Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHARLIE
W here the fuck did that come from?
I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling, my chest heaving from round… I didn’t even know. I’d lost count. My mind spun as I tried to make sense of the unexpected turn of the night. And I didn’t mean the fact we were now friends with benefits.
I’d never wanted kids, and the thought of going bare inside a woman had always freaked me out. Yeah, I’d expected it to feel incredible, but that?
I’d do it again. Right now if she’d let me.
Something about removing that fear had unlocked a kink I didn’t know I had.
Emma’s head rested on my chest, her hair fanned out across my skin like silk. I couldn’t stop myself from tracing lazy patterns on her bare shoulder.
After the last time, we’d showered and I’d finally let the spent cum seep out of her. Watching it run down her leg and into the drain had made me want to scoop her up and start all over.
It made no sense.
She was already pregnant. I couldn’t put another baby in her, so why was I now fixated on it?
I kept waiting for her to question it, but she never did. Just chuckled each time I propped her hips up and stopped my cum from escaping. She definitely hadn’t seemed put off, so maybe she liked it too.
“I have to say, I’m impressed.”
I tensed. “About what?”
“For someone who’s been out of practice for so long, you certainly haven’t lost your touch.”
I laughed, some of the tension draining from me. “Are you implying that I could ever be rusty in the bedroom?”
She propped herself up on an elbow, her eyes dancing with mischief. I stared at her, drinking in the sight of her flushed cheeks, her tousled hair, the sparkle in her eyes. She’d never looked more beautiful, and the knowledge that I was the cause of that glow sent a surge of male pride through me.
“Well, you did say it had been a while. I was half expecting you to fumble around like a teenager at prom.”
“I’ll have you know I’m always on top form,” I said, pulling her closer. “Especially when it comes to a particular beautiful, pregnant woman who drives me crazy.”
She burst out laughing, the sound filling the room and warming me from the inside out. Fuck, I loved her laugh. I made a mental note to make her laugh like that as often as possible.
“Lucky me, then.”
I pressed a kiss to her forehead, inhaling the scent of her shampoo, mixed with the lingering aroma of our passion. “No, I’m the lucky one.”
I grinned, unable to resist pulling her closer for a kiss. When we parted, I found myself lost in her eyes. How had this happened? How had this woman snuck past all my defences and made me want more than just a casual arrangement?
“So... what happens now?” She snuggled closer to me, her tone softening.
The question hung in the air between us, laden with possibility and a hint of uncertainty. “Now,” I said slowly, choosing my words with care, “we figure out how to make this work. Because I don't want to go back to pretending I’m not incredibly attracted to you.”
She tensed in my arms. “Are you sure? I mean, this is a lot to take on. A baby, a... whatever this is... it’s not exactly the carefree bachelor life you’re used to.”
I tilted her chin up, meeting her gaze with a smile. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
She bit her lip, a flicker of vulnerability passing across her face. “Really?”
“I want you. I want to be there for our baby. I want us to figure this out together.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, and for a moment, I feared I’d said too much too soon. But then she smiled, a radiant, beautiful smile that took my breath away.
“I want that too,” she whispered. “So much.”
I pulled her in for a kiss, pouring all my emotions into it. When we broke apart, both breathless, I rested my forehead against hers.
“It’s not going to be easy,” I whispered. “We're both stubborn and set in our ways. And we’re going to need to figure out how this whole parenting thing works, as well as what our arrangement looks like with a baby in the mix.” I lifted a hand and caressed her cheek. “But I’m willing to put in the work if you are.”
Emma’s smile grew, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I am, but I’m still scared.”
My hand stilled. “Scared of what?”
What could she possibly be afraid of? Didn’t she know she had me wrapped around her little finger?
She took a deep breath, her gaze dropping to my chest. “Afraid that you’re only doing this out of a sense of duty. That you wanted me but not the baby. That I was destroying your life.” She grimaced. “Then you started avoiding me, and I worried you wanted the baby and not me.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. How could she think that? Had I really been so closed off, so guarded, that she couldn’t see how much she meant to me? How much they both meant to me?
“Look at me,” I said, my voice hoarse with emotion. When she raised her eyes to meet mine, I continued, pouring every ounce of sincerity I possessed into my words. “I want you and our baby. You’re not destroying my life, you’re making it better. Fuller. More meaningful than I ever thought possible. Before you, my life was all about the next big deal, the next... whatever. But now? Now I have something real to look forward to. Something that matters.”
