Chapter 29
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
NOVA
I’m not sure why, but my back stiffens as Chaney ahems. There is a different tone about it than what’s her normal clearing of the throat. My eyes snap up to her and then travel to her sister who’s as white as a sheet.
“Something wrong?” I ask, clutching the photograph to my chest and leaning back so I have both of them within my line of sight.
“We wanted to discuss something with you, but now that it’s time, I’m not sure how to say it,” Chaney admits.
“You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?” I probe, masking my face so they don’t see the worry on it.
“Nothing you say to me is wrong or will be taken as a slight. We’re family, ladies.
That means we have each other’s backs no matter what.
Just say what’s on your mind, don’t sit and analyze it, that’ll mess with your head.
Trust me, I know that from my experiences. ”
“We want to be with you,” Chaney rushes out, declaring it as her—their truth.
My brows pinch together as I tell her, “You are with me.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “Not like that. Not in a platonic way.”
My head snaps up and my eyes laser in on her as the impact of what she just said seeps in. “You what now?”
“We love you, Nova. We’ve both fallen head over heels in love with you. Not in a brotherly way, in a way that means we want you to be ours forever,” Chaney clarifies.
“Both of you?” I question, swiveling my head on my neck and zeroing in on Freyja.
She’s shifting on her feet but her eyes are steadily glued to mine as she bashfully nods her head.
“Freyja?” She’s the one I’m most concerned about in this proposition.
She tends to follow her sister’s lead whether it’s something she truly wants to do or not.
“We’ve discussed it at length, Nova. We admitted to each other that we both see a life with you. You’re not only our hero, but you’re our lifeline. Our hearts beat for you,” Freyja sheepishly says. “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong.”
“What am I thinking, Freyja?” I ask, praying that she’s not a mindreader because I don’t want her to know everything I’m feeling. I don’t want my domineering thoughts and nature to send them running for the hills.
Secretly, I’ve been seething with the directions my thoughts have gone.
Picturing the day when they’re ready to move out and start living their lives without me in it, dating, and finding their happily-ever-afters makes me positively murderous.
These fictionalized, future men have had me up late at night, meticulously cleaning my guns and sharpening my knives—that’s how much I despise the thought of any man, that isn’t me, touching them.
“That we feel this way about you because we haven’t been around many other men other than you.
And that isn’t true, Nova,” Freyja declares.
“We’ve been around your brothers, too, and none of them have sparked any interest for us.
They make us feel safe, but they don’t make our knees weak, our hearts don’t beat rapidly in our chest for them, and–”
“And,” I prompt.
Chaney glances over at her sister and sees how she’s struggling to spit out the words so she continues her sister’s train of thought, only putting her own spin on it.
“They don’t make us want to bed them, Nova.
We’re as dry down below as the Sahara Desert for anybody other than you. You’re the only man we want that way.”
The words escape my lips before I can call them back.
“They better not,” I growl, my chest rumbling from the strength of my inner caveman as he contemplates my brothers coming anywhere near my girls in a sexual way.
I’d rip all their heads off their necks and slingshot them into Neverland before burning their bodies into ashes.
“Do you want us, Nova?” Chaney asks, both of the girls staring at me, their eyes pleading for me to agree to their proposal.
I inhale deeply before releasing it. I don’t know how to express my concerns in a way that they’ll understand or won’t offend them. “That’s not what’s in question here. I want you in every way a man wants a woman. I want to make that clear.”
“But you have issues with claiming the both of us, don’t you?
” Freyja inquires. Her head hangs as tears leak from her eyes, her cheeks pinken as shame coats her skin.
“You don’t want us both. I know I’m not worthy of you, Nova.
I’m not woman enough. I understand if you only want Chaney. Just… just don’t make me leave.”
“Look at me, Freyja, and listen to what I am about to say and let it sink in before you reply.” As her head lifts, she swipes away the fallen tears but her eyes keep the misty sheen over her irises as she does as I requested.
“I will never choose between the two of you. There's no choice to be made. I feel as deeply for the two of you as you do me. The question is, how do we make it work? I’ve taken two women to bed before, it’s how I prefer it, it’s my kink, but it doesn’t feel right having you both with me.
Y’all share blood, you’re sisters, I don’t want anything coming between that bond, including me. ”
“We’re all going to need to adjust, Nova.
We’re aware of that,” Chaney insists. “And you’re right, we don’t want to share a bed with you at the same time unless it’s because we’re sleeping.
We’re broken and are well aware of our shortcomings, but together, we make a whole woman who can give you everything you want and need. ”
“You’re not broken,” I deny. “Don’t ever say that about yourselves again.
And you’re whole women, each of you is an entire package on your own.
You’re both sexy and tempting. I don’t like to hear shit like that, it’s demeaning to you both.
And I can deal with you individually when it comes to activities in the bedroom, just because it’s my normal go-to, doesn’t mean I need it to survive and deal.
I think the reason I’ve done things like that in the past is because it’d prevent any form of attachment.
” Then I think of something I want them to learn from me instead of overhearing from one of my brothers, so I include it in my justification of why I am how I am.
“It’s also how I earned my road name, because I never take less than two women at the same time.
I’m not sure if that makes any sense to you or not, or if you can understand why I did what I did, but it’s how I did things so the women I was with didn’t get any ideas that there was a future for us after our romp.
Before you two entered my life, I had absolutely no interest in settling down with one woman, let alone two.
But like I said before, you’re both tempting and I’m having a hard time coming up with valid reasons why we shouldn’t do this.
I’m a selfish bastard who wants you both, but how is that fair to y’all?
You’ll be sharing me with one another, I’m getting the better end of this deal if you were to ask me. ”
“We decide what’s fair to us and what’s not, Nova,” Freyja asserts. “We’ve thought long and hard about this, like I told you earlier. This wasn’t a decision made in the heat of the moment, we made a pro and cons list and worked through all of the downsides. We’re in this for the long haul.”
“I want this. I really do, but I need some time to think it over and consider all of the logistics and probabilities. Can I do that without offending you girls and y’all thinking this is a no from me?” I request.
“Yes,” Chaney answers.
“But that doesn’t mean we’re giving up or going to make it easy on you,” Freyja tacks on to Chaney’s answer of yes.
“Wouldn’t think anything less, because I may be unintentionally doing the same now that I know where you two stand,” I admit.