Chapter One
“Gimme that baby.”
My head snapped up from watching my step as I entered the dimly lit bar. There he was, holding his arms out, that one-eyed squint on his face that meant he’d been drinking.
Athena, my six-week-old baby, burbled and flapped her arms.
“Hey, Mason.” I frowned, hating the heat in my cheeks. “Aren’t you a little tipsy to be holding my baby?”
He put his hands on his hips and pursed his lips. “No, Lauren, I’m fine.”
I’d always thought he was fine—a dark-haired muscular firefighter and way too attractive for me. That was beside the point. “Stand on one foot and touch your nose.”
Sticking out his tongue and scrunching up his face, he did, then jumped around in a spin. He stopped in front of me and held open his arms, squatting down and grinning. “Come to Mason, baby girl.”
Athena bounced, apparently on board with the plan—and I did have to pee. Would my bladder ever recover from giving birth six weeks before? “Okay. If anything happens, you’re dead.”
He clicked his tongue at me, opening his mouth and frowning like an annoyed teenager. “Relax, Mama.”
Our bodies were briefly sandwiched together, with my baby between us. He always smelled a little smokey, like he’d been standing next to a campfire, overlaid with cedar and coffee. I glanced up and our eyes caught. Heat unfurled inside me, sudden and fierce.
Guilt stabbed me. I looked away. Mason was in a…something with a friend of mine, Phoebe. They’d started dating at a bachelor auction about a month ago. Not to mention, technically, I was still married. I took a step back and bumped into the wall.
Mason cleared his throat, then pretended to stagger under Athena’s weight. “Dang, girl,” he said, holding up my squealing baby in front of his face. “Good job eatin’.”
My best friend Raven chuckled outside. I turned and held the door open for her and my brother, Beau. It had been a couple of weeks since Beau and Raven had fought off her stalker—a former neighbor of Raven’s who had become obsessed with her. My brother was still using crutches as the slash on his thigh healed.
“We made it,” Raven said, hitching up my diaper bag that she’d insisted on carrying. “Has Dad blacked out yet?” She was Mason’s half sister.
The Browns, Mason and Raven’s clan, were a large family that sprawled all over the county. We were at the bar that afternoon, closed to anyone but party attendees, to celebrate their father’s birthday. I was along because Raven had wanted me to be—and so that she’d ease up on pointing out what a hermit I was. It was true and I wasn’t sorry.
Okay, and maybe I’d wanted to see Mason.
He paused from making faces at Athena. “No, but he’s on the train there.”
“Come on, babe,” Beau said. “Let’s order burgers and say hi.”
Mason smiled at me—just a slight lift of the corners of his mouth. I veered off to the bathroom, trying to pretend like my heart wasn’t beating too fast. Mason Brown, my brother’s best friend, had been the secret crush of my teenage years. Like a fuse burning on a mystery firework, you never knew if you were going to get a smoke bomb or a pop that would blow off your finger. Despite that, or maybe because of it, he was deceptively addicting.
Hot water ran over my dry red hands with the nails cut short as I finished up in the bathroom. I glanced in the mirror at the ragged sleep-deprived version of myself I’d lived in for a while. It was pointless to think there might be something happening between Mason and me. He was the kind of darkly handsome Italian stallion that could be on television—funny and full of energy. I was a washed-out too pale blonde with a big nose and a long chin. Lately, I had eyes I didn’t want to look into. I’m imagining things with him.
I walked into the party and passed Mason and Raven’s father clapping Beau on the back, leaning forward and thanking him for protecting Raven. Beau had put his body between Raven and the knife-wielding stalker—and nearly died. My chest tightened. I still could hardly believe it had all happened.
There were some distantly familiar faces in the room but not anyone I could name. I rushed across to sit at Raven’s table.
Raven bent toward me, her eyes wide open. “My older half sister hugged me,” she hissed. “I thought she hated me.”
“Why would anyone hate you?” I raised my eyebrows. Raven actually liked people and she smiled.
She twisted her bracelets around on her wrist. “Ancient history—my birth, while Dad was still married to their mom. Anyway.” She inhaled. “I’m shook. Almost getting killed by a stalker has a few upsides.”
Our server came by and we put in orders. I tried to resist getting fries because my body was still a lumpy overused pillow after the pregnancy. But salty greasy things made me feel better.