A tear slipped down her cheek, and I brushed it away.
“I’ve been attracted to you since that night at the wedding. The baby... it just gave me a chance to realise how much I want this, want us to try and make something work.”
“Oh, Charlie.” Her lip trembled, and she buried her face in my chest.
I held her close, stroking her back as she shook against me, muttering apologises about baby hormones while she cried. The vulnerability of the moment struck me. It was petrifying, laying my heart bare. But it also felt incredibly right.
“I’m scared too, you know,” I murmured into her hair, the confession slipping out before I could stop it. “I’ve never done anything like this before. And being a father... it terrifies me. What if I’m no good at it? What if I turn out like my old man?”
The fear that had been lurking in the back of my mind since I found out about the baby bubbled to the surface. But I forced myself to continue. “It also excites me. Because it’s with you. You’re going to be an incredible mother. If I fuck up, you’ll be there to set me straight. And somehow, that makes all the difference.”
She lifted her head, her eyes red-rimmed but full of love. The sight of it stole my breath.
“We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?” she said with a watery chuckle. “Both scared out of our minds but willing to jump in anyway.”
I laughed, the tension breaking. “That’s what makes us perfect for each other. Two damaged halves make a whole.”
Emma rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Fairly sure that’s not what the saying means.”
“Ah, but it suits my purposes so I’m rolling with it.” I shrugged, my amusement draining. “My old man was the worst role model and I’m going to make mistakes, but I hope,” I caressed her cheek, brushing away a tear, “we can give each other a little grace to learn from them.”
“Okay. I can do that.” She bit her lip, her curious gaze fixed on me. “Did he hurt you?” Anger flickered in her gaze and I fell a little harder for her.
“Not physically, no.” I smiled at her, brushing my thumb across the lines of anger furrowing her brow. “He cheated on my mother, and started throwing it in her face. He said horrible things to both of us. I’d never thought of him as a great dad before, but watching how he treated my mother and by extension me…” I shrugged. “I don’t know, it just never felt like he wanted me, like in his mind he’d been trapped in a situation that had destroyed his life and he resented us.”
I blew out a breath, willing away the pressure that always developed in my throat when I talked about him, to go away.
“Charlie,” Emma whispered, her voice hoarse. “That’s awful.”
“It’s in the past, love.” I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her tighter against me. “Until you, I didn’t realise he’d affected me so much, but I’m working on it, okay?” I smoothed her hair back.
“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.”
“It was a long time ago.” I shrugged, trying to play it off. “But it’s part of why I was so hesitant about all this at first. I don’t want to be like him.”
“You’re not,” she said, tone fierce. She smiled. “Come on, Hollywood Hotshot, you’re nothing like him. You’ve been here for me, for us, from the beginning. You could have paid me off and turned your back on us. You didn’t. Instead, you cooked for me, bought me gifts, got me the best doctors, read every book you could get your hands on. That’s more than he would have ever done.”
Her words wrapped around me like a warm blanket. “Thank you,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple.
We lay in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the closeness, the intimacy of the moment. My hand drifted to rest on her swollen belly. Our child. The thought still boggled my mind, fuelled a warmth inside of me that I couldn’t attribute to anything other than joy.
“Have you thought about names for the baby?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.
Emma hummed thoughtfully. “I’ve always liked the name Prue for a girl.”
“Really?” My breath caught, happy memories flooding back for once. “That was my grandmother’s name. She practically raised me.”
When my father was doing fuck knows what and my mother had sunk into yet another of her depressive episodes, Nan was the only consistent figure in my life.
Her eyes widened in surprise. “What a coincidence.”
“I’d say.” A smile tugged at my lips as I thought about my grandmother. “She was amazing. Strong, kind, with a wicked sense of humour that could cut through any bullshit. Always had time to listen, no matter how busy she was. She’s the one who taught me to cook, who came to all my hockey games, who encouraged me to be better every day. After my dad left, she moved in with us to help my mom.”
“She sounds wonderful.”
“She was. I think she would have loved you.” I grinned. “Probably would have told me I was punching above my weight class.”
Emma smiled, the gesture gentle but sad at once. “I wish I could have met her.”
“Me too.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “But maybe we can honour her memory by giving our daughter her name. If it’s a girl, of course.”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
I stared at Emma, my mind conjuring an image of a little girl with her features and my eyes. The thought filled my chest with warmth, a feeling I couldn’t quite name but knew I wanted to hold onto forever.
“What about for a boy?” Emma asked a few moments later.
