Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
EMMA
I stiffened, my eyes darting to the door. Any second now, Charlie would burst in, full of apologies and explanations. He had to.
The clock on the wall ticked away, each second amplifying my growing unease. Where was he? He’d never missed an appointment before.
I pulled out my phone, tapping out another message.
Emma
Where are you?
The message joined a string of increasingly frantic texts I’d sent over the past hour. No response. I hit the call button, listening to the rings with bated breath.
“Hey, this is Charlie. Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
I hung up, frustration bubbling in my chest. “Come on, Charlie,” I muttered, glancing at the clock again. “Don’t do this to me.”
“The doctor is ready for you now, Ms Sullivan.”
“Can we wait a few minutes?” I asked, hating the pleading note in my voice. “My... partner should be here soon.”
The receptionist’s lips thinned. “I’m sorry, but we’re already running behind schedule. If you’d prefer to reschedule?—”
“No.” I heaved myself up from the chair, my thirty-week belly making the simple action a chore. “No, I’ll go in now.”
My phone buzzed as I waddled towards the examination room. Hope flared in my chest, only to be extinguished when I saw it was a work email.
“Hello, Emma. How are you feeling today?” The doctor asked as I entered.
“Great.” I plastered on a smile, hoping she wouldn’t notice the lie. “Just a little tired.”
She glanced at the door as I shut it, surprise flickering across her face. “Is Charlie not joining us today?”
The question hit me like a sucker punch. “He’s... stuck in traffic,” I mumbled, the lie tasting bitter on my tongue.
She nodded, but I caught the flicker of concern in her eyes. As she began the examination, asking routine questions about my symptoms and diet, my mind wandered.
Why hadn’t Charlie shown up? Had something happened? Or had he simply... forgotten?
The thought sent a chill through me. Charlie forgetting about us seemed impossible, yet here I sat, alone in a doctor’s office while he was god knows where.
“How is the morning sickness?” the doctor’s voice snapped me back to reality. “Any progress?”
I blinked, refocusing on the doctor’s question. “Oh, the morning sickness? It’s... actually much better. I haven’t thrown up in over a week.”
The doctor’s eyebrows shot up, a smile spreading across her face. “That’s excellent news, Emma! How are you feeling overall?”
“Less like death warmed over.” I smiled, though it was weak. “I can keep food down now, which is a nice change.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” The doctor scribbled in my file. “Let’s hope it stays that way for the rest of your pregnancy. Alright, let’s do a quick scan to check on the baby. If you could lie back and lift your shirt, please.” She gestured to the examination table.
I did as told, shuffling up onto the table. I winced as the cool gel hit my skin. My eyes fixed on the screen as the doctor moved the wand over my stomach, but I barely saw it, too busy sifting through the last few months. I’d had to swallow my pride to accept Charlie’s help and move in with him, but that shouldn’t have made me dependent on him.
Was it when he’d insisted on installing that handrail in the shower? I’d brushed it off as unnecessary at the time, but now I used it every day. Or maybe it was earlier, when he’d started stocking the fridge with my favourite snacks without me asking.
“The baby’s measuring right on track,” the doctor said, oblivious to my internal struggle.
While she continued to inspect the baby, images flashed through my mind. Charlie bringing me ginger tea in bed when the morning sickness hit hard. His hand on my back, steadying me as I wobbled out of the shower. The way he’d rearranged the kitchen when I refused to ask him for help to reach the higher shelves, putting everything I needed within easy reach.
When had I started expecting these things?
Should I have put up more of a fight the first day I moved in and insisted on carrying my own suitcase? Or told him not to bother when he’d stayed up all night researching pregnancy-safe foods when I couldn’t keep anything down? He’d shown up the next morning with a grocery bag full of bland crackers and herbal teas, a triumphant grin on his face.
The list grew longer with each passing second. Charlie scheduling my appointments and adding them to his calendar. Him rubbing my swollen feet without me having to ask. The way he’d started making decisions about the nursery, picking out paint colours and furniture.
My stomach churned, and not from morning sickness. How had I let this happen? I’d always prided myself on my independence, on never needing anyone. Yet I was pregnant and reliant on a man I barely knew.
I’d given up control, piece by piece, without even noticing. My life, my choices, my body — they all seemed to revolve around Charlie now.
“Everything looks good,” the doctor’s voice cut through my spiralling thoughts. “The baby’s growing right on schedule. Do you have any questions?”
I shook my head, unable to trust my voice. She handed me a wad of paper towels and chatted about my next appointment, explaining what I should expect now that I was in my third trimester. My hands trembled as I wiped the gel off. I focused on my breathing, forcing air into my lungs while my body tried to seize up in panic.
What had I done? How had I let myself become so dependent? And more importantly, how could I claw back some semblance of control? How could I even allow this to happen?
I mean I knew why it had happened. At some point I’d started to believe in the stupid man because…
A sweet ache developed in my chest and the backs of my eyes burned. I frowned at the clinical walls. I couldn’t possibly…
Love him? Could I?
The realisation hit me like a punch to the gut, leaving me breathless because yes, I did. I hadn’t just become dependent on Charlie — I’d fallen for him. Hard.
But it didn’t matter if he loved me back or not. Because I loved him. The thought was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
We’d fallen into an easy routine: sharing meals, laughing over my latest weird craving, me reading while he binge watched the latest TV show, Charlie talking to the baby every night. I’d even braved one of his premieres so he’d stop nagging me about it.
I’d always prided myself on my independence, on never needing anyone. Yet I was alone in a new city, pinning my hopes on a man I’d known for less than a year. A man I loved, who might not love me back.
A few hours later, I jumped at the scrape of a key in the lock. Charlie burst through the door, his hair dishevelled and his tie askew.
“Hey, Em!” He called out, barely glancing my way as he rushed towards the stairs. “Sorry I missed your calls. Work was crazy today. Everything okay?”
I stared at him. Could he tell? Was I looking at him differently than I normally did?
“Everything okay?” I repeated, my voice carefully controlled. “You missed the appointment.”
He froze, one foot on the stairs. Slowly, he turned to face me, confusion etched across his features. “Appointment?”
The word hung in the air between us, heavy with implications. Charlie’s eyes widened as realisation dawned.
“Shit. Emma, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot.” He rushed back down the stairs, his face a mask of guilt and remorse. “I can’t believe I forgot. I’m such an idiot. There was this crisis with one of my clients, and I just... I have no excuse. I should have been there.”
I chewed my lip, torn between the urge to forgive him instantly and the need to protect my heart. If I forgave him too fast, he’d know something was up.
“It’s fine,” I said, my voice carefully neutral. “These things happen.”
“No, it’s not okay.” He ran an agitated hand through his hair. “This was important. I should have been there for both of you.” He moved closer, his eyes pleading. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I’ll be at every appointment from now on. I’ll take the whole day off if I have to.”
One look at that earnest face and my resolve weakened. But I couldn’t let him see how much his words affected me. How much he affected me. I could handle knowing he didn’t love me, but hearing the words from his lips would break my heart.
“Really, Charlie, it’s fine,” I said, injecting a hint of coolness into my tone. I unconsciously placed a protective hand on my belly. “The baby’s fine. Growing right on schedule. And my morning sickness seems to be done.”
“That’s great news!” A genuine smile lit up his face. Then his expression turned serious again. “But I still feel terrible. Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?”
I shook my head, afraid that if I spoke, I’d reveal too much. That I’d tell him how much I needed him. How much I loved him.
He glanced at his watch, panic gripping him. “Shit, we’re going to be late. I need to shower before we meet Jesse and Lukas.” He started up the stairs, taking them two at a time.