's XXL that hangs on her frame and slips off one shoulder; I know her well enough by now to know she's naked under the sweatshirt.
I shove the oversized garment up and tear it off of her, toss it aside.
Fill my hand with her soft, firm tits. She moans at my touch, grabs one of my hands and presses it between her thighs. Reaches inside my underwear to grasp my erection.
"Make me come, Cole," she whispers.
I twist and press her back to the door, pin her hands over her head with one hand and finger her clit with the other. Within seconds, she's heaving and writhing in my hold, gasping as she quakes, quivering as she comes apart for me.
I release her hands once she's stopped coming, and she sags, panting, eyes hot and wild.
And then she drops to her knees, gazing up at me, and yanks my uniform pants down, and my underwear.
I hold up the hem of my white undershirt as she grasps my cock in both hands and takes it into her mouth, and then down her throat.
"Jesus holy shit," I gasp, my eyes slamming shut as ecstasy rifles through me.
I hold on to her head with a loose grip as she takes her time going down on me. It's been a few weeks since I've seen her, and I've not taken care of myself since then either, so it’s been a while. which means I’m at the cusp of release all too soon.
I pull away before I come, but she wrestles with my hands, grinning up at me.
"Let me finish you off, Cole," she murmurs. "I had a dream about this last night, and I want it."
This is out of the ordinary. We have a pattern. But I'm throbbing and aching, and if she wants to, who am I to say no?
I cup the back of her head and push her back toward my cock. "If you want to."
“Mmmm," she hums. "I really, really do."
And without further discussion, she takes me into her mouth once more and has me gasping and groaning again within seconds, knees dipping, heart pounding, eyes closed…
"Oh fuck, god—yes, that's good. Fuck, that feels good." I hold her head as she works my length with her mouth, and I lose myself in the boil of impending orgasm.
She slows as I near the edge. Palms my ass in her hands and swallows around me.
Eyes closed, mind twisting as I feel the rush of release surging through me, I hear myself talking, but I have no control over my words.
"Oh fuck, god. Yes. Don't—fuck. Fuck. Don’t stop!"
"Mmm-mmm!" she hums the negative, reassuring me she has no intention of stopping.
"Oh fuck. I'm—oh god. Oh god. Fuck!" I grip her head in my hands and hold myself back from ramming my cock down her throat. "Lacey!"
I hear her let out a shocked, shrill sound that shifts into frantic gulping as I finish.
I sag as my orgasm floods through me and leaves me dizzy and weak-kneed.
A moment or two after I've finished coming, she falls heavily to her butt, staring up at me with a weirdly intense, and almost angry, expression on her face as she drags a wrist across her lips. "What the fuck, Mannix?"
Mannix? She never calls me that. I blink. "What? What the fuck, what?" I hold out my hands to help her up, but she bats them away and rises to her feet on her own.
She shoots me another even dirtier look, snagging her sweatshirt off the floor and yanking it on. "I know this is casual between us, Cole, but that's some bullshit."
"What are you talking about, Heidi?"
"Oh, now you know my name."
Um, fuck?
"Know your name?" I ask, a sour rush of nauseated guilt hitting me as I realize what must've happened.
“Yeah, my fucking name: Heidi." She searches my face. "You don't even realize what you did, do you?"
I shrug, shake my head. "I'm starting to get an inkling, but I’m deducing from your reaction."
"Well, I just have one question for you, pal." She keeps her eyes on my face, scrutinizing my reaction. "Who the hell is Lacey?"
"Shit."
She holds up a hand to forestall my answer. "I know, we're not exclusive. We're not dating. I have no right to demand anything from you or to be jealous. And I'm not. But you said someone else's name while I was sucking your cock, Cole. I'm just not sure what to do or where to go from here."
I pull up my underwear and trousers, button and zip, pace away from her.
"Fuck me. Heidi, I'm sorry. Truly. I'm really, really fucking sorry.
" I cover my face with both hands, shaking my head.
"Jesus, I can't believe that happened. What the fuck?
" I feel my heart crackling and twisting—I'm wracked with guilt, anger, and confusion.
"I…I'll go. I should go." I'm halfway out the door before she catches my arm and pulls me back in.
"Wait, wait, wait. Cole, just…just wait.
" She sighs, scrapes a hand through her hair.
"Just go sit. Let's do the really weird thing and talk about this, okay?
" She goes into the kitchen and opens the fridge, bending over at the waist to grab a couple beers from the crisper drawer; the deep bend hikes the hem of her sweatshirt up, causing her tight little ass to play peekaboo. For once, I look away.
I sit in the corner of the couch and take the beer from her—she sits next to me, facing me, cross-legged with a throw pillow over her lap. "Heidi, again, I'm sorry."
She gives me a sad smile. "You can stop apologizing, Cole.
I am more than a little pissed, but mainly just shocked.
We both know what this is. I'm just more confused than anything.
We've obviously never discussed anything super deep or personal, but you don’t develop a situationship like this without a reason.
I guess I'm just curious as to why you said that name now, after we've been sleeping together fairly regularly for what, two-and-a-half years? Three?"
I sip, swallow, and sigh. "Lacey is my ex. It was…bad, and painful, and the reason I'm…the way I am." I scrub my face. "She showed up in town recently and…" I shake my head, shrug. "It threw me for a loop, I guess."
"How recent of an ex are we talking?"
Embarrassment is acidic in my gut. "Not…not recent. I just…"
She gives me a sympathetic look. "Cole, I'm the last person on earth who'll judge you for anything. I'd like to think we're at least friends."
"Friends who have sex," I point out. "And we don’t talk about personal stuff."
"That ship sailed when you said your ex's name while you were coming down my throat, babe." She grins, patting my thigh. "Relax, big boy. I'm not mad anymore, I promise."
"You have every right to be, though. I feel like shit about it, Heidi."
She pats my thigh again. "Because you're a good man, Charlie Brown. Would it help if I said I forgive you?"
"A little."
"Then I forgive you. Now. Spill."
"She's my ex from high school," I admit. "Saying that out loud…it sounds pathetic that I'm still fucked in the head about it."
"First love can be a real doozy," Heid says. "I married mine. What a colossal fuckup that was. Obviously."