“Well, we’re definitely not naming him after my father.”
She snorted. “Agreed. And my dad’s name was Herbert, so that’s out too.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Yeah, let’s not saddle the poor kid with that. What about... Liam?”
“Why Liam?”
“I just like the sound of it.” I toyed with her hair, circling it around my finger and releasing it to start all over again. I couldn’t stop touching her now I was allowed to. “It means ‘resolute protection’. I like the idea of our son being strong, protective.”
A slow smile spread across Emma’s face. “I like it.”
Then I remembered my conversation with Jesse and groaned.
“What is it?” She laughed, propping herself up again to stare into my eyes.
“You’re meeting my friends in a few weeks.” I sighed. “So you should probably be prepared for the song and dance they’ll pull trying to get you to agree to using one of their names in some way.”
“They wouldn’t?” she asked.
“Oh you think so?” My brows arched. “Jesse’s already convinced he has dibs on the middle name. He’s been texting me baby name suggestions for weeks.”
Emma’s eyes widened, a mix of amusement and disbelief dancing across her face. “You’re kidding.”
I shook my head, chuckling. “I wish I was. He’s even offered to babysit for a month straight if we name the kid after him.” I winced, considering how traumatised our baby would be after a night with his wild triplets.
I hadn’t even told Emma about his offer for us to babysit for practice. She’d agree without thinking, and I’d seen those kids when they thought their parents weren’t looking. The memories alone made me shudder.
“And don’t get me started on Lukas. He’s threatened to teach him or her German swear words if we don’t at least consider Lukas as a middle name.”
She laughed. “I’m sure they’re not serious.” Her amusement trailed off. “Right?”
“I’ll let you be the judge of that when you meet them.” I grinned, pulling her back down to tuck into my side. “They’re a handful, but they’re good people. They’ll love you.”
“Well, they’ll have to get in line.” She nestled into my side, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on my chest. “Lila would be pissed if she didn’t get a look in on the name game.”
I groaned. “Great, now we’ll have a bidding war on our hands. Maybe we should just give the kid five middle names and be done with it.”
Emma swatted my chest lightly. “Our child is not going to need a separate page for their full name on official documents.”
Our child.
The words sent a thrill through me. I glanced down at her, her head resting on my chest, her body curved against mine, and I was struck by how right this felt. How comfortable. It was a feeling I’d never experienced with any other woman.
In that moment, the reality of what I’d said earlier hit me full force. I meant every word about wanting to explore this with her, about being there for her and the baby. But the depth of my feelings caught me off guard. The realisation should have terrified me. In the past, it would have sent me running for the hills.
But with Emma? Talking about our future, our child... it filled me with a joy I’d never known before.
That didn’t mean I wasn’t worried or scared. The thought of being responsible for another human life, of opening myself up to the possibility of heartbreak... it was downright terrifying.
But for the first time in my life, the potential reward far outweighed the risk. Still, I knew I couldn’t tell her the full extent of my feelings. Not yet. Friends with benefits was a start. It would keep her satisfied and only me in her bed. I’d have to be patient if I wanted more.
There was, however, one thing eating at me still.
“So are we just going to pretend that I didn’t turn into a caveman before?” I asked, unable to keep my silence any longer.
Her lips curved into a teasing smile. “Oh, your newfound obsession with making sure not a drop of cum escapes?”
Heat crept up my neck, but I couldn’t deny it. “Yeah, that.”
She laughed, the sound warm and free from judgement. “I think someone’s discovered a breeding kink.”
I groaned, covering my face with my hand. “That sounds so…”
“Hot?” Her voice dropped, turning hoarse and sultry.
I peeked at her through my fingers. “You’re not freaked out?”
“Not at all.” She shook her head, a small smile tugged at her lips. “Actually, I found it sexy. The way you looked at me, the intensity in your eyes... it was a huge turn-on.”
Relief washed over me, followed quickly by a renewed spark of desire. “Oh really?”
“Really.” She trailed her fingers down my chest. “And it’s not like you can get me any more pregnant right now. So why not enjoy it?”
I caught her hand, bringing it to my lips for a kiss. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
She grinned. “I have my moments. Now, are you going to keep talking, or are you going to show me that caveman side again?”
I didn’t need to be asked twice. In one swift motion, I rolled us over, hovering above her so I wouldn’t crush the bump. I captured her lips in a searing kiss, all the while marvelling at how lucky I’d gotten finding someone who accepted all of me — even the parts I was just discovering myself.