“So.” Raven stirred her coke with a straw. “Did you get the paperwork done?”
I nodded. “Petition for divorce is filed. Three-hundred-eight dollars—I’d like to sue my soon-to-be ex and make him pay it.”
“At least you have a free lawyer.”
My father practiced and ran a law firm. “He’s angrier than I am, sometimes. Probably because he’s sick of living with me and a newborn.” My eyes found Athena, cradled in Mason’s arms across the room.
Raven elbowed me. “Your dad loves you and Athena. You don’t need to rush out of there.”
It was a tired conversation. Being a burden on my parents was like an itch under my skin. Some days I looked at apartments, even hotel rooms. I wanted to give us all a break—and have a chance to cry without anyone frowning at me. Except I stopped before I’d even really started. It was the beginning of winter. I was barely getting by with help from my mom, Raven, and an occasional babysitter. And you thought you’d be good at mothering. Ha.
“Derek’s on leave.” My dear husband, who I hadn’t seen in eight months. “He’s coming to meet the baby next week.”
“Right.” Raven scooted over to make room for Beau as he hobbled over. “Let me know and I’ll try to be there.”
Beau sank down onto the chair next to Raven and put his arm around her shoulders. She flashed one of her dimply smiles at him. They were so cute together I wanted to shield my eyes.
“Had a moment with your dad.” Beau grinned cockily at Raven. “I have his blessing for whatever I choose to do with you.”
Raven rolled her eyes. “Maybe he’ll remember to text me about it.”
I stood up and went to Mason, who stood in front of the old jukebox. Athena opened her mouth when she saw me and waved an arm—still not a real smile from her yet. Mimicking my sad face.
“Hey.” I tucked hair behind my ears. “Ready for a break?”
“Not a chance.” His hair curled and sprung out from under his cap. “She need a bottle? I want to feed her.”
Crossing my arms, I leaned on the jukebox. Mason dressed like he was about to head into the woods and rough it for a couple weeks. His red flannel shirt was rumpled, missing a button, and partially tucked into his baggy carpenter jeans. A ragged old trucker hat, on backward, covered his thick dark hair, grown out enough to show a wave. He was a wild country boy who definitely didn’t belong with a mousey bookworm like me. Why did seeing him always make my pulse pick up?
“It’s a little early but I have one ready.”
He flashed his teeth at me. “Let’s go.”
I followed him to the table next to Raven’s. He held Athena confidently, supporting her head and spine, staring down at her with a grin on his face.
He snatched the bottle out of my hands and coaxed the nipple into Athena’s mouth. “Look at that good baby,” he cooed.
I sat down next to him. He’d always liked teasing me in the past but lately there was a new vibe. Since his divorce, he seemed…overly familiar. No doubt because he drank too much. It was like he knew I hated being embarrassed and couldn’t help himself. Why was I so drawn to him? Maybe you just want easy sex.
“Are you close with your cousin Tiffany?” I asked, reluctantly. All day I’d been back and forth in my head, not sure I would say something to him. Raven wasn’t really connected to that part of her family.
“Tiff?” He sniffed. “Not really. Why?”
I stared down at my hands, worried about dropping Mason into a pit he couldn’t crawl out of—or of giving him grief he couldn’t do anything about. There’s a lot of that for teachers. Not to mention I was risking my own reputation, and my mother’s, by telling him.
“Spit it out.” Mason put Athena over his shoulder and patted her back. “If it’s about her kid, I won’t run my mouth.”
I nodded. “He’ll be in my class when I go back. The teachers and staff are worried about him. He’s headed for foster care. Soon.”
Mason stiffened. His narrowed eyes met mine—all the warmth gone. He handed me Athena. “Seriously? A bunch of interfering teachers and overstepping government are going to take a kid away from his mother? F—” He swallowed. “Anybody try talking to her family? No. Too freaking simple.”
My teeth clenched. Wow . Okay, screw him and his ignorant assumptions about teachers. “Uh, shoot the messenger why don’t you. So typical.”
“Why the hell do people at that school have to make trouble for a single mom? So what if she ain’t perfect.”
“If I think a child is being harmed, I call CPS. How the hell do you argue with that?” I started scooting down the bench seat, my blood boiling, the diaper bag clunking against the table as I dragged it. “You don’t know anything about being a teacher.”
Mason huffed and went the other way.